Suz - Congratulations you were first :) You want more addek fics? Ok then i will write more for you...of course i have to finish the new A/A first. Haha you are impatient. Thank you for the wonderful review.

Tna - Addek safe haven lol thanks for saving me a room. I hope you like this chapter.

crazy-chica6 - I am glad you like it and of course Addek world is amazing.

CCke - I didn't like the way their marriage ended either. In fact i just hate the fact that it ended. Enjoy the Addek.

Rosy - Thanks girl and sorry for the long wait. I'm very happy that you like it.

Claire - Well you can thank Suz for the amazing title ;) Glad you like it and enjoy this chapter.

Ladyforg72 - Thanks i hope you love this chapter as well.

picric drea - I am very sorry for the delay. I promise chapter 3 will be updated quickly. Thank you for your review.

Lu78 - I am glad you like it and of course i will continue.

A/N - All i can do is apologise for the the long delay, it was in no way my fault. I have been trying to post this for the last 5 days. At long lsat here is the next chapter i hope you enjoy it.

Oh and of course thanks Suz for beta reading.

I can't stop this feeling I've got,
I know who I am and I know what I'm not
I know where I've been and I know what I've lost
But I can't stop this feeling I've got

Razorlight, I Can't Stop This Feeling I've Got

Chapter 2 – I Can't Stop This Feeling I've Got

Addison stopped at the trailer after she finished work to clear out the rest of her belongings. She felt numb as she packed up the last of her things, sorting through all of the stuff and dividing it between herself and Derek. It felt so cold and clinical. In theory it seemed great…just divide everything 50:50. But every item held a memory…it had a story behind it, capable of making her laugh out loud or burst in to tears.

How was she supposed to decide which memories she got to keep and which belonged to Derek? She pushed her emotions aside and forced the memories to the back of her mind. She made quicker work of the things if she looked at them as mere objects with no emotional attachments.

By the time Derek arrived home to the trailer it was considerably emptier than it was when he had left. At first he barely noticed what was missing, but then he began to realise the little things that were no longer there. He jumped in the shower and noticed the flowery scent of her shampoo was gone; her toothbrush which had always stood next to his was missing.

Derek couldn't believe that she had really gone through with it. She had really left him. His mind struggled to catch up with what his eyes were seeing. Derek opened the door to the trailer and went out on to the decking to try and calm himself down. Running a hand through his hair he tried to calm his racing heart. As he looked around at the wilderness that surrounded him, for the first time since he had moved to Seattle he felt truly isolated.

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Addison arrived at the hospital the next day with just one thing in mind. Avoid Derek. She was determined to start over and that meant no more pining over a man who didn't love her.

She avoided the locker room in case he was there and used her office instead. She couldn't help but laugh at what measures she had resorted to in order to stay out of his way.

Addison walked up the stairs to the OB-GYN floor and grabbed a chart from the nurse's station. She flipped it open and started making some notes, waiting for her intern for the day. She saw Alex Karev approaching and closed the chart with a snap.

"You took your time Karev, do you think…" Addison froze mid sentence when she heard Derek's voice getting louder as he got nearer. "Lets…erm…go around here" She darted away from the nurses station and around the next corner out of sight.

Alex looked at her like she had grown two heads but dutifully followed her. "Dr.Montgomery?" He said loudly.

"Shhhh. God Karev, do you have to shout so the whole hospital can hear you?" Addison hissed at him while peering around the corner to see Derek and Meredith stopped talking at the nurse's station.

"What? I wasn't shouting!" Alex said angrily. He sighed when he realised he was talking to himself. Addison was straining to hear what was being said by Derek and wasn't listening to a word he said.

Derek ran a hand through his hair. He looked at the young intern beside him and sighed at the pleading look on her face. All he felt when he looked at her was confusion…where was the spark they used to have? The only thing that stood out in his mind was that she wasn't Addison. Meredith reached out a hand and laced her fingers with his.

"Derek, I don't understand. Addison told me herself that it's over between the two of you, there's nothing to stop us now." Meredith said quietly.

That's true Derek thought to himself. There wasn't anything to stop them being together now. So why was he so reluctant to pursue a relationship with her? Images of Addison flashed through his mind, Addison smiling, laughing, crying…Addison clearing her things out of the trailer with tears rolling down her face. Derek felt his heart break in two at the thought.

Addison watched in despair as Derek and Meredith held hands, and felt her heart break as Derek leaned over and placed a kiss on her cheek softly. She felt a lump form in her throat as the last remnant of hope she had been clinging to was shattered before her very eyes.

She felt a tear roll down her cheek and swiped her hand at it angrily. Remembering where she was and who she was standing with she pushed her emotions aside, putting her professional mask firmly back in place.

"Let's go Dr.Karev, we have patients to see." She said, her voice void of any emotion. She spun on her heels and walked away from Derek towards her first patient.

Derek shook his head and looked at Meredith sadly.

"I'm sorry Mer, I really am. I can't do this. Maybe it's just too soon after Addison…but I don't know. Something just doesn't feel right," Derek explained. He leaned over and placed a kiss on her cheek softly.

Meredith stared at him confused for a moment, then turned and left with tears filling her eyes. Derek considered going after her, but what would he say? He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt a headache starting.

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Addison had a bad day. Looking back as she stopped by her office to pick up her things she realised that in fact the day couldn't have gone worse. As well as witnessing the sickly reunion between Meredith and Derek she had lost a patient, and had more arguments with Karev than she could count.

She walked over to the window and stared out at Seattle laid out before her. For once it wasn't raining but the sky held the promise of more rain to come. She jumped when there was a knock on the door and spun around to see who it was.

Derek knocked cautiously on the door. He was unsure why he was there; he just felt an uncontrollable urge to see her. Addison realised she was gaping at him with her mouth open so she snapped it shut quickly. She was at a loss as to why he was there, shouldn't he be with Meredith? Unless he had come to rub it in…she decided it was safer to wait for him to speak.

The silence dragged on for a eternity as neither one could think of anything to say. Eventually Derek sighed and spoke softly.

"I don't really know why I'm here; I just felt…I don't know."

"Well I don't know either Derek so don't look to me for the answers," Addison said sharply as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Addie…"

"Stop using the name you called me when we were together…we aren't a couple anymore...so stop to saying my name like it means something to you"

"What changed Addison? Last time I checked we were doing fine and then all of a sudden you spring this on me…and before I know it we're getting divorced." Derek said angrily.

"That's just it Derek! Nothing changed! I thought that you were still missing Meredith and that's why you didn't bother with me…I thought things would get better between us. But it's months later now Derek and nothing has changed. How long did you want me to wait?"

"I don't know Addison. I know I've been a jerk but…I don't want this to be the end of us. This can't be the end…I don't want a divorce."

"It's not always about what you want Derek." Addison yelled.

Addison shivered under the intense stare he was giving her. She felt her cheeks flush, for the first time in a long while it was as though he was looking at her and really seeing her.

Derek couldn't help but stare. Her face was flushed and she was gesturing with her hands. She looked furious and he had never seen anything sexier. Now he remembered why they used to fight so much…between the two of them fighting always lead to other things.

Addison stared back with equal intensity. She cried out in surprise when he darted towards her and pushed her against the wall, holding her wrists above her head. He dipped his head and grabbed her lips between his own. Addison froze as he attacked her lips and pressed his body in to hers. He moved to her neck and nipped at her earlobe.

Addison heard herself moan out loud as she gave up resisting. She melted her body against his and sucked on his bottom lip. Addison couldn't think, couldn't breathe…all she could concentrate on was the scratching of his stubble on her cheek and his lips which were fused to hers.

She felt light-headed with lack of oxygen and pulled her lips from his. He cupped her cheek and rested his forehead against hers. Addison gasped for breath and pulled further away from him, she needed to think and the close proximity was clouding her brain.

The reality of what they were doing crashed down on her and she struggled to stay calm.

"Derek, what the hell was that? What about Meredith?" Addison said, still breathing hard.

"Addison, Meredith and I…we aren't together. I mean, she wanted to but I just couldn't…something stopped me from being with her. I didn't really understand what it was at the time but I do now. It's you. You're the reason, I love you Addie."

"Don't say that Derek! You can't just pick and choose when to love me, you've had me for the last 3 months and you've spent the entire time ignoring me. You can't just take that all back and decide that you love me again now. What about next week? A month down the line? How do I know you won't get sick of me again."

"I won't Addie…please, just trust me." Derek pleaded with her softly.

"I can't Derek, I can't put myself through this again. I don't think my heart can take being broken again and with you seems inevitable that it will get broken. I'm sorry." Addison felt the tears rolling down her cheeks but she ignored them. She grabbed her bag and ran from the room as fast as she could. Leaving Derek standing behind her with a sad look on his face.

To be continued...