Anger

Over the summer Sybil had shown up twice more in the middle of the night in sleep walking episodes. Tom had decided to let her sleep on the small sofa in his living room and allow her to return to the Abbey on her own both times. She had repeatedly kissed him and told him how much she loved him in her sleep. It was becoming increasingly evident to him that she truly was in love with him although she was much too frightened of her family's reaction to admit it yet. Tom's upset over her lack of response to his proposal was hurtful beyond belief. He wanted to strike back, to humiliate Sybil and her family who he saw as the cause of his despair.

One day she stopped by to chat with no particular reason and he asked her outright if she had an answer for him.

"To what?" Sybil replied.

"Do you have an answer for me, for what I asked you in York?"

"Not yet," was all Sybil replied before she hurried away with her head down.

"So you are thinking about it," he said quietly enough so she couldn't hear him as she retreated.

Another day he informed her she was in love with him but too frightened to admit it and another he asked her outright if she loved him. Each time she evaded the question and hurried away. One day in late summer she showed up in the garage while he was reading a letter from home. The news wasn't good and his irritation and anger at the injustices carried out in his homeland on a daily basis were making him bristle.

"What are you reading?" Sybil inquired.

"A letter from home. The news isn't good."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Really? What do you care?" he questioned peevishly. His anger was hanging around him like a cloud.

"Why do you have to be so angry all the time?" Sybil shot back.

"Why? Can't you figure it out?" Tom was mad now, really mad. He put one arm on each side of her effectively trapping her against the tool bench. "I asked a girl to marry me and it's been almost a year without an answer. She snogs me senseless in her sleep and the rest of the time..."

Sybil gasped at his words.

"You said nothing had happened."

"I was trying to protect you, but I don't think you care. Do you?"

"Let me go." Sybil's pushed against his arm. She wanted to run away in her embarrassment.

"No. Answer me."

"I can't."

"You can't or you won't."

"Both!"

His anger was getting the better of him. Tom stepped forward and kissed her. Not a soft pleasant kiss, but one that held his anger and torment from the last year. His arms were around her in a tight grip and Sybil was frightened. Had she pushed this man too far. His fists flailed against his arms. As the anger left him and his arms loosened slightly, Sybil began to relax into the sensation and started kissing him back. Her lips parted and she felt his tongue enter her mouth and gently touch hers. Her arms crept around his shoulders. She felt herself pressing into him. Everything she had been hiding from him and her self was there. This wasn't just a casual kiss. He was the other half of her and would be until the day she died.

When the kiss finally ended he kissed the side of her mouth, her cheekbones and the corners of her eyes. He ran his lips along her jaw and finally kissed her again. Sybil felt as though she were drowning in the sensation of being this close to him. There was no conscious thought other than the desire for more of his touch. His grip had loosened and now he held her in a comfortable embrace against his body. He finally pulled back slightly and looked into her face. His mouth remained just inches from hers.

"Do you love me?" he questioned.

Sybil nodded. "I do," she breathed and moved to kiss him again. She had never kissed another man and the sensation was new. So new she couldn't get enough. His lips were firm and soft at the same time. His tongue against hers sent shocks of sensation to her abdomen. He tasted like more. Tom broke the kiss when he heard the click of shoes on the cobblestones coming towards the garage. He quickly went to the door to see who it was. Sybil knew better than to have been caught standing in the garage with her lips swollen from kissing. She went to the back door and let herself out. When Tom finished taking the request for the motor for the afternoon, he returned to the garage to find it empty.

Four weeks went by before Tom saw her again. He knew she was avoiding him. He regretted loosing his temper and had left her a note saying how sorry he was for his actions. He wanted to apologize in person but the opportunity had not presented it'self with a house full of people. Finally he got the opportunity. He had dropped Lord Grantham at the front door when Sybil came outside. When she saw him she turned to go back in. Tom went to her and was careful not to touch her.

"Lady Sybil, may I have a word?" He had taken off his hat and was fiddling with the brim.

"What is it Branson?" she said warily.

"In private."

"I don't think that is such a good idea."

"Well, at least not in front of the door." He was apprehensive and upset.

"Very well then. I'm done with my shift in an hour. Meet me at the bench by the elm tree then." Sybil hadn't looked up during the entire exchange.

Tom just nodded his acceptance. He felt like such a fool for letting his anger push her into an admission she wasn't ready for. He put his hat back on and moved the still running car away from the door and headed back to the garage.

At the appointed time he went to the elm to wait for her. The darkness of his uniform made him blend into the shade under the tree. He stood between the elm and a nearby hedge to avoid the looks of any curious passers by. It wasn't long and Sybil came down the path from the house, still wearing her nursing uniform.

"What did you want to speak to me about?" she asked. She hung back slightly with one arm wrapped around her waist.

"I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that I let my temper get the best of me the last time we spoke and beg your forgiveness. I was upset. I know that is no excuse for my actions. I hope you can forgive me." His head was down and his hair hung forward over his face.

Sybil thought she could see the faintest hint of moisture in the corners of his eyes. Love wasn't what she had always thought it would be. It was joy and hurt mixed with pain. With love came the ability of the other to inflict hurt with a glance or wipe it away with a gesture or a few words.

"I forgive you," she said quietly stepping closer and placing her hand on his. "You shocked me. I needed time to think things over, but I don't blame you." She took another half step closer and put her hand on the side of his face. She could see how terribly upset he still was. She stood on her tiptoes and placed a light kiss on his lips.

Tom's arms went around her and pulled her into his embrace. She could feel the suppressed sobs that wanted to break free inside of him. His face was buried in her hair. She tucked her face into his neck and just held him for a moment.

"I thought I'd lost you forever," he said into her hair. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine. We're fine," Sybil said. "I'm sorry too, for not talking to you sooner." She raised her lips to his and kissed him. He kissed her back so gently there was no question that he had been as torn as she had for the last month. When they finally broke the kiss, Sybil stepped back.

"I have to go," she said with a faint smile. "I'll come and find you tomorrow. We can talk then. Alright?"

Tom nodded his ascent. Placed his hat back on and turned to walk away. He stopped after a few steps and turned back.

"Thank you," he said before he strode off.