Pathetic
Jacobs POV:
Soon after Caius death live started to get easier, it was strange but I think no one really missed him and no one was sad – maybe except of Jane but since I didn´t like her I didn´t care.
Suddenly we had many guests in Volterra, a lot of vampires that wanted to visit Aro or Marcus – but the one I wanted to see the most never visited. Edward was strong, he kept still his promise.
With all the people in the house we had often something to celebrate, our friends from all over the world joined our festivities and some of them stayed with us for a time. One day Marcus even organized a costume ball, some outfits were imaginative and colorful others seem to be designed like the cloth the vampires have worn in their former live.
It was a great event, but I couldn´t bear all the smiling, chatting and dancing people around me. Not today. It was the 7th May the night Edward has kissed me for the first time. I didn´t know the exact date so I had chosen this and the next day for our first-kiss-anniversary.
It was the day I missed him even more than usual. I couldn´t stand the happiness in the great hall any longer and sneaked to my room, or better to say my apartment – I can tell a huge area my own since I moved in Caius former accommodations. But in fact, I would swap it on the spot against my old room in LaPush.
I almost managed to let myself drop on my bed – as said almost – and fell on the floor next to it. On the purple carpet there I curled myself into a ball and waited that the pain would stop or at least ease a bit.
When I felt strong enough I crawled onto my bed, took Edwards shirt – which was always hidden under my pillow – and wished his scent would still adhere on it. I grabbed for my mobile phone and dialed the number of my mobile-box – the pain was so overwhelming that day, I assumed hearing the old messages couldn´t make it worst.
I was wrong!
It became much worst when a nice female voice told me "You have one new message" Of course it was Edward. He told me that he was proud of me and that he still waited for me.
My heart ached more than I thought would be possible. I cried the whole night and eventually I supposed I´m going to get dehydrated if I can´t stop this stupid tears from falling but I couldn´t hold them back.
Alec found me still sobbing when he came to bring me some breakfast and look how I feel. I´ve told him the evening before that I didn´t feel well and that I prefer going to bed of partying; he wanted to come with me but I´ve told him that I wanted to be alone.
Since he has never seen me so pathetic, he was shocked from my condition; he turned around immediately and guided Aro to my room only minutes later. I´ve never shown him this side of me as well, I was always strong and self-confident like I should have been but now he saw me weak, insecure and helpless. He was very uncomfortable with this situation, so he sat down on the edge of my bed and asked:"What it is dear Jacob? Is there anything I could do to help you?"
Because I didn´t trust my voice I simply gripped his hand to show him what was bothering me. "Oh" was his first reaction when he looked in my mind. He took his hand back and gave me a gloomy look, then he turned his head to Alec and said "Alec, dear would you be so kind and pack-up Jakes stuff in a bag – he is going home!"
I couldn´t believe what I have just heard and repeated questioningly "I´m going home?"
When his eyes met mine they were full of love "Of course you do, you´re far too long away from your love now!"
I was still doubtful "You let me go?"
His voice became serious "You´re not a prisoner Jake! Even if I would prefer that you would stay you´re free to go wherever you want!"
I couldn´t thank him enough. I pulled him in a strong embrace and for the first time in nearly seven years I felt absolutely happy.
It didn´t took me long to smash all my stuff in bags and suitcases but saying good bye to all my friends took me hours. Back in the entrance hall - where Caren the momentary receptionist watched over my luggage – I saw a tiny woman and a huge guy step out of the elevator.
I couldn´t stop myself, I raced through the hall and took her into my arms "Alice" I whispered "I´m going home!" She smiled waggish "Dump, that´s why we are here" Foresight – I should have known.
Stop! She said we?
I looked at the young man beside her and it took me a minute to identify him "Seth - you´re grown up, you´re huge" I said and when he hugged me I added "and strong"
Then with a last look back I pulled them both with me in the elevator and ordered cheerful "C´mon guys I don´t want to waste any more time! You can bring me home now!"