…is worth it

Jacobs POV:

I was so happy and cheerful, I couldn´t describe my feelings. I was selfish, I wouldn´t tell anyone that he will be mine so I asked him "I want to keep it secret Ed, if only for tonight. I want to be your secret finance` at least till Alice get to know it. Are you okay with that?"

Edward replied nothing, he only kissed me again and again – I took it as a yes.

We went back to my welcome party and took our seats on the table between my Dad – on my side – and Emily – besides my fiancé. Even if I was used to hide my feelings und normal circumstances, I had no chance to suppress how joyful I was right then.

I recognized that my friends watched us curious; every now and then they threw secret sideway glances to us and whispered with each other. Finally when Ed handed Emily a basket of bread she eyed the ring on his finger, glanced at us and reached for my left hand. Since it was senseless to keep my mouth shut any longer it burst out of me. "We´re getting married!" Ed squeezed my hand when all heads turned to us – okay, no more secret fiancés, now that everyone knows.

We earned a lot of embraces and smiles and good advices from our friends, even Seth came to congratulate and when he hugged me he looked guilty, he knew that Ed has told me everything what happened between them so he whispered in my ear "Could you ever forgive me?" I wanted to say no but I was too happy tease him and answered "You´ve made him pleased when I couldn´t be there for him, so you´re forgiven. But Seth took my advice, don´t dare to touch my man ever again, you´ll regret it bitterly!" Seth shrugged under my words but I meant what I have said and I was damned sure he knew that.

It didn´t take long until Alice ant rest of the family joined us and when she asked if she could be the wedding planner we agreed – mindless as we were.

The date was fixed; the first of July should be the big day. That means enough time to invite my friends from all over the world and for Alice more time to organize the most beautiful wedding ceremony that you can imagine – her words not mine, because we aren´t involved in the planning.

On the other side we´ve chosen the date because it wouldn´t be too long to wait for our great day – since we were separated long enough.

Alice wanted to organize a really big event, from our wedding should be told for years later. She wanted a perfect celebration, with all what belongs to it - flowers, candles, music, a huge variety of food and drinks; she even put down a dress code.

Even if Edward thought she was exaggerating, and he would prefer to celebrate on a smaller scale - perhaps only with our families. I must admit, I loved her ideas; I wanted to give this perfect man my vow in a perfect ceremony.

As said, after we have given her a free hand with the whole organization we had nothing to decide any longer – not where or how the ceremony should be, not what we wanted to wear, simply nothing. No, that´s not true, she gave both of us three tasks.

First: Write a guest list – which wasn´t so easy because I wanted to invite some of the shape-shifters I knew from my journeys and I had no plan how to send a invitation to a place where no postman ever comes to.

Second: Write a great wedding-vow – I guess I started writing about hundred times and none of my tries were perfect enough so I spent much time alone on the cliffs to think about it and in the end I was satisfied with it.

And the third order she gave us was: "Get out of my way"

She was busy for days to redesign the garden so that both rows of white chairs for the ceremony, as well as plenty of tables and chairs for the celebration and the dinner afterwards got the right place. I did not have the slightest idea how much she has spent only for the flower decoration indeed, I could not even find out what flowers she had chosen.

Somehow it felt strange to get at my own wedding nothing to say. But at least we had in this way more time for more important things, such as cuddling together in the sun, to go for a walk on the beach and watch the sunrise or sunset, to visit our friends or to make plans for our future.

Unfortunately it also meant more time to even worry about. What if he changes his mind? Perhaps the hype Alice is held, is too much for him? Perhaps my request was too hasty and I've caught him by surprise, maybe he regrets it already. And why the hell was it so hard for me to write this damn marriage vows? Maybe I was the one who was not yet ready!

No, I really did not doubt the decision to get married and I was also sure that Ed is looking forward to it as much as I do. I had no experience in such matters, but in a book on bridal couples - not that I would buy something like that, I just read a bit in it when I saw it lying there in a bookstore by chance - was that many people just before their wedding be haunted by doubts.

After several days Alice had been with Edward in different shops to find the perfect suit for him now it was my turn to be clothed in new. She dragged me from shop to shop and let me try numerous clothes that seemed until the different colors all pretty equal. I rather favored darker colors, a dark purple or classic black, perhaps - but I fear my future sister-in-law has otherwise provided for me.

Because she had created a complete color scheme for the festivities - which we of course could know nothing more precise - had logically to be tailored to our tuxedos. So Ed and I wouldn´t know until the wedding day, what we would wear. As if it was not enough that we could not see each other in our suits, she had us even banned to spend the last night as bachelors in the same house - Alice had decided to keep it in its entirety to the old tradition. So I was unceremoniously banished to LaPush while Ed was allowed to stay in our room.

Since the house was anyway crowded with the guests who had arrived just one day before, it was perhaps not so bad to escape a little from the hustle and bustle. A few hours rest before the long day would surely not hurt me.

Well, although I would like to have been with him that night, I barely had time to miss him or think about the next day. My pack brothers were adopted on an appropriate bachelor party and Jasper and Emmett had planned a small celebration for Edward too.

I had wondered really long who I would have liked as best man at my side. The decision was not easy for me. Sam had always been a good advisor. Paul had made it easier for Ed to move away from Bella. Embry and Quill had always been loyal friends. And then there was Seth. He was always special for me, I loved him like a brother, and I had confided my life to him. But he was also the lover of my fiancé and has been for years.

Long story short, I opted for Seth, I could finally understand why he had felt most attracted to Edward, and I forgave them both.

We celebrated on the beach. A fire of driftwood was lit; we sat in a circle, drank beer and had hot dogs and marshmallows we roasted in the fire. It was a peaceful gathering and that was a good thing. I would have freaked me they had tried to pull into a strip club as you see in movies.

Some would call it the last night as a free man, but I would say: Oh, no still a whole night before I finally become Mr. Jacob Cullen-Black.