Can lightning strike twice? Debatable. Can I update twice within a reasonable amount of time? I would have gone with the whole lightning striking twice thing happening first. Honestly, I'm just as surprised as you are. Let's go with this is an I'm sorry for the impromptu hiatuses. Also, don't get used to this haha.

I haven't forgotten Chivalry is Dead, I'll try to have that updated sometime within the week.

Thanks for the alerts, favorites, etc. It always surprises me for some reason that people keep sticking with this and my haphazard updating.

Reviewers: fookyeahskins, sxe fiend, S, LoveNAOMILY, lemontray, DaraSmiles, and skinsfan15– thank you for taking the time to review. It always makes my day when that little 'ding' goes and it's a note from one of you guys (lets be honest, gals). Truly is some motivation that is.

(skinsfan15 – I agree, it would be really cool to have a chapter from Emily's perspective, but as Naomi doesn't get that luxury, sadly neither do we haha sorry. We only know what Naomi knows, or doesn't.)

Please do let me know what you think. And as always, thanks for reading.

I don't own Skins or anything of the sort.

Chapter XIX: Love is how it's lost, not how it's found

..

..

Naomi's head hurt. She was also pretty sure she was still drunk. How you could be still drunk and hungover at the same time she didn't know. But there she was. After a forced breakfast of greasy cafeteria food with the fab four she had stumbled back to her room with the sole intent of crawling into bed and never leaving it again.

"Panda said you didn't come back to the dorm last night?" Greeted Naomi as she entered her own room. Panda and Sophia were sat in the late morning light. Naomi was surprised Panda was even in the dorm to know that she hadn't come back. She had been on the floor below in Thomas's room more nights than her own recently. "She said she saw you with Emily?"

"What?" Naomi asked confused, her mind still foggy and the current obstacle of Sophia between her and her bed made her grouchy. "What are you keeping tabs on me?" She realized Panda must have seen her talking with Emily on her way to Sarah's. "I went out with Sarah and them last night. Ended up just crashing at hers."

Sophia looked a mix of relieved and hurt, probably because she wasn't actually with Emily last night and because Naomi went out with Sarah and them without inviting Sophia along.

"Our dorm is right next door," Sophia stated. "You couldn't make it back?"

Naomi shrugged. Abandoning the easy trail to her bed Sophia was inadvertently blocking by sitting in her chair and with a jump and the leftover strength of a drunk person hoisted herself up into her bed. She felt too hungover to properly deal with answering.

Naomi put in her headphones and let the previous night flash through her mind as she chased sleep.

..

Naomi was drunk. In the earlier half of the night she had found herself in a dodgy flat about a fifteen minute walk from campus. It smelt of stale beer and too many people, as any good party did. She was sure if it weren't for the extremely loud music you could hear as much as you could feel your trainers sticking to the floor with every step. Even when they had run into Will and per usual greeting he picked her up and spun her around she was convinced he had had to pull a little bit harder than normal to disengage her trainers from the steadfast floor. She was also fairly certain she hadn't been this pissed since the semi formal. So many she was just that drunk. Though there was one main and glorious difference between that night and this, there was no Sophia lurking about for her to deal with. No drunk Sophia to placate. No pending, un-resolving, drunk talk to worry about looming over her head for when they got back from the party. She felt carefree, and it was lovely.

..

..

"Hey, you ready to go?" Sophia asked stalling in Naomi's doorway. It wasn't until late afternoon Naomi had successfully dragged herself out of bed. Evening now set in and she was sat at her desk, computer on her lap, television on repeats, with no intentions of moving.

"Go where?" Naomi asked with a quirk of an eyebrow. She was fairly certain she had died at some point last night / this morning, and she had slowly regenerated through out the day. Events from the previous night flashing back throughout the day like someone's life before they died. She had no intentions of going anywhere tonight. If she were a phoenix she would still be ashy and smoldering just emerged from the embers. She looked up from her laptop.

"Out," Sophia said as if it were obvious, "Sarah and them are meeting us here soon."

Naomi let out a booming laugh, "Not bloody likely."

"Yeah, I chatted with Sarah earlier."

"Good on you mate, I'm not going anywhere."

"You went out last night," Sophia reproached.

"Yeah," Naomi scoffed, "And I'm still recovering." She laughed. "I've felt like death all day. If I were to go have another go tonight I think I'd actually die."

Sophia pouted, "Oh come on, it'll be fun."

"I've no doubt," Naomi agreed, "If it's anything like last night you're in for a treat."

Sophia opened her mouth to protest further when Naomi heard the distinct sound of their friends barreling up the stairwell.

"Ay!" Brandt said as he popped into Naomi's room followed by Sarah, Katrina, and Sean. "There she is, ready for round two Champ?" He had a certain bounce to his step that reminded her of her old group mate Cook.

Naomi laughed shaking her head, "Still recovering from round one I'm afraid."

Sarah nodded her head appreciatively. "Last night will be hard to top."

"You gotta work on your endurance mate," Sean said.

"And who am I supposed to row home with?" Sarah asked seriously. "I need my fellow oarsman to man this boat."

Naomi laughed. Last night on their way home her and Sarah had ran down the streets side by side moving their arms as if they were rowing a boat. The entire way home they had done. And as predicted, that mattress on the floor had actually been the best thing in the world.

"Sorry mate," Naomi said, "Looks like you're going to have to sail solo this time."

"Fine," Sarah conceded with a rue smile, "but next time," she said pointing at the seated blonde, "I'm not taking no for an answer."

"I have no doubt," Naomi laughed.

Eventually Sophia had finally left with the fab four or as Naomi considered the more apply titled 'the fucking crazy yet fun four'. Though she admitted it didn't have quite the same ring to it. She had settled on some Doctor Who repeats as she couldn't focus enough to read, besides she had just finally evaded the worst of her headache. Last she needed was to bring it back.

..

She enjoyed the quiet of having her room to herself without the worry of Sophia coming by to chat. The floor was still, no one was even in the stairwell to have a "private" conversation that would echo through the stairwell and into every neighboring room, like Naomi and Panda's. Panda was at Thomas and JJ's again, she assumed.

Naomi heard her computer ding, indicating she had a message. She furrowed her brow. Alex and Dentist Girl had gone into London to see Wicked. It was an anniversary, or late Christmas gift, or a birthday present, or something of the sort. Naomi couldn't remember. But if she was in London with said girl there was no way it was Alex messaging her. Unless she had severely bogged something up…which was always a possibility. She shook her head at her friend as she climbed down from her bed where she had been halfheartedly watching repeats.

She stared at the screen. She did a double take thinking her hungover mind was playing tricks on her.

Emily: Hey. You awake?

The blonde's heart rate increased.

Naomi: Hey, yeah. What are you up to?

Emily: You're not doing something are you? I'm not bothering you am I?

Naomi: Not at all

Emily: No party tonight?

Naomi: Nope, but if I were still a bit pissed from last night's, some things would be making more sense.

Emily: Is that so?

Naomi: Yes ma'am. Still recovering I'm afraid. What about you?

Emily: Already did.

Naomi: Back so soon?

Emily: Wasn't feeling it.

Naomi: Ah, nothing worse than being around a bunch of drunk wankers.

Emily: Hah, you know its even worse when you're one of them. And you still can't stand being there.

Naomi: That is impressive.

Emily: Yup.

Naomi stared at her screen, willing some sort of wit or even the bare minimum of a conversational line to come to mind. Nothing did, and Emily did say anything either, so she just stared at the screen. Eventually she turned her focus back onto the television.

There was another ding.

Emily: Can I be honest with you?

Naomi's heart jumped. Emily had a way of turning simple phrases into statements and question that would make Naomi's palms sweaty, if she were that type of person. She wasn't thankfully.

Naomi: Course

Emily: I can't stop crying

Naomi didn't know what she was expecting Emily to say, but it wasn't that.

Naomi: What? Are you alright?

Stupid question she thought. Obviously she's not all right if she can't stop crying you twat.

Emily: Yeah. No. I duno. I just…I have the lights off and I just can't stop crying and Katie's wanker of a boyfriend is visiting and I think they're fucking snogging. I just don't want to be here. I duno.

She stared at the screen for a beat.

Naomi: So come here.

She hit enter before she could even process her response.

Emily: What?

Naomi: So come here. I'm just being boring and watching repeats in here.

Emily: I don't want to be a bother.

Naomi: You're not.

Emily: What about Panda? It's late.

Naomi: Panda's not here.

Emily: But I'd feel bad if she came back wanting to sleep and I'm crying in her room.

Naomi laughed.

Naomi: Hah, don't worry about that, she's not coming back tonight.

Emily: How do you know that? Did she go home for the weekend?

Naomi: No, but she'll be sleeping at Thomas' tonight.

Emily: Oh

Naomi: Yeah, so just come here.

Emily: Are you sure?

Naomi: Yes, Emily. I'm sure.

Emily: Okay.

Naomi felt that thing in the pit of her stomach reforming, as if all the atoms in her body were buzzing as they whispered to one another, spreading the news; Emily was coming over. She did her best to dismiss it. Emily signed off. Naomi halfway panicked. She never knew what to do when a girl was crying. In fact she usually made a point to avoid them; crying girls, talking to crying girls, attempting to comfort crying girls. She suddenly felt beyond her realm. Emily seemed to do that. What the hell was she doing? But just the thought of Emily crying to herself in the dark pulled at what she supposed was her heart.

There was a knock on the door.

"Open," Naomi stated closing her computer as she did so.

"Hi," Emily said sheepishly. Emily was blunt, Emily was confident, Emily didn't fuck about. These were the few things Naomi knew about the intriguing redhead. She never expected to see Emily sheepish, but over looking the obvious tears and sadness, it was adorable. Not that Naomi would admit that.

"Hi," Naomi replied through a small lopsided smile. She looked around the room quickly, realizing she didn't have a proper seat for Emily and grabbed Panda's orange fuzzy chair, pulling it next to her by her desk. The two smiled at each other and Emily took the offered seat.

Emily wiped the tears from eyes. "Thanks," she mumbled.

"Anytime," Naomi smiled genuinely.

"I'm sorry," Emily said through a shaky breath, wiping her eyes. "I'm not one of these drunk crying girls I swear. I'm not a crier ever, really. And when I am it's definitely not in front of anyone." She looked at Naomi earnestly and sighed, "I just really didn't want to be in there."

"Well, then I guess it works out I'm a boring night in," Naomi smiled.

Emily gave a broken laugh wiping her face again. "I guess so."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really, no." She wiped at her eyes again.

"Okay," Naomi said simply cause Emily to look at her curiously. This wasn't journalism, if Emily wanted to tell her, she would.

They were quite for a moment and Emily put her head in her hands. Naomi knew that position. When you were still drunk and didn't want to be any longer. Hoping if you just closed your eyes for a moment and let the world settle, you'd open them again to find the world only spinning on it's usual axis. She reached a hand out and withdrew as quickly.

"Have you had any water?" Naomi asked suddenly.

"No," Emily replied.

"You should."

"I'm fine," Emily stated.

"Good," Naomi stated. "I'm glad. But you'll have some water anyway. Then you'll be better than fine."

"I don't like water," Emily said looking up from her hands.

"You are water," Naomi deadpanned.

"What?" Emily replied confused. Yep, definitely not yet sober.

"Nothing," Naomi shook her head, "I'm getting you a glass of water and you're drinking it."

Emily just looked at her as the blonde stood and made her way over to the mini fridge and pulled out Panda's pink water filter. She looked around until she found an empty cup. She inspected it, sniffed it, and shrugged; seemed clean. She wiped the inside with the hem of her shirt to be safe.

"Seriously Naomi," Emily said. " Stop. I'm fine, you don't need to go through any trouble an make a fuss."

"No trouble," Naomi smiled handing the mug of water to the petite redhead. "And I'll fuss regardless."

Emily gave her a protesting look before taking the offered cup. She looked down at it in her hands in her lap.

"You going to drink it or just stare at it?" Naomi prodded jovially. She didn't know what to do around crying, upset girls; emotions in general to be more specific. She figured she could handle trying to distract her if she didn't want to talk about it. Try to make her laugh, settle for a begrudging smile when she said something dorky rather than witty, that she reckoned she could do.

"Haven't decided yet," Emily said before shifting her gaze, mischievous slightly drunk puffy eyes meeting concerned amused blue.

Naomi laughed. It seemed Emily was almost as bad as her when it came to letting someone else take care of her.

"Does Panda usually not sleep here? I mean, do you have the room to yourself a lot?" Emily asked after her first unenthusiastic sip of water and looking around between the two distinct halves of the room.

"I think it would be a more accurate statement to say that Thomas and JJ have a third roommate than to say I had a roommate most of the time." Naomi chuckled.

"That must be nice," Emily said quickly wiping away another stubborn tear, "to have the room to yourself."

Naomi shrugged. "Yeah, especially with being somewhat nocturnal," she laughed.

"You an insomniac too?" Emily asked curiously.

"No, just really, really not a morning person." Naomi explained.

"Oh," she took another sip of water.

That sat in silence for a bit.

"Wish I had the room to myself," Emily sighed breaking the silence. Her hands only stopping their fidgeting with the mug to periodically wipe away a tear. "She's such a fucking cow."

Naomi sat silent, listening.

"She doesn't even tell me that dick splash of a boy is coming up to visit and then is upset with me when I come back to my room and want to sleep. The loo is right down the hall if she's that desperate for a shag." She let out an angry sigh and wiped away another tear. "I don't say anything when her when he comes to visit for the millionth time. But I even mention the thought of Mandy coming for a visit and I'm the selfish bitch. It's bloody ridiculous."

Right. Mandy. Naomi forgot about her. Or more likely did everything in her subconscious power to forget about her.

"That's not fair," Naomi added, lamely.

"I know!" Emily said wiping her eyes with the palm of her hand. "And then there is the other one. She's being just as much of a fucking pain in my arse. Who are you with? Why do I have to visit you, why can't you just come home? Who are you talking to? Like every person I talk to or become friends with I'm going to fucking fuck." She paused, her eyes meeting Naomi's for a moment before they both looked away. Emily took a large gulp of her water before continuing. "This isn't big fucking brother. It's bad enough living with big fucking sister. Don't need it coming for her too."

Naomi just continued to sit quiet and allow the other girl to let it out.

Emily sighed the type of sigh that involves one's whole body. "I just can't fuck escape, ya know?" she stated shifting her eyes to Naomi's.

Naomi gave her a half smile and bumped shoulders with the petite girl.

Emily gave her one of those looks of hers, followed by a weak smile. Naomi took it.

Emily let out an exasperated noise before rubbing her drying eyes. "I'm sorry I've been spilling my guts to you. I've probably ruined your night."

"Anytime," Naomi said, "And you haven't."

"I can go if you like?" Emily stated placing her partially drunk mug on Naomi's desk.

"You don't have to."

"Okay," Emily said siting back into her chair, "I didn't really want to, to be honest."

Naomi smiled and they were quiet again, though not uncomfortably so. It felt like Emily was trying to give her as well as herself every possible out, though neither of them were opting for it.

" So Doctor Who?" Emily asked as she looked up at Naomi's tiny television, eventually breaking the silence.

"Yeah, Doctor Who?" Naomi said, "I love it. Problem?"

Emily smirked.

"What?" Naomi asked.

"Nothing," Emily mused.

"What?" Naomi repeated.

"Nothing," Emily smirked, "Just didn't picture you a Doctor fan."

"Oh?"

"You're just full of surprises Naomi, aren't you." She said with a look Naomi couldn't describe.

"Am I?" Naomi quirked an eyebrow.

"You are."

"That a good or bad thing?"

Emily looked at her appraisingly for a moment. "Good."

"Good."

They were quiet again.

..

"Nope, not until you finish that cup."

"Jesus Naomi this is my third one." Emily moaned. "What are you trying to drown me?"

Naomi gave her an expectant look. "Maybe."

Emily rolled her eyes before dramatically downing the remaining contents of the mug. The two girls had flowed between pretending to watch the television, talking about anything and everything, to sitting contently in silence, all the while Emily slowly sobering up and Naomi somewhat force feeding her water.

"You sure you're an only child?" Emily asked.

"Positive," Naomi said as she watched Emily play with the now empty mug with her hands. "Why?"

"Cos you're quite good at that."

"At what?"

"At getting people to do things," she said tipping the empty cup upside down in emphasis. "It's like what I'd do to get my little brother to do something when he was little."

"Are you equating your drunk self to a small child?" Naomi teased.

"Oi!" Emily rolled her eyes but conceded a smile in the process. "Well, answer the question, why are you so good at it?" She pressed.

"Duno really," Naomi shrugged, "Definitely an only child. But I swear there were times I thought my mother was running a free hostel. She called it 'communal living'" Naomi said emphasized with air quotes and sarcastic tone. "Swear there were fifteen people living in my house at one point, and none of them paying rent." she shook her head before continuing. "Some of them thought they were the messiah," she rolled her eyes, "some didn't believe in clothing," she shuttered, "and some had spawned offspring before showing up on the doorstep. Guess I eventually learned how to keep them out of my room is all."

Emily gaped at Naomi, "Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Full of surprises," Emily mused again.

"You keep saying that."

"You keep surprising me."

After a few moments Emily laughed.

"What?" Naomi asked.

"My mother would have a hear attack at just hearing the words 'communal living'"

"Yeah my mothers an odd one, free spirit and all that."

"Sounds nice," Emily said.

"Bit of a cliché."

"A nice cliché," Emily countered before letting out a yawn. "Okay," she sighed," I think I'm going to attempt to sleep. And besides, they should be well passed out by now."

Naomi didn't want to think of that imagery.

"Okay," Naomi said.

"Thanks for err, you know, letting me ruin your night, taking care of me and everything." Emily said slightly awkwardly as walked to the doorway.

Naomi found herself standing as well. "You can ruin my night anytime."

Emily laughed before a serious look settled onto her face, "Seriously though, thank you."

"Anytime," Naomi returned sincerely.

After a small smile Emily turned to leave before turning round again. She took as step forward pausing again. Emily looks at her differently. They were about a step apart. Naomi felt her heart rate increase as she was acutely aware of the distance between herself and the redhead who currently looked as if she were debating something. She wondered if Emily was going to hug her. When just as they seemed like two magnets drawing closer, Emily reversed polarity and backed toward the door again.

"Night, Naomi." She said as she backed out of the door. And then she was gone.

Naomi felt that thing that she didn't quite understand in the pit of her stomach compound itself.

"Night." She returned to the now vacant doorway as she heard what could only be Emily's door close.