Disclaimer not mine. Thanks for the support for this story.

Talk?

Ruth lay on her side as she tried not to think of the last two cases the team had worked on. The safe house was barely what she would call homely but at the moment it was home to her, the boys and her pets. She smiled as she thought of how easily Scarlet and the cats had adapted to it. Nick seemed pleased that the repairs at their own house meant his room was also getting decorated and Harry had seemingly taken it all in his stride. Teh only time she had seen him flounder was when she had mentioned Ros. There was no way she would ever break Ros' confidence, even with Harry but she was not going to let the Section Chief destroy herself like Jo had done and like she had wanted to so many years earlier.

"Ruth." HArry wrapped his arm around her, gently stroking her baby bump through her nightshirt.

"Hmm?"

"Go to sleep and stop worrying. All we can do is be there. She hasn't asked about the file or the interviews once."

"But with Tessa pleading innocent." Ruth sighed. "We all have to give evidence. I know it's behind a screen and we will be given letters instead of using our names but they all know who Officer R and P will be. They know who we are and he knows what he did. What if something in the testimony sparks a memory for her? What if?"

"Ruth." Harry kissed her gently. "We will worry about that if it happens. She may well change her plea again. You know Tessa, she just likes to keep us on edge."

"I know. And I thought Juliet was a scheming cow." Ruth looked at Harry's bare chest as he smiled.

"Compared to Tess, Juliet always was an amateur." He kissed her gently. "Now can we stop talking about work and other women when we are in bed. Right now there is only one woman I am interested in." He smiled slightly as he saw the familiar blush rise up her cheeks.

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"Drink this." Lucas handed Ros a mug of tea as she sat staring into space. She didn't even acknowledge his presence.

"I was horrible to Jo."

"No you weren't." Lucas sat next to her on the sofa. The children slept on peacefully as he stared at his hands. He knew Ros was strong. She was probably the strongest woman he had ever met. The fact that she had been attacked and couldn't even remember parts of it was destroying her.

"I was. When you came back it was only a day before I was pulled out of a deep cover op in Russia." She stared at the tea. "And I was supposed to be dead."

"I know."

"Adam and Jo had been through Hell. Adam, well." She shrugged. "He deals with it by faking his death and running after Zaf."

"And?"

"And Jo quietly dies inside until she stands in front of my bullet. She remembered every little bit of what happened. Do you know she never smoked until then? That she barely drank? It hardened her in so many ways but she just couldn't deal with it. Adam tried to help, or so I am told." She paused. "What did I do? What I always do. Leave her to deal with her own shit nad made sure the job was done. Whatever the cost."

"Ros." Lucas took the mug from her hand. "You should stop blaming yourself for Jo. You know she'd hate that."

"Maybe." Ros stared at her empty hands, unsure what to do with them now Lucas had taken her tea away. He closed his eyes for a moment before reaching across and holding her hands.

"Definitely. Ros, you need to talk to someone. Someone who knows what to do."

"I am not going to Tring. No way." She shrugged his hands away.

"I didn't say Tring."

"Then what?" She kept her voice deliberately low, knowing the last thing she wanted was to have Amy wandering in and seeing her upset.

"There are groups, support for."

"If you say victim I will walk out that door." Ros hissed before leaning heavily against the door and running her hand through her short blonde hair. "I am not a victim."

"No." Lucas crossed to her. "But you can't do this on your own. If you wont talk to someone else talk to me."

"I."

"Ros." He brushed her hair away from her face. "This is me. Eight years in a Russian hell hole, one failed marriage, one stupid mistake leading me to change my name and hide for god knows how long. Nothing you can say can shock me." He watched as she smiled slightly.

"You have been a busy boy."

"Apart from the eight years." He kissed her forehead as her eyes fell closed. "When I was in Russia, in prison there were attacks like this. Not me. I was in solitary mostly but even so you heard."

"Yeah." Ros nodded. She knew how brutal the penal system in the former USSR really was. "I just, I knew what was happening in the office. I knew I had to get Beth away. They wold have killed her. I can still feel him, his hands. His breath. Stank of coffee and cigarette smoke. But everything else is hazy. I don't know how I ended up with Ruth. I don't know the same didn't happen to her."

"It didn't." Lucas watched as Ros' eyes clouded in confusion. "I asked her. I asked her what she knew about your abduction and I asked her about her own. She wasn't touched, like that. Maybe because she was clearly pregnant at the time."

"Maybe." Ros sighed. "Maybe the bastards did have something in them."

"Them?" Lucas felt his blood run cold.

"I don't know." Ros looked away, disgusted with herself. "I think it was just him but I don't know."

"Ros." Lucas whispered her name as he pulled her into his arms, relieved that she didn't pull him away. Her arms wrapped around him as he buried his face in her hair, determined to protect her.

"How can you look at me?" She mumbled into his bare chest. "How can you even bare to?"

"Because none of this is your fault." He pulled back and looked her in the eye. "Because I love you." Ros smiled slightly, she knew when Lucas was lying and she knew when he was trying to protect someone's feelings. That wasn't happening right now. "And I know you. I know you are going to beat this. Because you are right. You are not a victim."

"No." Ros nodded. "I am not."

"But you need to see someone, a counsellor. I had to when I got back from Russia."

"It was a condition of you returning." Ros remembered.

"Yeah and as much as I hated it I was relieved it wasn't Tring and it did help. If you put the work in too." He raised an eyebrow as he remembered how the staff psychologist was slightly scared of his wife. Ros could stare down a Major in charge of an SAS troop. An MI 5 psychologist was nothing.

"Ok." Ros surprised herself as she spoke. "No quacks. No realigning chakra crap and I'll talk to someone."

"Good." Lucas smiled slightly. He glanced across at the abandoned mugs on the table. He needed something stronger than tea. "It's strange at first but it helps."

"If you say so." She sighed.

"I do. Ros."

"Yeah?"

"When?"

"Let's get the bloody Opening Ceremony over tomorrow." She glanced at her watch. "Today." She corrected herself "And I will make an appointment."

"I'll be there." Lucas watched as she held his gaze. He couldn't help but smile slightly. He knew the Ros he had met on his return to London had been replaced by the woman in front of him but the steel was still there. She was still stronger than anyone he had ever met. The woman was a born spook and could take care of herself. He knew it had been hard for her to admit she was hurt.

"Yeah?"

"Ros. I am not going anywhere." He sighed as she nodded and slipped her fingers through his. For the first time since she had been found he could see she was coming back to him. It would be a long journey but his Ros was still there. He realised he had been quiet for a while when he felt her hand on his face, a thumb running over his stubble.

"Good." She sighed. "Because neither am I."

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A/N Not sure I like this chapter but that's it. Next chapter of One Fine Day up soon. Hope I did the subject matter and the characters justice.