Song- Dead Hearts, By Stars. Wail until you see the bold.
The troll rolled on his side, not being able to sleep well. Things have never been the same since then. Specially with the others he's been with. They're all weird, and one in particular is annoying. But he's just being himself. Anyways, The troll from earlier, the one that rolled on his side, sat up. He couldn't sleep. Again. He slowly stood up from the pile of random materials, to walk around. This place was so much better than the place he was before, with the others. Sure, it's yellow and purple parts were annoying when you run around.. Or rather, away from a said annoying troll.
He sighed, and looked down at his hand.. He missed his friends. Sure, they were some of the stupidest beings in all of Alternia, but..they were his friends.
Karkat clenched his fist and pounded it into the wall. Why couldn't he just save his friends, and live?! Would they even see him again? Are they going to be older trolls, with all of them easily towering over him, even Nepeta?!
Why'd he slip up, and let himself die?.. It hurt to die, but not as much as he felt alone. Sure, the trolls here, like Kankri and Porrim talked to him, but they didn't understand why he'd be lonely. He died alone, oh gog, so alone yet warm, while they all died together. He sacrificed himself, while it was unlikely that any of them would for each other.. His ancestor or descendant, whatever, would talk on and it wouldn't help him. He needed his friends.. They needed him too. Didn't they?
Karkat leaned his head back, and looked at the top of the bubble. He stared up, and sighed. He hasn't really even talked much. When he did though, it wasn't even a yell. More like a harsh whisper, or a quiet tone of annoyance...Until he finally lost his voice. He lulled his head to the side, and closed his eyes. He couldn't stand to look at some of the trolls. It would remind him too much of his friends. The only one he would ever stay around would be Meenah, since she was almost nothing like Feferi. Plus she wasn't as annoying.
But that never happened much. She was always off hunting for something to get money. That, or Kankri pulled him in for a sermon.
He's never hated existing so much. Karkat always found his friends to be annoying, stupid, and just unbearable.
Now he misses those annoying idiots.
Sollux's stupid lisp, and bragging habits.
Kanaya's motherly actions and kindness.
Eridan's whining and stupidity.
Nepeta's drawings and cat puns.
Feferi's glubs and her sweetness.
Tavros's stuttering and how he cared about people, even if they were mean.
Aradia's monotone yet intelligent voice.
Equius's annoying hoofbeast banter and his love for milk.
Vriska's sassy attitude and aggressive style.
Gamzee's stupid honking an his morialship..
Terezi and her cackle, her hanging scalemates, chalk, stupid comics...
Karkat attempted a hiss. He had told himself he wouldn't think about these, they made him feel left out. He wiped away a pale red tear that slipped out. When'd that happen?
When, suddenly he hears someone calling out for him.
"Karkat! Karkat, where are yo+u? There's so+mething yo+u need to+ see."
Porrim. He sighed, and wiped his face off quickly. Probably some sweater for him.
Tell me everything that happened, tell me everything you saw.
Karkat started walking from the Yellow-Purple, Derse and Propsit kingdom, toward where Porrim called.
They had lights inside their eyes, they had lights inside their eyes.
He tilted his head slightly, irritated, and quickened his pace. He heard other voices.
Did you hear the slamming window, did you see the slamming door?
He started to run, the voices getting louder. He turned right, and almost skidded into the railing.
They moved forth, and my heart died, they moved forth and my heart died.
Karkat ran up the stairs, tripping on his face. He rubbed his nose and his mouth twitched into a frown.
Please please, tell me what they looked like, did they seem afraid of you?
Karkat got to the top, and dusted himself up. He heard someone scream his name. He looked up.
They were kids that I once knew, they were kids that I once knew.
Karkat's eyes widened. His.. His friends.. His white eyes stared at all of the Yellow and one pair of orangish eyes.
I can say that you won't believe me..
Karkat slowly approached them, noting they were older, taller definitely. Some of them had their entire bodies filled out.
You say you do, but you don't deceive me.
Karkat stopped, and stared at them. How long has it been for them to get this old? Three, four sweeps? Otherwise, for you humans, six or eight years?
It's hard to know they're out there.
A jade colored troll walked forward and knelt to hug him, squeezing him tightly, "I've Missed You, Karkat..." Slowly, all of the other colors surrounded him, a few crying, or laughing.
It's hard to know that you still care.
He forced a smile, trying his hardest to not be seen as quiet. Kanaya moved away for a Lioness to squish Karkat. "Karkitty!"
I can say it, but you won't believe me.
She moved away, and each in turn hugged the smaller troll. Karkat smiled at each of them, his own little smile.
You say you do, but you don't deceive me.
The soon, it was a yellow, dark purple, and teal left. The yellow approached first and spoke with his lisp, "2hiit, kk, you're really 2hort now." Karkat huffed, and tried to glare, but it came off as an awkward eye twitch. The psionic laughed, and hugged him quickly and tightly.
Dead hearts are everywhere.
The purple troll came up, towering over everyone. He got to his knees, and still stood higher than his morial. He hugged him, and Karkat hugged back. He papped him slightly, comforting his shaking shoulders. He held him firmly for another moment, but let go, standing up. "Good to motherfucking see you, brother."
Dead hearts are everywhere.
Finally, he stared up at the teal troll. She looked more sophisticated than before, but it was a good look on her. He had her smile on, and cackled. She walked to him, knelt, and kissed him. He stood shocked, but kissed her right before she pulled away.
Did you touch them, did you hold them, did they follow you to town?
Karkat covered his mouth and closed his eyes. They stung, liquid coming down the sides. He choked out something that was similar to words, but incomprehensible.
They make me feel I'm falling down, they make me feel I'm falling down.
When they started to ask what's wrong, Karkat started crying rapidly, his voice not capturing all of the words he tried to form. It hasn't been used in so many years. It just sounded like a bunch of jumbled words.
Was there one you saw too clearly, did they seem too real to you?
Karkat fell to his knees, gasping out, trying to scream out the words. A few tried to get him to calm down, but he wouldn't stop.
They were kids that I once knew, they were kids that I once knew.
He stood up, finally ticked off at himself for letting himself fall so low. To fall into desperation when he should have known they would have come to him. Or even tried to. He clenched his fists, and attempted to scream out the words he was trying to say.
I can say it, but you won't believe me. You say you do, but you don't deceive me. It's hard to know they're out there.
"I'M SO FUCKING SORRY FOR DYING!... I'M SORRY I LEFT YOU ALL TO FUCKING FIGHT LORD ENGLISH ALONE... WITHOUT A LEADER..I'M FUCKING SORRY I LET YOU ALL DOWN, AND...i'm just.. fucking sorry.." He started coughing, his throat in pain from screaming. It even drew Kankri out from his sleep, which was insanely hard. He stared at all of them, and saw Karkat crying. Porrim made sure he didn't go into the group and start babbling off about triggers. They probably didn't care to hear that right now.
It's hard to know that you still care. I can say it, but you won't believe me.
Kanaya sat next to Karkat, and put a hand on his shoulder. Gamzee sat next to him, and draped an arm around him. Terezi sat in front of him, trying to tell him it's okay. "K4RK4T, 1T'S 4LR1GHT-" He coughed and said, "NO IT'S NOT, DAMMIT, I FUCKING FAILED YOU ALL!"
You say you do, but you don't deceive me. Dead hearts are everywhere.
"I DIED, AND LEFT YOU ALL ALONE, LEFT YOU ALL TO SEE MY DAMN CORPSE ON THE GROUND. THE PROOF IS MY FUCKING EYES AND DAMNED VOICE!" He screeched it out, and sobbed it out. He shouldn't be crying in front of them. He was still their leader.. Right? He coughed again, but couldn't speak. He pushed his voice past it's limits.
They were kids that I once knew, but they are dead hearts to you...
They crowded closer to him, and hugged him. Trolls of all castes, having a group hug with a mutant in the middle. It sickened a few of the onlookers, but made a few smile, including Kankri. Karkat sat there, in their massive arms, being cooed to.
They grew up.. But Karkat's stuck in the past.. No voice to change it, and no life to make it better.
The only thing he had was the trolls that moved past him. They still cared, but things weren't the same.
Karkat was truly alone, despite his dearest friends surrounding him. He felt alone. He couldn't talk much, couldn't leave the bubbles to his knowledge, and they had left him behind.
He acted if he was okay now. He scowled at them the best he could, and only talked when things needed answers.
They left him. Left him on the desert, next to Jack Noir's body. Alone. Not even bothering to come check out his body. The dot he saw was them leaving.
Dead hearts are everywhere...
Karkat felt so alone. He has never hated his existence so much.