"Haha, I can't believe you did it, baby sis!" Alfred hooted, nearly slapping his knee in pure delight as Madeline clutched her burning cheeks between her hands. Beside her, Lovina snorted derisively, though her lips were quirking in a painfully-suppressed grin as she too found the entire situation very hilarious. The Canadian cast dirty glares at both of them, huffing her cheeks indignantly, glad to be back home. After the incident at Bottom's Up, Madeline had banged her head against the car window until the group agreed to go home.

"At least I did it!" she cried defensively, as the group again circled up on her living room floor. Gilbert had scooted close beside her, but she hardly noticed through her still ebbing embarrassment.

"Feli did her dare too, and she's a total wuss!" Lovina refuted, pinching her twin's cheek roughly much to the other's whiny protests. "She almost kissed that wurst-sucking Bastard! That's probably the worst dare ever!"

Madeline, angry that Lovina was making light of the most humiliating moment in her entire life, suddenly ceased glaring.

Kiss...dare...

Suddenly, an idea struck her. One so terribly, terribly cruel she could not help but cackle maniacally in her head. What? Just because she was a Canadian (generally a peaceful peoples) didn't mean she was against payback.

"Lovina~it's your turn!" the blonde cooed sweetly, earning a cocked eyebrow of surprise from her friend. Madeline's enthusiasm was suspicious.

"This is going to be muy interesante!" Antonio noted, grabbing onto Lovina's arm only to have an elbow jabbed promptly in his face with a small, "Chiigi!" to accompany.

"Give me my dare then, Maple Bitch." the Italian challenged, smirking up at her best friend after Antonio had released her arm.

"Desole, Antonio," the Canadian chuckled under her breath in French, earning a questioning look from Francis from across the circle. Sucking in a deep breath, she uttered the fatal dare.

"Lovina, I double dog dare you to..." Insert wicked grin here. "...kiss Alfred. The good ol' fashion French way."

Silence...and then the room was suddenly in an uproar. Alfred had done a literal spit take all over the carpet, his blue eyes wide in horror. He did not want his tongue ripped out and fed to Francis's pet bird Pierre anytime soon, and, knowing Lovina, that was exactly what she'd do if his lips came within a foot of her face. Gilbert had fallen onto his back in a fit of cackles while Francis muttered some crap about, "So much l'amour in one night!" and "Big Brother is so proud!" Alice had promptly stood up, turned on her heel, and marched from the room, claiming she did not want to be a witness to Alfred's (and quite possibly Madeline's) maiming that particular night. Feliciana clapped happily, ve'ing as though a French kiss was completely PG while her twin turned so many indignant shades of red the warmth practically radiated throughout the room. Lovina's eyes darted from Madeline's smug grin of victory to Alfred's terrified visage frantically. Back and forth, back and forth...

And then there was Antonio.

His eyes were narrowed and the left side of his mouth was pulled up into a snarl. He subconsciously inched closer to his crush and gnashed his canines in jealous agitation. Lovina was stock still beside him, contemplating what the hell to do. She did not want to lose her first kiss to Alfred Fucking Jones. No way in hell!

Not to sound like a total pansy ass, but she'd always wanted her first kiss to be with someone...special? Or at least someone who wasn't Alfred. The thought of how many hamburgers he probably crammed down that day almost made Lovina gag.

"...and if I say no?" she finally gritted out at Madeline, knowing that either way she was royally and utterly screwed. Damn pancake-sucking bitch.

The blonde grinned impishly, a trait she had inherited from her annoying brother. "Streak. Down the street." she practically purred, the French side of her rearing its sensual head.

Lovina paused, her heart having a damn-near fiesta in her chest. Kiss Alfred or streak in the dark? Kiss Alfred or streak in the dark...Kiss Alfred or...She glanced up at Alfred and shuddered. Madeline would never let her live it down; she'd probably call her "sister-in-law" until fucking graduation.

The Italian stood much to Antonio's severe anxiety. He hadn't known Lovina long and perhaps it was his possessive personality speaking, but Alfred would be losing his lower jaw if a kiss did transpire.

Lovina turned to Alfred, twisting her mouth in contemplation. The poor kid was as white as bedsheet, his Nantucket quivering in small spasms of fear. She glanced at the door, then back at Alfred. She finally ducked her head, mortified. Rather than lunge for the American's lips like the group was expecting, however, Lovina immediately took off for the door.

Everyone paused for a moment, wondering what had just happened. And then they simultaneously scrambled to their feet and rushed after Lovina out onto the front lawn.

"Oh my God-"

"She isn't!"

"Holy mother fucking hell, this is the best night of my awesome life!"

"Ohonhonhon~!"

There was Lovina, hurriedly yanking off her shirt and pants and discarding them in the yard. In the dark, the group could faintly make out a bright red bra with green straps (kind of resembling two tomatoes) and an Italian thong.

"Stop f-fucking loking at me, b-bastards!" she screeched as her friends stared, open-mouthed. Lovina Vargas-the girl who could make Urban Dictionary blush with her profanities-was about to streak down the street. Nude.

Holy shit.

"Take off the bra or the underwear! One or the other!" someone called, receiving a flustered, "Shut the fuck up!" as Lovina hesitantly unlatched her bra and discarded it to the side. Quickly slapping one arm over her chest before anyone could see, the Italian glanced nervously at the group behind her, squeaked in fear, and made a mad Italian dash down the street. Without a moment's hesitation, Antonio, the giddy bastard, was chasing after her.

"Lovi~!" he exhaled, easily catching up and jogging at a steady pace by her side. She glanced at him and squawked, running faster than before as she attempted to escape the Spaniard sprinting in hot pursuit behind her. Unfortunately, the whole running faster thing only made certain parts of her anatomy bounce more than any sane man could bear. From the group still parked on the Jones-Williams lawn, she could hear that idiot Alfred shout, "Run, Forrest, run!"

"G-get away from me, f-fucker! Oh, dio, I am out of fuckng shape!" came the frantic cry.

"But I can't just let my Lovi run naked around the neighborhood! You might get picked up by some rapists!" Antonio replied happily.

Unfortunately, another diadvantage of running really fast while trying to cover your bare ass and bouncing breasts was that you occassionally lost balance. And then you occassionally tripped. And then you occassionally found yourself face first on the concrete, darriere in the air with a perverted Spaniard seizing the opportunity to crouch down beside you, grinning pervertedly. Occasionally.

As Lovina grabbed at her face, which had suffered most of the impact seeing as her arms were far too occupied shielding her body to provide any cushion, she completely forgot that she had no bra on. When she saw Antonio crouched beside her, she immediately scampered to her feet only to fall back down again.

"Mother of ass-fucking shit bitches!" she screeched, grabbing her face and ankle-an ankle that was most likely twisted.

God must really freaking hate her. And she'd only run to the end of the street, too (Lovina was hoping to run all the way home and never show her face in public again).

"Lovi, are you okay?" Antonio asked, unable to stop the grin from inching onto his devilish face despite the worried edge to his voice. He tried to keep his eyes at an appropriate level, but they kept slipping down to the chest so completely bared in front of him. The Italian, glancing at Antonio between her fingers while gritting her teeth in both agitation and pain, followed his line of sight.

"CHIGII! Keep your eyes on my face, bastardo!" she screeched, both hands flying to her chest again. Once her face was revealed, Antonio noticed a jagged cut across her forehead.

"Ay, Lovi, you're hurt!" he gasped, reaching for her only to have his hand shooed away. "We have to get you back to the house!"

"Well, no shit, Sherlock," the Italian griped irrately, trying to stand again. Yet again, her ankle dipped sideways beneath her body weight. This time when she fell, however, Antonio scooped her up like a bride and started marching back down the street.

"W-whoa, whoa, whoa, motherfucker! Let go of m-m-me!"

"Ahhh, no can do, mi tomatita!" Antonio piped, grinning happily at his near-naked crush curled up in his arms.

"I SAID LET GO!"

"Lo sien-ow! Lovi, you should no better than to hit a man there!"

"What man? I see no man here."

"But I am a man! I have the parts to prove it!"

"Stupid bastard, I don't want to hear about your p-parts!"

On the lawn, the coterie of teenagers could clearly hear the loud curses. When they saw Antonio carrying a less-than-happy Lovina, the rest of the group whooped enthusiastically, cheering on an oblivious Spaniard who beamed as if he was carrying a princess rather than a supine auburnette with a fowl temperament.

Lovina would have buried her burning face in her hands, but she was too busy covering her chest and spewing out profanities to bother. She saw Alfred snap a photo with a cell, and Francis leer like some goddamn predator.

Things could not get any worse.

But, seeing as God loved to embarrass Italian girls, a sleek Corvette approached the group at that very moment. This wouldn't have been so bad had the car not swerved to a halt, its front door flying open with unnatural strength.

"Lovina!" a voice suddenly called, stopping the group cold.

"Che cosa sta succedendo?" ("What is going on?") shouted Romulus as he gaped at the scene before him. AKA: A Mexican was trying to rape his granddaughter!

The half-naked Italian squealed. Though she'd never fucking admit that to anyone. Ever.

"N-Nonno! This-this isn't...what are you doing here?" she screeched, while urging the tomato bastard to put her down immediately. Antonio lowered her to the ground, looking exceedingly guilty as the auburnette staggered on her bad ankle, clearly unsure of what to say next. Finally, before her grandfather could utter a word, she turned and made a dash for the front door, completely mortified and noticeably limping. Feliciana scampered behind as she too tried to escape the wide-eyed gape of her grandfather. With the Italian twins gone, an awkward silence settled over the lawn.

"I-I'm just going to give, uh, Lovina her c-clothes..." Madeline muttered, excusing herself with a small, "Maple," as she scooped up the garments and dashed into the open door.

Romulus stared at the empty spaces for a moment, opening his mouth in confusion a few times before whipping his head towards Antonio. The forced smile he donned then seemed almost murderous when accompanied by the fierce gleam in his eyes.

"So, young man, care to explain why my sweet little Lovina was naked and limping?" the older man bit out forcefully, that tight smile never leaving his youthful face.

He cracked his knuckles. The Spaniard gulped.

And that, my dear readers, is how Antonio Carriedo died.

Haha, just joking. But that is how he received a wicked shiner that he would later blame on a 100 mph soccer ball.

-line-

Madeline closed the door behind her and had half a mind to lock it. She breathed a sigh of relief, jumping out of her skin when Alice cleared her throat from the hall.

"So, uh, I just saw Lovina limp upstairs naked, ranting about her grandfather...care to explain what the devil just happened?"

The Canadian dragged a hand across her face in exasperation.

"Oh, you know, the usual. Lovina is cussing, and a boy is involved." she replied, marching up the stairs with Alice in hot pursuit. The two reached Maddie's bedroom only to find Lovina buried beneath the scarlet bed comforter and Feliciana peering out the window, fingers tapping the sill nervously.

"Ve," the visible Italian muttered in dismay. "I hope Nonno isn't too angry..." Her usually erratic curl was drooping in worry, because if there was one thing she feared most it was her grandfather's disapproval.

Suddenly, she gasped, hand flying from the sill to her mouth.

"Nonno-Nonno just punched Antonio!" she exclaimed, causing her sister to harumph in satisfaction.

"That pervy bastard deserved it!"

"You don't really mean that, Sorella."

"Of course I mean it! When I say something, I fucking mean it!"

"Is he alright?" Madeline piped up then, perching herself on the bed while trying to coax out her nude best friend with the prospect of clothing.

"Yes, Gilbert's helping him up, and it looks like Big Brother Francis is explaining the situation to Nonno."

"Oh, Lord." Alice muttered, hitting her head against the bedpost.

Romulus let out a booming laugh by the end of Francis's rather exuberant explanation (which involved an elaborate series of questionable hand gestures and "honhonhon"'s). He patted the blonde's back heartily and seemed to apologize to Antonio.

"Had I known you were only helping my granddaughter, I wouldn't have punched you so hard!" he bellowed loud enough for the girls upstairs to hear.

Lovina popped her head out from under the sheets and snorted.

"Leave it to Nonno to trust a molesting Frenchman. Now give me my clothes, Maple Bitch, because any second he'll be barging in demanding the Tomato Bastard's home address."

"I thought he just apologized for hurting Antonio?" Madeline questioned, eyebrows furrowed as to why Romulus would need Antonio's address.

"Psh, Italians make you feel secure. Then they sic the Mafia on your ass."

-line-

"So, er, how's your ankle, Lovi?" Antonio asked from the other end of the couch, Madeline and Feli squished uncomfortably between them ("I want at least two people between me and that groping bastard at all times!"). Romulus had gone home after assuring that it was all a friendly game of Double Dog and the Jones-William parents would be home soon.

Antonio's question was promptly answered with a pillow to the face.

"Kesesese, come on, Lovina! It was hilarious, and you know it!" Gilbert cackled, relaxing in an armchair that he had hogged all for himself once he realized he couldn't sit beside Madeline. He received a vicious glare and a face full of foot (the good, not twisted foot, mind you) to which Alfred snickered.

"Well, what if your grandfather had caught you naked in that bastard's arms?" the Italian snapped, arms folding tightly across her chest. To hell with hilarity, she had been molested!

"Eh, that'd be a typical Saturday night really." Gilbert muttered honestly, shrugging slightly.

The group chose not to comment on that.

"So what is next on our agenda?" Francis grinned, leaning forward from his seat beside an irritated looking Alice. She had visibly bristled when he settled down beside her on the floor, but the fact that Alfred was on her other side had kept her grounded.

"Well, I don't know what you guys are doing, but us girls had this sleepover for a reason," Madeline spoke, pushing onto her feet and helping Felciiana heave Lovina into a standing position.

"Oh?"

"Yes, we have a gig coming up, and we have to have at least seven songs down, ve! So that means practice, practice, practice!" Felician responded as the female coterie made for the Jones-Williams garage where a satisfactory set of instruments awaited, though none nearly as impressive as those in the Vargas' household.

"Would you care for an audience, mademoiselles?"

"Go choke on a snail, Frog."

"Uh, no thank you, eh."

"Kesese, you heard Birdie! Let's go listen!" a certain albino called obnoxiously, ignoring the Canadian glare directed at him.

"Er...fine, whatever. But you guys better be quiet!"

Antonio clapped enthusiastically in a way that eerily reminded the group of Feliciana (Sweet Lord, let there not be two!) as the group filled up the mdeium-sized garage, Lovina reaching for the mic.

"Ah, I love it when Lovi sings!" the Spaniard cheered, settling down on a pool table next to Gilbert.

"Be QUIET, asshole!" she bit, face already turning slightly pink. "And Maddie, please tell me we're not doing-"

"Call Me Maybe? Sorry, but that song needs the most work. You need to add more emotion."

"Yeah, be happier when you sing that song, Sorella! Not so grumpy!"

"But that song is so...so...girly! Why can't Feli sing it?" the auburnette protested, pouting. "Why are we singing it at all?"

"Because the crowd loves it. And I hate it as much as you do, trust me, but we have to appeal to all members of the audience, even the girly ones." Alice said informatively, as Feliciana nodded enthusiastically.

"Plus, you're the one who wrote it, Sorella! Remember, you wrote it in eighth grade for Be-!" the younger Vargas commented only to have Lovina's hand cover her mouth. The audience, namely Antonio, looked extremely curious as to who the song was for.

"That's enough, Feli! L-let's just get the damn song over with already! And I'll add fucking emotion if I want to add emotion, bitches!"

[A/N: Haha, the song is Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen. It's catchy goddammit!]

"I threw a wish in the well,
Don't ask me, I'll never tell,
I looked to you as it fell, and now you're in my way .
I trade my soul for a wish,
pennies and dimes for a kiss.
I wasn't looking for this, but now you're in my way.
Your stare was holdin',
Ripped jeans, skin was showin',
Hot night, wind was blowin',
Where you think you're going, baby?
Hey, I just met you,
and this is crazy,
but here's my number,
so call me, maybe?
It's hard to look right,
at you baby,
but here's my number,
so call me, maybe?
Hey, I just met you,
and this is crazy,
but here's my number,
so call me, maybe?
And all the other boys,
try to chase me,
but here's my number,
so call me, maybe?
You took your time with the call,
I took no time with the fall.
You gave me nothing at all,
but still you're in my way
I beg, and borrow and steal
At first sight and it's real
I didn't know I would feel it, but it's in my way
Your stare was holdin',
Ripped jeans, skin was showin',
Hot night, wind was blowin',
Where you think you're going, baby?
Hey, I just met you,
and this is crazy,
but here's my number,
so call me, maybe?
It's hard to look right,
at you baby,
but here's my number,
so call me, maybe?
Hey, I just met you,
and this is crazy,
but here's my number,
so call me, maybe?
And all the other boys,
try to chase me,
but here's my number,
so call me, maybe?
Before you came into my life I missed you so bad, I missed you so bad, I missed you so, so bad
Before you came into my life I missed you so bad,
And you should know that
I missed you so, so bad
It's hard to look right,
at you baby,
but here's my number,
so call me, maybe?
Hey, I just met you,
and this is crazy,
but here's my number,
so call me, maybe?
And all the other boys,
try to chase me,
but here's my number,
so call me, maybe?
Before you came into my life I missed you so bad, I missed you so bad, I missed you so, so bad
Before you came into my life I missed you so bad,
And you should know that
So call me, maybe?"

"Ah, much better, Lovina!" Madeline approved happily, while the garage burst into applaud.

"That was awesome! And I don't use that word lightly!"

"Dude, that was friggin' sweet!"

"Ay, it was very good, but..." Antonio started, his eyes not as cheery as they should be.

"But what?" Lovina demanded, hands on her hips as she leaned off of her bum ankle. The hell? Antonio didn't like her voice or something?

"It was good, but...who exactly did you write that for?"