This is it! The epilogue. I never thought I'd be able to finish this, but you guys have kept me going. Thank you so much for all the support, reviews, favorites, and follows this story has gotten. You are all amazing for sticking with this for so long, and I really appreciate it. This was my first multi-chaptered story, and it's been an awesome experience because of all of you. I hope you all liked it.

CHAPTER WARNINGS: slash, mentions of abuse and death, language

Snape glanced up from the stacks of essays on his desk when he heard a knock on the door.

"Come in," he called, dropping his gaze back down to the essays he had to finish grading before the Christmas holidays came to an end.

The door was pushed open to reveal Remus Lupin standing in the doorway, his arms laden with a stack of heavy texts. He smiled absentmindedly and stepped into Snape's office, pulling the door shut behind him with his foot and shaking his head to get his thick, golden hair out of his eyes.

"Hi, Severus, Dumbledore asked me to drop these off on my way out," Remus placed the stack of books on the edge of Snape's desk. He stepped back and dug his hands into his pockets. He was wearing Muggle clothing, Snape noted. He was one of the only wizards Snape knew who wore Muggle clothes instead of robes; he suspected it had something to do with how Remus had been raised.

Not that he could complain, a voice in the back of Snape's mind commented cruelly as his eyes flickered down Remus's slim frame.

"You're staring," Remus said softly, a sad smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Snape fought the blush threatening to rise in his pale cheeks and looked up to glare severely at Remus. "I was simply impressed by the fact that it sees your wardrobe had gotten even shabbier. Black can't support you as well as you'd figured?"

"Sirius and I get along fine," Remus replied mildly, cocking an eyebrow at Snape. He wasn't oblivious. He'd known how Snape felt about him for a long time. He felt horrible about it; he'd never wanted to lead Severus on. He'd felt bad for him in school, because of the brutal bullying Severus endured, and he'd tried to be kind. Severus had taken it the wrong way.

Remus had figured he'd gotten over it, but judging by the way Snape's eyes had lingered on him for a moment too long, he hadn't.

Remus took a deep breath and leaned forward, bracing his hands on Snape's desk and meeting his dark, unreadable gaze. "Thank you. For putting that ring in my pocket that day. I would have died without you doing that."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Snape muttered, not looking away from Remus's bright hazel eyes. Snape had always been mildly fascinated with Remus's eyes. When he looked closely, he could see flecks of gold in the hazel that hinted at Remus's condition. His eyes were gorgeous, and seemed to pierce right through a person, but they were definitely not completely human.

Remus pursed his lips and nodded shortly. He ducked his head for a moment, allowing his hair to fall in front of his wide eyes. After a moment, he spoke softly. "You don't have to keep up a front, Severus. I know it was you, and I know why you did it."

"Do you?" Snape demanded severely, his heart clenching at the thought.

"You let your old feelings for me get in the way," Remus replied evenly, not looking up from the desk. His fingers tightened around the edge. "You used to—"

Snape snorted derisively, cutting Remus off before he could finish his thought. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Then explain it to me," Remus's voice held a challenge, and Snape felt the familiar rush of irritation, admiration, frustration, and respect in his chest. "You used to think—"

"There is no used to," Snape cut him off shortly, speaking quickly and softly, his voice devoid of emotion. "I still feel the same way now. If you wanted to leave Black and be with me, I wouldn't hesitate to say yes. It has been years and years and years, and I can't seem to get rid of this. It disgusts me, that you have this hold over me when you're not even human, when you barely even notice me. I did what your brother asked me because I wanted to protect you. Are you happy? Does it make you happy that you're the reason I'm so miserable? You're the reason I haven't moved on with my life?"

"Severus…" Remus muttered, glancing away and straightening up. He dug his hands into his pockets. "You don't—"

"You never looked at me twice," Snape ignored him, caught up in the feeling that had been brewing in his chest since school as they came pouring out of him. "All I wanted was for you to approve of me. I would be so close to giving up on you, and then all of a sudden you would help me with homework, or stop the others from picking on me, or help me pick up my books when they were knocked out of my arms. And I kept falling back in lo—I went right back to where I started."

"You and Black…I can't begrudge you happiness. God knows you deserve something good in your life after the hell you've been through. I only wish…I wanted you to…you never even gave me a chance."

Remus frowned and opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off when Snape's lips were suddenly covering his own. He blinked, stunned, and drew back once he had processed what was going on. He took a step back from the desk and regarded Severus with a mixture of shock and apology in his eyes. "Severus, don't. Don't. I have a mate, and I love him. I'm sorry. I can't choose who I fall in love with."

Snape set his jaw and raised an eyebrow. His lips tingled where they had been pressed to Remus's slightly chapped, soft and warm mouth. "Why him? You could have anyone else; why him?"

Remus shrugged and smiled apologetically. "He's my best friend. He's everything I need. More than I need. More than I deserve. I wouldn't…I wouldn't trade him for anything."

Snape nodded, accepting the answer. He sank back into his chair and picked up his quill. "That's sickening."

Remus shrugged and ran a hand through his hair, watching Snape cautiously, concerned. Snape felt Remus's eyes on him and glanced up, irritated and slightly embarrassed. "What?"

"Nothing," Remus shook his head and stepped back towards the door. "I have to get going. I'll see you soon, I suppose."

"Unfortunately," Snape snarled, clenching the pen tightly in his hand.

Remus let out a long breath, unsure of what to do. As bad as he felt and as positive as he was that Snape wouldn't hurt him, he really wasn't comfortable staying there alone with a man who had such an obvious interest in him; it had always made him uncomfortable, to be looked at like that by anyone. He opened the door and stepped out into the hall. He cleared his throat and softly said, "Goodbye, Severus."

He shut the door behind him, leaving Snape alone in the small, dimly lit room.

Snape stared down at the papers on his desk, trying to focus on something besides the memory of Remus's lips sealed with his, of the utter emptiness in his chest from the rejection. He understood that Remus wasn't really at fault here; he was right, he couldn't make himself fall in love with Snape anymore than he could make himself fall out of love with Sirius.

A small, wet drop appeared on the top paper of the stack, smudging the ink slightly. It took him a few moments to realize that it was a tear that had dripped off the end of his nose. It was soon followed by a few more drops, and he leaned back in his chair so they wouldn't wreck the essay. He rubbed his cheeks, feeling ashamed and pathetic when they cam away wet, but he couldn't find it in himself to stop them.

If crying was what it took to move on from Remus Lupin, then, damn it, he wasn't going to stop himself.

Sirius glanced up from the papers on his lap when he heard the kitchen door open and close. Remus locked it behind him and made his way to the table before plopping down into the chair across from Sirius.

Sirius nodded in greeting, returning his gaze to the papers in front of him. "Hi, love. How'd talking with Dumbledore go?"

After a few moments, Sirius still hadn't gotten a response. He looked up, concerned. Since that night almost two months ago, Remus had been phasing in and out, getting deeply lost in thought periodically. Sirius could call him back with a gentle touch or a few words, but it worried him slightly. When they were in school, Remus had done the same thing, but it hadn't happened as often after Remus had left home. His nightmares were slowly growing less and less frequent, and Sirius could tell he was trying to accept Romulus's death and move on; he needed to live his own life again, and he refused to let his brother take that away from him.

"Remus," Sirius called his name, trying to draw him back to the present.

Remus blinked at the floor and ran a shaking hand through his hair, not looking up at Sirius. "Severus kissed me."

That hadn't been what Sirius was expecting. He was speechless for a few moments before he managed to choke out his words. "Like…like did he..? God, Remus if he made you do anything you didn't want, I will fucking kill him…"

Remus shook his head quickly, seeing where Sirius was going with his question. He bowed his head and looked down at his hands. "No. No. He just kissed me; that was it. It's okay, it's alright. I'm sorry."

"You didn't kiss him," Sirius shrugged, watching Remus closely. Remus met his gaze and sucked on his bottom lip, nodding in agreement, but still looking troubled.

"I didn't expect it," Remus replied slowly. "It was…it was rather unpleasant."

"See, that's what I want to hear," Sirius grinned warmly, reaching over the table to grip Remus's hands tightly. "Of course, I'm sure I'm hard to follow."

Remus rolled his eyes and an honest, small smile curled the corners of his lips upwards. He squeezed Sirius's hands where their fingers were entwined. "Of course. He never stood a chance."

Remus smiled dimmed for a moment and he pulled his hands away to fiddle with the hem of his shirt. "He saved my life. He's…I mean, he said that since school…"

"You can't tell me you didn't know that," Sirius snorted, setting his papers aside and leaning forward with his elbows on the table. "I've never liked the way he looks at you." Sirius pursed his lips when Remus didn't respond. "You can't make everyone happy, Remus. You'll kill yourself trying to do that. He'll get over it."

Remus shrugged one shoulder in agreement. "You're right. I know you're right. Anyway, I would never…I could never leave…" He bit his lip, struggling to articulate his thoughts, but having a hard time finding the words.

Sirius smiled and rose to his feet, moving around the table to press his lips to Remus's. Remus finally relaxed a little bit when Sirius tugged him to his feet to wrap his arms around Remus's slim waist. Remus kissed him back, sliding his hands into the hair at the nape of Sirius's neck and twisting the dark locks between his fingers to pull Sirius closer. Sirius smiled against Remus's lips when he felt Remus tug him closer. "I love you, too."

There we go! Kind of short, but hopefully a little uplifting, tied up some loose ends. Even I didn't see the thing with Snape coming until it happened, and I sort of like it, so I decided to keep it in there.

Let me know what you thought, about the epilogue, or about the entire thing. I appreciate people taking time to drop me a review, I love getting them, so feel free:)

Thanks for reading!