I am sorry to say I don't have enough time to do individual response today. Too much to do. But I had to give you guys something! So here it is. Not exactly what I wanted but better than nothing. It's another RanKen chap, sorry. :( But it had to be done. So read, enjoy, review ad I'll see what I can do when I get back from holiday!

v – v – v – v – v -

"Have you been here the whole time?" Ran was startled out of the book he was reading. Either he was thoroughly engrossed or Ken was a lot quieter than he expected. All the same, it surprised him to find the brunette leaning on the back of the couch beside him.

"Yes, I wanted to make sure you settled in alright."

"Thanks." Ken smiled lightly. "So, whatcha reading?"

"Nothing specific. Just a collection of various works."

"More poetry?"

"No actually. It's Sci-Fi." He commented hesitantly, feeling a little embarrassed by the genre. "It's not my usual subject of choice, I just grabbed the first book off the shelf."

"It's ok, you know. I like some sci-fi too. As long as you're not a Trekkie or anything. I could handle if you were a Star Wars fan but please don't tell me you know how to swear in Klingon, Romulan and Vulcan." He rattled off the only three alien species he could remember and hoped they were all from Star Trek.

Ran closed his book and looked directly at the brunette. He then emitted a guttural sound that made those blue-green eyes go wide. After a moment, the redhead could no longer suppress the smirk that wanted to surface. Ken noticed the smile emerge and it dawned on him what had happened. In the same instant both men burst out laughing.

Ran just basked in the brightness of Ken's smile. He had mostly seen it in pictures and so he wanted to relish this moment where he can experience it firsthand. It was much more radiant and beautiful in real life than he imagined. And over the past few days, the brunette has not had much to truly smile at, and the fact it was him who put it there made it even better.

At last, Ken merrily said, "Oh man, don't scare me like that. For a second there I thought you were serious."

"Well, you needn't worry. I don't really buy into any of those shows. So you're safe from alien languages."

"Good, I don't need to learn anymore."

The offhanded comment had him asking before he could stop himself, "How many languages do you know?"

"Obviously Japanese. But I'm also fluent in English. As part of J-league I had to have a basic knowledge of Spanish, German and Portuguese. All right, so I didn't have to, but it sure made things easier. We did a number of Exhibition matches in Europe during our off season. I can understand some Chinese and Russian but I can't speak it worth a damn."

Ran sat totally dumbfounded, managing to mutter, "I had no idea."

Shrugging, Ken didn't think too much of it, "Well, it's not something people talk about often. I kinda figured when I retired from playing I would try and get into FIFA. Be on some sort of committee. And knowing a lot of languages would help with rule negotiations and setting up matches. I would love to help out with coordinating the World Cup events. That would be totally awesome." A playful light sparkled in blue-green seas.

"So why don't you?" Knowing the young man's current predicament had him wondering aloud.

"I'm too young. And I still want to play. I refuse to give up. I have to get back in the League." Ken's voice grew darker as he spoke and his smile molded into a tight frown. Ran already hated it when Ken went into his own thoughts and seemed to block everyone else around him out.

"I'll do what ever I can to help. I said we could get a second opinion if you wanted and we still can. But don't push yourself too hard and too fast." Gently cautioning he watched as Ken scowled, but it was directed inward not at him. It was that look of steely determination that he had come to recognize as Ken's 'I will do it or die trying' look. And over the past few days at the hospital the brunette had exhausted himself at therapy. Ken had made significant progress but it had been a slow process, one Ken was not pleased with at all. Ran noticed the change in his demeanor and knew that if he let the brunette brood he may end up having another attack. Quickly, he decided to change topics. "So, you hungry?"

Startled by the offer, Ken blinked at his companion. "Uh, yeah actually. May as well go see what Omi stocked for us, ne?" He made his way over to the kitchenette and started opening cabinets. "That kid's amazing. He's got everything you could ever want in here. How does Ramen sound to you?"

"Fine." Ran got up from the couch and followed Ken into the tiny kitchen. "Would you like me to make it?" He decided to ask rather than strongly suggest. He knew Ken would want to start doing things on his own again and he really did need to pull back, if only slightly.

Ken countered, "How 'bout I start and you finish? That way I can start unpacking those boxes." He jerked his head in the direction of the boxes that were brought from the storage center. He had already rummaged around for a pot and was filling it with water.

Ran agreed. "I think that's fair. Do you want any help with unpacking?"

"Naw, I don't really have that much anyway." Finished getting the water ready, Ken headed for his stuff. Ran continued to look around the kitchen finding bowls and everything else they would need to eat. Meanwhile, Ken opened the top box. All he found was a bunch of his clothes. At least now he could change. His scarlet tressed guardian had loaned him some so he could leave the hospital, but they were a bit big on him. Not that he totally minded considering most of his loungewear was too big for him.

Carefully, he moved the box from the top and placed it next to the pile intending to take it to his bedroom later. He opened the second box and smiled. It was filled with his CD's and Videotapes and DVD's. "Hey! I've got all my games here." He heard a soft 'Hn' from somewhere behind him. "I hope my stereo is somewhere in here, I'd love to listen to my music while I was going through this stuff."

"If not, I'm sure we could get you one."

"That's ok." Ken didn't really expect it to be here anyway, Kase had always loved the stereo system and doubted the man would have parted with it. He frowned at the thought of his best friend but quickly pushed it back. He didn't want to feel anger right now. The box was heavier than he thought as he pushed it over to place it on top of the other one. The next one contained a lot of his knick-knacks so to speak. A number of various trophies he received in lower soccer divisions. Also there were a number of picture frames, which he pulled out to see what was in them.

A multitude of familiar faces stared up at him brightly. It was the Championship photo that was taken when they won last year. Next was a formal family portrait that was taken five years ago. Everyone looked so young and innocent. He sighed deeply. After that he found a picture of Kase and him goofing around on the field. He couldn't help but smile at the captured memory, it was taken shortly after they joined the J-league.

Another picture that had him and his dad kicking a ball around at a picnic peeked out from behind it. It was also taken just after he was accepted to the J-league, and was one of his fondest memories with his father. They had been having some trouble for a while and his father had asked him why he liked soccer so much. Instead of trying to put it in words, Ken showed him. They had a blast. Too bad the peace between them couldn't last. Sadly, his eyes scanned the image once more then fell on another figure watching in the background. He felt his heart skip a beat.

He noticed his hands shaking and tried to still them by hugging himself. It didn't seem to make a difference for soon his whole body was trembling. A wash of fear and shame splashed over him. What's happening to me? How can one person effect me so? He couldn't even recall the name. It was just someone he had seen a few times when he helped his dad. So why was he so scared? He couldn't look at that face anymore and tightly clenched his eyes, as he tasted the bile in the back of his throat.

This was vastly different from his other attacks, though they had similar symptoms they just felt different. His reaction wasn't as consuming as the others and the pain in his head wasn't there. But why this man? This stranger? And why did his skin crawl just thinking about it? Totally unaware of the soft whimper he made, Ken was pulled back to reality by a hand clasping his shoulder. Instinctively, he shrugged away from it.

"Ken? What is it?"

He knew that voice. Soothing, concerned, a gentle timbre that could calm him with one word. After much effort, he managed to relax and form a single request. "close it."

"What?"

"the box, close it."

Automatically Ran folded over the flaps of the box, sealing the contents inside. "It's closed. Are you ok?"

Swallowing hard, he just nodded his reply; eyes still closed afraid to see that face that seemed to haunt him. Ken had to get his mind off of it and asked the first thing that popped into his head, "Is the ramen ready?"

"Yeah." Ran answered absently, he was still completely baffled by what just transpired. Even he could tell that this wasn't a normal panic attack but something had definitely upset the brunette. "Sit down. I'll bring it out." He instructed giving the younger boy something new to focus on.

Still holding himself, Ken slowly made his way over to the couch. But instead of sitting on it, he slid down in front of it, nestled between the sofa and the little coffee table. Ran watched the measured movements while he brought out the noodles. Ken looked like a lost kitten at the moment - unsure, weary and tense. He had no idea what could have caused the drastic change in his companion, and he feared it would be a long while before he ever did. "Here." He placed one bowl in front of the brunette.

Ken eyed it for a moment before reaching out and taking it. For a while, all he did was stir it around. Ran kept vigil out of the corner of his eye until he couldn't take it anymore. "Ken, are you no longer hungry?"

Flinching slightly, he shook his head. "That's not it."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

Sighing, Ken put down the bowl. "That's just it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why I reacted like that. I just feel so stupid."

"Don't feel that way. There are just too many questions, too many scenarios, too many ifs out there. And even if you had all of your memories, to know all the answers and expect all the reactions to those answers would mean that you were some sort of super being. But you're not Ken. None of us are. We can only make do with what we're given. You just need a little time and then everything will start working out."

"How can you say that when the future's so uncertain?" The brunette demanded, feeling so unsure compared to the amethyst-eyed man's confidence. "What if my memory never returns? What if I have to live like this forever?"

Calmly, Ran locked gazes with the younger man and held it to ensure his words were understood and accepted. "Then we'll face that future when we come to it, together."

They sat for a few minutes in a comfortable silence. In a voice so soft, Ken asked, "Will you stay here tonight? Or go to your own room?"

"I'll do whatever you want me to."

Milky sapphire's dropped to the floor. "Part of me says that I'm a big boy. I should be able to sleep without someone watching over me. But the thought of being by myself when any moment I…." He brushed away the thoughts of another panic attack and swallowed. "It terrifies me," he finally admitted aloud.

There was a brief pause before that deep cadence answered, "Then I'll stay."

Startled by the man's easy acceptance of his weakness, Ken tried to dissuade, "You shouldn't have to. You're only next door, right?"

Scarlet bangs swayed over pale skin. "But with how quickly they can come on, it would still be too far away to leave you alone at the moment. I'll stay." He said firmly, leaving no room for further argument. It seemed Ken understood this too.

"Thank you."

"So, are you feeling any better now?"

"Yeah."

"Good. I suggest you try and eat some before it gets cold." Ken obediently picked the bowl back up and began scooping up some noodles.

After they finished their snack, the pair ended up talking for a while only to be interrupted later that evening when Omi stopped by. He arrived with food and entertainment. Yoji also showed up briefly before heading out on a date. The remaining three ate and laughed at the comedy Omi brought with him. They chatted for a bit before Ran decided they should call it an night. Tomorrow morning Ran had practice and Omi had to open the shop. Omi left and the redhead stood up stretching. He started reaching for the remains of their meal when Ken spoke. "I can do that."

"I know you can. I guess it's just starting to become habit."

"Well, I think we should break the habit before I get used to it." Ken looked pointedly at his guardian, yet there was a huge grin on his face.

"Alright. While you're picking up, I'm going to get some things from my apartment for the night." Ran had moved in to the little flat next door only a couple days after the offer had been accepted. The flowershop was a bit closer than his old place and he had no attachment there so it was very easy to move. He was already quite comfortable there.

Ken felt a quick stab of fear pass through him. Hesitantly, he asked, "You won't be long, will you?" Gods, I even sound pathetic to myself! Ken frowned realizing how foolish he sounded. A gentle touch on his shoulder had him looking back up into clear violet eyes. And suddenly he couldn't breathe.

"I know what I want so it should only take me a few minutes. Do you want me to wait and we could go together?"

Yes! Ken desperately wanted to scream. He hadn't thought about being alone before because while he was in the hospital there was always someone around. All he had to do was call out or hit a button. But since earlier that afternoon, after he woke from his nap, it had been at the back of his mind. From now on, when he was alone, he would really be alone. No Kase, No Ran, No one. And as much as he hated to admit it, it was the most frightening thought he had ever had in his life.

But he was a man. And he still had his pride. He couldn't yet bring himself to play the part of 'damsel in distress.' So clearing his throat and smiling with false bravado, he said, "No, go on. I'll wait here and clean up. Besides, I'm going to have to dig out my nightclothes too."

Ran didn't buy it, but neither did he press the issue. Nodding, he turned to go. He knew Ken would have trouble with adjusting to a place of his own. He knew how hard it was for him to do it after that night months ago, so he knew how Ken felt. But Ken would have to adjust and cope with the change. They had to. Besides, it really would only take him a couple of minutes. Ken should be able to deal for that long. After all, he was going to have to deal with longer tomorrow.

It's just that daytime was different. During the light of day, it was easier to pretend that everything was fine. That the world was the same it has always been despite the twists and turns life through at you. But at night, when one was left to their thoughts, reality always found a way to hit home, enhancing the fears and nightmares lurked in the shadows. Remembering nightmares that had gripped the brunette not too long ago, Ran hesitated at the door. He turned back to look at Ken, now picking up the empty dishes. "You sure you'll be ok?"

"Sure. I'll be fine. Now get going, k?" Ken's smile seemed more sincere this time. Both relieved and encouraged, the redhead hurried out.

Ken watched him go from the corner of his eye. Cinnamon lashes dropped and he took a deep breath. This is ridiculous! You're a grown man, for Gods' sake. You've been alone before, you can do this. What? You gonna let some stupid accident that you can't even remember stop you? A voice in his head chided him. Angrily, he snapped back. No, of course not! I'm not a baby! The voice agreed, Exactly! So stop acting like one. Filled with renewed determination, Ken picked up everything off the coffee table and headed for the kitchen to deposit the dishes. Then he set out for the boxes in the corner and stopped short.

He hadn't even looked in this direction since the episode this afternoon and now it was just him and the boxes. And all those insecurities that anger had disbanded only moments ago returned full force. He had found the one box of clothes, but it looked to contain mostly t-shirts and summer stuff. He hadn't managed to get through them all to figure out which one had his more intimate apparel. What was he supposed to do now? He didn't even want to go near that box still, but how could he get past it when it firmly sat on top of the others. He stood there trying to find an answer without giving into the irrational fear that gripped him.

A light touch on his shoulder made him jump. "Ken. It's ok, it's just me." Ran's familiar cadence hurriedly said. Immediately, Ken relaxed, the pace of his heat returning to normal.

"Sorry," he mumbled as reply.

"Don't worry about it. You alright?"

"Yeah, you just startled me, 'sall." Letting out another deep breath, he asked, "Did you get everything?"

"Yes. I wasn't sure if you found your clothes, so I brought you a shirt and sweatpants. I didn't know what you used." He held out the proffered garments to the stunned brunette.

"Thanks." Blushing lightly, the corner of his mouth quirked up.

"If you don't mind, may I use the bathroom first?"

"Sure, go ahead. You're the one who has someplace to be in the morning." A sad smile curved full lips.

"Thanks."

The two got ready for bed. While Ken was in the restroom, Ran readied the couch. He finished just as the brunette reemerged. "Thanks Ran. For staying here tonight. And the clothes."

"It's no trouble. Why don't you get some sleep? I'll be right here if you need anything."

"I will, Oyasumi Ran." Ken turned toward his room and paused as Ran answered.

"Oyasumi, Ken." Ran watched the brunette for a moment longer. Ken started closing the door, then stopped. He stood there for a few seconds determining what he should do. Then Ken just walked away, leaving it half open and half closed. If he ever thought about it, he decided he would ask Ken later what he really preferred. As of now, he was tired and he did need to wake up early tomorrow. So he laid down and drifted off to sleep.

v – v – v – v -

I am soooo sorry folks for the delay, Life's been crazy lately with costumes and practice and getting ready for vacation! . :D I so can't wait! But anyway, I felt I should at least give you guys something before I book outta here. ;) So I hope you liked it. More Ran/Ken mush (gag!) that was really just to let them get to know each other. I realize Ran may be rather OOC but like I said, it's before he got all broody himself and he has someone else's misery to occupy his mind right now. But he'll always remain his icy self when Ken's not around.

Yoji: That's right, only hot coffee can melt that iceberg!

Ken: Hentai! Baka no Yoji! -Ran scowl's off to the side-

S-k: LOL, You guys are too much. What would I ever do without you all for entertainment?

Omi: A lot apparently. You haven't bothered with us for weeks.

S-k: Hey, everyone gets busy now and then. –pouts-

Ken: But that doesn't mean you should neglect us!

Yoji: Oh, can it Ken, YOU weren't neglected while she was busy. Isn't that right, Ranny boy?

Ran glares death-

S-k: And you saw no action then either, huh? -crosses her arms and stares incredulously-

Yoji: I didn't say that, but it would have been better if you were around.

S-k: Married. -exasperated-

Yoji: Doesn't mean we can't enjoy a good time.

S-k: Not the kind you're after.

Yoji: Well, anyway, like I said, I wasn't completely neglected like Chibi over here. –throws an arm around Omi-

Omi: . –looking rather smug- That's what you think. –Yoji's jaw drops-

Yoji: Nani?

S-k: LOL. Looks like the playboy's loosing his touch!

Omi: Hey, I can find someone to be with just as easy as you can, Yotan.

Yoji: Yeah, How?

Omi: I'm not telling.

Ken: The computer! –he announces joyously as he figures it out- The electric bill was up this month and I've seen you up late on the computer!

Yoji: So who is she?

Omi: Who said it had to be a 'she?'

Yoji: . –sighs heavily- Am I the only florist who goes for women?

Ken: The door does swing both ways, you know. Yoriko. -Ran gives Ken a nasty look- Oh stop it. You know I'm not interested in anyone else, but sometimes you can't help but notice, ya know? -the temperature in the room drops 10 degrees-

Yoji: Oh stop it you two. Shiki's getting cold. –goes to wrap an arm around her-

S-k: It's ok, I'm leaving now anyway. –through chattering teeth- Thanks again for all your patience and support minna-san! And don't forget to REVIEW! Please, You know that little button's calling you. Listen to it and maybe when I get back I'll post another chap! (Tues. ;) Ja ne!