A/N: The finale you have all been waiting for. I promise. It's a real LoVe story. I hope you enjoy it.

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Chapter 16: Under her Armor

Logan's words sliced through Veronica's heart like a knife. She tried to free herself from his psychological grasp. Even though he wasn't physically restraining her, the magnetism was undeniable. "You don't understand," she began. There wasn't anything about him that was awful – quite the contrary actually.

"Then explain it to me," Logan pleaded his voice breaking with emotion. "I'm right here."

"If. . . if I love you. . . I'm . . . I'm gonna lose myself in you . . . . and then, and then,. . ." Veronica willed herself no to cry, but her voice was already cracking. When she sniffed audibly, Logan handed her a tissue. Rather than continue to stare at her, he scooted over and rested the length of his thigh against the length of hers so they were sitting side by side. Without words he urged her to continue and she did. Logan reached one arm around her back, cradling Veronica into him and used the other to take her free hand, the one not holding the tissue. "If I love you and . . . I lose you. . . I don't think I'll survive. I just can't do it anymore. I have to keep you safe and somehow that usually means without me."

"Shhhhh," Logan began rubbing his hand up and down her back soothing her. "I'm not going anywhere, Veronica. I love you."

"But Lily left. Duncan left. My mom left. Your mom. . ." Veronica tried to explain, but the tears were falling freely now, washing away all the pent up fear and frustration from the last several years. Once that dam broke, there was no holding back. Years of hurt, of anger and of disappointment came tumbling out. She wept for Lily, for Meg, and for baby Lily who would never know her mother and for all of the kids on the bus. She wept for herself, for the loss of her innocence, for the pieces stolen by Cassidy, by Aaron, by her alcoholic mother, by Logan and Duncan as well as Mercer and Moe. She wept for her dad, for all the things he lost and all the things she took from him without meaning to. The tears kept flowing from the depths of her soul and she had no ability to stop them.

Logan continued to hold her as her body shook loose the grief and pain that had built up inside her. This wasn't what he had expected when he started this conversation, when he pushed her buttons, but maybe this was better. It was time to get it all out in the open and out of her system. She needed this catharsis. They both did. It was the only way to wash the slate clean once and for all.

As Veronica sobbed Logan pulled her gently backwards onto the bed with him, and maneuvered her small frame so she was curled around him as she wept into his chest.

Veronica was torn by the dichotomy of her own emotions. The more familiar feelings were anger and shame. She had lost control. She was allowing herself to be vulnerable, a luxury she could rarely afford. She struggled to regain her composure but the force of her emotions was too overwhelming. She needed this release more than she even understood. Surprisingly, she also felt loved and comforted - cherished - that Logan was trying to sooth her. He wasn't taking advantage of her or shrinking away from her in disgust.

When the tears finally subsided and her body stopped convulsing from the heart wrenching sobs, Logan tilted Veronica's chin up and dried her tears with the pad of this thumb.

"Thank you," he whispered staring into her beautiful blue tearstained and swollen eyes.

"Thank you?" Veronica repeated incredulously as she sat up and unzipped her heavy boots tossing them on the floor. Patting around the bed with her hand, Veronica finally found her water bottle without looking. Unscrewing the cap, she took a long drink, as though she was trying to replace the moisture that had flowed out through her eyes. "Ah, . . . Logan, why are you thanking me? God, I was crying so hard, I actually got your shirt wet." She nodded her head toward the darkened patch on his chest and swallowed trying to force down her own embarrassment at having bawled so openly.

Sitting up, he looked down to see a wet area on his shirt and smiled tenderly. "I'm thanking you because I know that was one of the hardest things you ever did – allow yourself to be vulnerable, to cry, . . . . to let somebody – to let me – comfort you." He tried to gather her into his arms but she didn't return willingly and he wasn't going to pull her. Still he stroked her back in wide circles. "You don't always have to be so strong, you know."

Veronica regarded at him with a softness in her eyes Logan hadn't seen since before Lily died, maybe not since freshman year of high school.

With his free hand, Logan took her hand in his. "Still, other than . . . the night we thought your father died in that explosion, I've never seen you cry. The fact that you could show me that side of you . . . after everything . . . It tells me how much, deep down that you do trust me."

"Trust doesn't come easy to me," Veronica reluctantly admitted, "But you're right. Even when I get crazy, even when I push you away . . . You've always been my rock, my hero."

"I'm nobody's hero," decried Logan.

"Relax," joked Veronica. "You don't have to wear a cape and tights."

Letting go of her hand, Logan opened his arms to her and responded to her more serious sentiments. "We'll work on it."

Veronica accepted his invitation and laid back down with her head on his chest, careful to avoid the area that was still wet from her tears.

"I missed you," he whispered into her hair before placing a soft kiss on her head.

Maneuvering herself up his body so that they were more eye to eye, Veronica echoed his words, "I missed you too."

Not quite believing his own eyes or that Veronica was here in his room, Logan had to ask, "Where do we go from here?"

Quirking an eyebrow at Logan, incorrectly assuming he was suggesting something else, Veronica coyly teased as she ran her hand over his chest and abs, seeking entrance under his T-shirt, "Where do you think this is going?"

Logan grabbed her wrist to immobilize her hands, "No. This has to be about more than sex, Veronica."

The blonde was momentarily dumbfounded. Logan was turning down sex? The world had indeed gone mad. "I don't know. You're the one who said we were epic."

He hated when Veronica threw his own words back at him. The woman had no regard for poetic license. She took everything so literally. "Don't you think there's been enough lives ruined and bloodshed?"

"We haven't been to another continent," she baited him.

"God damn it, Veronica. I'm serious." Logan scowled at her. "We can't just fall into bed again. It never resolves anything."

Trying to return the mood to something light and playful and hoping to avoid a serious conversation, Veronica tried to distract him, "Well it does tend to relieve certain pressures." As she spoke she moved her hand down to skim over the ever growing bulge in his jeans. Even though Logan's words may be saying stop, his body told her he was lying. Knowing that she still had a physical effect on him returned Veronica to some semblance of normalcy. Despite her outburst, they were still Logan and Veronica; their physical attraction couldn't be denied or matched.

Again Logan stilled Veronica's hand and moved it back to his abdomen outside of his t-shirt. "You have to stop running from me. You have to trust me. We have to trust each other."

There was that word again. That concept. Trust. Why was everybody so hung up on trust? She had freely and repeatedly given him her body. After everything that she'd been through, why couldn't he understand how hard that had been for her? Why couldn't that be enough?

When Veronica tilted her head up, Logan was staring at her intently but without any hint of arousal in his face, which contrasted with his lower body.

Veronica shut her eyes. This was her new semester – her new start. She drifted back to the summer – the hypnotherapist had taught her to go to her safe place; ironically as much as she'd struggled with intimacy, her safe place was Logan's arms, right where she was now. She remembered Hoover's voice from the summer and the initiation. If she could trust relative strangers – even friends like Mac and Wallace – to catch her before she fell, why couldn't she trust Logan?

There were reasons not to trust him – he abandoned her after Lilly's death; he tried to make her life in high school hell; Madison; his drinking; and his insistence on resolving most things with violence. But there were reasons to trust him too. Although he wasn't exactly predictable, in most situations Veronica knew how he'd react, even if she didn't particularly like how he reacted. He apologized repeatedly for how he acted in high school. It was also high school. It wasn't really fair to judge somebody by how they behaved when they were sixteen. Plus even in the midst of the torment, he'd come to her rescue at the Camelot. His drinking wasn't as out of control as it had been in the past; he also never drove drunk, preferring to call a car service or stay where he was. She couldn't even say he cheated on her because while flirting came as naturally to Logan as breathing, he never took it any further with another woman while they were together. He even sought her permission before asking out Parker. As much as she loathed Madison, the logical side of her brain had to concede that Logan's dalliance with her happened while they were broken up. Veronica fully understood how love and sex could be used as weapons. She'd thrown Duncan in Logan's face as often as he tormented her with Kendall. Deep down she would have to admit that she'd kissed Piz that first time in part because Logan was watching. The fighting and the anger still scared her. She knew he'd never raise a hand to her, or their children, but still the fact that Logan was quick to hit, or worse, made him scary. Again she thought about the fire at the community pool. Could she really excuse that as a childish prank?

"Trust is hard for me, Logan." He looked crestfallen at her statement. "But, I'm working on it and I'd like to work on it with you, . . . with us."

Logan's whole face lit up.

With that confession, Veronica bent her head to kiss the man lying beneath her. The second their lips met, the smoldering need between them exploded into a blazing passion. Lips melded. Trounces danced. Hands roamed freely reigniting familiar passions. Clothes were unceremoniously shed as the lovers crawled up each other and the bed between kisses, licks, caresses, and nibbles allowing their bodies to say without words just how deeply the connections and the love between them ran. It was powerful and tender, just like them. Their joining was more than just two bodies – it was two souls – each the other's missing half – reconnecting.

Afterwards, once they had both regained the ability to breathe, Logan used the remote to shut off all the lights. It would have been the perfect romantic setting but for the continued pounding of the bass from the music at the party.

"I hate parties," Veronica lamented, listening to the beating of Logan's strong heart which not in time with the music.

"No you don't. But it would be nice if all these people weren't here," Both Logan and Veronica remembered the last time he'd said that to her, as they snuck away from the ridiculous party Aaron had thrown for Logan when they were forced to announce their relationship to all their friends.

"It's your house. Can't you do something? Didn't you say a man's home is his castle?"

"If only I could, my Queen. If only I could."

Somehow, despite the music, Logan and Veronica managed to drift off to sleep in each other's arms.

As predicted, Veronica awoke to breathing taking view the next morning – a naked Logan sleeping peacefully next to her, with a contended smile on his face. Maybe, just maybe, she thought, fairytales could come true.

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed this. I had fun writing it. I was trying to come up with something I thought could have been an episode so I endeavored to have it be more than a romance and to have multiple plot lines: LoVe, Bruce the drag queen, & the Castle initiation. I'd love to know if anybody thinks I succeeded.

I appreciated all of the reviews. Many of you helped to shape the story. The scenes with the initiation were not in my original draft; they came later in response to feedback.

I can't promise a sequel because I don't usually write them. My muse seems to have temporarily abandoned me. I'm not sure when she will be returning because my cable company moved SoapNet to a channel I don't get so I no longer have access to the re-runs. I do feel a different story starting to percolate but no promises.

Thanks again for giving me this outlet and for all of your encouragement and feedback.