Disclaimer: See initial chapter.
Danny feels a little like there's a boulder sitting on his chest, and he isn't sure, but he doesn't think that he should be alive. Something niggles at the back of his mind, but it is really difficult for him to think clearly.
He can hear voices, but he doesn't know who they belong to, and that kind of scares him, because he is certain that he should know who each of those voices belongs to. They're familiar, and yet they aren't. The names associated with the voices slip his mind, like sand through a child's fingers.
The voices make it impossible for Danny to return to the darkness, so he concentrates on them, hoping that a name will tag itself to at least one of the voices so that maybe he can understand what is going on. Thoughts and images drift in and out of his mind, and they terrify him. Red and pain, black and death, and cold so complete that it steals his breath.
"Steven?" Danny says; it's the only voice he can put a name to, and his throat's on fire before he remembers why, and he has to steal himself for what is going to happen next.
"Danny?"
It sounds like Steve's real, like he's not a figment of Danny's imagination like Anna and Mick had told him the man was.
"Hey babe."
Danny feels a pressure against his hand, and he flinches, because he knows that Anna or Mick is going to punish him for believing in the existence of Steven.
"Hey, Danny, Danno."
The hand gripping his squeezes him, and it feels safe, but Danny isn't sure. He wishes he was brave enough to open his eyes and see who's holding his hand.
If it's Anna, his broken pinky will be twisted until he begs her to stop. If it's Mick, Danny will wish that he'd never heard of the name, Steve McGarrett, whether the man was just a creation of his subconscious or not.
He isn't brave though, not like the man Danny wishes was real. Steve, Super Seal, in Danny's imagination is a man who can brave his way through anything. He's a veritable super hero, worthy of a red cape and black cowl, but way too manly to wear tights. His sidekicks, Chin and Kono, make up a kickass team.
Danny can't seem to figure out where he fits into the whole fantasy world he's created in his mind, so he settles for being the hapless Jimmy Olsen on this imaginary team, because he doesn't have any superhero qualities.
He's weak and pathetic and he deserves to be punished. Anna and Mick are so good to him, but he has been bad and disobedient. He doesn't deserve them, and that's why he has to die. Why he should already be dead. He wonders why he isn't.
"Danny?" Steve's voice again. "Danny, can you open your eyes for me?"
'No,' Danny thinks, 'I'm not falling for that trick again.' He doesn't want another eyedropper of hot sauce in his left eye.
"Yes, I'm sure that I heard him say my name," Steve says, and Danny wonders who the man's talking to, because it isn't him.
"Not real." Danny manages enough courage to say that, hoping that he'll appease Anna and Mick, and that they won't have to punish him as severely.
"See," Steve says, "he's awake, he just won't open his eyes."
"Maybe he's afraid," a voice Danny can't put a name to says.
"Yeah, maybe." Danny's hand is squeezed, but it doesn't hurt. "C'mon babe, just open your eyes, let Dr. Bergman see for himself that you're awake."
"Not Steve," Danny says, licking his lips, "not brave. Not real."
It hurts to talk; he'd been forced to drink orange juice laced with Drano for breakfast one morning because he'd talked back. He'd coughed up so much blood that he thought he was going to die ahead of schedule.
"Shh, don't talk Danno, just open your eyes, please."
It's the please that does it, because Danny hasn't heard the word please in a real long time, and he's almost forgotten what it means.
He can't keep his eyes open for long, because it hurts, and his eyes are telling him lies anyway. They show him the men and woman that he's been dreaming about. The three – Steve, Chin and Kono – that Anna and Mick had tried so desperately to erase from his subconscious because they didn't belong there.
"Not real," Danny repeats.
He's tired and sore, and his eyes are playing tricks on him. He wonders where Anna and Mick are, because he needs to know that they haven't abandoned him. He needs them.
"What's wrong with him?" Steve asks. The pressure on Danny's hand increases.
"I'm not sure," another voice says, "I think we'd better let the psychologist talk to him."
Danny doesn't understand what's happening, and he doesn't care. It isn't too hard for him to shut down and go back to sleep, and so he does.