"What's going on?" Alan asked quietly with a serious tone. Phil and Tino had gone to bed as soon as the bus started moving, but he needed to talk to Austin. They'd been putting it off for too long.
"She won't even talk to me. I fucked up, Alan. Really bad." Austin was already on edge.
"Why?"
He let out a small breath. "The other night, we went over to the casinos by ourselves and we ended up kissing a couple times and she thinks I was just playing games."
"Austin…" Alan sighed. "Do you realize what you've done? This is a huge mess."
"I know that! But I don't know what to do. She was the one who always helped me through everything." He looked at the floor distantly.
"You need to set everything straight."
"I can't do that to Abby…"
"Austin," Alan said firmly. "Don't do that. She'll be fine, trust me. You can't do that to yourself. You've been miserable for days. You matter too. Your best friend and the girl of your dreams could very well never be in your life ever again. Which thought hurts you more?"
Austin's eyes watered as he looked back up at Alan.
Alan put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I know how it must suck, but she's going to find someone too and then what? You're running out of time."
"But she won't even talk to me." He breathed desperately.
"She'll open back up eventually. And when she does, you better take that ball and fucking run with it."
Austin gave him a small smile.
Alan squeezed his shoulder and stood up.
"I'll leave you to think. Wake me up when we're in Arizona."
"Will do." Austin replied.
Once Alan was gone, Austin sighed loudly as his thoughts consumed him.
...
Of Mice & Men were the last ones to arrive for the show in Scottsdale the next night.
They didn't get back until the middle of The New Revolution's set.
Austin cursed himself for making them late. He wanted to spend every second he could watching Kristen and he had missed much of their performance.
He watched them intently, trying his best to ignore Abby while she hung all over him.
"Come on, babe. You go on soon. We could get something in before that."
"No, stop. I'm watching them."
"You've watched them every night since the tour started. I think you know their entire act forwards and backwards by now." She whined.
"Well they put on an amazing show every time. It's something you don't want to miss, even if you've seen it a thousand times." Austin replied sarcastically. He doubted she would ever be able to understand what he meant.
Abby scoffed and stopped begging, but continued to hug on him and keep contact.
When Kristen and her band came off stage, Austin watched her eyes flicker to them. He saw a flash of pain before she darted them away.
As soon as Austin realized that it was because of Abby, he pushed her away.
"What the fuck?"
"I'm just not in the mood to deal with you tonight."
"Oh, whatever!" She shouted before storming off.
Austin shook his head but didn't think about it for a second longer as he ran over to Kristen.
Kristen took a deep breath as he approached her.
"Kristen, you did great." He forced a soft smile.
She nodded at him, avoiding his eyes.
"Please." He begged.
Still not reaching his eyes, she shook her head.
Austin felt his heart break more every second. "Please." He whimpered again.
She lifted her eyes until they met his, and he saw a familiar sadness in hers.
"Austin! Let's go!" Tino called to him.
He frowned at her for a few more moments before heading towards the stage.
...
"My body's failing; I think I've hit the floor. I can't remember anything anymore." Austin screamed passionately as they finished The Depths.
He peered over at Kristen, knowing she was watching.
Austin felt a sting of hope as he turned back to the crowd.
"I'm sure a lot of you have seen it; remember when I sang Second & Sebring with my best friend in the whole world? What would you guys say to hear that tonight?"
The crowd cheered back positively, and Austin ran to her.
She protested, but he was able to bring her back on stage.
He handed her a mic, but she dropped it.
His face fell and the crowd went silent.
"I… I can't." She said quietly. Looking up to the sky, she whispered. "I'm sorry."
The crowd turned on her quickly, and started booing immediately when she started to walk off stage.
To save themselves, they started the song right after, but Austin found it hard to focus.
If his mother had been here now, he was sure that she wouldn't be proud of what he'd done.
...
After the show ended, Austin stayed around a couple extra hours to help clean up the venue.
He was taking all the trash out to the dumpster and heard the sound of crying.
Concerned, he turned the corner and saw Kristen sitting next to Tony. She was crying. Her face in the dim streetlight and the light from her phone showed that she'd probably been doing it for a while.
"What's wrong?" He asked worriedly.
She looked up at him and more tears left her eyes. She stood up and walked away.
Tony sighed loudly and tilted his head back against the wall.
"What happened?" Austin asked again.
Tony lifted the phone towards him.
Taking it, Austin's eyes widened.
'How dare she, that was pathetic. She needs to just get over the fact that Abby is Austin's girlfriend and he loves HER.'
'I would've smacked that bitch.'
'Has anyone thought that it's not about Abby? Maybe she was just nervous today. Who knows?'
'It's good that she didn't sing with them again. She's fucking awful. It was bad enough the first time.'
Austin was appalled at the messages. His face showed as much as he handed the phone back to Tony.
"All because she didn't sing with you. Can you believe that?"
"That's crazy." Austin couldn't believe it.
"It is." Tony hesitated to continue. "I'm really worried about her. I know she's being stubborn but you need to talk to her. Straighten this stuff out. If you don't want to be with her, tell her that. Don't leave her guessing anymore. And if you care about her, make her believe it. She doesn't deserve any of this."
Austin felt himself go numb. "Okay."
Nervousness engulfed him knowing that he'd just agreed to the seemingly impossible.
...
Austin spent all of the following day looking for Kristen, but he couldn't find her.
He finally gave up and started to head back to the venue.
"Austin, Austin! Can we speak to you?"
Austin absolutely did not want to turn them away, but he just wasn't feeling good right now.
"Guys, I'm not okay right now. I can't." He tried to walk past them.
"Please?"
"I-I'm sorry. I have to get to the show."
The two guys stopped and frowned.
"Everything okay?" One of them asked.
He sighed. "I have to go tell my best friend something. Something very important."
"Kristen?"
"Yes."
"Go." The other guy spoke up. "Run to her."
Austin thought it was extremely strange, but he listened and jogged off to the venue.
...
"Circles, we're going in circles. Dizzy's all it makes us. We know where it takes us, we've been before."
Austin watched with watering eyes as she sang.
Her voice was beautiful. Her movements were graceful. She was gorgeous.
Why in the hell hadn't he noticed this years ago?
He wanted to just hold her and stay there forever.
Ugh. This was awful.
The time during set changes was fuzzy, and Austin's performance was sketchy.
He wasn't in the right mindset to be performing tonight.
Hopefully sleep would make it all go away.
...
After getting everything put up, Austin began walking back to the buses alone.
As he walked across the parking lot, he could hear distant shouting.
He looked around to find where it was coming from.
Across from the buses, Austin saw two girls clearly trying to intimidate another.
It took him half a second to realize that that girl was Kristen.
"Who are you to think that you had any right even being in Austin's presence?" One girl asked.
"He won't ever want you! Sorry, bitch!" The other continued.
"Hey!" Austin screamed angrily.
"Oh, hey babe." The stranger cooed. "Don't worry; we were just taking care of this bitch."
"Piss off." He growled, moving in front of Kristen protectively.
One of them sneered. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Getting you the fuck out of here. Leave her alone and go away."
"You're really picking her over fans?"
"You aren't fans. You either are extremely creepily obsessed or you just want to fuck. Either way, we don't need you around here. Now go." Austin said in a low voice. He wanted them gone. Now. It was people like them that were causing Kristen to get so down.
"Ugh, fine. You're a bitch anyway."
They kept making pointless threats and insults as they walked away. As soon as they got in their car, Austin gasped as something grabbed him.
He looked down to see Kristen with her arms wrapped around him tightly as she cried against his chest.
"Thank you. So much." She whispered.
"Of course." Austin hugged her back.
They hugged in silence for a few minutes before she started to pull away.
"Thanks, really. I can't thank you enough."
Austin smiled.
"But I still can't be around you."
His smile fell. "Why?"
"I'm… better this way." The words were so pained. Rightfully so, as they hurt both of them.
"It'll be better with me." He pleaded.
"Yeah, I don't think so. I'm sorry, Austin."
"But-"
"We need to go before we get stuck in New Mexico." She started to move towards the buses.
He grabbed her arm, stopping her and turning her so she faced him. "I'll take it if I get to be with you."
She pulled her arm away softly and looked at him with shimmering eyes.
"I'm sorry."
When she walked away this time, he made no moves to stop her. He watched her leave until she disappeared into her tour bus.