Chapter 5 - I Don't Love You

Gerard's POV

"NOOOOOO!"

Oh my fucking god. As I'm sure you know, I love Frank Iero more than anything. I have for just over 5 years now since we met, and it's almost a year since we first admitted our love to each other. But seriously, does he ever shut up?! I personally am a really quiet person. When I was younger, our basement was my bedroom, and I used to spend most of my time down there drawing comic book characters rather than talking to people. Frank is the opposite, in high school he was really loud and outgoing. Of course we were the loser group so he wasn't exactly 'popular', but that didn't stop him from talking non-stop. I'm surprised he never lost his voice. And even now, years later, he is still the loudest person I know.

At the moment him and Ray are playing some game, I think it's Nazi Zombies. Frank keeps screaming every time he dies, and it's annoying me because I'm trying to concentrate on a poem I'm writing. I suppose they could be songs with music to accompany them. I look up and glare in Frank's direction until he notices, and then he pulls his oh-so-famous puppy dog face and says "sorry Gee!" to me. Damn him, that works on me every time. The truth is, I could never stay mad at him. I love him too much.

Frank's POV

After beating Lady Fro-Fro(Ray)'s ass on COD for about the billionth time today and getting a new personal record of headshots, I decided it was time to apologise to Gerard. I knew he didn't like when people were loud, and he had been sitting at the table clearly concentrating on something. We were back in our own flat now (Gerard and I moved in together a couple of weeks ago and now Ray and Mikey live together) and I decided to make him a coffee, grab some cookies and then go and take them to him. I found him at his desk in his room, drawing something. Of course we often shared a bed, but because we had a lot of different stuff, we had separate rooms.

"Hey" I said. "What are you drawing?"

"Another character" He replied. I looked over his shoulder to the drawing. This one was some type of superhero, dressed in a blue jacket, yellow mask and grey jeans with a yellow gun. It looked pretty cool.

"I like it" I said.

"Thanks". He stopped drawing and turned in his seat to face me. His face lit up with a broad smile as he saw the coffee and cookies, and I handed them to him. He took them from me and placed the tray on his desk, taking a quick sip of the coffee and then turning back to me. He leaned forwards and put his arms on my waist, bringing his lips to mine. I responded by kissing back and throwing my arms around his neck, apparently too hard as he moaned when they hit him. I couldn't lie, it turned me on. I think he noticed too, as he started leading me away from the desk.. And to.. His bed. Without breaking the kiss he laid me down, straddling me and then kissing along my neck. I took the end of the kiss as an opportunity to gain my breath back, and to realise what he was going to do. I wanted him to. Badly.

"Gee" I said. He stopped and looked down to me. "Your coffee will get cold" I giggled. He smiled that evil grin of his and then brought his face back to my ear.

"It doesn't matter, I know you'll make another one for me when I give you what you want. Won't you, Frankie?" He whispered. His voice sent shockwaves through my veins. I nodded and he laughed, kissing me again. And then things got really fun…

Gerard's POV

Ray's been acting weird lately. He's just not really talking and spacing out a little. The other day he was just staring at Frank blankly. It creeped everyone out. He's especially weird around me, it's like he's scared to talk to me or something. But I don't know why.

This morning I woke up to the sound of Frank's soft breathing - he was asleep on my chest and my arms were wrapped around him like he was a teddy. That guy was damn comfy though. I lay there for a while longer so that he could have some extra sleep before eventually moving, and waking him up in the process.

"Whoa, what year is it" He mumbled as he awoke.

"You know what year it is Frankie. But today's Sunday and it's 11am already so it's time we got up and did something!" I said.

"I know what we could do…" He winked. I leaned in until I was inches away from him. "Fuck off" I said, and winked back, walking off into the bathroom to brush my teeth and do my makeup. When I came out of the bathroom I got dressed and then walked out to find Frank already dressed and sitting in the living room with a piece of toast covered in marmite. He held it out to me and said through a mouthful of food; "Want some?".

I pretended to gag. "Marmite is disgusting!" I replied, and made myself a coffee and sat down next to him. We sat in comfortable silence as he munched his toast and I thought about what we would be doing today. We were planning on going into the town with Mikey and Ray to look in the comic book store, and as Ray's birthday was in a week, Frank and I had a plan that we would split up so Mikey and I could go off together and buy Ray presents, while Frank kept him occupied. Then we would meet later after effectively hiding his presents in the boot of my car. After our breakfast, Frank did his makeup and then we were ready to go and get the others. Operation Presents for Fro Fro, is ago.

Frank's POV

"Ok so Ray, I forgot I needed to get some new strings for my guitar, is it cool if you come with me and then we'll meet you other guys at the takeaway a bit later when we've found them?" I asked. All part of the plan.

"I agree with that, I have to get some art supplies anyways so Mikey and I can do that while you guys look for the strings" Gerard agreed with me. Mikey nodded, and Ray agreed too after a moment. Why was that guy so spaced out?

We all said Goodbye and then me and Ray started making our way to the nearest music store. There were two in this town, a fair distance away from each other, and nowhere near where Gerard and Mikey would be looking for presents. Ray asked me what type of strings I needed to find, and I made up a type so that we would be looking for a long time, long enough for Mikey and Gerard to find him something. We looked for about 45 minutes before Ray gave up.

"I'm really bored of this" He said.

"But the others won't have got all of the art stuff yet"

"Then lets go and sit at the park for a while!"

I considered it. The park was also quite far away from where Gerard and Mikey would be, and so I agreed. They also knew that we were likely to be there, so if we didn't realise we were late, they would come and look for us here. We went to the park and sat under a huge willow tree next to the little stream that ran though the middle. After sitting in slightly awkward silence for a moment, Ray turned to me.

"Frank, I…" He began.

"You….?"

"Nevermind. It doesn't matter" He said quickly.

"No, tell me" I insisted.

"Well, you know how I haven't had a girlfriend in a while…"

"Err, yes?"

"I just.. I… Think I.. Might be gay" He said. This shocked me a little, I wouldn't have expected Ray of all people to be gay. There was nothing wrong with it though and I surely couldn't talk anyway, as both me and Gerard were bi. Ray stood and walked a bit away, clearly uneasy. I stood too and followed him, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Ray, listen to me, it's okay" I said. He seemed to relax a little. "How are you sure? Do you like someone?" I asked. He turned a deep shade of red, and I instantly knew that he did. "Who?" I asked.

He seemed to be having an internal debate with himself, and then looked me straight in the eye.

"Stay still" He said. I felt weird, what was he doing? "It's okay just don't panic or say anything". What the fuck was he on about? Was there a spider on me?! Shit, shit shit! I hate spiders! Ray began moving closer to me, reaching both of his hands up to my hair to get the spider. Except, perhaps not. His hands landed either side of my face, and he pulled me towards him a little. I suddenly realised too late what was happening. There was no spider in my hair. Something far worse was going to happen. And then it happened.

Shit. Oh shit. He was kissing me! I was scared, I didn't know what to do. Gerard. Oh god, I couldn't do this to him! It was him I loved! Not Ray! But I was still so worried. I really wanted to shove him away… to tell him that Gerard is my only one and that is never going to change. But Ray was one of my best friends. If I did that, he might never talk to me again. As guilty and horrible as I felt letting Ray kiss me, I didn't pull away. He clearly had feelings for me, I couldn't be so cruel to him. I decided I would let him kiss me this once, and then tell him afterwards that we can't be together, and it's Gerard I love. I would just tell him. "Ray, I don't love you". That would be the fair way to do it, and then I could go and see Gerard and explain what had happened. I knew he'd understand.

After a moment or two of letting Ray kiss me (but no tongues or anything, there was no way I could do that to Gerard), he finally pulled away. He seemed to look at my face for a reaction, but then his eyes focused on something behind me, and his face turned to a picture of horror. Confused, I turned around to see what he had seen and felt my jaw drop as I watched Gerard turn and run away, tears streaming down his face. What had I done.