Stiles is really happy with his new phone. Who would be unhappy about moving from his old piece of crap to the new IPhone. Sure he missed his Sony Xperia, but when he broke that with the whole Scott thing in the locker room his Dad had bought him a plain old practical blackberry. Since it turned out Derek was a trend whore and desperately wanted an IPhone for himself, Stiles was not in a position to argue that he wanted another phone. Not looking a gift horse in the mouth or anything.
He and Derek spend a lot of time texting each other when they have to be apart. Really it's him doing most of the talking and Derek posting a lot of sighing in frustration sounding "Stiles..." and angry werewolf emoticons. That's not any different in real life, so Stiles counts it as talking. Plus every once and a while Derek throws him a bone and will actually converse. Like the other day he told Stiles that Batman was cooler than Superman because he was just a man with a mission and not a man with alien powers. Stiles figures that Batman resonates more with Derek because of the whole parents dying thing.
Stiles is at the grocery store buying stuff for both his Dad's place and Derek's. He gets all of the dry foods and frozen foods first because he likes to wander up and down the aisle. He drives Derek crazy with questions about whether he should buy werewolves whole wheat or white with added vitamins and whether he should get Trix or fruit loops. Derek just answers that bread of any sort is fine because it all goes in the same place, but is adamant he doesn't want Trix. So of course Stiles has to go there and ask why not and Derek of course types back that Trix are for kids. Stiles texts him back that he's certain that Derek doesn't like the cereal because it has a bunny on the front and it makes Derek feel guilty about all the Thumpers he ate the night before when he looks at the box in the morning. When Stiles gets no response back, he just takes it as his being right. In the end he buys the fruit loops and the cocoa puffs, because hungry werewolf teens.
Of course he loves flirting with Derek on the phone he bought him, so he takes a photograph of the whip cream he then puts in the cart and sends it to Derek. He does the same with the honey and the chocolate sauce he picks up. Nothing wrong with bringing sauces into the bedroom! He contemplates the marshmallow fluff before taking a photo of that as well and putting it in the cart.
He knows when he takes a shot of the extra virgin olive oil he is going a step too far, but he really couldn't help himself. The response back from Derek is: Stiles I think just about everyone in Beacon Hills knows you aren't a virgin anymore. But yes, fine to all of it. Stiles can't help grinning back down as his phone, or the fist pump in the air. Sugar and sex is the best combination ever!
Last shopping of the night is in the fruits and veg section. Stiles left it for last, well because you leave the best for last. Plus he figured he'd have to be a little more covert about taking photos in this section of the store. It's so much more open and crowded. With his back turned to anyone else in the section Stiles picks out a particularly fine specimen of zucchini and shoots a picture and send it to Derek with the comment: So should I buy this for when I get lonely? He just gets back: ... So he takes that to mean too small. He does however put a few in the cart because they work great in spaghetti. He moves on to the English cucumber and snaps a photo sending it off with the comment: I like the length? But moves on to the regular cucumber putting one in the cart. Unable to take a shot because just then one of his neighbours reached over to get one herself and Stiles gets caught up answering questions about school and his Dad before politely extracting himself and moving off to the eggplant. He knows it's totally ridiculous, but that's half the point. Finding a nice one he snaps a covert photo and sends it along with the message: Would this cause envy?
Since he hasn't had an answer in a while he picks out a limp droopy carrot off of the 50% off cart and snaps a shot and sends it with the message: Did the last photo leave you feeling like this? Stiles can't help but snort at his own sense of humour. He was the best. Seriously.
Throwing the rest of the fruit and vegetables from his shopping lists into the cart Stiles heads up to the cashier. He lines up in Vanessa's line since she is funny, likes to talk, but still is very efficient at her job. It's a slightly longer line than some of the others, but it's worth it. When Derek is there Vanessa always harmlessly flirts with him, but when it's just Stiles she always teases Stiles about what naughty sex she thinks he and Derek are up to just to make him blush. It's all fun. He pulls out his phone from his pocket again and begins to play angry birds. His phone chirps to tell him he has a new message. Looking at his tweets his jaw just drops. His brain freezes entirely and he just can't contain the "Oh my gods" or stop himself from giggly. It's either giggle or lose his shit completely.
He practically jumps out of his skin when a hand taps him from behind. "What's so funny?" Ms. McCall asks him.
"Uhhh nothing, Scott just sent me a joke." Stiles says, holding his phone close to his chest.
"Really? Scott's on his phone? I told him no phone until he studied for chemistry. Give me that phone." she says as she grabs it from his hand. As she looks at the photo her face goes from anger to shock...
"That's not Scott's! It's my boyfriend. My boyfriend that my Dad knows about!" Stiles is quick to say.
"Stiles, I think I know what my son looks like. I changed his diaper for years." Ms. McCall says taking another quick glance at the photo before handing the phone back to Stiles. "I think I forgot to get milk." She adds blushing a little. "And Stiles, you're a luck man." She says before walking off into the store.
Omg, Omg Omg is all Stiles can think over and over again. He texts Scott to let him know that his mother had accidentally seen Derek's junk. Vanessa looks up from her phone, which she quickly pockets and begins to run Stiles groceries through the scanner and bagging them. Other than saying hi to each other, they are both abnormally quiet. Finally after Stiles has paid for both sets of groceries Vanessa speaks up. "Uhmm Stiles...I don't want you to think I am stalking you and Derek or anything...I mean you know I think you're adorable and Derek is hot and together your my fantasy threesome..."
"Yeah, yeah..." Stiles says with a wave of his hand. This is typical of Vanessa's flirtation sort of. Normally she isn't so hesitant though. "You're hot for our bodies, whatever that bitch is mine and I'm not sharing."
"Uhmmm, that's the thing. The sharing? Derek tweeted a picture I don't think he meant to? Is his instagram associated with his twitter account?" Vanessa says.
Stiles throws the groceries in the cart with one hand whilst dialing Derek on the other wondering why he is always the one that has to tell the Werewolf all the bad news.