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Improbable Cause

Chapter 4 – Slaying Ghosts

A/N: No rating change for this chapter. Seems this pair had more to say. Next one's 'M', I promise.

They stare helplessly at one another, smiles splitting their faces, their eyes locked, neither willing to break the connection they're sharing right now, both hearts hammering so hard Kate swears she can hear their syncopated rhythm in the quiet of the loft.

Because Kate Beckett finally told Richard Castle that she loves him, is in love with him, and god but it feels so good to get that off her chest. Almost as good as it feels for him to hear it.

Castle's hand is still outstretched towards her but she hasn't moved the foot or so it would take to reach him. So when she says, "I should probably…" with a teasing lilt to her voice and a jerk of her head towards the front door, he lunges, reaching out for her fingers without even leaving his chair.

"Kate, get over here," he growls, the words catching on a choke of emotion, finally snagging her hand and reeling her in until she is standing between his legs, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders as he wraps his arms around her middle and lays his head against her stomach.

It's a comforting, yet possessive, position, and she finds that she likes it, she really, really likes it; the security of his embrace, the feel of his fingers tickling her sides, his ear pressed against her belly as if listening there.

She smoothes her hands down his back, sweeps them across his shoulder blades, soothing, dissolving some of the tension she finds in his muscles in the process as she bows over him, wrapping her body around him, leaning down to press a light kiss to the back of his neck.

When she finally stands up straight again, she runs her fingers through his hair since he seems in no hurry to let go of her just yet.

"Castle," she whispers finally, gently easing out of his arms, her fingers tracing the shell of his ear. "I need to call your mom, let her know the coast is clear to come home. And then I should probably go back to my…"

"Kate. Please?" he whines, sliding his hands around her waist again to hold her there. "I told myself when we got together that I would never beg you to stay, but screw that. I've kept my mouth shut one too many times in the past when I should have spoken up, when it would have been for the best…"

"Oh, and me staying here, tonight…with you…that's for the best, is it?" she asks, laughing at him when he pouts up at her, so damned adorable. "Best for whom?"

"Make it worth your while," he promises, grinning slyly at her now, hands wandering south to palm the twin mounds of her ass as he tugs her closer, blows a raspberry against her stomach making her giggle and squirm.

He squeezes her buttocks lightly and his eyebrows shoot up in suggestion.

"Oh, really?" she says, sliding his hands back up to a safer location.

"Mmm-hmm," he replies, nodding, all super-cocky confidence and twinkling eyes now, his chin pressing into her warm stomach as he looks up at her, fingers dancing across the back of her ribcage like he's playing piano.

"Castle, we still have things we need to talk about," she tries, hoping he'll focus for a second, not wanting to put him off exactly, but needing to capitalize on tonight's forward momentum and her own bout of openness.

"You just told me that you love me, Kate. What more is there to say?" he asks, looking dreamy and adoring as he repeats her words back to her.

"Yes. Yes, I did," she admits, with a smile, tenderly smoothing her thumb over his eyebrow. "And I meant it, every word. But that doesn't fix things, Castle. Not really."

"Does for me," he says, brushing his lips across the soft cotton of her camisole, trying to nudge the edges of the loose, drapey sweater she threw on before coming over here tonight apart with his nose.

"You smell of fresh air and softner," he says, somewhat inanely, and Kate laughs again, shaking her head from side-to-side, cool fingertips affectionately stroking the back of his head as he nuzzles against her, seeking out more of her warmth and her scent.

"Are you sure you didn't touch that Scotch?" she asks, nails scratching lightly at his scalp to get his attention.

The gesture fails, only ends up with him closing his eyes to her touch and purring like a kitten against her stomach.

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" she asks, sighing and giving in to him, like she really has any option after the day's emotional drama. They both need to stay close tonight.

"Not going to let you go, you mean," he corrects, grasping her more firmly all of a sudden before he rises from his chair, hoisting her into the air as he stands and she squeals, clutching onto his shoulders for balance.

"Castle, if you drop me, I swear to God…"

"Never, Kate. I've got you," he reassures her, and they both understand that he means more than this moment, this perfect moment.

He has one large hand splayed at the small of her back, while his other hand is lifting one of her thighs and wrapping it around his waist. She takes the hint and wraps her other leg around him too, allowing him to carry her through to his bedroom without a fight before he does them both an injury.

He deposits her gently on the bed, towering over her as she goes down against the mattress, and then, with the hard length of his body pressing into her, his knees between her open thighs and one hand resting either side of her head, he kisses her. And when his mouth touches hers, she feels it; so much more give in the kiss than before, so much more love and openness and trust. And her heart sings knowing that she was the one to put these feelings there.

Maybe she's better at this than she thought.

He pulls away before she can enjoy herself too much, and he smirks at her confusion as she chases after his mouth, gently swiping her lips with his thumb before he grasps her hands to pull her upright again.

"Okay, miss. You wanted to talk. We can talk," he says, trying to take her lead and do this the right way for a change, because so far her way is working out way better than his at moving them forward in leaps and bounds.

"Rick, I really should call your mom."

Castle wanders over to his closet, grabs a t-shirt out of the drawer and then comes back over to her.

"Call my mom, put this on, get comfortable, and then we can talk."

"And where are you going?" she asks, holding his pale blue, baby-soft cotton shirt to her chest as he makes to leave the room.

"You love me, Kate," he says, holding up his hands in a gesture of simplicity, shrugging his shoulders as he walks backwards out of the room. "That calls for Champagne."

When he comes back in, Kate is sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed, a stack of pillows at her back. She's wearing his shirt and not much else, just hanging up with Martha, sincere words of thanks on her lips, when he approaches the bed with an ice bucket containing a bottle of Billecart Salmon Rosé Champagne, and, in the other hand, two crystal champagne flutes.

"So, you weren't kidding about the Champagne, I see?"

"There are two things I never joke about, Kate – sex with you and good alcohol."

"That looks more like great alcohol."

"It is. I just didn't want to brag."

"About the sex or the booze?" she fires back.

"Oh, very funny. You're on form tonight, Beckett."

"Yeah, and I'm sorry to do this to you, but I'm going to have to get serious again for a moment."

"Aww, Kate," he grumbles, expertly pouring two glasses of blush pink fizz.

"Castle, you're still a suspect in a murder investigation."

"Oh yeah," he says, that fact just dawning on him as he turns to hand her a glass. "What are we going to do about that?"

"Well, I know I said a long time ago that I'd break you out of jail, but I'd really rather it didn't come to that. So, I propose that we go into the Precinct first thing tomorrow, and I recuse myself from the case, cite a conflict of interest, and then we firm up on your alibi for Friday night."

"What? No!"

"Castle, are you kidding me? If we don't do this you could go to jail for the rest of your life."

"But I didn't do it," he says, settling on the bed facing her, and for a second she almost laughs, because how many times over the years has she heard those same words come out of a suspect's mouth as if saying them is all it takes to make for innocence.

"I know that. But the evidence says otherwise, and your best chance of changing Ryan and Esposito's minds about the facts as they see them right now is to come clean about where you were Friday night."

"But I thought you wanted to keep this – us – private. Kate, if I do this, it'll expose our relationship and it might even end our partnership."

"Castle, if you don't do this all of that will be a mute point."

"You mean you wouldn't wait for me if I was sent down for twenty-five years? You wound me, Beckett," he clowns, clutching at his chest.

"Castle, this is serious. Don't even joke about that. The way I see it, we wanted privacy until we figured out exactly what this was between us. I'd say we've done that already. We're both agreed that we're in this, right? Committed?" she asks, meeting his eyes with a steady, unflinching look.

He's so earnest when he looks back at her that it makes her heart vault.

"Ah, yeah, definitely. All in. But, are you sure? I mean…?"

"Castle, just go with it. We go in there tomorrow and we explain that you were with me Friday night, at my apartment…all night. Their jaws will hit the floor, Gates will probably throw a party now that she has a legitimate reason to throw you out…"

Castle goes to speak but Kate holds up a hand to stop him.

"Ah…but, but, but…" says Kate, trying to halt his interruption. "I will strenuously resist any efforts to have you removed, don't worry. And after we've laid our cards on the table, I will encourage the boys to work on the precept that your fingerprints were planted at the scene, and that the jewelry you were seen buying was in fact…"

"For you," Castle finishes for her, stroking the back of her hand.

"Castle, you do know you don't have to buy me gifts," says Kate, going off at a bit of a tangent.

"I do. But this was for our anniversary. And I wanted to get you something special."

"You're really sweet," she says, blushing a little as she ducks her head.

When she looks back up, he's watching her again. So she clinks glasses with him and then sinks back into the pillows, a pensive, faraway look on her face.

"I know that look, Katherine Beckett. What's going on inside that beautiful head of yours?" Castle asks, wrapping his fingers around her bare ankle.

Kate sighs, toying with the hem of the pillowcase to buy some time, and then looks up at him from beneath her long lashes.

"You're not going to like this."

"Hey, no man ever likes any conversation that is preceded by the words 'we need to talk'. But I figure that since you just told me you love me, then you're not about to break up with me," he grins, so sure of himself that Kate finds herself shaking her head at him, a helpless grin of her own on her face.

"Your ex-wives," she begins, to pull him back into line, laying her chin on her knee so she can watch his face as they talk about this, a much-needed discussion she's been avoiding for weeks.

"Oh boy," says Castle, taking a healthy swig of Champagne before bracing himself for whatever's coming next.

"Mmm," hums Kate. "That keen to talk about it, huh?"

"Would you be keen to talk about Dr. Motorcycle Boy?" he asks, challenging her right back.

"I didn't marry him, Rick," she points out. "In fact, I broke up with him as soon as I knew your feelings for me."

"Well, I was divorced when I met you."

"Twice, and it didn't stop you revisiting both ex-wives since we've known one another. Deep-fried Twinkie was the phrase as I seem to recall."

Castle makes a distasteful face.

"Kate, what do you want me to tell you? I made two colossal mistakes, years ago, before I even met you. If I had my time over, I'd have waited for you."

"Now you're just poking fun at me, Castle," she says, swatting him on the arm. "We both know that isn't true. You hate to be alone. No way you would have waited until I came along."

"I waited years for you, Kate. Okay, so I screwed up near the end, but only because I thought you didn't feel the same way about me. And, you forget I had to watch you date other guys while we both knew there was more going on between us than some…work partnership thing."

"Fair point," concedes Kate. "I just…do you know why your marriages failed?" she asks quietly, wondering how far she can push this.

Castle sits up straighter in bed, thinks sincerely about her question for about a minute, and then he rubs a hand down over his face before replying.

"Honestly?"

"That would be a start."

"I was a different person back then. Immature."

Kate snorts out a laugh, her eyebrows shooting up, but he just glares at her, eyes narrowed, before continuing.

"As I was saying, before you so rudely interrupted me, I was more immature back then. Lonely, desperate for female company as you so elegantly just pointed out. But above all, I think I made the wrong choice of partner on both counts. Meredith was only ever supposed to be someone I was dating. It was never that serious. But when Alexis came along it turned into something more far too quickly. I tried to turn it into something more, to give both Alexis and myself the traditional two-parent family with roses over the door that I thought I had missed out on growing up. You saw me as some Page 6 playboy when you met me, but I'm really a traditional soul at heart. And it turns out, having one good, committed parent, is way better than having two bad ones who don't really belong together."

Kate nods thoughtfully, accepting his answer, grateful for his openness.

"And Gina? How does she fit in there?"

"Gina is a great person; professional, kind, attractive, smart. But she probably falls into that convenience category. We made sense, as a couple, on paper – we worked together, we were both single, so why the hell not?"

"But you married her, Rick. There must have been more to it than that," insists Kate.

"I'm a romantic at heart, like I said. You know that. But if you're asking did I love her? The answer is that I thought I did at the time, but in the end, we weren't right for one anther, so I guess I really didn't. Eventually I drove her crazy and she got on my nerves."

Kate laughs, easing the tension a little.

"I can relate," she says, ducking back, away from the hand that reaches out to pinch her side.

"What about you? Why'd you never end up making it down the aisle?" asks Castle, since they're laying all their cards on the table and he has wondered exactly this on more than one occasion. "I mean, look at you, Kate. You're gorgeous. What sane man wouldn't want to marry you? You'd make one hell of a bride."

"Maybe I'm not the marrying kind," suggests Kate lightly, shrugging her shoulders and trying to be off-hand about it, covering her mouth and averting her eyes by taking another sip of champagne. "You ever think of that?"

"Kate. What are we doing here?" he asks, and the ring of disappointment in his voice cuts straight through her.

"What do you mean?" she asks, trying to sound innocent, but already having a pretty good idea what he's getting at.

"We said honest, or there's no point," he reminds her, giving her hand a quick squeeze of encouragement.

"You're right. I'm sorry," she sighs, shifting on the bed so that her knees are drawn up protectively in front her chest, her chin resting against them, the champagne flute dangling from one hand as she begins to answer his question again.

"I guess after my mom died, I got so caught up in fighting through every day just to stay upright. I had to grow up a lot faster than my peer group. That was kind of isolating, you know?" she says, looking at Castle for comprehension, rather than pity. "My life changed overnight and I changed right along with it."

He's watching her the way he does when she starts into a story about her past; like it's the most fascinating thing he's ever heard, and she has his complete attention. He loves the way she opens up to him now, these rare glimpses into her old life that she's started sharing with him more and more.

"Joining The Academy, making my way in a man's world, trying to make detective, and then working to solve her case meant I just didn't have time for a serious relationship. Sure, I dated. But I never really let anyone in; get close enough to know the real me."

She laughs out of embarrassment at what she's about to say, placing her glass on the nightstand, and then looking down at her bare, red-painted toes. She runs a hand nervously through her hair again before looking up at him.

"I swear to God, Castle, when we first met I never though I'd be doing this - sitting here in bed with you, wearing one of your shirts, drinking Champagne and just…talking," she says, letting out a bubble of laughter. "A one night stand, sure that crossed my mind…but this?" she shakes her head as if she can't believe her luck.

"Good surprise or…"

"Like you even have to ask? Or are you just on the hunt for more compliments?" she teases.

"Hey, the odd compliment never hurt anyone," he says, giving her a cheeky grin.

Kate watches him with deep love and affection, her head tilted slightly to the side as she quietly admires his face, before pushing on with this honesty session they're suddenly deep in the middle of.

"You were the first person I ever really shared the details of that awful day with, and I let you see just how it has affected me ever since. Not out of choice to begin with, I have to admit. But you really helped me, Castle. You knew what I needed even when I didn't. I'm so grateful to you for that, for pushing even when I pushed back, for knowing me well enough, for caring enough, to make me hear you."

"Hey, I just wish I could have been around for you at the time," he says, smoothing a comforting hand down her arm. "You and your dad"

"Better late than never, right?" repeats Kate, in an echo of Castle's earlier comment about her 'I love you'.

"Yeah," he agrees a little gruffly, emotion clogging his throat as he nods for her to continue.

"Sure, Royce knew, but that was different. He was my training officer, inside the job. We talked about the facts, but not so much about the emotions that swamp you when something like that happens to you. I think I was scared to let anyone close after my mom. Frightened of losing someone I loved again. And I just never found the right person before…" and she almost backs out of saying it, but a quick intake of breath and the word, "…now. Before now," she repeats, completing the sentence confidently.

Castle's smiling broadly at her, far too delighted with himself for Kate's liking, so she pushes one more time with the question that lies at the heart of her insecurity.

"If you thought you loved Gina, and eventually you realized you were wrong…"

Kate bites her lip, can't quite bring herself to say the rest.

"How do I know that this is real…with you?" he fills in for her. "How do I know we're going to last?"

Kate nods, embarrassed to be asking him, because he could level the same criticism at her, and yet he is always the one with such an abundance of faith in them.

"Because I waited for you, Kate."

He says this as if it's the simplest thing in the world, and maybe it is.

"I don't think I've ever had to wait for anything in life that I really wanted before, that really mattered to me. I either bought it, charmed my way to get it, or I gave up and walked away. You were the one thing I knew I needed to learn patience for, and hard as it was, all the bumps we faced along the way, I only loved you more as time went on and I got to know you better. And since we've been together…" he shakes his head, as if all the recent memories he's re-experiencing as he explains this to her are just blowing his mind, "…everything has been so much better than I could ever have dreamed it, so much easier, happier, more fun. I can't imagine being without you now," he confesses.

Kate covers her mouth with her hand, closes her eyes for a second, needing to gather herself and hold in some of the emotion that's rushing to the surface, pushing to get out.

"I feel that way too," she admits finally, reaching for his hand, lacing her fingers with his.

"So, do you think we might be able to put some of those doubts to rest now?" he asks tentatively, moving closer to her on the bed until their knees are touching.

"How about a toast," Kate suggests instead, raising her glass. "To us and to the future."

"To us," Castle agrees, clinking his glass with hers.

"I'm not saying we need to make this anymore permanent than it already is. I'm in no rush to do that. But, we got through 'I love you' and no one ran screaming from the room."

"Got through? Ever the romantic, Beckett," he says, admonishing her with a headshake and a smile.

"Shut up. You know what I mean. We've come a long way from where we started out, Castle."

"That we have," he agrees, unable to take his eyes off her.

"So…tomorrow. You ready?" she asks, sliding her free hand up along his arm to his shoulder, her fingers starting to tease the back of his neck.

"If you are?"

"The case aside, I think it's time. I hate lying to our friends, and…I'm proud of us, Castle, of what we have together. So, let's debut this thing, and clear up your involvement in this case at the same time."

"Do you have any idea how sexy it is when you show me how sure you are of us?"

"Really?" purrs Kate, a daring light in her eyes as she abandons her Champagne glass to crawl closer to him, reaching out her hand to cup the back of his head, her other hand coming to rest dangerously high up on his thigh.

"Uh-huh," replies Castle, brushing his nose gently across hers in a teasing little Eskimo kiss, still holding her gaze in a way she finds so arousing and intimate that it makes her stomach flip.

"Show me," she whispers, brushing her lips across his as they both shiver in anticipation.

A/N: Still with me? I figured we have a week to go until 5x05, so another chapter wouldn't hurt…? Liv