Disclaimer: The answer's still no!
Improbable Cause
Chapter 5 – The Fear Factor
A/N: Warning: M Rated content and language. This one's for CastleCrazie – yes, I'm naming and shaming! You asked, so…
Castle touches her face. It's the barest, gentlest of touches, and she leans into him, all hint of teasing disappearing as they watch one another do this; put themselves back together again after a hellish few days of stress and suspicion that threatened to tear them apart.
Because, sure, Kate knew where Castle was Friday night, but the fingerprints and the security cam footage from the jewelry store fed straight to her insecurities about how committed he is to her, whether he's completely given up his old life of random women and a love of the limelight. But the look he's giving her right now and the things he's saying with his hands dispel any doubts she might have left after their talk.
Kate realized tonight that she has to stop letting other people's opinions, even her own traitorous inner voice, inside her head. And she needs to start looking at the man in front of her, this man who has changed so much since she's known him. This man who loves her enough that he wanted to spare their relationship from the Precinct gossips even if it meant the cloud of suspicion hung over him long enough that he needed a lawyer until they could figure another way out of this mess.
Bottom line - she needs to trust him more.
They pull back a little, sink against the pile of down pillows, drink some more Champagne in companionable silence, curled up in his bed, knowing that they have all night together, the rest of their lives God willing, to start something more.
Castle tops up their glasses, and Kate giggles when the bubbles from the supremely good Champagne he's been chilling for just such an occasion rush up her nose as she drinks too quickly after he stops pouring.
"Whoa there, Detective," he warns her, taking a more ladylike sip from his own glass.
"You trying to get me drunk, Castle?" she teases, as he watches her over the rim of his crystal flute, drinking faster to catch up with her since he can see she's already getting loose, her eyes shining as the alcohol kicks in, relaxing her. And pretty soon, if things go to form, she'll get frisky and handsy with him, artful with that wicked tongue of hers. Too much and she gets sleepy, but just the right amount and it's hello flirty, sexy Kate. He knows which one he's hoping to see tonight.
Kate sets her glass on the nightstand, seeming to have had enough for now. But Castle keeps on drinking, sliding his hand up and down her bare thigh where it emerges from beneath his impressively short t-shirt and then spreads out, endlessly tan and lithe against the stark white of the sheets on his bed.
"You're sure about tomorrow?" he asks her again, like he's reading her mind as he brushes the hair away from her neck and brings his lips down against the soft, sensitive skin he's just exposed, drawing a moan from her lips in the process.
"Castle, we already talked about this," she manages to get out, her eyes rolling back in her head as he takes her earlobe into his mouth, sucking on it over and over again until she lets out an "Ah shit, that's so good", her fingers clutching at his shoulders to hold the rest of her together.
He drains his second glass, eyes closing as the bubbles speed alcohol into his bloodstream and he starts to feel a little light-headed. He can't remember if he ate dinner, but he's pretty sure he was too depressed back then for food. He could eat a horse right now, but first there's Kate and tomorrow to worry about.
"I just want you to be sure," he tries again, his fingers lightly massaging the elegant arch at the base of her skull, working out the tension in her trapezius with his talented hands.
"I…oh God, do that again," she moans, dropping her chin onto her chest to give him better access to her neck.
He hums softly to himself as he works on her, enjoying her pleasure as much as she is. The alcohol takes all the tension out of his own body, but it also makes him feel a little on edge, aware of something, something troubling at the edge of his consciousness – a feeling he can't quite place. A fear.
"I'm sure, Castle. Of you, of us…don't worry. It'll be fine," she adds, pulling herself together enough to twist round and face him. "I'll give up my badge if I have to," she whispers quietly, before running her tongue along his jawline, pressing tiny, delicate kisses to his smooth skin in its wake.
She's completely undoing him tonight – giving him so much – and it's starting to scare him; just how much he loves her, how big this all feels, how important.
"I love you," she says again, brushing her lips across his with the lightness of a feather. "Just focus on that. Okay? We'll be fine," she reassures him, kissing him more soundly, though there's a gentleness to her that gathers him up and makes him ache for her in a whole new way; like they're sharing this intimacy for the first time all over again.
And something inside of him breaks; a crack, a fissure opening up, and the fear floods in; fear that he'll lose her one day, not to another man, but to a bullet, or a knife, or some crazed perp he isn't there to protect her from.
His heart starts to pound with the coalescing of this fear and her beautiful words; these new, oft desired, barely hoped for words she's finally able to say, and his blood begins to thrum in his veins hearing her repeat them again with her body pressed so close to his, the alcohol only serving to heighten everything.
Castle feels the strong jolt of arousal when she touches him again, whispering her love against his skin, and the effect she's having on him…it's so urgent, so overwhelming, that he needs her now, needs to possess her now; to know, to reassure himself that this is real, that she's here right in front of him. He needs to be surrounded by her, in her, on her, right now or…
Kate is shocked when Castle's arms encircle her and he half-tackles her to the mattress. One of his thighs presses down between hers forcing her legs apart, and she can feel the rock-hard length of him pushing insistently against her thigh muscle.
He wraps one large hand around her wrist, and then gathers up the other one, securing them both above her head, while he uses his teeth to pull up her shirt, exposing the soft, taut skin of her abdomen. He sinks down from his kneeling position to press his mouth against her bare stomach, before his tongue and teeth set to work laving the skin around her belly button, drawing a shuddering moan from her lips. He moves south, frantic kisses running up the soft, sensitive skin of her inner thigh, then along the line of her underwear, making her head spin as a stream of sensations come rapidly, one after the other, flooding her senses, and utterly confusing her.
Kate is writhing beneath his touch, still a little surprised as this turn of events. Everything about tonight has been slow and open and gentle and exposing. And now a rush of lust or fear or something else entirely seems to have taken hold of Castle, and he's like a man possessed.
He nudges her legs wider apart, hands still held firmly above her head, and then he manages to whip off his own shirt and pull down his boxers with his one free hand, so that he's naked above her.
Kate's eyes cut from his face to the impressive erection bobbing just above her stomach, and she arches up off the bed, her own arousal intensifying; a tight fist of pain building low down in her belly. Her hips make a slow roll against the mattress in anticipation as she glances back up to find Castle's face, to look into his eyes, to connect with him like they always do.
But he seems far away, his eyes slightly wild, anxious and agitated, and before Kate can utter a word he has two fingers inside her underwear, sliding through the clear, juicy slick of her arousal, and then just as swiftly he pulls them out again, confusing and frustrating her. But in the next second, he palms his own cock, smearing her juice around its tip, and then he moves her underwear roughly to one side instead of taking time to remove her panties, and she cries out as he pushes into her suddenly, without warning, and he grunts when his cock hits home and Kate's tight body stretches to surround him.
"Oh fuck," he groans, hips immediately starting to buck, thrusting up into her in an almost viscous, relentless rhythm, giving her no time to adjust or catch up.
Kate lets him take the lead, still a little confused. They've talked about how she sometimes likes it a little rough, likes him to take her, control things. But she's not entirely sure that's what this is. He seems disconnected from her, almost as if she isn't there at all. But this is Castle, and she knows he would never intentionally hurt her, so she still feels safe, even if the sex is more urgent and forceful than it is loving.
When he rolls them both onto their sides and hoists her uppermost thigh high up around his ribcage, her calf resting on his shoulder, still not making any eye contact with her, continuing to thrust his hips hard against her pubic bone in a move that has her crying out with every thrust, Kate finds herself just going with it, not questioning what's going on here. Richard Castle's muscular body had taken over, he loves her, she loves him, and her mind hazes out as a wash of newly heightened arousal accompanies that thought.
She pushes up into the next thrust of his hips, her nails digging into his biceps as she fights to hold on, to ride this out right along with him.
"Jesus, Castle," she pants, licking at her dry lips, as her breath comes in short, burning bursts when he begins to roam her body with his hands, her mind shattering into a million tiny pieces as he touches her everywhere.
He runs his hand down her spine, trailing his fingers over the dip at the small of her back, and then he continues on even lower until he reaches her tailbone. He has her nearly split in two, with one leg hoisted up so high and the other lying straight down the bed, pinned in place by his own even longer limb. So when he ghosts his fingertips down over her coccyx and into the sensitive spot between her parted buttocks she hisses and then whines, an absolute shock of pleasure rippling through her, forcing her hips arching up into his once more when his fingers reach the place that they are joined. And then her body gives in, it gives into the wave of pure ecstasy coursing through her from this intimate touch, and she comes with a startled scream of his name just barely contained within her throat.
The shock of her powerful orgasm triggers his. Her body bowing down to the pleasure he has just forced from her sends him over the edge, and he spills into her again and again, his face contorted by the sweet agony of his release as she shatters around him.
Then silence settles once more, broken only by their heavy breathing and thundering hearts.
Kate watches Castle's face with concern as he slowly comes back to himself, returning to the quiet of the bedroom as if he'd just spent the last five minutes in a trance.
He looks down at Kate, sees the rumpled t-shirt he roughly tugged up, baring her stomach and one of her breasts, looks further down to where he's still buried inside her, and sees her underwear pulled haphazardly to one side.
"What…?" he mumbles, licking at his parched lips, as a bead of sweat trickles down the side of his face and then courses on over his neck, pooling at the base of his throat.
"Hey. You okay?" asks Kate, softly kissing his cheek, and gently stroking her hand through his hair. "Kinda lost you there for a moment," she tells him, concerned by the confusion she sees on his face.
He withdraws slowly, and as he does so, Kate guides him down to rest against her shoulder, draping a leg across his thigh, holding him close, trying to ignore the burn his withdrawal leaves in the soft tissue between her legs.
"Kate, what just happened?" he asks, sounding wary and guilty.
"You zoned out a little. I…I'm not completely sure. But you were…you were pretty…um…enthusiastic," she says, not wanting to alarm him or make him feel anymore guilty than he already seems to.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asks, trying to raise himself up on one elbow to see her face.
"Shhh," hushes Kate, keeping him in place, nestled against her, wrapped up in her arms. "You're just a little anxious, I think. No harm done."
"You're sure? That's never happened…I mean I've never…Oh God, Kate. If I hurt you…?"
"Rick, you didn't," she says firmly. "I can take care of myself. You're just a little spacy, that's all. Once we sort things out tomorrow you'll be fine," she says, trying to reassure him and hoping that's all this is; a reaction to the stress he's been under.
"I can't lose you," he blurts, rubbing his hand over his eyes, embarrassed, but unable to stop the words from coming. "I love you. I can't lose you now. Not when everything is so good between us."
Not for the first time, Kate wonders just what lasting effect watching her almost die in the back of an ambulance has had on him? If maybe she isn't the only one suffering from the after shocks of that day. She had control of her recovery, even though it was brutally hard, while he had nothing but silence, bad memories, and a broken heart.
"You're not going to lose me, Castle," she reassures him, kissing the top of his head. "We'll fix this, you and me, and then no more hiding. Okay? Now, I think we should get some sleep. You good to sleep?" she asks, pulling the sheet up over them, beginning to stroke his hair again to settle him down.
She feels him relax after a few moments, his body getting heavier against hers, a dead weight. When he starts to snore, she eases herself out from under him, makes her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth and pee. Her make-up is smeared, and there's a livid purplish mark on her collarbone when she checks herself out in the mirror. She washes her face, drops a couple of Tylenol for the Champagne headache she can feel coming on, and then she goes back to bed.
Castle is sprawled out on his back, his mouth hanging open, fingers clutching the sheet to his chest like a sleepy child. Kate sets the alarm on her phone for six, and then climbs into bed bedside her partner, gently easing him onto his side to halt the snoring and prevent him from waking up with a sore throat. She watches him sleep until her own eyes start to droop, and then she crawls alongside him, feeding on his warmth as she sends herself off to sleep by planning out the speech she'll have to deliver at work tomorrow in an effort to save his skin.
"I love you," are the last words she speaks in the dark of his bedroom, an echoing "me too" coming back to her from the drowsy man by her side.
A/N: So, I wanted to do something a little different with this M chapter, something a little edgier. Hope it worked? Or I can always flee the country, I guess. People have asked to see their big exposé at work, so that'll be the next chapter. We have time, and it's not like we're going to run out of paper! ;) Liv