Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own Supernatural or the characters. However I do own the AU universe and the OCs. The universe of Silthrims and Royalia are mine.

The story is UnBeta'd as of now. Apologies for all errors.

A/N : Hi again everybody…So Sorry for being sooo late…. I have tried to write up on Bloody Mary … this chapter would be a beginning sort of… but its really tough trying to twist an existing/original storyline, so I don't know if I am going to do so great… actually am pretty tensed… I actually changed the chapter around like thrice and still don't know if this looks okay… let me know what you think!

Thanks for reading/reviewing/alerting/ adding it to your fav lists… u give me the guts to face my fears head on and publish new chappies… so thank you all so much!

Happy reading!

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Panic Attack!

When Ryan woke next morning, he felt better… and lucid… which was SO not good… His brothers seemed to pounce on him once they understood he was doing better. They were getting on his nerves… he had tried everything to avoid their questions and finally resorted to pleading…

"Can we not discuss this, now?"

"Nope, you have to do the honors … now, Ry…"

Ryan sighed. "But there's nothing to it…"

"Oh puh-leeze, cut the crap! We saw what happened… so please explain…"

"Fine" Ryan was exasperated but he had to find a way. "I could hear what Andrea heard… and it hurt a lot!"

"You heard Peter's spirit…?" Dean and Sam exchanged looks and scowled.

"Yeah, what's the big deal about it…? Andrea heard it too."

"Umm… that's 'coz he was drowning her…"

"It's no big deal, guys…stranger things happen…"

"Yeah… they do… but not to us… I mean, not like this."

"Really?" Ryan started but then stopped himself with a sigh. "Looks, I don't know what happened but maybe Peter somehow got to me… maybe he wanted us dead 'coz we were helping them out…"

"Only you heard him."

"So maybe he was targeting us one by one… maybe he already knew I wasn't doing so well… that I was weak … Dean, Sammy, am telling you … it's no big deal…I guess he was angry that we tried to stop him…"

From their looks he could tell they weren't convinced. "Okay, fine… so what else do you think it was…! May be you should call Missouri and tell her I'm a psychic or something…"

Matt snorted at that… Dean and Sam didn't comment. They were concerned over whatever had happened.

"Look guys, I'm telling you… its nothing… and if it was something, I'd have told you… Am not as brave as you are Dean…"

"If you're talking about that hell flight, I'd advise you to STOP but I think we could give Missouri or Bobby a call…or maybe even Dad." As soon as he had said it, he wanted to kick himself but the damage was done. Matt was scowling and Ryan had gone shades paler and Sam, well if looks could kill, Dean would have been lying in a dead heap … Ryan's breath hitched. "Ry, I didn't mean to… I am so sorry…"

Maybe it was because he was sick or maybe he had had enough with John, Ryan lost it then and there… "NO, you go ahead and tell him… tell him I'm tapping into ghosts now… and he'll think I'm a monster…" He was shaking all over, an age-old fear blinding him.

"What? No, he wouldn't…!"

"Really? Well, try him, Dean… go ahead and call him… if you miss him so much, tell him what happened…" Ryan was seething. They were stumped - they had never seen Ryan fly off the handle before… not like that.

"Ryan, calm down… you're not well…!"

"Calm down…? You wan' me to calm down… do you know what he did… what he did to me…to Mattie? You're always talking about him… you and Sammy… maybe you need him more than us… Well, do give him a call and he'll finish us off for good!" Fear and anger swept through him… he could hardly feel anything else…

Dean knew he was treading on treacherous ground but he needed to calm Ryan down… he was starting to hyperventilate. "Ryan, Ry, listen, am not gonna call Dad… just please calm down…"

"Stop telling me what I'm supposed to do! You don't know him… you don't anything about him! He hates me… he wants me dead…! "

Sam knew a panic attack when he saw one and he understood the urgency in Dean's voice. He tried to touch Ryan reassuringly. Ryan jumped back as if electrocuted. "Ry, you're just panicking… listen to us… we won't call Dad…!"

Ryan really felt like crying… he could hardly hear what they were saying but every time they said Dad or John, it was like a blow to him. He slid down to the floor gasping for air… For a moment, blackness engulfed him… if John came to know about him hearing Peter… he knew what would happen … what John was capable of… he felt himself suffocating… someone was choking him… And then the mist seemed to clear a little…Dean was telling him something… "Easy, Ry… I'm sorry, bro… we won't call Dad… just breathe okay…breathe… am so sorry… please…"

"He will kill me Dean… he hates me…" Ryan thought he heard himself squeak. Gawd! He sounded worse than a girl…

"No… no one will hurt you, Ry…I promise… forget it… please just calm down…breathe… with me…okay…."

Ryan did follow Dean's direction and soon felt cool air entering his lungs… he savored it and then found himself in Dean's arms... He was calm enough to go deep red… his brothers, if they saw anything, hardly commented… Sam was busy drawing circles on his back and Matt held his hand…Dean was using the voice he reserved for them when they were little kids… Ryan could feel his cheeks burning… Slowly he pushed them away… "'m fine… sorry… I just…"

"Hey it's okay… I'm sorry too… I just… we were worried about you, k?"

"But trust me Dean… it's nothing… seriously…"

"Okay… okay… just don't get excited again… come on lie down and rest for a while… We'll be moving tomorrow morning…"

"We're leaving?" Matt really wanted to steer towards a new direction.

"Yeah, Bobby called on the way back here…" Dean played along as he and Sam helped Ryan to bed… the color was coming back to his face.

"Where are we going?"

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"You're an idjit, Dean… what the hell were ya thinkin'?"

"B-but Bobby, come on its not normal… even by our standards…" Dean was indignant.

"Really and what exactly is normal by Winchester standard, boy?" Bobby wasn't at all pleased. "Stop fooling around your brother, boy… leave the kid be…" He had to somehow get Dean off their backs because Bobby knew what was happening to Ryan… at least he could guess it to a great extent… from whatever he remembered of Maya… and the way John acted and what the boys had told him… he had read between the lines and done some research on his own… hell, he'd even thought about seeking out Missouri… but in the end he didn't have to… He just needed to keep Dean off Ryan's back..

"Bobby, come on, don't tell me it doesn't worry you…!"

It does… it worried him sick… everyday… "Dean, you idjit… Peter was a spirit… he wasn't a normal human being… demons… ghosts … spirits… they do stuff… so maybe he'd singled Ryan out… I don't give a rat's ass 'bout that… what worries me though is the fact that you keep bring up John in front of Ryan and Matt… "

"Come on, Bobby… what is wrong with you? We are searching for Dad… so obviously he comes up…They knew what they were getting into…"

"Yet they went… did it occur to you two boneheads that maybe they are scared to death and the only reason they are staying on is 'coz you two mean the world to them, huh?"

That silenced whatever Dean had to say.

"Stop freaking them out and get on with the case… and Dean, try not to bring John up before them…"

Dean sighed… He wasn't convinced… He was still concerned about Ryan but he knew the older hunter's logic was rational, so he decided to let it go…for now…"Yeah… okay… thanks, Bobby."

Bobby, on his part, heaved a sigh of relief…

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Why Sam?

Sam woke with a start. Dean had been shaking him… He took a shaky breath and looked about him. Ryan was sleep … he seemed to be doing that a lot lately… and Dean and Matt were looking at him with deep concern. He sighed. "I take it I was having a nightmare."

"Yeah, another one" Matt was worried for Sammy and Ryan.

"Hey, at least I got some sleep."

"You know, sooner or later we're gonna have to talk about this." And Dean meant to keep his word.

Sam really needed to change the subject. "Are we here?"

"Yup, welcome to Toledo, Ohio." Matt said cheerfully.

Sam picked up the newspaper. The circled news read Shoemaker, Steven- The Shoemaker family is sad to announce the sudden death of their beloved husband and father, Steven Shoemaker. Steven was 46. A short service will be held on Wednesday…

"So what do you think really happened to him?"

"That's what we're gonna find out. Let's go. Stay, boy…"Dean grinned at Matt's red face. "Guard duty…" He said motioning towards the sleeping Ryan. "Let's go, Sammy."

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"You know, for once, I'm glad I accompanied you to the morgue… I mean liquefied eyeballs… geez!" Matt shuddered. "That's not something I ever want to see…"

"Well, the morgue technician was almost gleeful… Man, I haven't seen anyone so excited about describing odd deaths…" Sam somehow stopped himself from shuddering. "I'm telling you, dude, it seemed wrong on so many levels. And he emptied a huge chunk of my… I mean… our wallet." Sam corrected himself with a look from Dean… Dean wasn't at all pleased…. He had lost his poker win to that greedy scumball…

"Feel like we're underdressed…" Dean said, eyeing the people in black suits and dresses…

They ask around and are pointed to the daughters…well, daughters and friends…

"You must be Donna, right?" Dean asked gently.

"Yeah."

"Hi uh—we're really sorry" Sam knew how much a loss could hurt.

"Thank you"

"I'm Sam, this is Dean, Matt. We worked with your dad."

"You did?" She wasn't convinced.

"Yeah. This whole thing. I mean, a stroke."

"I don't think she really wants to talk about this right now." Her blonde friend cuts in curtly.

"It's okay. I'm okay"

Dean paused for a while. "Were there any symptoms? Dizziness? Migraines?"

"No."

"That's because it wasn't a stroke." The younger daughter, turned around…

"Lily don't say that."

"What?" Sam's curious.

"I'm sorry, she's just upset." Donna shrugged it off .

"No, it happened because of me." Lily is near tears, waves of guilt rolling off her.

"Sweetie, it didn't"

Sam got down on his knees, to be at her eye level… "Lily, why would you say something like that?"

"Right before he died, I said it."

"You said what?" Matt asked, intrigued.

"Bloody Mary- Three times in the bathroom mirror. She took his eye, that's what she does."

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TBC

"We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can fly only by embracing each other."
-Lucian de Crescenzo.

I really never had any panic attacks so I guess I haven't been able to describe it so well… if you find any discrepancies, please overlook… but also let me know so that I don't make the same mistake again. Hope you all liked it. Will eagerly wait to hear from you all…. Tell me anything you like…. I would love to hear from you! And if you all simply detest this chappy, do let me know, I can go ahead and try to redo it…

Keep smiling as always….

Till next time.

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