"Let's go to the park!" Exclaimed Ray as he practically burst from his seat. He threw a handful of coins onto the table and walked to the door, waiting eagerly for us to follow him. I emitted a small laugh as I got out of my seat and walked towards him, before turning back to look at Gerard. Our eyes locked and he made no effort to look away as he approached. Neither did I. As I've said before, I could get lost in Gerard's eyes.
Ray opened the door for us and we began to walk down the street surrounded by a comfortable silence. Gerard's eyes had broken contact with mine for less than five seconds before he blurted out. "My eyes feel pregnant!" He looked confused by his own words and made a deliberate effort not to look at either me or Ray.
"You know, I thought I'd gotten used to your…" I searched my brain for word that best described Gerard's…well, Gerard. Individuality? No, that sounded like a thinly veiled insult. Eccentricities? Yes. Gerard was eccentric, no doubt about it. "…Your eccentricities." The word fitted perfectly. "But it just gets better, doesn't it?" I smiled demurely at Gerard after my statement.
A familiar blush I've become acquainted with rose to his cheeks yet again, and he stuffed his hands deep into his pockets. You can tell a lot about a person's mood, reactions, and themselves in general from their hands. Probably why he subconsciously hid his. He doesn't want me to see his reaction, which is more than likely slight embarrassment. Or maybe something else, I'm not sure.
I distract myself from trying to analyse Gerard's mannerisms by speaking To Ray. "So Ray, where exactly are we going?" I asked, facing him. Suddenly, he stopped facing towards us, arms outstretched in a 'You-shall-not-pass' fashion.
"The park!" He exclaimed just like before, as if it were completely obvious. I was sort of expecting something a little more specific, but I went along with it anyways.
"The park?" I asked acting shocked. "The park?!" I repeated, louder this time. "Shock! Horror! Swings!" I exclaimed, pressing my hands too my cheeks.
"Yeah!" Ray grinned happily. "On we go. Quick march!" He grabbed our wrists and began to pull us towards his fabled and beloved park. He was practically stomping too!
Gerard turned to me, smiling. " Well isn't this form of transport novel!" I could see a mischievous glint in his eye as he spoke.
"Yes Jeeves!" I said, throwing a British accent in there for good measure. "We have no need for the horse and carriage!" I raised my eyebrows while grinning.
He looked at me in slight awe. "How do you manage a proper posh British accent? I always end up sounding like a cowboy asshole."
"Well, that is my favourite type of asshole…" I winked cheekily at Gerard, knowing full well just what sort of reaction I'll have on him. He looked like he was about to squeal and he began hyperventilating a little due to 'shock'. I just raised my eyebrows yet again. I'm pretty sure I use my eyebrows to show gestures, instead of my hands like most people do. Or maybe I just raise them whenever Gerard does something cute. Which is a hell of a lot of the time.
Ray looked over his shoulder at us, disgruntled. "What do you guys eat?! Seriously!" He rolled his eyes as he whined. Gerard brushed the comment off as if he never heard it, but I looked to the floor to hide my vibrant blushing cheeks.
"I, uh…Vegetarian. Weigh Less. Or I should do. Or something." I mumbled almost inaudibly. I hate my weight, and now I felt guilty for Ray since he had to pull Gerard as well as a chubby little guitar player to a kids park.
No rest for the wicked it seems.
"Oooh, almost there!" Ray cheered and pointed to the park. It was sort of small ; Just a line of swings, a slide, a seesaw, monkey bars and a large patch of grass in the centre. Pretty awesome to be honest. Then again, anything with swings is awesome. I seriously, seriously love swings.
"Gah, Let's skip!" Gerard cried suddenly, grabbing my wrist. He looked like he had been vehemently trying to suppress the urge to do that. I looked at him, observing the pure excitement etched onto his face; He was adorable.
"Let's go Ray!" I shouted to him over my shoulder before breaking into a skipping gait. "We're skipping! Woo!"
As we breezed through the park I could hear one seriously heavy-footed Ray running behind us. I'm surprised I've never noticed just how loud his steps are before. Probably because he's never ran after me, which is good because I'm not too keen on heavy-footed people chasing me.
He finally caught up, before stopping and bending over slightly, resting both hands on his knees. "You-" He had to pause to regain his breath. "You two are perfectly insane."
We were sat on the large circle of grass in the centre of the park, Gerard in the middle and me and Ray either side of him. I could hear Gerard rustling beside us, deciding to move every other minute. I'm usually deathly still when I'm lying anywhere that isn't a bed, no idea why. After a couple minutes it sounded like Gerard had settled, and I felt the unmistakable prickle of someone's eyes trained on my face. I could just feel that Gerard was looking at me. It was weird because I could see him from the very corner of my peripheral vision, and I started to blush a little because Gerard's stare was so… well, as if he were completely enamoured. But I'm not someone to be enamoured with. I'm small and hyper and a little insane and I've got seven times as many insecurities as the average teen. I'm not what someone should want. I'm no good at relationships. I've got more miserably unsuccessful romances than you could shake a proverbial stick at, which obviously means I'm not cut out for it. I try, I try so hard to be something somebody wants. I want to be the something Gerard wants. So much.
I don't know what convinced me to do it, but I brushed my hand against Gerard's, asking for silent permission to hold his. He relaxes his fingers and I place mine within the spaces and clutch borderline desperately, interlocking our hands. I'm focusing on my breathing. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Don't freak out. Exhale. You've got a chance. Inhale. You're holding his hand. Aaaand Exhale.
"Frank, if my lubricated hand is making you feel uncomfortable you can let go you know." Gerard flustered. I hadn't even noticed he was sweating. I probably am too. Bucket loads.
" I wouldn't let go for the world." I whispered as I placed my other hand on his cheek. He's so beautiful. So…I'm not even sure there is a word to describe how perfect he is. His face is exquisite, perfectly proportioned. He looks so innocent. Sometimes he acts innocent, naïve, too. I mean, who describes their sweaty palm as being 'Lubricated'?! But he's got this air about him that makes him seem almost…otherworldly, I suppose. He's so sophisticated, so mature at the same time as being innocent. You can tell he's clever. A genius even. Not a textbook, school-curriculum genius though. A real genius. A creative genius. The sort who sees the hidden things, the inferences and every single little detail. The sort who can make something from nothing. The one who conquers their fears with thought and willpower alone.
Speaking of fears…
"Unless it was full of spiders." I shuddered at the mention of those creepy-ass things.
"What?" His brow furrowed in confusion.
"That's the only situation I wouldn't hold your hand in…"
"What if I was holding an animal carcass, or the severed head of my brother? Or if Ray was naked and I was-" I decided to stop him before his imagination took him too far. It was almost as if you could see the cogs whirring behind his eyes, churning out a handful of new scenarios every second.
I sat up and batted Gerard with my hand. "Gee dear, don't fret."
"Oi!" He yelled, trying to look angry but failing. I looked up and caught sight of the swings. I really freaking love swings.
"Let's go on the swings! Let's go on the swings!" I shouted, practically jumping out of my skin.
Both Ray and Gerard leapt up with me, and we all sprinted towards the swings. I'm the fastest, probably due to my oh-so-aerodynamic height. How about that, Ray? I may be heavy, but I can run faster than you and your fro which is practically pushing you backwards it's so un-aerodynamic!
I heard a 'Damn you guys!' as I sprang onto the far swing and as I looked over to Gerard I saw he had only just arrived at the designated swinging area. I built up my swing height as much as I could while watching Gerard regard the children's swing we ever-so-generously left for him. He lifted his legs in cautiously, trying to take his time. Then it all went to hell. I could tell he was barely supressing a yelp, and I'm not even going to try and explain the position he's in because up until now I didn't realise the human body could contort into shapes like that.
He shot me a pained look and I knew it was time for me to become a hero.
Now is not the time for clichés, Frank. Your infatuation is stuck in a child's swing.
"Jesus, Gerard, come here." Although I realised that sounded stupid because that's the whole core of the problem here; he's stuck and can't move. I leapt out of my swing full height, feeling the familiar small adrenaline rush as the soles of my feet hit the ground. "You're a moron!" I joked as I wrapped my arms around him, trying to tug him up, unsuccessfully, might I add.
You're good at this, Frank.
"AH! Frank! What are you even doing?!"
"We'll swap, you little cutie pie!" I giggled as I tapped his nose playfully. Not much he can do about it, anyways. "Lift your legs!" I yelled as I pulled his arms up, not entirely sure what I was hoping to achieve.
"I'm trying!" He insisted breathlessly. "But they're still in the little holes!"
I smirked. It's inevitable, really.
"Not the first holes you've-"
"Frank don't you dare even think of making an innuendo of the situation." He pouted. Suddenly, as if something monumental had happened, his face changed to a look of shock and anticipation. "I think I'm doing it! It's working, I am-!"
I was just about to make my second joke of the moment when suddenly my back was against the gravely tar mac on the floor, and my front was against Gerard, who had very recently escaped from the hellhole(s) that was a baby swing.
"Free." Gerard whispered but only barely, looking into my eyes. Those hazel eyes that make me forget every other thing in the world. His eyes got further away and I noticed he'd shuffled himself into a precarious position. I frowned inwardly. I didn't want him to move away. Ever.
He smiled dreamily, before leaning in and kissing me softly on the cheek. His lips are smooth and feel softer than a feather. I could relive that moment over and over, forever. I probably will do in my mind.
"Thank you for saving me." He smiled before biting his lip. It's weird, it's really weird, but I feel like me and Gerard are connected now. There's no more hazy, confusing fog. We both know exactly what path we want to follow. It's magical, almost.
I smiled and I didn't stop smiling for a long while, although I did contain myself and stop the full-on beaming grin. I put an arm around Gerard and pulled him close to me. Gerard closed his eyes and you can tell he's thinking, hard. Like he's completely absorbed.
A giggle escaped from my lips. "Gerard." Another giggle. "Oh, God, you're so cute." He looked up slightly and smiled before putting his head back down and snuggling into my chest. I want to tell him everything, and I want him to tell me even more. Where he grew up. What his childhood was like. His elementary school. Growing up with a brother. His favourite food. What he likes to draw. And I want to tell him everything about him that I know he doesn't believe, all the things I like. Like how he's incredibly dorky, but how it's so cute. I like his eyes. I like how he bites his nails when he's nervous. I like how he takes his sketchpad pretty much everywhere. I like how he doesn't give up. I like how family-orientated he is. I like how awkward he is. I like everything.
"I like you, Gerard." I said as we both sat up again. I hadn't meant to say it, and I should probably have expanded or explained, but I just left it hanging there in the atmosphere. I just smiled. There's not much explanation I can give, because it's true.
"I like you too, Frank." He crossed his legs and took my hand, holding it carefully and lovingly.
I'm not sure how long we sat there for, content with each other's company. Probably not long. Not long enough. Never long enough.
But, as everyone is sadly aware, all good things must come to an end. This good thing was abruptly apprehended by my phone's stupid shrill text message tone.
"It's my mom." I sighed after cursing. "She wants me home."
Gerard just nodded. I guess he didn't want me to go. Believe me, I would have murdered just in order to say here with him, but I guessed that ultimatum wouldn't arrive anytime soon. I suppose Ray needs a little bro time with Gerard too. As much as I'd like to, I can't have him all the time.
I grabbed his hand and pulled him up. Once we were both standing I pulled him into a close hug, holding him tight. I was stood on my tiptoes too, just so I could whisper my preposition to him.
"So tomorrow, do you fancy showing me round this place or what?" Gerard just sort of squealed into my neck and I felt the vibrations against my skin. "Well I look forward to it." I said as I looked into his perfect hazel eyes that were brighter than ever, something I didn't think was possible. I released him from the hug and he obviously wasn't prepared for unassisted standing, as he overbalanced and fell onto the floor. He looked down in disbelief before beginning to laugh hysterically. I chuckled too: It's lovely to know he can laugh at himself. As I walked over to Ray to beg for a life, I shouted my own goodbye to Gerard.
"You're the biggest loser I've ever dated, Gerard!"
I'm glad he's a loser. I'm a loser too. We're both strange and a little insane, but that's good. Perfect even. Because it suits him so well. Cool wouldn't suit him. I don't want him to ever be cool. I'd rather we stayed uncool, together, for a very long time.