-and you said that I should feel free to add my input about these specials and I think that a Saint Patrick's Day special has even less reason to exist than a Thanksgiving Day one! At least Thanksgiving Day has a good message about being thankful, what message does Saint Patrick's Day have? Being Irish? Genociding snakes? Leprechauns? None of those are relevant to Japan or its culture! …..What do you mean we're live?!

Geofront Command Center

"-and thanks to all of our sensor equipment breaking down at the same time, despite the statistical improbability of that, we have no idea what the Angel will even look like. Any questions?" Ritsuko finished as she downed another dose of acetaminophen. "Yes, Kotone?"

"I noticed it was Saint Patrick's Day, are we in another holiday special?"

"Probably." Ritsuko admitted, causing everyone else to collectively groan.

"Great, it's going to be another holiday-themed Angel, isn't it?" Asuka lamented as she placed her face in her hands.

"Most likely." Ritsuko begrudgingly confirmed, not looking forward to this any more than the rest of them.

"I wonder if it is a leprechaun?" Rei pondered aloud. "If it is, perhaps it will bleed Lucky Charms-" Rei turns towards the room's fourth wall. "-part of a balanced breakfast."

"Uh." Hyuga blinks at Rei's sudden intense focus. "Okay? Why are you looking at me when you say that?"

"You seem the most likely to skip breakfast, which is the most important meal of the day." Rei explained.

"He does, doesn't he?" Kotone agrees.

"You shouldn't skip breakfast, Mister Hyuga." Shinji admonishes. Leader nods in agreement, her festive green hat bobbing along with her nods. Shiki grumbles something unflattering as she adjusts the identical green hat she is being forced to wear atop her usual hat.

"Bully Hyuga about his dietary habits on your own time, we have to prepare for battle." Ritsuko interrupted. "To that effect, we've developed state-of-the-art Saint Patrick's equipment for you to wear." She took a long drag of her cigarette. "And by that I mean we've painted your plugsuits and Evas green."

"Oh come on!" Asuka bellowed. "Is that really necessary?! Unit-02's signature color is red, and it would look stupid in anything else." She paused in thought. "Also I look terrible in green."

"Don't the school uniform dresses have green in them?" Kotone questions.

"That's more turquoise than green. Completely different." Kotone nods in acceptance of that logic.

"I'm sure you look fine in green Asuka." Shinji assures despite not knowing a thing about fashion.

"Thanks, but you're wrong." Asuka admonishes him. "Green is not my color. Honestly if you ever see me wearing green it's because I really don't want to be there." Leader nods sagely in agreement while Shiki rolls her eye at this stupid conversation.

"If we're quite done with-" Ritsuko begins before being interrupted by Kotone.

"Wait, isn't my Eva already green?" She questions as if coming upon a grand revelation. "Does that mean mine isn't getting repainted?"

"No." Ritsuko answers plainly. "Yours is being repainted the same neon puke green as the others."

"Why?!"

"Because I'm feeling particularly spiteful today. Now go suit up." The pilots begin to trudge out of the room, grumbling all the while. "As a reminder, Misato is not in command today because she's knocked herself out by drinking far too many Shamrock shakes laced with Irish whiskey."

"Speaking of Senpai-" Maya began. "-McDonalds corporate is on the line and threatening legal action for the damages inflicted upon their local franchises by Major Katsuragi."

"Literally not my problem, forward it to the legal department."

"We have a legal department?" Maya questioned. Ritsuko sighed as she took another long drag of her cigarette. It was going to be a painfully slow day.

Tokyo-3 Surface

"What the hell am I looking at?" Asuka questioned as she flatly stared at the entity approaching Tokyo-3.

"Top o' the mornin' ta ya Lilim scum! I be Clovereal, Angel o' Clovers! I will destroy ye!" The Angel was a giant four-leaf clover that bears an avian mask and four disturbingly human limbs sprouting from it's stem. Also, it speaks with an Irish accent.

"Why are you Irish?" Kotone couldn't help but ask, a migraine beginning to form in her temple.

"Tis the season ya gobshite wagon!"

"…The fuck you just call me?" Kotone growled, ready to tear this Angel a new vocal orifice.

"Look, perhaps we can just-" Shinji was interrupted when he inexplicably slipped on nothing from a standing position and face-planted into the ground. "-ow."

""Baka-Shinji!"" Leader and Shiki called out as they went to make sure he was alright.

"Ha! Take that ya knob! I got the luck o' the Irish on me side! All yer belong ta me now!" Suddenly Unit-00 appears behind Clovereal and put it in a chokehold. "How?! Ya should've been stopped by bad luck!"

"I make my own luck." Rei explained as she brandished a knife to where she thought its throat would be. "Now, you look like a big Lucky Charm. I wonder if you'll bleed leprechauns?"

"W-what?" Suddenly the Minisuka horde began to emerge from Tokyo-3's countless crevices and converge on Clovereal. "Wait! Yer redheads! Yer supposed ta be on the side o' the Irish! Stop! Nooooooooooo!" Clovereal was soon engulfed by the crimson tide, their spears and Unit-00's progressive knife bleeding the Angel dry.

Half an hour later

"So." Rei began as she sat with Shinji, Asuka, Kotone, Leader, and Shiki atop a giant Lucky Charms marshmallow. "It actually bled Lucky Charms. Very odd."

"I'm not complaining." Asuka took a large bite out of the marshmallow. "I love these little cereal marshmallows."

"I don't quite think they're really considered little anymore." Shinji added in as he cut off pieces for the Minisukas.

"Who cares!" Kotone declared. "We get all these marshmallows! Now, where's the dairy Angel? I want some milk with this cereal!"

And so the day was saved from a giant four-leaf clover as the pilots planned to track down a Milk Angel to kill for its milk. But seriously, what was the point of-

I apologize to the Irish for Clovereal. I have nothing else to add. Hope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and have a pleasant Saint Patrick's Day.