"On broken wings."
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When Sam next woke up his pupils were still dilated and he was still acting both drunk and high.
It was exhausting for Dean as watching his little brother lose his mind was slowly driving him insane.
Dean was helpless as Sam went from "happy drunk" to "depressed whiny drunk" to "tripping out" then full circle back to "happy drunk" again.
One moment Sam was laughing at how "The colors on the ceiling are swirling in a spiral.", when the ceiling was white then crying about how it reminded him of the night he opened The Cage, then the next moment his words were slurring as he told Dean he was "bossy", when all Dean did was tell Sam he "should" try to eat something since Sam hadn't eaten for almost sixteen hours, eventually winding up with Sam happily telling Dean he loves him and that Dean's the greatest big brother ever, then getting mopey again as he says "I never deserved anything as good as you".
Dean was pretty sure nothing could rip at his heart more than Sam not believing he deserved anything good until Sam continued to ramble "Only one time I thought I deserved something good after I found out about what Yellow Eyes did to me was after I felt the pain in my spine fade, everything went black and I heard a woman's voice telling me it was time to go."
"I let the voice take me and when I was able to see again there she was, mom was glowing with this beautiful white light and she told me she loved me and that it was time to go. But I was afraid I'd never see you again. And what mom told me made me think for a second that even I could have something good. She said: "Dean is your soulmate as am I and when it's his time he'll join you and me in our Heaven and we'll be able to be together forever."."
"I was so happy Dean when I heard you'd join us someday so I went with her, I was finally going to know our mom and when it was time for you to come HOME to I'd never have to worry about losing you ever again cause you'd finally really be safe. The only sadness I felt was knowing that dad couldn't be there with us but mom told me everything would eventually work out to where dad could join us as well."
"But I guess I didn't deserve all that happiness cause I was ripped away from mom right after I saw what our Heaven was supposed to be. It was HOME Dean, really HOME, it was going to be you, me, mom and eventually dad finally together again as a family for forever."
Once Sam was done rambling about Heaven he started to segue into rambling about Hell and Dean nearly lost his lunch as Sam spoke of the tortures he endured while in The Cage.
After Sam passed back out again Dean started to get desperate and he called for the only one he knew that might be able to help Sam.
"Cas, I know you've got your own issues to deal with and you might not be able to answer, but if you can hear me Sam is sick, he needs you, I need you to help him."...
~0~
It had been over fourty-eight hours and Sam still wasn't getting any better, in fact he was getting worse and Dean was feeling more helpless than ever because if Sam died there'd be no way of getting him back this time and the permanent finality of that scared Dean more than anything that he'd ever had to face. Now Dean understood how Sam had felt when there appeared to be no way to rescue him from Hell after his deal had come due and now he also knew how selfish he'd been to make that deal as Sam would have never suffered through all the pain and guilt that came after...
Sam became feverish and he was now losing coherency more and more and he was scaring Dean by seeming to forget things little by little sometimes accidentally calling Dean "Dad" or asking who Dean was, which terrified Dean as he felt Sam slipping away...
Then Sam's temperature spiked and Sam started to seize and Dean became a quivering, sobbing wreck as soon as Sam finally settled back into unconsciousness.
Dean didn't leave Sam's bedside even after fourty-eight hours became seventy-two hours. Then Sam took a few seconds to long to breath causing Dean to finally lose it.
After that tremendous scare Dean climbed into bed, layed beside Sam and BEGGED Sam not to die until he could no longer form words through his wailing sobs.
Dean clutched Sam tightly and just bawled as Sam's breathing grew shallow and Sam's pulse became thready...
Dean couldn't take it anymore and he didn't know what to do so he did the only thing he could think of.
Dean closed his eyes, layed Sam's head over his heart and caressed Sam's forehead continuously as he began to sing "Hey Sam, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let me into your heart, then we can start to make it better. And anytime you feel the pain, hey Sam, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders. For, well, you know that I was a fool that played it cool, by making your world a little colder." ...
"I believe you have the lyrics wrong." Said a monotoned voice that could only belong to Castiel.
Dean opened his eyes and gave Cas a death glare as he growled "Where have you been?! Sam's been laying here slowly dying while you were busy doing whatever crazy angels do!"
"I apologize, but there is nothing that can be done for Sam. The poison that is coursing through his veins has no antidote." Cas replied.
"How would you know?" Dean snarled.
"Because I poisoned him." Cas stated cooly.
"You son of a bitch!" Dean bellowed as he shot to a stand "I thought you were our friend! I trusted you, treated you like family and forgave your screwups and you're betraying us again!"
Dean laid into Cas with punches to the face.. He was to far gone to care about the fact he was breaking his hands. Cas only stood there quiet and expressionless and let Dean get out his rage. Suddenly there was a flash of light from next where Sam was laying.
The light was so bright and it was accompanied by a loud VERY high pitched ringing noise making Dean instinctively fall to the floor with his eyes clenched shut and his hands over his ears.
"So it's finally done I take it?" asked a familiar voice that enraged Dean even further as he fought to a stand and turned to glare at Zachariah.
"As ordered." Castiel replied.
"Good. Now that the abomination has been dealt with properly we also have no further use for his brother so he needs to be annihilated as well." Zachariah commanded.
"I do not understand brother." Castiel said with apparent confusion.
"I'm saying that since the abomination is dead his brother must die as well so that he won't be around to bring the abomination back.. again." Zachariah replied with a sneer.
"I see." Castiel said solemnly, then he looked past Dean to Sam's lifeless form and replied "So you believe that I killed Sam Winchester."
"You said it was taken care of as ordered." Zachariah growled.
"Yes, but he did not say who's orders he was following." Sam stated as he came to a stand.
"Impossible." Zachariah whispered in horror.
"Hello brother." Sam replied with his eyes boring intently into Zachariah's which thoroughly confused the hell out of Dean. Then Sam's eyes flashed yellow which made Dean shrink away out of instinct before Sam looked to him and said "No need to fear me Dean. Castiel, dear brother would you please take Dean someplace safe, say.. three, four states over and explain to him exactly what is going on while I take care of this traitor?"
"Of course your grace." Castiel replied as he bowed low before he gripped Dean's shoulder and transported him to safety..
Shortly after Dean was able to get steady on his feet again there was a bright white light that lit up the sky for miles accompanied by a high pitched ringing then followed by a clap of thunder before the night became quiet and still again.
"What the HELL IS GOING ON?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BROTHER YOU BASTARD?!" Dean screamed.
"Did you know Sam still prays every night?" Castiel asked.
"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT BLAMING HIM FOR THIS YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Dean roared.
Cas held out his hands in gesture of surrender as he tried to explain. "Sam has been praying every night since your father's friend Jim Murphy taught him about faith at the age of five. Sam used to pray for love and acceptance, because even then he understood that your father was emotionally distant from him."
"Then when Sam found out what kind of work your father did he started praying for his family's safety. When Sam left for Stanford it wasn't just because he hated hunting, it was because he hated the fact that one day he was going to lose the only family he had left and he didn't want to have to see it happen. Much like YOU never wanted to have to be the only one left to bury your family Sam just wanted to be able to pretend that he wouldn't ever have to face a day where he was the only one left in your family period."
"Then Jessica died and Sam started praying for justice for her and for his family, which later became a thirst for vengeance when he found out Azazel had always had plans for him. After your father died Sam started praying in true earnest for you to be able to heal."
"When Sam found out about your crossroads deal he started praying for the strength and wisdom to be able to save you. He prayed for help to know the right thing to do when Ruby started tricking him with her wiles."
"NONE of Sam's prayers have ever really been answered, the both of you just always had to do things on your own despite how hard Sam prayed because everything that happened, ALL of it was meant to happen exactly as it did and no one could interfere to help you except where it was ordered from on high to do so. BUT then Sam started begging to be forgiven. He was in such an awful state of mind he'd started believing all the lies he'd been told throughout his life, he started believing he was evil, a freak, a monster, an abomination and that he deserved Hell and GOD couldn't bear to see that he'd failed Sam so he ordered for several wrongs in Sam's life to be put right."
"First Zachariah is to be punished for working with Lillith and Ruby to free Lucifer and for tampering with what you ended up thinking was Sam's Heaven and GOD thought since it was Sam who was wronged that Sam deserved to get to personally have a hand in the task of smiting him. Second Sam will be shown that he has NEVER deserved Hell as the one using Sam as a vessel right now will show Sam the ETERNITY he is guaranteed to have when his time to pass does come."
"For now let me explain WHY things were the way they were and WHY they HAD to be that way."
A/N: Dun dun dun! What was the "poison"?, Who's using Sam as a vessel?, Will Dean get Sam back? Will BOTH Sam AND Dean finally get absolution?.. Stay tuned!.. And PLEASE review!