Chapter 143 Obligations…silent or implied
Christine leaned Erik forward, kissing him tenderly behind the ear. "My dear, we best get you into bed. You need to rest, you need to tend to that cough that sounds to have settled in your lungs." She rubbed his shoulder, her hand coming to rest over his chest. She could feel the rattling in his lungs beneath the palm of her hand.
Erik was tired, and the thought of the warmth of the bed, with Christine in his arms sounded like the most pleasant thing he could imagine. "Say you'll join me?" He smiled as he watched Christine wrapping herself in a bath sheet.
She smiled at him as he stood shivering, standing up to his knees in the warmth of the water, the remainder of his flesh exposed to the air. She lifted a large, soft, towel for him, nodding as he climbed out of the basin leaning down to allow her to slip it about his shoulders. "But of course, how else are we to get you warm?" She smiled at Erik. "This last month has left me in a bit of wonder about this body I now live in. I've been so warm, with the exception of last night after dinner, I could not seem to find a way to warmth no matter that I tried."
Erik grimaced, that had been when he'd been out in the snow with that woman, and he'd been freezing…she had sensed it. The connection that he and Christine shared now was beyond that of husband and wife. Beyond teacher and pupil. Beyond that which was prayed for and that which was delivered. There was a connection that was far beyond anything he'd ever known. His pain had been her pain. His love, her love. His hopes had been her hopes.
Though he tried, bits of him still doubted that he'd had the right to such happiness…that he'd been worthy of it. Then there were times, like this very moment when he realized as he looked into the soul that shone in her eyes, they would have been connected in the deepest of ways, even if they'd never allowed themselves to surrender to it. This connection was beyond either of them, and every day, little by little, he allowed himself to believe.
"I think I've enough heat now to warm two bodies! Christine laughed. "Now," she said in a rather nursing tone, "let us see to getting you off into that bed".
Erik tried to feign reluctance but Christine saw through his ruse. As he stood next to the bed she retrieved a nightshirt, slipping it over his shoulders, placing a kiss on his cheek. She turned around, sliding her still damp skin into a thin nightgown. By her own professing she'd not needed much to keep her warm.
Erik watched with utter amazement. There was no part of this woman that he did not find truly beautiful, and these days, she seemed to glow from a radiance deep within. Watching her as she moved was like watching art in motion.
She pulled back the covers to their bed, climbing in, she reached out taking Erik's hand, beckoning for him to join her.
As he came to rest next to Christine, he felt her warm and gentle hands begin to rub his shoulders. He'd not even realized how sore and worn his body felt. It ached for the punishment it had endured. He'd exerted himself more than he'd thought.
Erik had drifted off into to a peaceful sleep under her magic touch the very first time she'd conveyed this kindness in the caverns below the opera house. The first time she'd touched his skin to bring him relief, his skin had tingled from the sheer sensation of compassionate touch. Then, she'd done so out of sympathy.
The warm hands that now touched his flesh, were that of a woman who loved him in the most definitive way possible. He was the man whose children she now bore in her very womb. He closed his eyes. He was hers to do with whatever she wished, and he trusted her implicitly.
Christine gently massaged each shoulder, grasping the bulk of the muscle and kneading it tenderly with her fingers until it yielded its tensions. Each arm, elbow, hand, and wrist, receiving the same careful, yet methodical attention. At the end of each finger, she lowered her lips to them, placing a tender kiss on each one. Then as carefully as she could, she slowly lowered his arm until it came to rest on the bed beside him, completely and utterly relaxed.
Her hands glided down the length of his back. His handsomeness was only furthered by his masculinity. If ever there had been a specimen that Walden should have examined for the epitome of manliness Christine thought, it would have been the man that now lay next to her. When he was in motion he was magic. When he was quiet and still as he was now, he was completely vulnerable. It was in those moments that Christine could admire the whole of him without his eyes searching her as to the purpose for her gaze. For truly there was no purpose in her gazings, other than sincere appreciation of that which her eyes beheld. The warmth and suppleness of his skin now devoid of the previous tautness beneath them, caused Christine to smile. She'd brought him that which she wished for him, comfort and peace. Slowly, Erik had given in to her touch.
The kindness of his wife, the safe harbor of her husbands arms, a perfect place for both. Soon the pair lay fast asleep in one another's arms. As Christine had nestled into the expanse of his chest, he'd protectively slid his hand down over her abdomen. It was instinct now. He'd made a promise….now he would keep it.
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Meg and Raoul sat a long while by the fire. Her mother had not returned. Discretion had always been her strength, and today she exercised it with great clarity. They wanted to revel in the moment themselves, yet they longed for there to be no misunderstanding of the events that took place. Things were not quite as they might have first appeared.
Raoul was the first to stand, taking Meg by the hand. "Come, they'll be wondering why we still tarry." Meg nodded in agreement. Raoul began to lead her back toward the opening in the tangled briar, pausing one last time before they left the safety of that haven. He had to tell her.
"Meg, it has been most wonderful for me to have you in my home. I am pleased that you'd agreed to join me there." Raoul swallowed, what he had to say next would not be easy, and in truth was in part the reason he'd want to give her that ring. "Meg, I do worry, not for myself, for truly it would not matter…but for you."
Meg stopped, looking up at Raoul. "What is it that you worry of Raoul?"
He looked down at her with compassionate eyes, "worry for what others might say, what others might think Meg, of you and I." The words that he'd overheard of his father's rung inside his mind.
Meg shook her head. It seemed at every turn he managed to confuse her. Raoul looked at her, quickly realizing she'd misunderstood. "No Meg, not of us, but of the time we spend together….quite alone in your room." Meg blushed, he'd said her room. "Meg, when the time comes that you've made up your mind, made your decision, no matter which you choose, I've no want for anyone to have question in their mind."
Meg blinked. Though the words stung like the deep piercing of an enraged hornet, she understood that which he was trying to say.
"Meg, I shall be here for you, no matter what your want or need, I shall be but a few doors away."
A tear formed in Meg's eye. "I know that there is no present danger, and though what you say brings pain to my heart, you need say no more….I understand." Raoul let out a relieved breath. She held pain in her eyes, just as he held pain in his heart.
"Meg, I shall accompany to your door each evening, perhaps even join you for tea before bed, but we shall either be joined by our parents, or leave the door open. Though you and I know of the platonic nature of our interactions, I want that there is no doubt that we've not let our emotions or passions take control of us, instead of we taking them by the bridle."
Meg nodded as she took the arm that Raoul extended to her. "It shall be as you say Raoul." She smiled at him sweetly though inside she was dying. She'd only grown accustomed to waking up in the safety of his arms, and now to be deprived of such comfort…she was not certain how she would manage.
They walked to the opening in the briar, Meg leaning back pecking Raoul's cheek. "So much has happened Raoul, and what has not parted us has made us stronger. I hope that one day your father's heart would warm for us."
Raoul smiled, looking down at her. He'd wanted so to tell her of what he'd overheard, but then he'd have to admit to being in Nadir's room. Perhaps it was well enough that Raoul knew of his father's heart on the matter. When the time came for Raoul to ask Madame Giry for her hand, it would be all that much sweeter.
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It was nearly two in the afternoon, when a sled arrived outside of the woman's house. The doctor watched with great anticipation as he saw a woman climbing down the side of the snow, it would be the woman's sister. Though she was still asleep, he knew she would be grateful when she woke to find her sister at her side. The events of the last days had been entirely overwhelming for the poor woman.
How would she manage without him? The doctor did not know. He had been trained to heal the body. He knew full well that the mind was an entirely different matter. No bandage nor medicine could alleviate the torturous travels a mind must take when it grieves. There was no way around it, simply a way through it, and that was a journey none could take from you, nor take for you.
He welcomed the woman as she came in through the door, lightly tapping her boots on the sash as she did. "Bon Nuit Doctor, where is my sister?" A formal conversation was not necessary. They both knew the purpose of her visit.
"She rests upstairs Madame." He nodded his head as she removed her cloak. The men, having just returned from their delivery to LeMortem Street, carried in her bags. They nodded at the doctor, it had been done.
"And my brother-in-law?" The doctor led her over to the bench by the fire. He waited until the two men left the room. "I'm so sorry to be the bearer of such news mum…" Her hand flew up to her mouth, and remained there as the doctor explained the extent of the injury, the long nights her sister had sat by his side, and the final hours they'd spent together.
"She will need you more now than ever I'm afraid."
"And where is he now?" She said, looking pleadingly at him.
The doctor looked back at the door. "We've taken him to LeMortem, your sister will have to decide when she is awake, what she would like for him."
The woman sat rather ashen. She'd expected to be of a support to her sister as she helped her husband mend. She'd not expected to find her a widow…that was a much different healing. She fidgeted with her skirt. "I know too well what she will have to journey through, my husband died just last year from fever. My sister was there to help me sir, I shall be there for her."
The doctor was a bit relieved. He'd be leaving the woman in hands far more capable than his own. None understands the pain and trials quite like those who have been through it themselves.
The maid appeared from behind the service door, going to the woman who sat with the doctor. They embraced briefly before she said, "come, let me show you to a room I've prepared for you."
The woman stood to join her, turning back to the doctor. "May we call on you if we should have need?"
The doctor said "but of course." Then he thought a moment. "Tonight, should you need me, I'm just outside of the city, visiting the Vicomte…"
The woman was already nodding her head. "Yes I know, I've heard of the young chorus girl, and the ballet mistress…so good of him to take them in." The woman nodded and disappeared behind the door.
The doctor's head hung, it had already begun. Rumor begat rumor, and this was certain to be fodder for much gossip in the coming months. That too he would have to share with Raoul when he finally reached him.
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Nadir had drifted in and out of a fitful sleep. He now lay awake, looking over at the clock it was two o'clock in the afternoon. He could neither entreat his mind to rest, nor convince his body to remove itself from its current prone position. He was tired, but his mind wouldn't hear of it, there was far too much to do.
He rolled over looking out the window. It was a bit overcast, but still it was light, and showed no signs of the storm returning. Nadir thought to himself that he would rise, take in a bit of lunch and wander out to the carriage house to see about commandeering the sleigh he'd heard DeChagny speaking about.
It was time, nay far passed time, that Sara make her way to the place she would rest. Perhaps if he'd managed this one thing, he would sit a bit easier. He'd be able to focus on the issue that burned at his mind, that of the lineage of a certain friend.
Nadir stretched, trying and failing to reach both ends of the bed. No doubt the bed had been built with a giant of a man in mind! Sliding his legs over the edge of the bed, Nadir sat up rubbing his eyes. He was tired, as much from the tossing and turning he'd done as the night spent awake conversing with DeChagny.
Something caught his eye. Right on the edge of the desk, was that the envelope that he'd given Meg that morning? He glanced back over at the small table next to his bed, rising, he pulled open the drawer, no, there was the blank envelope she'd given him. Nadir closed the drawer, yawning heavily as he quietly plodded over to it. Glancing down he furrowed his brow. His name was inscribed on the face of it.
His face quickly covered in a smile. She'd received his note…this was her reply. But when had she? He shook his head. How easily she could have traveled between the rooms unnoticed. Though under normal circumstances he'd feel intruded upon, he didn't mind the thought she'd been in the room with him without his knowledge.
Nadir plodded back to the bed, sliding his thumb beneath the seal. If he were to face her, to face what remained of the day, he might as well do it from the beginning. He slid the sheets out into his hands, caressing them before he opened them to begin reading.
"My dearest Nadir…" he could almost hear her voice. The first words rung in his mind. Though he knew what they needed to do was best, somewhere in his heart he'd hoped she'd beg him to reconsider…to find a way. His eyes grew damp as he read….
"I know that present circumstances prevent us from seeking refugee of any kind in one another's company…..we've so many others to consider aside from ourselves. One day we may find ourselves in much more favorable arrangements….Fond friends we've been, and the fondest of friends we shall always be….love does not often follow the most prudent course…..In my heart there is so much that I wish had been different, but alas it shan't be so…. I do pray that whatever course is chosen that we can remain in contact, if however infrequently…..This letter shall end a rather sad discourse, though I look forward with some optimism to the future. There is always happiness to be found….With fondest regards, M
Nadir swallowed. Her response made him take pause. For so long the two of them had thought of others, put others ahead of themselves…would there ever be a time, before they left this earth that they could think of their own needs, their own desires? Erik's words rung heavily in his mind…. "Go my friend, find that which makes you happy…we shall pass this way but once…" Even Erik had understood the very needs of Nadir's soul….perhaps even more than he'd understood them himself.
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The boy had finished the last of the items in the basket. The daylight had been long, and the weather had held. It had allowed him time to dig the snow away from the sides of the tree to expose some of the grasses that lay beneath the heavy blankets. His horse had been grateful as it allowed it to feed. He'd managed to remove a few more of the lower dry limbs from the tree to build a bit of a fire later that night.
For now he was quite warm, having spent the last hours pushing about snow. He could hear the water running beneath it as it had already begun to melt. His hopes were high that this would be the last night he'd spend inside that carriage, entrapped by the snow. If the next day did not produce enough relief to dislodge the carriage from it's current location, he'd have to set the horse free and come back for the carriage once the snow had melted.
He could ill afford to be found now, nor could he afford to stay there another night. The next twenty-four hours would be telling. The only thing his isolation had produced was a keen awareness that he'd need to change his life…this was not living. But…he'd finish the work he'd come to do first, it was his last gift to his father….then his life would be different, but in this moment…until this was done, he was obligated.
Author's Notes:
Captainoblivious: Good to hear Susie is on the mend. As for the two men…hmmm…did you take your love of POTO so far that you've now two young men on the hook, both vying for your attention? If it were me…I'd take the one that most resembled Gerard Butler! LOL! It is a difficult thing when this happens. Being friends with both will be best, but difficult, especially if you don't particularly care for either one. Hmmmm…maybe Pat can give you some good advice, since he is a guy. At least be thankful that there are two instead of none…it means you are doing something right! My guy-o-meter has been on zero for such a long time….it probably has something to do with the fact that I am always working. I probably only have a chance with a burglar that happens into my house between 2 and 6 a.m.! LOL! And then only on the days that I am actually home…which lately have been few and far between.
Yes our dear Erik has a cough, and who could wonder after all of that exposure…though I think Christine is rather enjoying being able to baby him a bit. The last time she'd cared for him, he'd objected profusely, now he was warming up to the idea, since he's found it is most pleasant! And Raoul, yes Raoul would not be my type either, but for some, such as Meg, he's a good match. I rather prefer the brooding intelligent type over the more, oh how to describe it….more reserved, more proper type.
Here's hoping you have a good week (notice I did not say uneventful) and stop in and let the Phamily know how Susie turns out!
Phantomsrogue: Good to hear that Wilma missed you, and don't worry, I understand what you are saying, it doesn't seem heartless to be thankful that the brunt of the storm did not affect you. One can only endure so much.
I must confess I've not been able to check my e-mail, between work and catching up on typing all that I've written, and celebrating a friends birthday, I've not had much time to myself. But I will get to it, do not worry.
Yes, it is very good to be home again…I've missed the story and the Phamily very much! It was a twist on the Raoul/Meg front that came to me in the middle of the night one night last week…I think he wants to ask her, and is dancing around every way possible, but the memories of his own mother's pain, of what his father described…that keeps him from doing it. He doesn't want his bride to have any doubt, and he knows how much she has to give up to be with him, even if most people would consider it to be an improvement. So he is being careful, though I think if it were up to him, he'd march her right down the isle tonight! Hmmmm….
Le bon jour mon âme-soeur, ma soeur !
PhantomFan13: Yes, it is more than good to be back home again! Yes, your words made sense. I rather love a good twist, and I think it shows Raoul's angst in wanting Meg, but not wanting to push her. He does not want her to think that he does not want her…hmmm…sounds complicated.
Halloween, yes, a Monday is not necessarily the best night for it, but for me, it is the only night of the week that I do not have to work, or be somewhere else…just one night a week…yikes…I have to get a life! It will be a fun one though I think. The weather where I live will be in the fifties that night, if the current pattern holds, so it won't be bad to be out and about. I won't be doing the trick-or-treat thing at my house I don't think. My poor little schnauzer nearly had a heart attack last year with people coming and going…so I'm probably going to put him up in one of the spare bedrooms with 'Lassie' on the VCR and a good bone to chew on. I've a long flowing black skirt to wear, but I don't know what the rest of the costume should be. I'd really like to do something Victorian, or something from 1870's Paris, but I don't know yet. Hmmm…as for you…I don't really like witches (long story), a princess…is o.k…..but…. Little Red Riding Hood would be a good choice. You know at least you'd be warm, and we don't know too very much about Little Red, so she might really be something or someone else….you might actually be the wolf under that cape…there it is, part of my fascination…yet another creature with a cape….I must confess I have a one track mind! No matter what you choose you'll have fun if you give in to it. Don't know if you are a Shakespeare fan, but if you are, you'll understand in so many of his stories that there is power in hiding one's real identity, it frees the spirit, drops all expectations, and allows one to be whatever and whoever they want to be. So, the costume is merely a vehicle, it is what you do when you are wearing it that determines your satisfaction with it! The best idea is to simply have fun with it no matter what you choose!
Nordygirl: I go into fits of laughter. I have a very creative, very active imagination. I could just sit back and imagine you belting out this song! LOL! It is so very kind of you to use such descriptive words…and I love your music choice… I think I've said it before, but I am very pleased that you are enjoying the story…I hope not to disappoint!
Diveprincess: So very good to hear from you! How is school? How are those legs doing? I've thought of you often now that the weather is turning…broken bones often ache so much as the seasons change….hope that is going well. Did you and your friend ever make amends?
Yes, our story has grown. I never imagined it would be 142 chapters, and now I am wondering how long it will end up being…there is so very much left to write! It has been a labor of love…and I just can't imagine stopping, though I know it shall one day be complete.
It is good to hear from you. I have been busy, as no doubt the rest of our Phamily has. Some have had children, some are buying houses, some are off in college, some are in high school…so many different walks of life, so many places in the world…it is so very much fun!