Chapter title goes to My Darkest Days… And of course the rest to J.K Rowling and E.L. James. And hopefully, my new idea of breaks in scenes (50505050) will actually work in this chapter. I'm sorry if the previous ones were a little hard to follow… The breaks didn't work since I tried to use *** and - the last two times.
Special shout out to my two reviewers, pawsrule and albrkic! You're amazing! =) Another thanks goes out to all of you that have added this story to your favorites or alerts. It makes my day so much better when I check my E-mail and see something new for this story!
50 Shades of Harmony
Chapter 3: Set it on Fire
"Seriously?! You mean Harry Potter, photos… Seriously?!" Luna squeals, bouncing up and down clapping her hands. "I can't believe it Hermione! You're brilliant! But, wait… Why was he at QuidSups?"
"He was here at Hogwarts, visiting McGonagall about a donation he's making for our NEWTs exams. She recommended the shop," I said, shrugging my shoulders.
"I think he was here to see you, Hermione. Come on, the guy gave you his personal floo network password! You want to know how many people probably have that? Like…maybe only a handful of people—and you're one of them!"
The idea bubbles in my head, causing those fairies inside to start attacking my stomach again. "It's business, Luna. I just happened to be there to help," I say, sounding as disappointed as I felt the realization hit me right where the fairies were fluttering.
"Even if he's going to be donating a bunch of galleons based on our O's, Hermione, he still stopped into the store that you happened to be working at… He has his own Quidditch shops around Europe. He's even got his own store that he personally oversees. Why would he have to stop into yours? I'll tell you—it's you, Hermione. He's completely and utterly drawn to you since I happened to send you to interview him!"
I roll my eyes, shaking my head at her. "We need to ask Neville if he'll do this for us. See if your father will put his name with the pictures or something so he can get recognition for them. We've also got to figure out where we're going to take the pictures and such… He is famous. It's not like he can come strolling into our dorm to do a photo shoot for us…for you."
"More like for you, lady!" Luna giggles.
"He's just trying to be nice, Luna. It is his first interview ever published… He needs to look for good it, right?" Maybe Luna's right…maybe he does like me. Like she said, he did give me his floo password… He did say he was glad that Luna didn't do the interview… I mean, maybe, right? I sigh, which makes Luna look up at me.
Neville walks through the portrait, his eyes showing that he'd been studying throughout the day from the bags hanging under them. Luna's eye light up.
"Neville, my favorite artist! How are you this evening?" she asks, patting the couch next to her for him to sit down.
"Um…tired, I guess. NEWTs and all, you know…" he mumbles, sliding his bag down next to his chair that he occupies instead of Luna's couch.
"Well splendid, my friend. Have you ever thought of branching out from doing art work and doing photography? You've got a camera, don't you?"
"Well, yeah…I've got a camera that you gave me last year for Christmas, actually…I've never used it or anything really…"
"It works though, doesn't it?"
"Yeah, I think so. From the time I let you borrow it to go looking for nargles…it came back with a bunch of really good landscape shots."
"Brilliant. How do you feel about taking pictures of people?"
"It's not really my thing, Luna…"
"But you'd do it for Hermione and me, wouldn't you? It's a once in a lifetime chance, Neville. It's for my article on Harry Potter. Daddy would put your names with the pictures then who knows who would be calling you up wanting you to do work for them! Especially after they hear that you're going to be doing the statue in the Ministry, too… You'll be famous, Neville. Bloody famous! So, what do you say? You'll do it, right?"
I can't help but laugh as the wrath of Luna Lovegood descends upon someone who is not me in the name of her article.
"I mean, I guess I can try… I can't promise they'll be…"
"They'll be wonderful, I'm sure, Neville! Now we just have to figure out a time and place!" Luna says, smiling brightly. You can't help but be affected by this woman. People say that I'm scary-brilliant, but Luna is just plain scary sometimes—especially when she wants something.
"What about the Room of Requirement? We can turn it into anything that we need to," Neville suggests.
"No, no… Potter's too famous to go walking around Hogwarts, Hermione even said that Neville…"
"Well, I wasn't here for that, was I?" Neville shakes his head, looking at Luna.
"Oh yeah, sorry… Well, what about outside of Hogwarts, by the tree you always go to, Hermione? I'm sure that with your skills we could place enough notice-me-not charms around the area that no one will go over by it… And he could simply walk up here from Hogsmeade on the back road to get to it, so no one has to see him… It's perfect! Right, right?" Luna's doing her bouncing up and down tactic again when she's had another good idea. It's a very bad thing to not indulge the girl when credit is due to her.
"It's great, Luna. Now we just need a time," I say, taking a mental note of all the things I need to tell Potter when I get the chance to floo-call him.
"Well, when are you free?" she asks like it's the only obvious question.
"Shouldn't it be when you and Neville are free, Luna? It's your article and Neville's taking the pictures…"
"Ah, but we're not the ones he's coming to see, now are we?" Luna says in her sing-song voice where she's proving a point again. I look to Neville to see him giving an impassive look towards Luna.
"Whenever you guys are good to go, I'm good. Just let me know in the morning, okay? I'm exhausted from all the studying I did today. If I don't get straight O's I'm thinking that the tests are jinxed against us. I'm going to bed. Good night, Hermione. You too, Luna," he says as he picks up his bag and heads towards his door.
Luna looks back at me. "I'm free all day. So, when do you want to do this, Hermione?"
"Ummm… How about around nine in the morning? It still gives me the rest of the day to study…"
"Sounds splendid! Now, do you want me to go into your room while you give him a call or am I okay to stay here on my couch?"
"I can't use our fireplace, Luna… It's not hooked up to the floo network…"
"Silly Hermione. Of course it is—for calls only. Didn't you read the Heads' Guide when you became Head Girl? Even I read that manual so I'd know all about your rooms…"
I cocked my head to the side, wondering if Luna just made up this guide that she says that she's read. We never got such a thing upon learning that we were Heads. I shrug my shoulders and go over to the fireplace, wondering if I just stick my head into the burning fire or not. I happen to be muggleborn. I'm not saying that it's a hinder to me in any way, but new magical things do tend to stump me if I've never read about them… Floo calling, okay—when you have floo powder. Without, though? I look over to Luna. "Did you happen to read where there was any powder to use for calls, then, Luna?"
Luna rolled her eyes at me and tapped her wand against the table. "When you're making calls, my dear friend, you just need to use your wand. No need to waste powder."
"Oh… Okay." I pull out my wand, pointing it at the fireplace, and say in a clear voice, "The Palace."
A dreamy voice that reminds me of Luna asks for the password, which I give. "One moment please, Miss Granger. Mr. Potter is being alerted to your call right now," the voice says.
I look back at Luna who only shrugs. Evidentially even this one is new for her. Suddenly Potter's head forms in the fire. Damn it if he doesn't even look good in fire.
"Ah, Miss Granger, how nice to hear from you in short time. I take it that you had the chance to talk to Miss Lovegood and Mr. Longbottom, then?"
I try to remember if I ever said Neville's last name when I mentioned he might be willing to take the photos, but shake off the feeling of wonder. His voice sounds different right now than it has before, which has taken more of a place in my mind than over what I might have said. My cheeks are flushing, something that Luna rarely sees me do, and never for a guy. I'm fully aware she's staring me down as I try to figure out what to say to Harry Potter.
"Um—yeah. Yeah, I did. They're fully on board. Would you be able to walk to Hogsmeade tomorrow? I'd walk down there and show you the place we picked out… It's well away from people, as I know you like your privacy and everything…"
"Wonderful, Hermione. When would you like me to be there?" Again, that tone of voice, saying my actual name… I'm glad that I'm kneeling in front of the fireplace or else I'd be on my knees in seconds begging for something that I'm not proud to admit I'd want from him.
"Nine. If you want to come in a little early so I could meet you there, that'd be great… It'd give me enough time to set up all the privacy spells and such so we weren't interrupted or anything… During the photo shoot, I mean…"
I can hear the laughter that is in his voice. It truly amazes me how humorous this man thinks that I am.
"Let's plan on 8:30 at the Shrieking Shack to meet then. I'll be looking forward to seeing you, Miss Granger."
"All right then. Good bye, Mr. Potter," I say and flick my wand to end the connection. I turn around to see a bouncing Luna, yet again.
"You like him! You really like him!" she squeals like she's just realizing this for the first time. I blush. "And you're blushing about it! You barely ever blush!"
"Oh shut it, Luna. I blush all the time. Like you said, everyone has to be affected by Harry Potter, right? Don't be ridiculous. He's just very intimidating, that's all. Nothing more," I say as I stand up, dusting off my knees. I'm fully ready to head towards my bedroom right now to escape this squealing blonde that is my best friend.
She gives me a look that only Luna can give as I roll my eyes and walk towards my room, fully aware that she knows exactly how much I like that cursed man Harry Potter.
50505050
I can't sleep that night. I'm tossing and turning and can't get the vision of Harry Potter flying around the Hogwarts Pitch naked out of my head. I sit up in my bed, trying to get my heart to stop racing. Great. I'm going to look wonderful tomorrow when we go to take these pictures. I rub my eyes, try to think of potions formulas to fall asleep, but the potions are all turning a brilliant shade of emerald… So now I'm even going to fail my potions NEWTs because I can't seem to get this man out of head…
50505050
I yawn as I walk towards Hogsmeade. Luckily the chill of the morning is waking me up a little bit more than even my tea did this morning. Of course Luna had to comment on the bags under my eyes from the night before. Maybe if I didn't spend most of my night trying to not think about how much Mr. Potter affects me… Well, I might be able to get a little more sleep. I slowly walk up the path to the Shrieking Shack. Rumor has it that a werewolf once stayed here and an escaped convict. Good thing that I've never believed in rumors or else I might not have agreed to meet Potter here. Who am I trying to kid? I'd still be meeting the man here. He could probably tell me that I needed to sit through a Divination class to be able to meet him and I'd still do it.
As I enter through to door, Mr. Potter is sitting on a rickety old bed, seeming to be lost in a distant memory. He seems startled when the board I step on makes very loud creek.
"Miss Granger," he says as he stands up. It's the first time that I take notice of his appearance and for all the nargles in the world, I wish that I didn't. He's so unbelievably gorgeous that the fairies try to escape of my throat instead of just massacring my insides. He's wearing a black button-up shirt that is opened to show just the top of a green muscle shirt underneath. His jeans are hanging from his hips, almost inviting someone to try and take them off. His hair, though never truly put together, is even wilder. It takes all my will to not faint from the very sight of him. If only Luna could see me now… I think it's better that she's not here at this second, though. I'm so glad that I agreed to meet with him and walk with him back to the castle.
"Mr. Potter," I manage to say, finding my voice amongst the fairies that are battling my vocal cords. He gives me a soft smile that I can barely see. I'm glad that I can't take my eyes off of him because this smile looks so good on the man that I can feel myself becoming turned on by just this. I'm so glad that he didn't call me Hermione right now. Miss Granger fits me just fine.
"I'm waiting for someone to get here. He had to go in to town to collect a few things for me. Is it okay if we wait for him?" he asks.
I nod. "Of course. I didn't realize you'd be bringing company."
"Mr. Lupin normally accompanies me where ever I go. He was actually at the front of QuidSups yesterday waiting for me. Bodyguards tend to do that, Miss Granger."
Again, I nod, feeling that that's the only motion that I'm capable of doing. I'm luckily that at that moment Mr. Lupin stepped inside the Shack. I turn around to look at him. He's in his late thirties and looks nothing like I figured someone for Harry Potter would look like. He's got shaggy light brown hair and eyes that look even rougher than mine do this morning. He's not as kept as the people at the Ministry were, but he's still wearing a dark brown suit that actually looks a little worn in. I smile at him, offering out my hand.
Mr. Lupin looks down at my hand like it's a foreign object for someone to shake his hand. He limply takes mine and gives it quick shake then drops it back down and his hand goes back to his side. He looks over at Potter and gives a nod.
"All right, Miss Granger. If you'd be so kind to lead the way to the spot you have chosen," Potter gestures towards the door. Mr. Lupin immediately goes to it and opens it up for me, finally looking me in the eyes. It's almost like he's asking me silently if I know what I'm getting myself in to by being with Harry Potter.
"Thank you, Mr. Lupin," I say softly and begin to walk out of the door. Potter quickly catches up to me, taking each step that I do. Mr. Lupin follows behind us. If I hadn't turned around to look at him, I wouldn't have even known he was with us.
"So… How are you?" I say, trying to find something to talk about on the walk back up to the castle.
Potter looks over at me, his eyes questioning my words. It's like he's never been asked this before, just like it seemed that Mr. Lupin had never shaken anyone hand.
"Um—good, Miss Granger. How…how are you?"
"Better now. I haven't been sleeping well these past few days. It's always good when I finally feel awake," I say, finding the ground to be very interesting as I'm staring at it so intently.
"Have you gone to see your school nurse? I'm sure that she could give you some dreamless sleep potion that could help you sleep better."
"I hadn't thought of going to her about my nighttime problems, actually." Which is all true. I just swore yesterday that you're the cause of something wrong with me…. Why didn't I think about going and asking for potions from Madame Pompfrey? Just as I'm wondering this, a rock seems to think that the ground and I needed to become better acquainted.
Strong arms wrap around my middle to keep me from trying to eat the dirt along the path. When I'm tilted back, I'm looking up into the eyes that have been haunting me. I'm pretty sure that I quit breathing and if at that moment someone had come along, I'd be declared dead because my heart stopped beating as well…or else it was beating so fast that I couldn't even feel it any more. Potter gives me that soft smile that has become my new favorite thing in the world—even more so than books.
"You really need to stop doing this, Hermione," he whispers down to me. "A man would think that you'd like being on the ground or something."
My cheeks turn bright red at his words as he stands me back up. I've never wanted to be kissed so bad by someone in my entire life but this man… His face is literally a hand touch away from mine. It wouldn't take much for him to lean down and I'd completely disappear from this world. Please. I beg inside, hoping that my dreams could only become a reality. Within moments though of his emerald orbs staring into my plain brown ones, I'm being sat back up on my feet. I'm glad that I can feel my feet touching the ground because I need to make sure that I am truly here in this moment.
"Thank you, Mr. Potter, for catching me," I say as we start over on our walk to Hogwarts and my heat breaks a little bit inside that I didn't get t experience that kiss I'd been hoping for. I'm so glad that I can see the gates now, but a part of me is devastated at the same time. Even though Mr. Lupin is right before us, this is the most alone I've ever felt with Potter.
Luna sees us and waves from my tree. She and Neville have sat a blanket on the ground in front of the tree and have brought out a chair to do some shots with as well. Luna is beaming at me as she sees me walking so close to Potter. If you know Luna Lovegood, you can tell exactly where her mind has wandered off to like it loves to do so much.
"Luna, Neville… This is Mr. Harry Potter, Minister of Magic," I say as we approach. Mr. Potter puts out his hand to shake both of theirs.
"It's a pleasure. I've heard a lot about both of you," He says. Again, I try to remember telling him 'a lot' about my friends, but shake my head and decide he's just trying to be nice, pretending that I haven't been a complete mess around him basically every time that we've talked.
"Thank you so much for agreeing to do this, Mr. Potter," Luna says giving off her beautiful smile. I'm suddenly very self-conscious about my best friend actually meeting Potter. So far, it's only been me… And if going off of his office, his type is definitely blondes. Luna just so happens to be one of the dreamiest—in the truest sense—of the world of blondes.
Potter nods his head at her then looks over at Neville. It must be my mind playing tricks on me, but he doesn't seem to be affected my Luna the way that most people are. Often she's got them so caught up in her world that it's hard to touch base with reality. "Where would you like to start, Mr. Longbottom? It seems that you have put together a few ideas…"
"Hermione needs to set up the charms first before we begin anything, I think. We don't need the students approaching us wondering what we're doing" Luna says, looking at me. Her knowing eyes make me blink. "Of course," I say and immediately go to work.
I'm aware of Neville and Luna talking to Potter as I go around the area making it was private as possible. I didn't know that I could be so angry at myself for being the top student in my year. They always looked towards me when it came to getting things done around here. I'd give anything to be standing next to him, listening to his voice as he takes command of the photo shoot that he's simply supposed to be participating in. It's got to be the control freak in him that leads him to naturally do what he's best at—commanding others. As I look back towards the group, I can see Mr. Lupin standing off to the side, watching me as I cast my last spell. He nods his head, almost in a way of saying good work. I give a slight smile and then approach the group again, standing next to Potter.
"All right. Are we ready?" he asks, looking down at me. I look over to my two friends who nod.
It session goes wonderfully. Luna is standing back with me, motioning for Neville snap different poses of Potter. Potter, for his lack of liking to do anything with publicity, seems to be a perfect natural. I bet he's good at everything he tries. It seems like he's just that kind of man. I can feel my heart racing as he sits in the chair backwards facing the lake. I hope that I can sneak a few of these pictures for myself because the idea of Harry Potter looking off towards the lake like I've done so many times from near this tree takes my breath away.
"And that's a wrap!" Luna says as she bounces on her eyes. She must be visioning how her article will look with some of these photos of Harry Potter next to her writing. It's sure to be an outsold publication of the Quibbler.
Potter stands up and moves over towards me. He leans down to where I can feel his hot breath on my neck. A fire starts to burn deep in my stomach, catching all the fairies on fire and replacing them with a heat that will surely make me begin to melt to the ground any moment. "Will you walk back to Hogsmeade with me?"
I look towards Luna who's cocking her head to the side as Neville begins to pick up the blanket he had spread on the ground. She gives her head a nod like she wants to speak with me in private.
"Give me one moment," I whisper, looking up to him. He gives me that smile as I move towards Luna and he moves more towards Mr. Lupin. He stops to say something to Neville on the way.
Luna walks towards the lake, her hair fluttering behind her as she stands with her arms across her chest. "I'm worried about you," she says.
"What?" I ask. Isn't this the girl who couldn't wait to pair me up with this man?
"There's something about him, Hermione. I can't put my finger on it, but I don't think he's right for someone like you."
"What do you mean, someone like me?" I begin to feel irritated.
"You're so innocent, Hermione. I don't want him to hurt you. He could crush you with one glance."
"Luna, I'm a grown woman. I think I can handle myself around Harry Potter."
She nods her head. "Just please, be careful, Hermione. I don't know what I'd do if I lost my best friend."
I give her a quick hug. "I'll be fine, Luna. I promise." We walk back up to where Potter and Mr. Lupin are waiting for me to walk with them. Neville has disappeared back up to the castle with his camera and the few things that he brought down.
"Thank you again, Mr. Potter. I'll see you in a while, Hermione," Luna says before she turns to leave as well.
Instead of Mr. Lupin walking behind us this time, he seems to be keeping a good pace in front of us. This walk seems to take a lot longer than it did the first time around when we were walking to Hogwarts. I take my chance and look up at Potter to see him staring down at me.
"What are you thinking about?" he asks me softly.
My eyes go wide. Did he really just ask me what I was thinking about? This man…he has no idea the torture that is simply his being towards me. "The ground seems flatter this way," I smile.
He actually lets out a laugh at this statement, shaking his head at me. I'm glad I now have the proof that I needed to see that he thinks I'm funny. "What?" I ask, challenging my words to him. "I haven't seemed to trip this way at least, right?"
"Very true, Hermione. Very true… Is he your boyfriend?"
Again, my eyes go wide. Where does this man learn his etiquette skills? Surely he was taught that if you're going to ask something like that, you should probably have more a led in than simply asking the thoughts of the person.
"Who?"
"The photographer, Neville."
This time it's my turn to laugh at him. The way his face changes is so immediate it's almost scary. I shake my head at him. "No, Neville's not my boyfriend. Why would you think that?"
Potter shrugged. "The way he kept looking at you. He kept smiling at everything that you said. When you were putting up the charms around the area, instead of talking about how he wanted me to be sitting and such like he should have been, he kept going on about how you are the brightest witch of the century to come out of Hogwarts."
"He's more like my protective older brother. He likes to mention that to almost anyone."
Potter nods again, looking ahead as we walk. I take to looking at the ground. A few moments later, though, it seems like his curiosity gets the better of him again. "What about the man from yesterday, Malfoy? He seemed quite taken with you. You kept blushing at him."
I give him an almost disgusted look as he mentions the idea about Draco. "No. Draco is nothing like that. He only just started to be nice to me once he graduated from Hogwarts. One doesn't exactly fancy someone who used to be one of your biggest tormentors."
"He hurt you?" Potter's deadly serious now.
"Never physically. Luna and Neville helped me through the words."
"You seem nervous around people."
Seriously… Where does this man get off asking me these things? What is he trying to get at?!
"You," I whisper, looking back up from the ground to see him staring at me. "You're a very intimidating person."
"I am, Miss Granger. It's good for you to know that. Please don't look back down. I need to see your face to have some idea of what you're thinking. You're like a puzzle. One that I'm very…anxious…to solve."
I stop in my tracks. I'm the puzzle? Has he ever looked in the mirror? "No nearly as mysterious as you are, Mr. Potter."
"It would seem that we have a lot in common then," he says as he gives me that smile and continues to move forward, just expecting me to follow. Of course, I do.
"Are you like this with everyone?" I ask. I almost regret to hear the answer to this one.
"No, I'm not. Am I offending you?"
I shake my head as I catch up to him.
"Good," he says and looks down at me as I'm looking down at the ground.
"You're very controlling."
His eyes give off the darkness that I'd seen earlier. These looks, much like his soft smile, are beginning the fire within me again.
"I'm very use to getting my way, Hermione. In all things."
"I've noticed."
"You're a very defiant person."
"How so?"
"Your friend warned you to stay away from me, but here you stand. Walking to Hogsmeade with me makes little to no sense. You seem like a person of logic and facts. Especially with the way you keep biting your lip like you're so deep in thought you have to bring yourself out of it." Wow. He's very…observant.
"Why haven't you asked me to call you by your first name yet? We're not meeting in your office anymore," I look up into his eyes.
"The only people who call me Harry are my family and the few people I can call my friends, Miss Granger."
I nod. It hurts a little bit that he hasn't asked me considering how much we've been talking lately.
"Are you an only child?" he asks.
I'm beginning to wonder if this brilliant mind might suffer from a lack of focus, only to remember how focused he'd have to be to accomplish all that he has found such a young age. "Yes, I am."
"Tell me about your parents."
I give him a questioning look.
"If I remember correctly, you've already interviewed me. There were some very personal questions you asked. Answering one about your parents shouldn't be too probing, should it?"
"You never asked a question," I say as I roll my eyes at him.
"Using my own words against me now, Miss Granger."
"It's what I do, Mr. Potter. If you must know, they're enjoying their time in Australia. My father has found a passion with flowers. My mother enjoys spending her time reading."
He nods. "She must be where you got your love of books from."
I smile, nodding my head. "Yes. My mother often jokes that's the only trait I ever got from her."
"So you're more like your father then."
"Yes. My mother reminds me a lot of Luna. She's very mystical in her own way. If she were a witch, I'd wonder if she'd fancy herself a seer. My father has always been the logical one."
"Like father like daughter."
I nod. "The only thing I can't identify with him is his love of sports. He used to play football when he was at university. He never misses a match on the television. I've told you a bit about my parents, what about yours?"
He shrugged. "Molly's a stay-at-home mom. She raised eight children all who have gone off to make a name for themselves. Arthur's actually at the ministry with me. He leads our Misuse of Muggle Artifacts department. He's done a lot to turn his part of the Ministry around, especially with me as the minister."
"What about your siblings? You said that they all do something important."
"Bill's a curse breaker at Gringrotts. Charlie runs his own dragon camp in Romania. Percy went to the muggle world where he runs a nonprofit organization to help muggleborn students. Fred and George run their own business, WWW. Ron is a Quidditch recruiter. And finally, Ginny is in United States, studying art."
"That's a mouthful," I say. Without much actual feelings about them except for Arthur. "I hear the U.S. is lovely."
"It is, at least parts of it. Have you ever been?"
I shake my head.
"Would you like to go?"
Is this man for real? "Well, of course. There's a lot of history there, new and old. I'd really like to visit New York City, though."
His finger brushes over his lip, threatening to drive me insane. "Why?" he asks.
"I'd love to see the Statue of Liberty, Central Park…basically everything. Seeing a play on Broadway… It'd be amazing. The idea of walking down the streets there…It wouldn't be the same as here. Imagine sitting down on a bench, reading…" I get a little lost in my fantasy until I hit the word reading. I should be studying for my NEWTs, not taking a walk with Harry Potter!
"I really sure go back. I need to be studying."
"For your NEWTs?"
"Yes. They start in two days. I can't believe I'm not studying right now!" I feel myself blushing again. It's a part of me that will never go away. I need to know. Before I can go, though, I need to ask him just one more question. "Do you have a girlfriend?"
He gives me that dark stare again, shaking his head. "No, Miss Granger. I don't do the girlfriend thing."
Did he lie to me during the interview? How could he not do the girlfriend thing? Getting so lost in my thoughts wondering what he could mean by this, I don't realize that I'm about ready to fall flat on my face yet again and once more, I'm being held in his strong arms.