January 18, 2011 I have spent most of my weekend reading all your stories. I have to say that I think you guys are all such great writers and I thank you for sharing your stories with us.

I thought I might worn you that some of the questions I asked you will not be answered for quite a few chapters.

There are things that Dimitri is going to have to figure out about what has happened to Rose during the 7 years since he left. Rose herself will not give him answers but she never really lies to him ether. Others are not willing to give him easy answers ether so it will take a while for him to begin to figure things out.

You need to know that He never really understood everything about the bond and in this story he is not apt to understand things that are no easily proven though science.

Thank you to Rangarose for being my beta, please read her story. Thank You Apocalyptic Angel for being such a supportive niece and goddaughter.

I do not own VA but that which is mine I share with you

Chapter 2: Hello Alberta

Alberta was waiting for me to when I disembarked the plane. Her Guardian mask was in place and I groaned internally. I look up to Alberta and I know that I disappointed her when I left.

"Hello and Good morning Guardian Belikov how was your flight?"

"Well the flight was ok but there were lots of ghosts of my past visiting me in the form of memories."

"Yes I am sure that there were. I am afraid that there are more waiting for you here." Her voice was still a bit cool but there was a hint of sympathy in it.

"Alberta after the way I mucked things up I am surprised that you are being so polite to me."

"Rosemarie asked those of us who knew about your past not to hold it against you. So I am trying."

"That is extremely kind of her considering how I left things." My heart began to pound again. I wondered if there could be a light at the end of the tunnel.

"Rosemarie has grown and changed over the last seven years. She has a remarkable capacity for compassion. She knows that the reassignment was going to be very difficult for you."

"How is she? Is she here? Do you think she will talk to me?" I realized that I lost control and shut my mouth. Alberta looked at me and her eyes told me that I over stepped a boundary. When she spoke her voice was a little cooler.

"Guardian Belikov I am sure she would prefer that we not talk about her. At the moment she is on assignment from the queen. She is my co Captain of the Guardians so she will have to speak to you but I am sure that she would prefer to keep any interaction between you on a professional level." She pulled a note out of her pocket and handed it to me.

"Take a few minutes and then meet me in Kirkova's office." I hoped beyond hope that the note was from Roza. I unfolded the note and found Alberta's neat script.

Guardian Belikov
Tasha Ozera called while you were still in transit.
She would like for you to call as soon as possible.
Conner wants to talk to his daddy before bed.

PS. Congratulations on being a father.
Alberta

I pulled out my cell phone which had been off for the duration of the flight. I waited while it turned on then hit home on the speed dial.

"Ozera Residence."
"Tasha it's me."
"Oh Thank goodness you called so soon." I could hear her muffle the phone before calling Conner.
"Daddy!"
"Hello My Big Boy! Are you being good for mommy?"
"Yeah I am being good. Are you being good too daddy?"
"Yes Conner Daddy is being good. I miss you and I love you."
"I love you too daddy." I wiped a tear from my eye.
"Give mommy the phone and go lay down on your bed. Mommy will be there in a few minutes to tuck you in." I hear him handing over the phone and then hear the sound of his feet; as he runs to his room.
"Dimka thank you for calling we miss you so much."
"I miss you too. I never thought that this would be so hard. I know that what we have isn't a romantic relationship but I miss you and Conner so much already. Jonathan Conta is a great guy and I am happy for the both of you but I am afraid that he is going to take my place in Conner's heart."
"Dimka you're his father; no one can take your place."

I paused briefly gathering my thoughts.

"I've been sent back to St Vladimir's …She's here you know. I never considered coming back here again. And I never really thought I would work with her. I don't even know how to face her." I felt another tear role down my cheek. I wiped it away with my hand.
"Dimka, Breath. Wait till you are in your room tonight to break down. For now you have to be brave. Things happen for a reason and maybe this is happening so that you can find your way back to her. I am willing to bet that she still loves you but she is also going to be very hurt so you have to take your time with her."
"Thank you, Tasha. I have to go to a meeting but I will call you soon."
"Ok bye for now and good luck Dimka."

I flipped my phone closed and thought about my family. It was only 6:30 pm here but in Mane where Tasha and I had moved to a year ago it would be 8:30 and I would normally have gotten Connor ready for bed and tucked him in. Walking on the beach with him in the evenings listening to him tell me about his day was always my favorite way to get him to wind down for the night. Then I would read to him, he loved the funny way that I spoke for the characters in his story books. I am going to miss the way his blue eyes shine when he calls me daddy.

The familiar wave of guilt washed over me. I realize once again that I left Roza because I was jealous. I was jealous that she wanted something I couldn't give her. I was jealous that she might be willing to ask someone else to give her a child. I was especially upset that the person she was most likely to conceive with was Adrian. Though it is not something I like to talk about I am Adrian's half brother. I don't think that Adrian even knows but the fact still bugged me a little. Strange thing is that over the years I have begun to think that maybe he would be the only man I would have been able to accept leaving her with. I think he does genuinely care for her.

Even though she and he both flirted constantly he seemed to actually respect the relationship that I had with her. In fact he tried to convince me not to leave. It happened early in the day Rose had gone with Lissa and Adrian to court. I was on shift walking the wards and trying not to think about what I was going to do the next day. I heard someone walk up to me and I turned to look.

"Can I do something for you Lord Ivashkov?"

"Yes as a matter of fact. Could I speak to you for a moment?" I nodded and stood at ease.

"I know what you have been thinking and I need to tell you that you are wrong. Rose loves you and only you. You have a special connection that is indescribable. But if you don't open up your mind and stop thinking in black and white you are going to miss out on something truly miraculous."

"There is nothing miraculous about a Dhampir girl getting knocked up by a Moroi guy. I guess that you are a much better choice than that Zeklos kid." I took a breath. "Look I really want her to be happy but I just can't watch her have a child with someone else. How could I love some other man's child? How can I be with a woman who has a child I don't want?"

"Belikov you are such a close minded ass and I feel sorry for you. You don't deserve Rose. You don't deserve the gift she has for you. One day you may realize how very wrong you are. When that day comes you will have to live with the reality of what you let go. The time you lose can never be gotten back." With that he walked away.

That was the last time I spoke to him. Here I am, seven years later and I have to admit that he was so right. If I could have let go of my jealousy and opened my heart and mind than we could have looked into our options. If she did decide to become a mother I could have loved her child because it was hers. There is no way that I can go back in time and change what I have done. I wasn't worthy of Roza or the gift of her love.

A breeze blew past my face cooling the tears that had gone unnoticed. I wiped them away and tried to put up my Guardian mask as I entered the administration building. I tried not to think about the day I brought The Princess and Rose back to the academy. I had to chuckle at myself for thinking that I understood how my Roza felt coming back after having run away. Only she ran away to protect her best friend from some unseen danger. I ran away from the best thing. I ran away from my love because I was afraid of being hurt. Kirkova's office door was open and I tapped on the doorframe.

POP QUIZ

1. Why do you think Rose wanted Alberta and the others who knew about them Not to hold it against him?

2. How do you think the other guardians and faculty will treat him?

3. Dimitri is nervous about working with Rose. How do you think she will react towards him when she gets back from her assignment?

4. Dimitri thinks back to when he brought Rose and Lissa back after they ran away and says he understands how they felt. Do you think it is a fare comparison.

5. Most of you believe the little flower girl at Lissa's wedding was Annemarie. How old do you think Annemarie will look now if she looked around five then?

Please complete your quiz and pass them to the front of the class using the review button

Snowgoose