January 20, 2011

Thank you for all the reviews. I love them and they have made me very happy.

I really think I might need to warn you all. When it comes to Dimitri realizing the relationship between Annemarie and Rose or (Himself), he is not stupid; but he is ignorant of the possabilities. In this story he has a very scientific mind and things that are super natural are very difficult for him to accept as real. From his point of view there is no possible way that Annemarie could be Rose's child, let alone his. Please don't hate me but you will understand later. And YES the truth will be revealed in time.

I do not own VA but that which is mine I happily share with you.

Chapter 3: It's Confidential.

Kirkova's office door was open and I tapped on the doorframe.

"Come in Guardian Belikov. Please have a seat." Alberta was sitting in one of the two seats in front of the desk, I took the other.

"Good morning Headmistress Kirkova, Alberta." I looked around the room. I remembered the night I brought the girls back to school. That day had changed my life so much. I had a feeling that this day was going to be another life changing day.

"Guardian Belikov I am glad that you accepted the assignment. I could not think of a better Mentor for this particular student. Annemarie requires someone with patience but who will not coddle her. It is very important that she learn proper technique and discipline. Guardian Hathaway is her current mentor but unfortunately she is away from the academy sometimes up to a week every month and when she is here she has a number of other responsibilities. It was important that we find the right person and I suggested you. Guardian Hathaway agreed that you would be the best choice however she was very reluctant to take you from your family."

I feel another stab of guilt. Rose knows that Tasha had a child and she obviously thinks that Connor is mine. I really hope that she doesn't hate me as much as I hate myself.

"I must admit I am very curious to meet this girl. She must be very special since Queen Tatiana herself asked me to mentor her."

Kirkova picked up a very thin folder and handed it to me. It looked much too thin to be a student file.

"You have no idea how special she is. I would have to guess the fact that she is special to Lord Adrian Ivashkov might have some bearing with the Queen as well."

"Adrian Ivashkov?" I frowned. Part of me was still upset because I felt as if he stole Roza from me. I have to face the reality. I gave my Roza away. I never fought for her. In fact I never even waited to find out if I needed to fight for her.

I opened the file. On the first page was a picture that took my breath away. The face that looked back at me could have been a picture of a very young Rose Hathaway. The eyes were a little different in color and shape but her brow and mouth were so much like my Roza. Even the slightly sarcastic glint in her eye reminded me of Roza. I stifle a sigh and turn the page. What I find on the personal information page does nothing but completely confound me.

First Name: Annemarie Middle Name: B._ Last Name: withheld (Please used Donnelley)

Age: Actual age withheld. Approximate age 11 Date of Birth: February 18 (year withheld)

Gender: Female Place of birth: Gramville Community, PA. USA. Race: Dhampir (Technically)

Mother: Name Withheld Father: Name Withheld

Emergency contacts: Guardian Hathaway, Adrian Ivashkov, Lissa Ozera Dragomir, Christian Ozera Dragomir.

Grade Level: Academic level ranges from 7-9 Novice training ranges from 9-10

Dorm: Not applicable.

Other Information: Annemarie is not to leave campus without the company of her Guardian Mikhail Tanner and the permission of Guardian Hathaway. When working with Annemarie it is important to understand that her age is actually quite younger than she appears. She is a very sweet child and is usually eager to prove herself. However she is also willful and stubborn at times. She is very sensitive and tends to lose control of her emotions. It is extremely important that she learn self control. It is also very important to be in a calm frame of mind when working with Annemarie due to the fact that she is very sensitive to the emotions of others. Annemarie will sometimes have special training with Guardian Hathaway. Though Guardian Belikov will be her Primary mentor he is to report weekly to Guardian Hathaway to discuss her progress.

"Ellen, Alberta is this, a joke? Half of her information is missing and the rest doesn't make sense."

"No it is not a joke. I am sorry that there is so much information withheld but I am afraid that the queen herself asked that it be so. She asked that any information that can be used to Identify Annemarie's family be withheld."

"Ok I won't even ask why so much is being withheld but some of this just makes no sense at all. First of all how can she be technically a Dhampir? You list an approximate age of 11; then in the additional information it says that she is "quite younger than she appears"? Her grade level is all over the place between 7th-10th grades. Most 11yr olds are in the 6th grade."

"Annemarie is truly a very special and unique child. There are certain things about her that are not easily explained. Observe her with an open mind. Think along the lines of all the strange things that the shadow kissed and spirit wielders can do. She grew and aged at an accelerated rate for the first part of her life. This is going to be the first year that she has attended classes with other children. Up until now she has been privately tutored and trained. Her class schedule will reflect her abilities in each subject."

"She's a Dhampir with a sanctioned Guardian. Even with a high ranking royal parent she wouldn't qualify for a guardian under the current rules. So how did she get assigned a guardian?"

Alberta turned to me. Her guardian mask was completely down and the concern she had for my student was clear on her face.

"As Kirkova has said; Annemarie is a very special child. She will have abilities that will make her very dangerous to Stigoi. Because of this the Stigoi want her dead. In fact the day she was born her mother was attacked by Strigoi who tried to take the child by cutting into the poor woman. The mother's friends managed to fight the Strigoi and save both her and Annemarie. There have been several attempt on them both ever since. She has not been outside of the wards without at least 3 guardians in years. She has Guardian Tanner who is her sanctioned guardian and she has Nikolai and Ivan who are un-promised guardians that her grandfather hired for her."

I swallowed back the sorrow I felt for this sheltered little girl. I try to calm myself with the last question I had.

"This says not applicable where it should say her dorm number. If she doesn't live in a dorm then where does she live?"

"Guardian Hathaway takes care of a number of children who do not have families. Some are children of Guardians who have been taken or killed and some were given to the Academy to be razed as she had. Most are too young to live in the dorms. The Queen has had a home built on campus for Rose and the children. This is where Annemarie lives."

I looked back at her picture feeling dumbfounded. This child who looked so much like my Roza baffled me. I thought about the Strigoi hunting her and it made me feel angry and protective. It has always been in my nature to be protective but knowing that this girl was under Roza's care; made me want to protect her even more, for Roza.

Alberta stood up and seeing the movement I got to my feet. Kirkova dismissed us and we left her office heading to the guardian building. As we walked I could not hold my curiosity any more.

"Is she married? Did she ever have the child she wanted to have?" To my surprise she answered me.

"Adrian has stood by her side and been a true friend to her. He always loved her and there was a point in time that he tried to win her heart but in the end she decided that it would be best if they were just good friends. He is still her devoted friend. Over the years she has gone on dates but she has not had any lasting relationships. The fact that she doesn't let her dates get very far has earned her the nickname of Virgin Rosemarie. Of course they would never call her that to her face. If you want to know if she had a child you will have to ask her about it yourself. I will tell you that things did not go the way she had hoped that they would. She has endured a lot of heartache over it." I wonder what the hell that is supposed to mean.

"Alberta I suspected that she was already pregnant when I left. Did she miscarry?" Alberta's mask slipped for a second and I could tell she was angered by my confession and she wanted to let me have it.

"Dimitri Belikov you suspected she was pregnant but you didn't stay to find out. Why would you do that to a woman who you swore your love to?" Her voice was hard and her shaking hands were in fists.

"I was afraid of the answer. The idea of Ivashkov or anyone else touching her that way was more than I could bear. How could I stay with her when every time I saw her child I would be reminded that someone other than me had made love to her." Her anger and disappointment was still clear on her face but she held back and continued to converse with me.

"Do you regret your decision?" I could not help but sigh.

"I lost so much when I left her. She was and still is the only woman I have ever loved. I haven't been the same without her. According to Tasha I lost my spark. I wonder about her constantly. Did she ever marry and have the child that she wanted? Is she happy? Does she hate me as much as I hate myself? I left because I didn't want to see her conceive a child with another man but I wanted her to be able to have a child if she wanted to. I didn't want her to have to give up motherhood for me. The funny thing is that I didn't think I could ever love a child who wasn't mine." I chewed my lip for a moment. "Connor is not biologically my child yet I couldn't love him more if he was really mine. He has brought me so much Joy that sometimes the hole I have in my heart doesn't hurt so much….. I just wish I had learned that lesson before I left the other half of my soul."

Alberta stayed quiet just listening. I am grateful that she is letting me talk. Tasha is my best friend but sometimes it was hard to share my feelings about My Roza with her. Alberta and I walked in silence for a few moments and I knew that I should just stay quiet but my heart ached to find out more about Roza. I thought about how my new student looked so much like my Roza.

"Is Annemarie related to Rose?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Alberta, I'm not blind. They look so similar they could be sisters. I heard her mother has had another child but Annemarie looks too old to be a three year old no matter what the profile says about her being much younger than she appears. She doesn't look like Janine so I was wondering if perhaps they are cousins." Alberta outright laughed at me. I shot her a look and she quickly sobered up.

"Sorry, I am not permitted to tell you what relation they are but I can tell you that they are related. I laughed because I won the bet. Rosemarie didn't think you would see the resemblance at all until you saw them together and I thought you would see it right away."

"Why would she think I wouldn't see it till I see them together?"

"It has been seven years since you last saw her. She said that she could barely remember the faces of some of the students she went to school with most of her life; why would you remember a student you only taught for seven months."

"She was so much more than just a student to me and she knows that. I see her every day in my mind. Her face is etched into my heart."

"Do you honestly expect her to believe that she was anything more than another student? It is easier for her to think that she was just another student then acknowledge that she was just a notch on your belt." I froze in my tracks. My hands balled at my sides. She stopped and faced me.

"How dare you say that she was a notch on my belt?" I felt myself tremble with anger. Through her guardian mask I could see rage build in her eyes.

"I am not the one who said it. The day you left Rose said it. Every so often she says it again." My heart sank. My poor Roza, what have I done to her.

"Does she hate me? I wouldn't blame her if she hates me because I hate myself."

"Rosemarie is a remarkable woman and she has found it in her heart to forgive you. I know that she has wished you happiness. However I would not try to think that she is over it. She is a complete conundrum on one hand she is the most giving and loving person that anyone could meet. The devotion she has to the children in her care is fierce. Her love is something almost palpable in its strength. She has a very tight knit circle of friends most of which she has known since she was still in school. To those who she is close to, she can be warm and friendly."

"But?"

"Well on the other hand she is super professional. She keeps her guard up almost all the time and many think that she is a bit cold. She doesn't let people get too close to her; physically or emotionally. There are a few people who she is still close to; most of them as I said, have been her friends since when she was in school. As you can imagine nearly every male teacher and guardian here with the exception of the ones who are married or already in a relationship; have asked to go on a date with her at some point or another. She is very beautiful and despite her professionalism if you get her to let her guard down the real Rose is still in her, buried deep. Unfortunately she doesn't let anyone get close enough to pull down her walls. It is only with her closest friends that she is herself but even then it is not all the time. When she is with the children she is most herself."

I suppressed my jealousy at those who dared to go out with my Roza. I had to remind myself that I left her. She had every right to go out with others. I wanted her to find happiness and I guess I had assumed that she would have ended up with Adrian.

"If she wasn't interested, then why agree to go on dates? Why has she closed her self off to all but her closest friends? The Rose I remember was vivacious and flirtatious. She made friends with people easily despite her hot temper and sarcastic remarks."

"She consented to dates because she was looking for something that she just couldn't find. Why is she closed off? The short answer is that she is afraid to let people in. She has a hard time trusting almost everyone."

I feel another wave of guilt. I know that I am the reason she has lost the ability to trust. I decided to change the subject.

"Annemarie must be a good fighter if she is in Novice classes that are 3-4 years ahead of her peers."

"She is a very good fighter. She still can't pin down any of her instructors but she can hold her own with her classmates despite the fact that they are all much taller and heavier than her. I do think that I should warn you that she is learning two different types of techniques. She is learning the traditional novice techniques and she is learning something different in private lessons with Guardian Hathaway."

Alberta was quiet the rest of the way to her office. I took this as a cue to stay quiet even though my mind was a whirl with thoughts and questions.

POP QUIZ

1. Annemarie's last name is withheld but he is asked to use Donnelley. If you have read So What Now could you tell me what is so significant about that Last Name? Hint the answer is in chapter 33 and 36 and a few places after that. If you haven't read the other story don't worry; Annemarie will give you the answer in a few more chapters.

2. Why do you think that her student profile says she is Technically a Dhampir?

3. Annemarie is very well guarded. Do you think that it is necessary to have 3 guardians even when she is living at the academy?

4. Alberta tells Dimitri the story of Annemarie's tragic birth. How do you think that this effected her mother?

6. Rose really doesn't expect Dimitri to see the resemblance between her and Annemarie even to the point of making a bet with Alberta. Why do you think that she felt so adamantly about it?

Don't worry if you don't know the answers. This story is an alternate timeline to my first story So What Now. There are a lot of things that are unchanging elements of that story will resurface her tool. If you haven't read it and don't feel like reading it that is ok. I will eventually explain things here that have already been explained there. I like to hear what you think so even if you don't know the answers feel free to take the quiz or just review because it make me happy.

Snowgoose AKA Suzanna