January 23, 2011

Just a note to start with . For those who have read So What Now, in that story Mikhail Tanner had committed suicide after killing Sonya Karp (I misspelled it as Carp in SWN) but In this story He had been unsuccessful in finding her and she is still Strigoi. Rose befriended him while she and Lissa were at court and she asked for him to be assigned to Annemarie, sparing him from a life in the records room.

My Father's 84th Birthday was this weekend and we celebrated with him. He is doing good and may be coming Home on Valentine's Day so Yeah! I myself turned 39 two weeks ago Yikes! And Life goes on.

I want to thank My niece Theresa AKA (The Apocalyptic Angel) for being so supportive with my writing. A Big Thank you to Rangarose for being my beta. You Rock!

Chapter 4: Observations

We reached Alberta's office and standing outside of it was a Guardian that I was not familiar with.

"Mikhail, how are you this morning?" Alberta smiled at him and he returned it but his smile never really went to his eyes. His hazel eyes seemed to have a permanent hint of sorrow.

"I'm good I just left the cottage house a few min ago. Annemarie just woke up so I have about hour before I have to go back for her."

"I think that should be plenty of time." She looked at me. "Guardian Tanner is Annemarie's sanctioned guardian and he will explain Annemarie's schedule to you. Guardian Tanner this is Guardian Belikov and he will be Marie's mentor." She turned and walked into her office. I offered my hand to Guardian Tanner and he shook it.

"It is nice to meet you. Please pardon my rudeness but are you by any chance the same Dimitri Belikov that Rosemarie once dated?" Wow that was kind of rude. How did he know about me and Roza? The year we were together He was out hunting his girlfriend who willingly turned Strigoi.

"Yes I am. Are you the same Mikhail Tanner who dated Sonya Carp?" The pain in his eyes intensified.

"I am." I felt guilty immediately.

"I am sorry Guardian Tanner. I shouldn't have gone there. I guess I was surprised that you knew about the relationship I once had with Guardian Hathaway."

"Well your past history with her isn't something that she talks openly about. As Annemarie's Guardian I live in the Cottage with Rosemarie and the children. My living quarters are on the bottom floor not far from hers; I have heard her talk in her sleep. I don't think she would be happy with me for asking you about it. I guess I let my curiosity get the better of me. It was unprofessional of me to ask. I am sorry to have mentioned it."

Part of me wants to know what it is she says about me in her sleep. I think better of it and decide to change the subject.

"So tell me about Annemarie."

We went to the staff dining hall to eat breakfast while we talked. Mikhail spent the next half an hour explaining her current schedule and how it would be changing once she began her lessons with me. I could tell that he was very fond of Annemarie and he often referred to her as Marie. He explained that only the people she was closest to were allowed call her Marie. After sharing some more information about her sensitivity and temper he left to go back to the cottage house and walk her to class.

When he left I looked around the room to see if I could see any familiar faces. Yuri and Stan had just gotten up and walked out of the room. I didn't bother going after them, I am sure that I will bump into them some time soon.

In a quiet corner of the room I saw a pair of jade green eyes staring off into nowhere. The front of her hair was clipped up in a barrette but the back of it cascaded down her back and shoulders. Though I recognized the blank look on her face I was surprised to see it on her. I cleared my tray I took only my mug of hot chocolate and went over to sit at her table. She took no notice of me as I sat down. A few minutes later she blinked her eyes. She jumped a few inches into the air when she saw me sitting in front of her. When I spoke I couldn't keep the concern out of my voice. Rose usually didn't slip into Lissa's head when she was in public. At times when the princess was in upset or in danger Rose would get sucked in without her control.

"I am sorry to frighten you Princess. I won't ask what she is doing I just want to know if she is safe."

"Damn it Belikov you scared the crap out of me. Yes she is safe now. How did you know that she was in any danger?"

"I remember when she would get sucked into your head. My guess is that the bond has strengthened?"

"Yes it happened when Rose was….. Well it happened after graduation." She was about to say something but caught herself before she said it.

"Was there a catalyst?" She squirmed a bit in her seat. She closed her eyes and I could tell she was talking to Rose thought the bond. I sighed internally knowing that I was not going to get an answer.

"All I can say is that it was a good thing that the bond goes both ways now. Also Rose thanks you for your concern but she says that it is not your place to worry about her. Your concern now should be getting to Annemarie's class to observe her." I pulled out my pocket watch and looked at the time.

"Yes I suppose she is right. It was nice to see you again princess. Please tell Christian and the girls that I said hi."

Lissa and Christian were always polite to me but I always felt a bit of resentment from both of them. After they were married they came to visit Tasha once a year. Rose was never with them and they never said much about her. I was really glad to see Lissa; she is a connection to my Roza.

I stood up and began to leave but Lissa grabbed hold of my hand. I turned to see her standing next to me. Her eyes were wide with worry.

"I know that you still love her and you probably are hoping for a second chance. Don't. What you did cut her to her soul. She has been changed by it in so many ways and even though she seems strong; she is more vulnerable than she ever was when you last knew her. You of all people in this world are the most dangerous person to her. If you hurt her again….. It really could kill her."

"I would rather die myself, than hurt her." Lissa let my hand go. Looking at my pocket watch I began to jog to the lower campus. The whole way there I think about everything that Alberta told me about Roza. I add to that the little that Guardian Tanner and Princess Vasilisa have said. Guilt consumes me. I want to take her into my arms and erase the last seven years. I want to take back everything. I know that nothing I do or say will change the past. Nothing I do will fix the damage I have done.

I reached Annemarie's class and slip into the back of the room. She is seated just in front of me. Already I can see that she is pouting about something. There is a red headed Moroi boy standing up reading from the book. When he is done Annemarie stuck her hand up with enthusiasm only to resume pouting when the teacher called the girl standing behind the boy. Very soon it was obvious that the teacher was going row by row but Annemarie didn't want to wait her turn. When it was legitimately her turn she refused to read. I was amazed by her behaviour because it reminded me of the children Connor's age.

Over the next two days I noticed that she had very little patience for waiting her turn. When other children teased her for acting like a baby she would try to kick or punch them. I say try because more often than not Guardian Tanner would catch her flying limb and stop her from harming the other children. There was no doubt in my mind that Annemarie was academically placed in the correct classes but most of the time her behavior reminded me of a kindergartner.

Her behaviour was even more noticeable in the guardian courses she had on the upper campus. The teenagers there had very little patience for her tantrums and Stan had even less though I did notice that he had an underlying fondness for the girl. In the combat classes she defiantly held her own. It was during her combat classes that she really reminded me of my Roza. She fought like Roza. I did see the compassion that Ellen and Alberta spoke of. I saw her stand up for other children who were being picked on. Also when someone in her combat classes was injured she would always insist on inspecting the injury and placing a hand or even a kiss on it; well as long as it was not in a more personal aria.

From what I could tell she was not a bad child but you could see the effect of not being fully socialized with other children. I wondered how on earth I was going to teach her patience and self control.

I called Tasha that night.

"Hello Ozera residence"

"Tasha it's me."

"Dimka, how are things going?"

"Not good. From what I can tell I am going to have a hard time with my student. In some ways she is so much like Rose but mostly she is a polar opposite. When I started with Rose she may have lacked self control but she was so mature. She understood what it meant to be a guardian. This girl is extremely immature. I can see the potential in her to be a great guardian one day but I don't know how I can make her grow up."

"Have you talked to Rose yet?"

"No but I have an appointment with her tomorrow. I am so nervous. Tasha when I left I destroyed the woman I loved and I am afraid to see what I left behind. On one hand I hear that she is the best guardian that the queen has in her troops and yet on the other hand I hear how she is too hurt to trust people. That the once friendly, sarcastic, vivacious, girl is now a cold, professional woman. She is only warm and open with her closest friends and the children."

"That is so sad. I am sorry that she has changed so much but maybe with you there she will warm up. Maybe she will give you another chance."

"Lissa begged me not to pursue her. She said that even though Rose seems so 'strong that she is even more vulnerable than she was seven years ago and that if I hurt her again it could kill her.' Tasha I don't understand what she meant but I know that she was being very serious."

"Well Dimka don't rush into things no matter how much you might want to. Give Rose time to learn to trust you again. I know how much you love her and I remember how much she loved you. I can't promise that you will be able to be together again but maybe you can be friends."

"Great, if I am lucky I might be able to be friends with the love of my life."

"Sorry Dimka, it's the best I can give you right now."

"I know, thanks for listening to me vent about this. Hey when Conner gets back from school tell him I called and that I love him. Have a good day Tasha."

"Good night to you Dimka. Get your rest I bet your going to need it."

I decided to set out my clothes for tomorrow. For what it's worth I want to look good for her tomorrow. It took a while but sleep eventually found me and dreams I have not had in years came to me like ghosts from the past.

POP QUIZ

Guardian Tanner tells Dimitri that Rose's room is on the bottom floor of the cottage house. Why do you think she would be down on the first floor instead or up on the second with the children?

What do you think was the catalyst that allowed Rose and Lissa's bond to go both ways?

Why was Rose in danger?

Why did Lissa tell that if he hurt Rose again, it could kill her. (No, Rose never tried to hurt herself after he left.)

Now that you got a peek at Annemarie what do you think of her?

Why do you think Annemarie is so insistent on checking out the injuries of her classmates? The hint for this one is in So What Now, Annemarie and Theresa share a common trait though they are not the same child.

How do you think Dimitri will teach her the control she needs to learn?

Please Read and Review. I have gotten so many of you add me to their alerts and favorites lists and I thank you, it tells me that you like my work. I would Love it if you review and let me know what you like and think.

Suzanna AKA SnowGoose