Thank you everyone for the love! I know fan fiction can tend to get a little fluffy, so I decided to play it the realest way I could with this story. Chuck is trying to be the man he wants to be, not only for himself, but for Blair. These two deserve a shot at their fairytale and that's not going to happen if they don't grow up a bit. Enjoy! Please, leave your thoughts in the reviews, it is serious motivation! Thanks! Xo, F
Days later, they were still numb. Blair's parents were beyond perplexed - a prince gone, a secret pregnancy, a tragic accident, and Chuck Bass, yet again. It was a whole lot to swallow. Of course no one was saying anything because, really, what do you say? Blair was on the verge of breaking into a million pieces and Chuck, who would not leave her a side for a second, was even worse for wear. Eggshells, every one of them was walking on them. No one spoke of Louis and no one was mentioning the baby.
Chuck wanted nothing more than to make it disappear. He couldn't bear all the formalities of grieving: the constant company, the comfort food, and the concerned looks. Besides Blair, these people had been the only family he had, even when he didn't want it that way. He knew they all meant well—Eleanor, Cyrus, Lily, Rufus, Serena, Nate, even Humphrey—but he was suffocating. Blair was, too. She hadn't left their bedroom for days, with Audrey on repeat—she tried to block out the past 72 hours.
Everything was in slow motion. The past few days had been a serious fog. They had seen dark days before, but those were usually accompanied by many glasses of scotch, so it made it bearable. This loss, this was a different beast. The two of them were the saddest sight for sore eyes.
It was only a few hours that he knew, but those hours gave him more life than he had seen in a long time, before it was all gone. Their bodies reunited, while their hearts were reaffirming the strength of their past and reconnecting over a promising and exciting future. And their baby—oh, that beautiful baby—the idea of a boy in a bow tie or a girl in a bow? It killed him. He was dreaming in pink and blue the night before the accident and it was ripped away from them faster than anything had before. They were robbed of their happiness again.
He found her clutching that purple blanket all the time. When he told her he bought the same one, she lost it.
"I just wanted something to believe in again," she said to him one night. It was really late and they just lay there, but knew that neither of them was sleeping.
"I know what you mean,"
"I just feel like, for so long, I have felt like everything I did was for someone else and not for me."
"And what was your engagement?"
Please Chuck, we both knew the reason I walked away was because you made me."
"I thought—"
"I know and I love you for trying to make me happy. When I found out I was pregnant, I thought it was all over, all the plans of reining my own empire—"
"But, Blair—"
"—No, listen to me, please. It changed for me. The panic faded, all my fears of how and why and what would be said—just like that and it didn't matter what happened anymore. It's amazing how fast it all comes together in your head when you realize you're going to be a parent. It all just—"
"—shifts"
"Yes. How did you know?"
"Because, I practically bought out every baby boutique on the entire Upper East Side in one afternoon."
They were silent for a few minutes.
"Blair, Something truly terrible happened there, but it doesn't mean it's the end. This baby, our baby was loved and always will be. It's what brought you back to me, it gave us another chance—"
"—and what about her chance or his chance?"
"It was stolen."
"Don't tell me that I should have something to believe in when the only thing that was keeping me going was the idea of a life together, and idea of a family—with you."
"This house was made for a family, for our family. I didn't care how long it took—days, months, years—I knew it would be ours. I knew we would find our way back to each other and start fresh. You are my family, Blair. You have to know that. You have to know that all of this wasn't for nothing—it may have torn us apart, lose our minds, but we have proved stronger than anything."
He was the one crying, now; she turned and wiped the tears from his face.
"Let's say goodbye," was the only thing he could muster in between hiccupped breaths.
# # # # #
Yet again, they found themselves wandering the city in pajamas.
This time, they had ended up at St. Ignatius of Loyola, a church just a few blocks away from their townhouse.
The door was open and they walked in.
"I don't even know what to do."
"Me either."
"Let's just sit here for a little while and say a few things."
"I think can help with that"
They turned to find an endearing older man—a priest standing behind them.
"Hello there, what can I do you for?"
"H-h-hello, father. I'm Chuck Bass. This is my—this is Blair Waldorf. I'm sorry we're here so late. We don't really know how to do this sort of thing." Chuck said.
"What sort of thing might that be?"
"W-well, there was an accident—"
Blair's head was down the whole time; there she sat in the last pew, in her silk pajamas and a trench coat. He saw the bruises on her face.
"You're the girl aren't you, my dear? The girl from the accident in front of The Met?"
She couldn't say anything, but nod. Chuck grabbed her hand.
"There is no greater sadness then saying goodbye to your own child. Come, let us pray."
They literally just went through the motions of prayer, each without a clue, but holding on to the same thought, the only one that mattered.
As they were leaving, the priest turned to them.
"I can see the love you have for each other. This was an awful tragedy, but don't let it drag you apart. This world is a dark place as it is, don't get lost. It's time like these that bring people together, for support. Please come back anytime. May God bless you and your little one."
###
/
Weeks passed. The two of them were inseparable, staying in, ordering food, watching movies; the only time they weren't together or alone was when Chuck was at the office or when Serena and Nate stopped by. He only went to a few days out of the week since she wasn't ready to really go out yet and be seen by Gossip Girl.
En route from her doctor's appointment, the limo took a detour.
"Arthur? Where are we going?"
"Miss Waldorf, Mr. Bass said not to tell you a thing."
"I'm sure he did."
When the car came to a stop, Chuck was there to open the door.
"Hello, beautiful."
"Chuck, you know I'm not ready."
"A little fresh air won't kill you, besides; I know you'll enjoy this."
They were at the Plaza.
"You have a massage in 15, then a full spa day thereafter—"
"—Chuckkkkk," she opposed.
"Since when do you deny a Plaza pampering, really? Blair, you have been cooped up in the house for weeks. As much as I love leaving the house and coming home to find you still in my robe, it's time you rejoin the world."
"What about Gossip Girl?"
"What about her? We're forever—and I'll be damned if I let some jealous blogger ruin it for us. You are Queen; you don't take that from people, especially her. Now, let's get you rubbed down, shall we? I'll meet you after—and don't give me that pouty lip."
"But, Chuck..." she begged.
"Blair, it's okay to enjoy yourself, it doesn't mean you're a bad person or at least that's what my doctor tells me. "
"Charles Bartholomew Bass. Get in the limo—NOW."
"I love it when you talk like that."
"NOW."
He stepped in and she slid in next to him. Blair put the partition up. "Sorry, Arthur."
"No problem, Miss Waldorf."
She turned to him with pleading eyes. "What doctor? What haven't you been telling me?"
"Well, I started seeing a therapist after the accident. I was so angry and bitter and I didn't want to go down that road. This isn't about me, this is about us, and so I am talking out all my issues, well as best I can at least."
Her face changed—she was the furthest thing from angry at him.
"That is so great, Chuck. I am really proud of you."
"I thought what kind of husband and father could I be if I have my own demons to deal with."
"Husband?"
"Don't get your panties in a bunch, Waldorf. I am just implying that I'm determined to get it right this time."
She smirked. "A townhouse, the Plaza, a therapist... Who are you?"
"Stay tuned, I'm full of surprises." He leaned over and planted a full kiss on her red lips.
"Now, hop to it. I'll see you a bit—we have plans tonight."
"Plans?"