Disclaimer: The usual. I don't own Dragon Age and make no profit.

Chapter 5: Breaking

I can't believe I just did that, Alistair thought as he paced the small room at the Pearl. He looked at his hands in horror, noting the blood marking one and still imagining gripping her neck with the other. I am just like the monster she killed that day, he thought, The death of one monster brought her to the hands of another.

There was a knock on the door before Alan burst through with a wide smile. "You'll never believe our luck!" he started. "We've been hired as a subgroup of the city guard! It's fulltime pay!"

Alistair stared at the cheery man with a frown. "Is the city that shorthanded of guards?"

"Well, many have chosen to travel with the Queen and the Wardens to Redcliffe to battle the Blight. The city guard has lost many to the army," Alan said excitedly, "Which means we get to stay put for a while and make some coin. I know it doesn't mean much to you, Duncan, but we usually never stay in a city for more than three nights. It will be a welcome change."

"I understand, Alan. I am happy to be considered part of your team," Alistair said as he moved to sit in the armchair near the fireplace.

"Is something bothering you, Duncan?"

Alistair sighed. "I just really miss someone," he said finally.

"Ah," Alan said, voice dropping with the mood. "Lost someone to the Darkspawn?"

"You can't lose someone if you never had them," Alistair said viciously.

"Then how can you miss them?" Alan asked with a grin.

Alistair paused and thought for a few moments. "She was my light in the darkness," he began. "The beauty amidst all the death and decay. Without her, I would have been lost."

"What happened to her?" Alan said as he sat across from the lost warden.

"It's complicated," Alistair said after a few moments.

"She didn't feel the same?"

"I'm not entirely sure," Alistair admitted. "My anger has been getting the best of me lately." He looked at his hands again and thought of her tear filled eyes as he gripped her throat. He swallowed, but felt a lump in his throat.

"I see," Alan said and paused. "We leave shortly to escort the Queen and the Wardens out of the city. Remember, we all have a regrettable past, Duncan. The best thing is to look to a better future. You may want to consider enlisting with the Wardens. They offer second ch-"

"The Wardens are no way out," Alistair said angrily before leaving.

...

"Allana, please let me care for your neck," Wynne insisted as she trailed behind the nimble warden.

"My neck is fine," Allana repeated. "I need to have new armor fitted before we leave. There is not time for much else."

"Allow me to accompany you," Wynne pushed, struggling to keep up with the elven woman.

Allana huffed. "I don't need a babysitter," she spat angrily.

"But you do need a friend," Wynne said softly.

Allana turned swiftly and stared at the elderly mage. "I need to complete my duty to Ferelden," she hissed. "My personal feelings no longer matter."

"We all know you miss him," Wynne said softly.

"Don't you start! You never approved of our relationship to begin with," Allana spat.

"The two of you completed eachother," the mage said as she placed a hand on the warden's shoulder. "You were happy. And in terrible times like this, that happiness is the most valuable thing in the world."

"Well, that happiness is gone," Allana said angrily, "We have a Blight to defeat." With that, she turned to enter the armory.

Wynne stood outside the armory for some time, watching the bustle of the city. She sighed as she thought of the two young wardens. Fate had been cruel to them. Alistair, an orphan, raised by the brother of the woman his father betrayed, shuffled off to the chantry at the jealousy of the Arl's young wife, recruited into an order that promised nothing but death. Allana, raised in a city that treated her race as filth, working for pennies, betrothed to a man she never met only to be kidnapped and abused on her wedding day, forced to kill said kidnappers to ensure the safety of her friends and family, losing her fiancee in the process, and either be conscripted into the Wardens to face an early death, or to face death from her actions.

Admittedly, at first Wynne was hesitant to allow the two to become so close. Even now, after the two had seperated, she knew that the love they shared found them the greatest happiness either of them had ever known. The elderly mage's heart ached for them. Allana, normally very level headed and duty-oriented, was frantic and spontanious. The past few days had shown the group an entirely different side of the young elf. She was restless and angry, snapping at most who approached her. Wynne had not seen her smile once since the Landsmeet and often found her sobbing in her room at the inn. When Wynne had tried to comfort the young woman, she screamed, "I don't need a babysitter!" and slammed the door in her face. This young woman was going to either lead the nation to victory or death. With her sudden loss of spirit, Wynne feared the worst.

Wynne continued to watch as the people passed. She took a deep breath and enjoyed the cool breeze - a cool breeze she could not have felt while in the tower.

The mage's thoughts were interrupted as she noticed an obviously irritated armored man heading toward the armory. She narrowed her eyes in recognition and fought back a smile. Fate was cruel, but could also be very kind.

"Excuse me, sir?" She called out warmly as he passed. The armored man froze and cautiously turned to her. Wynne laughed. "Even with the helm, I can tell it is you, Alistair." A few moments of tense silence passed before the mage spoke again, "May I have a word?"

Alistair sighed and took a step closer to the elderly woman. "So much for disguises, huh?" He said awkwardly.

"Allana is inside. If you wish to not be seen by her, I reccomend a different armory," Wynne said quietly. Alistair turned to leave, but Wynne grabbed his arm. "Alistair, she misses you a great deal."

"I don't care," he hissed.

"But I think you do, even if you won't admit it. Why else would you stay in Denirim? Why else would you seek her out?"

"Seek her out?" he huffed. "I only wanted answers! She betra-"

"She was trying to save you, Alistair," Wynne said calmly.

"Save me? She recruited a man that killed most of our Order, who tried to kill us. What would have happened if he tried again?" Alistair responded heatedly, his voice bouncing of the metal of his helm.

"I won't keep you much longer, Alistair, but know she is lost without you. Even if you do not approve of her decision, what she has done, she has done and there is no way to change the past. No matter how angry you get, no matter how much you physically hurt her, there is nothing you can do to undo her decision," Wynne said as she eyed the young warden. He fell silent.

"I don't know what came over me, Wynne," he admitted quietly. "I never thought I would be the kind of man that would do that. Especially not to her."

"What's done is done," Wynne repeated. "And I am not the one who you should be saying this to."

"I will not speak with her, if that is what you're implying," Alistair said bitterly.

"I'm not asking you to, Alistair. But I thought you should know that she is hurting from what she has done," Wynne said as the man turned to leave. "But also think of your duty, Warden. Just because you leave, it does not make you any less of a Grey Warden. The taint does not leave simply because you will it to."

Alistair nodded before quickly walking away from the old woman. He breathed deeply before heading back to the Pearl. New armor would have to wait for another day.

...

Allana left the armory, covered from shoulder to toe in dragonscale armor. She was content with the fit, though it was a little restricting for the elven rouge's tastes. She noted Wynne eying a tall soldier walking briskly down the brick road as she exited the armory. She narrowed her eyes. Him. She recognized the armor from earlier in the day.

Allana practically growled as she chased after him. Wynne began to protest, but only shook her head and slowly walked back to the inn. Allana caught up and slammed into him with all the force she could muster, pushing him toward a back alley. She quickly drew her dagger and raised it so the tip nestled between the gap of his chestplate and helm.

Alistair raised his hands in surrender. He took in the pure rage in the tiny woman's eyes. He said nothing as she raised her free hand to remove his helm.

"You are still a Grey Warden," she managed to choke out. "And if you no longer wish to travel with me, that is fine. But I will not allow you to abandon Ferelden."

"Then what do you propose I do?" Alistair spat back. He grabbed the wrist of the arm holding the dagger. She dropped it at the shock of his hand wrapping around her small wrist. He noticed the bruises on he neck, the bruises caused by him, and let go quickly.

The pair stood staring at eachother for several tense moments before Allana stepped closer to him. She rushed him, placing her hands on the sides of his face and pushing all of her weight against him so he stood against the stone wall. She placed her lips hungrily on his. He quickly pushed her off.

"You wanted me earlier!" She hissed. "Take it. Take everything. Use me, beat me, I don't care! So long as you're here. So long as I have you here." Tears were streaming down her face as she moved closer to him again.

He threw her against the wall and pinned her with his hips, gripping her little wrists with his large hands. He admired how fragile they looked in his hands. He leaned his head against her shoulder and and breathed in, inhaling her scent mixed with dragon leather. As he breathed out, she shivered.

"I miss you," she whispered, relishing the feeling of his hot breath on her neck, comforted by feeling his stubble scrape against her soft skin. Alistair shifted and released her wrists, wrapping his arms around her narrow waist as he kept his face buried in the crook of her neck. His body shook as he silently sobbed against her.

AN: Reviews? :3