Chapter 2

"Spencer come on you're going to be late" my mom screamed from downstairs. I stood there staring at my drawer trying to decide what to wear. Maybe, a cute shirt and some jeans or a black mini skirt and a spaghetti strap tank top. Oh, let's face it it's not even worth it no one cares what I wear. I grab a sports bra and throw a gray sweatshirt on over it. I slip on a pair of black yoga pants and walk downstairs.

My mom is standing there at the door waiting for me to grab my backpack and jump in the car. She is standing in the same position she always is with her hand on her hip and tapping her left foot in an annoyed manner. She gives me an ice cold glare because I'm running 5 minutes late.

I jump in the back seat because Glen grabbed shotgun before I was able to call it. I lean my head up against the window and stare at the trees as we pass them by. We live in a fairly large town in L.A so what you see trees without and or Starbucks stores you feel kind of calm. We moved out to L.A when I was 6 and Glen was 7. I am in my junior year of High School and Glen is a senior. He wants to go to college next year and get his degree in...well actually he doesn't know what he wants his degree in quite he will find out soon so that he doesn't end up sleeping on the couch.

Ever since we were little Glen ad I have been close, since we are so close in age. In 3rd grade when Jessica Stein was picking on me he stepped in and told her that if she didn't stop picking on me "he would make her fall off the monkey bars every day for the rest of her life.

We pull up to the school and I slowly get out of the car knowing that no matter what I'm not going to have a good day. I slip my headphones into my ear and listen to the only song that calms me down.

Live through this and you won't look back

I hear a thud next to me and I don't look up knowing that no matter what it won't be good. Even though I have headphones in, I can still hear everything they are saying (which I assume they don't know). I hear " Just touch her...no you do it...no you...what if I like catch something...I hear they have like diseases" I sigh and get up to walk away knowing this is not how I want to start my day.

I slide one leg over the bench and then the other but as I take my first step I feel it. There is a hand on my back pushing me down and a leg hitting me right about mid-calf. I wasn't prepared to fall so I hit the ground hard and heard my nose crack as I hit the ground face-first. All I see is spots and I try to blink the tears away. I shrieked in pain as I felt the tears rush into my eyes. I quickly rushed out of the quad in fear of the further harassment that would follow.

You see being beat up was nothing new to me it had become second nature, but this was the first time they had done it in a public place. Usually they would pull me into the bathroom or behind a wall, but never in front of a crowd. I wonder what had changed?

As I walked away and the only person that I made eye contact with was the one person who I expected to stick up for me. Glen. He stood there and watched me and for a second I thought I saw a bit of sadness in his eyes. It quickly flashed away when his friends turned to look at him and ask him about the game last night.

You see how ever much Glen loved me, it was never more than he loved his popularity. Ever since he had hit his growth spirt in 7th grade he has been captain of the basketball team. With being captain he was always getting the girls and going to all the cool parties while I stayed at home.

Ever since the summer I came out to Madison, I haven't really made many friends, haven't had a girlfriend, or even been happy. Luckily Glen trusts me enough to not believe the rumors in school, therefore my mom and dad don't know. Except for that one time my mom confronted me after hearing a rumor.

"Spencercouldyoucomehereforasecond" shescreamedupthestairs.Ilazilygotupoffmybedandgodownstairs.OnceIgetintothekitchenIseemymomsittingatthetablewiththatsamesmileshealwayshaswhileshe'stappingherfingers.ShehadamugofcoffeeinherhandthatsaidWORLDSGREATESTMOM.

"Come over here Spencer, we need to talk" I gulp remembering the last time she said that to me was when she was telling me we were uprooting our lives from Ohio.

"I heard a rumor Spencer that I want to confront you about." I gulp knowing what she was going to ask me about. "Are you gay?" I take a deep breath and quickly think about how I should answer that. I could tell her no and it would all be over. Or I could tell her yes and maybe she would help.

"No mom I'm not gay" she stands up and walks away but not before giving me an ice cold stare and some kind words.

" I hope not or I promise you I will make your life a living hell, and that's a promise" she turned on her heal and stomped away. I let out a sigh and drag myself back up to my room.

I kept running until I knew no one else would follow me and I slumped over on the wall. I cried for everything that had happened to me, for everything that I would have to deal with, for everything that I had become.

I felt my breath get caught in my throat when I heard the cackling coming down the hall. I knew who it was and just the sound of them made my blood boil. As they walked by each of them kicked me harder than the last. I willed myself not to cry but at the last of the cheerleaders walked by she slapped me in the face and my eyes began to water.

I straightened myself out and wiped the blood off of my face. I stood up and walked in the direction of my english class. This is what I had to live with, but I don't know how MUCH longer I wanted to live like this.