December 12, 2011

This is the longest chapter in a while. There are a lot of ties between this story and the first of my alternate timeline stories; So What Now. I hope that this chapter is everything you guys all have hoped for. There is some sweet Dessert between Rose and Dimitri that is not an old flashback from before he left. This one is a new event. I feel this story coming to a close soon; a few more chapters at most. I will also be finishing So What Now soon I hope. A chapter of the Love Wielders Journey will be on its way later this week. I hope you are all still with me.

Now on to the chapter.

The Sacrifice

Dimitri POV
Late January.

I served up a small bowl of tomato soup and a half of a grilled cheese sandwich on the tray and added a class of apple juice then walked up the stairs to her room. The sound of her heartbeat grew louder as I neared her. I set the tray on the bedside table and sat next to her on the bed.

Her skin had lost so much of its color and was now so similar to inside of the seashells that Connor gave me for Christmas. I miss her almond skin; I miss having her healthy and strong. Seeing her like this just kills me. (Figuratively peaking that is since I am already dead or undead I guess.) I really hope that my sacrifice is worthy of her life.

I reach out and stroke her hair and run my finger along her sallow cheek.

"Roza, my love, wake up. Its lunch time, you have to eat. Today is the big day, remember?"

Her eyes flutter open and I help her sit up then I place the tray on her lap. She is so weak that when I begin to feed her she barely protests. She never takes her eyes off me. They are filled with so many emotions; love, worry and fear. I know she isn't afraid of me but for me. I have no fear for myself but I share her worry. If this doesn't work our children will be orphaned.

We sit in silence as she eats. Her appetite has decreased so much. I can remember when she could have consumed a huge burger, fries, a salad, and several bottles of juice and still want more; now I could tell that she was forcing herself to finish the paltry amount I served her. When she is done I cleared the dishes and came back to lay with her as she naps. I listen to her body assessing her health. Her heartbeat is not as strong as I want it to be but it isn't as weak as it was before Oksana came for a visit this morning.

I pulled her closer and rest my nose against her neck. I can smell her blood so strongly even though Oksana healed the skin over my bites. This is part of the sacrifice that really bothers me. Emma insists that I feed from Rose because it is essential to the bond. Honestly if my Roza was in good health I might find the pleasure that Ben claims the blood bond brings; but seeing how weak she already is, I loath to make her weaker by taking her blood.

As I lay with her my mind wondered back to the day Emma told me her plan.

~*~Flashback~*~
Late November

"Dimitri do you recognize this book?" Emma held up Yeva's old book. I remember looking at the book when I was a boy but I never could read it. Yeva told me it was a very special book and it could only be read by a very special person. I was told that this book had been handed down for more generations then anyone remembers; given from mother to eldest daughter till was time to give it to the daughter of the son. She said it was magic and would tell this special reader only what she needed to know when she needed to know it. I was reminded of it when I took Tasha to see the play, Wicked, there was a spell book called the Grimmerie. The Grimmerie was only able to be read by the witch Elphaba.

"It looks like my grandmother's book." She nodded and passed it to me. I opened it up hoping that now that I have learned to speak and read so many languages I might now understand it. I was just as hopelessly lost as I was as a child. I looked up inquisitively.

"The day mom adopted me, I met Yeva. She came to the Ceremony and kissed me on both cheeks and called me her great-granddaughter. She told me that now that I was adopted by Rose that I was your daughter too. She said it was time to pass on a gift that should go to your oldest daughter. I remember arguing that Annie was your firstborn and that since you didn't even know about her or me that I was not worthy to receive a family heirloom." She shook her head at the memory. "She can get pretty feisty for such an old lady. In the end I gave in and she explained to me about the book. I have to say it is the most intriguing and precious gift I have ever been given."

I looked at the book again. For the first time I realized that it was made entirely of animal skins. The pages were sewn to the binder. The skin of the pages was soft and thin but looked to be very strong despite its supposed age. The writing was all hand written and done in painstakingly small neat print; in some foreign language I am not familiar with. Emma's voice pulled me out of my inspection.

"It's written in some form of ancient language similar to Gaelic or Celtic. I know this because the night I received the book I also got a visit from the writer in a dream. He told me his story and in doing so he explained how Bridgette became the Wielder of Life and Death, or Love Wielder as he liked to call her.

His name was Maolcholm and he was the husband of Bridgette Donnelley and together they had guarded their best friend, a spirit wielder by the name of Eoghan they grew up together and when they were still barely teenagers Brid (pronounced breed which is a nickname for Bridgette) was thrown from a horse and Eoghan healed her. They didn't realize she died and he brought her back. She became shadow kissed. Later when she was supposed to be given as a concubine to a Royal Moroi for the purpose of propagation; Eoghan intervened using the bond as an excuse to keep her from that fate.

Eoghan new that Bridgette loved Maolcholm and on the night of her 14th birthday he gave her his blessing to live as a wife to Maolcholm. Very shortly after they realized that Bridgette had fallen pregnant but the only man she had ever been with was Maolcholm. Eoghan promised them that he would keep their union a secret because even then marriage between Dhampir wasn't accepted. He publicly claimed each child as his own. Eoghan's young wife loved Brid and Maolcholm as siblings she too kept the secret and claimed that it had been Eoghan who fathered Brid's babies.

While Bridgette was pregnant with her first child she began to have dreams of another woman who called herself The Wielder of Life and Death. She explained to Brid that she was ready to step down and that it was Brid's calling to continue.

Strigoi would never be fully eliminated but the previous wielders had been successful in bringing the numbers down significantly. Bridgette Donnelly was the last one to be called; and she knew it would be many years till the wielders would be called back to service. Though dreams with some heavenly counsel she was told to have her mate write a book to help lead future wielders. He wrote of all there experiences, and of the dreams he himself had.

When the time came for Bridgette to step down and allow herself and her pack to age and die away; Maolcholm was instructed to give the book to the eldest daughter of their dear friend Eoghan, her name was Lindsay. She was to give the book to her eldest daughter and so on. Now this is where it gets a bit strange. The book would be passed down till her family line crossed itself with that of her twin brother, Logan, and then crossed with the bloodline of The Wielder herself. Your mother is a descendent of Lindsay and your father is the descendant of Logan; both are the children of Eoghan. Rose is the descendant of Bridgette Donnelly and Maolsholm. "

"But I am Russian and those people are from Ireland."

"Dimitri they were born like 600 years ago. People traveled even back then. Don't you think that it is possible that they might have migrated over time and even changed their last names in the process?"

"I guess a lot can happen in 600 yrs and perhaps it is possible that it could have happened."

"Your father was the son of a son of a son going back to Eoghan himself; which means that all your brothers are also potential match for the daughters of the daughters of Bridgette and Maolcholm."

"Rose is from this bloodline?" I asked

"Yes as am I. I am afraid that there are less of us left, but grandma Janine and grandpa Abe are working on that and from what I understand so is your father." I cringed at that thought. I have heard that Nathan Ivashkov had changed significantly since I beat the shit out of him but still the mere idea of him fathering more children disturbed me.

"Ben?" I just realized what she is implying. This time he answered my question.

"Yes, not only am I your son in law but I am also your younger half-brother like Adrian." I sat there looking at ben closely. Though I am sure he inherited most of his traits from his mother I can see some of the telltale Ivashkov traits; most notably the ears.

"Do we have many other siblings out there?" I couldn't help but wonder how many progeny Nathan Ivashkov has.

"Um yes", Ben said as he cleared his throat. "All together Dad has 14 children. The boys ages are 37 (Nathan jr), 32 (you) 28(Adrian), 25 (Xavier), 19(me) 5 (Taylor) 4 (Henry) 3 (Tristan) and 2 year old (Oscar) The girls are 35(Karolena) 34(Sonya) 23(Victoria) 7 (Nora) 4(Seraphina and Cynthia).

Nathan Jr. was from some Moroi girl he went to academy with. He didn't know about him until a few years ago. Xavier came as a surprise too; his mother was a Moroi he had a one night stand with. He didn't know who his father was till he found one of his mother's old journals. Of course you know Adrian is from his wife Daniella, Daniella divorced him shortly after you beat the tar out of him; but has since gotten back together with him and she is the mother of Tristan and Oscar. Your sisters and you are his largest family. Taylor and Nora share a mother and so do Henry and the twins Seraphina and Cynthia; both women are Dhampirs who have worked for him."

"And you, Ben who was your mother?"

My mom was a Dhampir that he befriended when she was fresh out of the academy. Martha Strathmore, was very innocent and naïve when they met. They met in England and she really didn't know much about him. When she fell pregnant with me he became very possessive of her. I guess he was afraid of losing another child. Mom had a feeling that he wasn't honest with her about who he really was so she went looking. She found out that he had a history of abuse and she decided that she was not going to let him hurt me or her so she ran. She left the whole Moroi world and hid among humans. Eventually he found us and begged for a chance to get to know me and after some consideration she agreed under her own terms. So from age 11 on I have known him but it wasn't until my mother died in a Strigoi attack while I was at boarding school that I really spent time with him. I was 15 when she died and he moved me to live at court with him and Daniella. Shortly after that I met Rose and Emma."

I had so many other questions for my son in law; but I realized we had gotten off track so I turned my attention back to Emma.

"Emma what does the history of the book or our lineage have to do with saving your mother and sister?"

"You need to understand how special this book is. You need to be able to trust it as I do."

"OK I am willing to try anything my only goal is to save them."

"Good, then first I am going to explain how I use the book and then how it has guided me. Every morning I open the book to the very first page. Sometimes there is a page number that seems darker than the others; if so I turn to that page and read what it says. I have tried to learn ancient Gaelic and Celtic but no matter how fluent I have become I can only read the part I am guided to and no more.

Sometimes, what I read is a prophecy written by Maolcholm after waking from a dream. These prophecies are rare but I have come across a couple. Unfortunately I don't usually understand them till after they have happened.

Most of the time, if I am let to a passage it pertains to a parallel timeline. You see for every decision we make there is multiple outcomes. As outlandish as it seems we exist on more than one timeline. There are some events that happen on more than one timeline. By reading about these events I am guided by them to choose an action or a path that will help me with a particular predicament I find myself or my family in.

If I have a dream that feels prophetic or if an event happens that I think should be documented it is my responsibility as holder of the book, to chronicle it for both the future and for the ME's in the other timelines. Now the kicker is that when I am writing in the book everything I write comes out in the same language and size of the original work only you could tell it is my penmanship."

Emma paused to let me absorb what she has told me so far. I agree that it sounds outlandish but at this point I don't give a shit; I just want to save my girls. Rose has shown me that nothing is truly impossible.

"I am listening, Emma, please continue."

"Dimitri, I think I should tell you the next part." Ben cut in.

"When I met Emma; Rose knew that we were meant for one another. She accepted our relationship but asked that we try to wait till we were older before we became intimate. For Emma's 16th birthday she put us out of our misery and gave us permission to marry. She even sent us on a honeymoon to Lissa' family home in California. Our honey moon was cut short when Emma began to show signs of pregnancy. While we were on our way back we were attacked by Strigoi and I was taken and awakened. Rose, Christian, Lissa and Adrian helped Emma find me. You would have thought that they were going to transform me like Rose does to Strigoi but Emma had found something in the book about you having been awakened and that Rose healed you but in a way that was different than the transformations."

"You were Strigoi, I was Strigoi?" I shivered.

"Yes Dimitri, but she saved you; and because the Emma in that timeline wrote it in her book I had the knowledge to save my Ben when it happened to him." Emma said as gazed lovingly at her husband. Ben kissed her temple before turning to me and adding to his story.

"Dimitri like I said it is different than the Transformed. They go back to their original state whether Human, Dhampir or Moroi; they revert to their origin. Their strength, reflexes, senses and physical attributes; it all reverts back. Being healed by a Love Wielder is different. We retain most of those things we gained as a Strigoi. I am almost as fast and strong as I was. My senses, reflexes are nearly as good too. I don't burn up in the sun but it wears me out a bit but not as much as a Moroi. I can go on to hallowed ground because the Demon has been extricated and banished to hell as they are with the Transformed. My DNA has been changed; I am now 2/3 Moroi and I have to take blood."

Emma put her hand on his cheek then turned to me.

"Mine is the only blood he can tolerate and I am happy to give it. The Blood bond has become part of our bond of the marriage of the heart. My children need blood too just like Annemarie does but they are able to take blood from a feeder. Because the children are ¾ Moroi they are able to wield magic like the Moroi and so is Ben.

"I am a spirit wielder now. I have tried to heal Rose but I am not a very strong wielder and I just don't know how to do it the way she needs me to." Ben told me. I could see disappointment in his face.

"Dimitri, a few days ago I was guided to a story in the book. I guess in the other timeline you also became a Spirit Wilder because what I read said that Tasha and her Husband came to you and asked you to heal her. She had scars that were like Mom's and Annemarie's. According to what I read you were able to use your medical knowledge and your spirit magic to do what you called Micro surgery. You cured her cancer."

My body had just as quick a response as my mind did; I began to tremble and took in a shaky breath.

"How; what do I have to do? I will do and give anything to save her even if it means that I have to give up my soul and become something vile."

Emma leaped into my lap and hugged me. It is strange how natural it felt holding her as she cried into my shoulder. It was as if my heart already knew her as my daughter for years.

"I knew you were brave enough. I knew you would love her enough. Daddy I won't lie to you; this is going to be dangerous. I can make sure you have control over the demon but since you are choosing this of your own will I can't guaranty that this will work the way it did in the other timeline. Also in the other timeline you lived as a Strigoi for almost a whole year before mom figured out how to heal you; Ben was only Strigoi a week before I found him. I don't know if the fact that he wasn't Strigoi for long is the reason he isn't a strong Spirit Wielder. We have to try to put off changing you as long as we can and I think mom has to be the one to do it; there is the risk that she won't be strong enough."

"Emma I will do anything for my family. I need to talk to a few people first but I want to do this as soon as possible."

"Dad, I think you are just as great at the other Emma's have described you to be." Emma hugged me. "I love you Dad."

I spent a few hours in the church with Father Andrew after I left The Transformed Compound. I confessed all the sins that I could remember committing and told him what I planned to do to save my wife and daughter. After giving me absolution for my sins he gave me Last Rites and communion.

After leaving the church, I called Emma and Ben, and asked them go with me to talk with Maria and Sasha. We had to explain to them about Emma's idea. Thankfully they were familiar with Ben's circumstance and this gave them a base of understanding.

"The next time I hunt, I will ask for a volunteer from the Strigoi and see if one of them will help us. Once we get a volunteer we will have them awaken Dimitri and I will be right there with the Stalling stake so that he doesn't go feral on us."

"Wait…." I interrupted. "What is this stalling stake?"

"The day you were born Yeva had a dream about a special stake that could inject charmed silver bolls onto a Strigoi. She went to a silver smith and had him make one for her along with the silver pellets for it. After Mom had Annemarie Yeva found her and told her that she knew Rose was the wielder of Life and death and that she was supposed to give her this stake. Mom didn't know what to do with it till after I was given the book. It was the first entry I read. She was to have each member of her pack and herself charm the stake and the pellets with healing energy from their elements. By staking a Strigoi anywhere in the fleshy part of the body (arms and legs are best but anywhere that would not be fatal to a non-strigoi) will give the soul control over the body and give us time to get the Strigoi to a wielder."

"I think I remember Roza mentioning this to me when I drove her home from Missoula. She didn't elaborate and frankly I was not too focused on that part of the conversation. I wonder how many secrets my grandmother has kept from me."

"I am sure that now that you are ready for the truth, she won't hold her tongue if she has anything to tell you, Dad. She's sometimes cryptic but she always puts it out there." I had to agree with Emma's assessment of Yeva.

We were all quiet while we contemplated the steps we would have to take for me to turn Strigoi. A thought occurred to me.

"Emma who will I be taking blood from while I am Strigoi?"

"Well from mom; you should form the bloodbond with her as soon as possible."

"But she already gives blood to Annemarie; I don't think she should even be doing that."

"Well we could call Grandma Janine and ask her to come and take care of Annemarie till Rose is better."

"I have an Idea that might work. Since it may take a while to find a Strigoi volunteer and even when we do he will have to drain me anyway why don't we try my blood? If it works then I can take over till it's time to awaken me. When you find a volunteer we can collect most of my blood in donor bags for Annemarie; leaving just enough for the Strigoi to do what he needs to."

"That is a good idea Dimitri, Annemarie hasn't fed yet and we could try it today if you are game."

"I need to tell her that I am her father first. After we tell her we will ask her how she feels about feeding from me. If she is bothered by it we can extract it for her."

We discussed some more how we would handle my awakening and what I could expect. We talked about contingency plans in case this didn't work. It scares me that this could all backfire on us. I can only pray that it will work and I can save them. I understand that there is a real chance that Rose might not be able to heal me and make me 2/3 Moroi. There is even a chance that I wouldn't be able to be transformed back into a Dhampir. Even if healing me works there is no guaranty that I will be a strong Spirit Wielder like I am in the other timeline. No matter the risk it is worth it to me to try.

..~*~..

With the meeting finished Emma, Ben and I went to visit Rose and Ladybug. Ladybug was asleep so I decided I would ask Rose to go for a walk with me. It was frightening how tired she looked but she smiled at me when we walked in. Emma went to her and hugged her. Despite only having five years difference in age I could see and feel the mother daughter relationship between them. Rose tenderly rubbed Emma's belly and asked how her grandbaby was. Rose greeted Ben warmly and it was easy to see the affection they had for one another. Rose met my gaze and I felt as if she could read my silent question. When we were together there were times when we only needed to look into each other's eyes and we would know what the other was thinking. I really missed the connection.

"Emma, Ben, could you sit with Annemarie, I would like to take a walk with Dimitri. I think we have a lot to discuss."

They agreed and I went off to get a wheel chair and some blankets to keep her warm with. She allowed me to help her to the chair and tuck the covers around her. On our way out she asked to swing by Maria's office.

"Maria, I need to get out of here for a while so I am going home for a few hours but we will be back in time to give Annemarie a feeding before bed." Dr. Olendzki nodded but said nothing. She knew that we would have a lot to talk about and it would be best if Rose was somewhere she felt comfortable talking.

I already know she isn't going to like Emma's plan. Emma talked to her about it when she first read the pages and Rose had been very vocal about her feelings. She felt that it was too big of a risk and she tried to forbid her from mentioning it to me. Lucky for me this is one of the few times Emma has chosen to disregard her mother's wishes.

It will be easier if she goes along with the plan but I have decided that I will go through with it even if she asks me not to. I know she wouldn't leave me in a Strigoi state and even if she did then Emma said she would try to heal me before reverting to preforming a Transformation in the attempt to save me; though she honestly believes that Rose is supposed to do it since she is my wife of my heart.

I carefully pushed Rose's chair towards her home. We didn't talk but our silence wasn't uncomfortable. When we reached her Cottage she told me to go around to the back. I noticed that the wood on this side looked older as if it was part of the cabin that originally stood here. There was a door there.

"Do you still have the key to our Cabin?" She asked softly. I wonder if she was afraid that I kept it or afraid I didn't.

"Yes I couldn't bear to part with it."

"The lock is the same, open it." She whispered. With trembling hands I took my keys and found the one that I had engraved a heart on. The lock was a bit stuck at first but with a little jiggle it unlocked and I opened the door. What I saw astounded me. This was our cabin; she had the rest of the cottage built around it. The twin bed was gone and in its place was a king but I recognized the old parts of the head and foot boards were used to construct the new headboard. I recognized the R and D that I had carved the morning after she gave me her virginity. I had a sense of coming home after a very long time.

I turned to Roza and saw the hesitation in her face. When she saw my smile she visibly relaxed and smiled shyly back. I lifted her bridal style and carried her over the threshold. Gently I laid her on her bed before retrieving her chair and closing the door. Rose propped herself up and arranged the covers around her. I took a moment to start a fire in the fireplace. She asked me to get her a glass of water and pointed to one of the three other doors in the room. It only took me a moment to find my way to the kitchen.

Helen and Tanya were in the kitchen working on some soup. Tanya was surprised to see me but Helen almost seemed to have expected me.

"The soup is done would you like to take some to Miss Rose?" She asked as she took down two bowls before I could even reply. She filled the bowls with large servings of creamy chicken noodle. As she did this Tonya took out two tumblers and filled them with a dark liquid. She placed two glasses of water and the glasses of dark liquid on to a tray. Helen placed the two bowls on the tray along with a plate of buttered black bread.

"Thank you I am sure she will like this, so will I." I took the tray back to her room. She was still seated in the middle of her bed and on her lap was a photo album. She set it aside when she saw the tray in my hands. We sat quietly sharing the meal together. It felt so good to feel her warmth beside me. When we finished eating I took the tray to the kitchen and set it on the counter.

When I returned Rose was looking at the photo album again but this time she waited for me. It was an album of our relationship when she was at school. Even in the early pictures that had been taken to document her training; before we admitted our feelings, you can see the love we had for each other. How we managed to keep our secret from the general populous is beyond me. The last picture was a slightly grainy one that she had taken of us using her phone. I recognized it as a picture of our last campout. The caption under the picture took my breath away. "Our First Family Photo!" I had suspected that was the weekend of conception but this only confirmed it.

"Rose I am so sorry. I …" She put her hand up and covered my lips.

"I understand; I have always understood. I admit it hurt me so much but I knew you were not ready and when I learned about my fate to be the Wielder; I knew there was no way you were ready for all the supernatural. I knew you would have to come to this on your own. I lost hope though when you had Conner. It was Lissa and Adrian who convinced Tatiana to have you reassigned."

"I will never leave your side again."

"Dimitri, you can't go along with Emma's crazy plan. I need you to stay Dhampir and work on this the way you do best. Annemarie has time. I know you will figure it out and save our little girl. She needs you right now. If you go with the plan she could end up losing both of us. I am ready to go home to God. My body is shot and quite frankly I am so tired. Please let me go and concentrate on our girl. Take care of my children and show them that they are loved."

I didn't know that the tears were flowing down my face till she wiped them away. "Don't cry Dimitri, I have lived a full life. I will always love you and be with you. But in this life I am too broken; I could only be a burden to you."

"Roza you could never be a burden to me. I can't conceive living without you. The burden would be living every day without the other half of my heart. The past 7 years I felt like half a man. With you I am complete. Now that I know what was missing I can't go back to my half-life. I know in my bones that if I don't take this chance I will regret it."

"There is no changing your mind?" She looked deeply into my eyes.

"No, Roza there is no changing my mind. You are my wife and I will Do anything, Risk anything and Give anything to have you by my side for the rest of my life."

"Ok then, I have one condition. I know that I will just continue to get sicker from here on out and there is a very good chance this won't work so I ask that you make love to me one last time."

Part of me wanted to protest, she is so sick and week already but one look into her eyes and I could deny her nothing. In her eyes I didn't see any blame or resentment; just love and longing. She wanted to reconnect with her husband as much as I wanted to be united with my wife, body and soul.

..~*~.. Sweet light chocolate Mousse..~*~..

I turned to face her fully and traced my fingers over the scars on her face and neck.

"Roza, I can't tell you how magnificently beautiful you are. I thought you were beautiful at 18 but now I realize that I didn't know what true beauty was." I leaned down to press my lips to hers. So soft and warm; they held sweetness from the blueberry Ice tea we drank. Her hands wrapped around my neck and brought me closer to her. Our kiss deepened but remained slow and gentle.

She was the first to tug at my shirt. I pulled away to give her the chance to pull it off. I took my pants and boxers off for her then helped her out of her hospital gown. Her scars may have marred her skin but they couldn't hide her beauty from me. I ghosted kisses along every scar from head to toe.

I am sure she wanted to explore my body too but she settled for soft touches while allowing me to worship her body. I held my tears when I encountered the scars on her stomach and those nearest her sex. Such a strange paradox; I see the scars as part of her beauty and strength but at the same time I hate them for the loss and trauma they are also the evidence of.

"Come join me up here husband I want to kiss you and become one with you." Rose gently tugged on my hair. I made my way back up her body kissing her navel and each nipple on my way. She cradled my hips between her legs. I was already poised against her entrance and I could feel the heat and wetness against me. We kissed till we had to part for air. I nuzzled my lips against her neck reveled in the silkiness of her skin.

I entered her as slowly and gently as I could. It has been a really long time since we have been together and I know that even without the scar tissue inside she would have needed time to adjust to my size. She groaned but locked her legs around me so that I wouldn't withdraw from her. I took my time; treating her body with care for the delicate vessel it is.

I could feel the marital connection between us strengthen beyond what it had been years ago. It was like a physical presence wrapping us in ribbons of love and joy. We were both in tears when we fell over the edge of ecstasy together.

..~*~..Dessert is finished..~*~..

I rolled us over so that she was on top of me so that she could relax without having to pull myself out of her just yet. She rested her head over my heart as I ran my fingers through her hair. We lay together in our post coital bliss for some time. I know that we will have to talk about all the things that happened in my absence. Rose may forgive me but I don't know if I could ever forgive myself. Furthermore I wonder if my ladybug will be able to forgive me. I know that the full extent of the damage my absence has caused has probably been kept from her. And I could only imagine that even if she accepts and forgives me now there will be times in the future when she learns more about the situation she will resent me.

"I think we should bring my photo album with us to talk to our daughter. Perhaps it will help her understand our history if she can see the pictures of us as a couple. I have never let her see it before because I couldn't let her know who her father was till you knew about her. I didn't want her to ever tell anyone. There were already enough people who figured it out and I worried for your safety."

"Are Tasha and Conner safe?"

"Yes my father has a team of Guardians watching out for them. You were always under our protection whether or not you knew it. One the Guardians actually has a very intense need to protect her. Jonathan Conta is one of ours. He fell in love with Tasha and as you could imagine he will let nothing hurt her or her son."

"Wow I never knew you were protecting us."

"Yes, In fact I once protected you myself. There was a plan to attack your town in Maine and my pack came in and transformed the Strigoi before anyone got hurt. I remember seeing the three of you and you looked so happy." Her fingers didn't stop tracing patterns on my chest but I took in a sharp breath and held her closer. I could only imagine the pain she must have felt at the sight of me playing happy family with Tasha.

"Oh Rose….. I cannot believe you could be so loving and forgiving after everything I have put you through."

"I know what was in your heart when you left. I felt your pain when we said goodbye at the tarmac. I know what you have felt coming home. I know the depth of your love and your regret. If this works and we both come out of it healthy and alive then we will have a whole lot of years together. Part of the gift of living and working with a Love Wielder is that as long as we are preforming our duty everyone in our households and our packs are graced with health and youth. I plan on dedicating many years to helping those trapped as Strigoi. In turn we will be given many years to make up for our past."

She pulled away from me and sat on her bed. "Let's get going back to our girl."

~*~ End Flashback~*~
Back to Late January

So much has happened in the last two months. Annemarie and I have much more difficult relationship than we did before. She has bouts of temper were she seems to want to punish me for not being in her life when she was young. Then there are times when she is happy to have me as her father.

A week after telling me about her plan Emma found a volunteer Strigoi and I was awakened. I can feel the demon fighting me for control but I am stronger than he is; Rose's blood seems to give me even more strength than the silver pellets do.

Rose, Annemarie, Josh and I have moved into a small cottage on the Transformed Compound as soon as I was awakened. Emma is well enough to go to school but she is only in Moroi classes right now; no training. Drinking my blood has improved her health greatly but still I can't wait till I can heal her and Rose of the cancer.

At Christmas My family came to visit as did Rose's. Tasha came with Conner and Jonathan. Annemarie got to meet her Russian cousins for the first time and she accepted Conner as a brother. I found out that Abe Mazur is my father in law. I am amazed that he had me protected all these years. If I were him I would have put a hit on the man who left my daughter pregnant.

I sigh as I look at the angel sleeping in my arms. She will need her rest for what is going to happen tonight. Tonight we are going to try to heal me of the Strigoi. I have spent every sleepless night of the last two months reading everything I can get my hands on regarding cancer and microsurgery. The change the Strigoi has made to my brain has enhanced my memory and recall. Once I am healed I will have to hope and pray that I form the ability to wield Spirit and that I can wield it well enough to heal my family. Emma thinks it will be another two months before I will be able to try to heal Rose. I just hope she can last that long.

"Dear Lord, please give her the strength to hold on. I also ask you lord to grant me the power to wield Spirit and heal not only my wife and daughter but to help others out there that are suffering of the Strigoi blood cancer."

I held Rose close to me and closed my red-ringed eyes. Strigoi don't sleep but I can still enjoy having my wife sleep in my arms. For now I have her safely in my arms. For now this is what I will live for.

Comments and POP QUIZ

Well Rose and Dimitri are back together and working on being a family. I hope you are not disappointed that Rose has fully forgiven Dimitri but she realizes that holding resentment will be pointless and counterproductive.

What do you think of Rose's request to make love one last time while she still has the strength and Dimitri is still Dhampir?

How long do you think it will take for Annemarie to forgive her father?

Do you think that the plan will work and do you think Rose will live long enough for Dimitri to learn how to use spirit if he even forms the ability to wield Spirit?

Hmm, not a lot of questions for such a long Chapter; oh well it is 1:39 and I work tomorrow with kids that are going to be stuck inside due to rain. Please give me some feedback even though I know I don't really deserve it for making you all wait so long.

Suzanna AKA SNOWGOOSE