A/N: Thanks again for reviewing! I idolize you. Really. :)
"Ooh, you brought a snack. Smells good," James said, creepily staring at me. Damn my delicious smelling blood!
"Only I get to suck her blood! Wait a second, that didn't come out right…" Edwardo cried. Laurent stepped forward to give us advice in a hushed tone.
"He's a master of the hunt," he quickly explained, "although there was that one time when he tried to hunt a baby-sitter, but it turned out she was actually a vampire."
Suddenly, Alice got a weird look on her face and started shaking.
"Is she having a seizure?! I didn't know vampires had seizures… maybe I don't want to be a vampire after all," I gasped. Carlisle shook his perfect head.
"That's just her vision face, vampires can't have seizures. Alice, what do you see?" Well, never mind, turns out vampires really are flawless.
"He's playing a video of Bella's mom in a Halloween store… weird," Alice told us.
"Thank god it wasn't a ballet studio full of sharp mirrors!" Edwardo heaved a sigh of relief.
I noticed Vicky wasn't helping us at all, probably because she had no soul.
Edwardo forced me in the car and we sped away. I would've protested, but hey, this wasn't so bad. The Sullens were the only people whose names I could properly remember, and now I wouldn't have to pause in front of a person and try to think, a strenuous task for me.
"Wait," Emmett said, "what about Charles? He's not an imbecile… well, fine, but he's not a bad parent… oh, wait…" Oh, right, Charles!
"Yeah, I guess we can't leave him," I said grudgingly. Alice sighed.
"Yes, we can. He has a creepy crush on me! He told me to come over and watch a game with him any time!" Alice exclaimed.
"Look," Edwardo interrupted, "hunting is his obsession, and for some strange reason he wants Bella, probably because she smells like freesias. He begins the hunt… tonight. I saw him eating some lumberjacks over in the woods, and weirdly a Monster energy drink, so it's only a matter of time."
"How come he hasn't caught up with us yet? I mean, we're basically sitting and talking, and I thought vampires had super speed," I pointed out.
"Bella, I thought you knew by now, the Sullens are the best at everything. Plus, James' weakness is his speed," Edwardo explained in a "duh" voice. Well, that was convenient.
"Let's hear my plan!" I said suddenly.
"NEVER!" Edwardo said dramatically, "just let the man do all the thinking, don't even try." I ignored him, even though it took all my strength to do it.
"Listen, I tell my dad I'm going to La Shove for a while, he loves it when I go there. Then we can go anywhere and he won't care!" I explained.
"Wow, you actually thought of a good plan for once! Good job, Bella!" Edwardo praised me, patting me on the back slowly.
He pressed his foot to the pedal too hard, and it broke off. The car was stuck at maximum speed. Fine, I'll admit, I might've screamed as we accelerated.
There were no cops around, as Charles was the chief and he was too busy watching football and fishing.
"Bella will go with me. Don't make me go without her. I'm codependent on her already! I can feel my life force… drifting away…." Edwardo said, nearly fainting.
"I can't be away from you for more than 2 seconds, either, but- well, he'll guess that I'm going to be with you," I said logically.
"But what if he thinks it's a ruse and realized you'll be with Alice?" Edwardo asked.
"But what if he thinks that the ruse is really just a ruse so he goes after you?" I argued.
"But what if he thinks the ruse is really just a ruse of the original ruse, and realizes that it's all just a ruse and goes after Alice?" Edwardo protested. OK, now my brain hurt.
When we got to my house, I caught up with Charles.
"Hey, Ch- Dad, I'm going to La Shove for a while, maybe forever," I told him. Charles shrugged.
"Forever would be preferred," he said happily, "and make sure to hang out with all the werewolves! If one imprints on you, I'll be so proud!" Imprinting? So one of them would know that I was their mother?
After I packed, Edwardo shoved me in the car and we drove off again.
"Hey, what if the tracker attacks you?" I said suddenly. That would be horrible! I could imagine living without Charles, who I'd known my whole life, but Edwardo being gone?!
"I'm fine, Bella, don't try to be selfless and conflicted. That's my job," he dismissed my question.
"I'm totally more selfless than you! I- I- left Phoenix for my mom! Well, ok, she probably would've been happier if I stayed, but that's beside the point!"
"Please, I couldn't harm humans, so now I eat defenseless cute little animals. Plus I can't decide whether I should eat you or not, it's all so confusing!" Edwardo complained. I had to admit, he had me beat.
"Fine," I grumbled.
"We'll have to kill James, and possibly Victoria. It seems like she's not going to be at all easy to kill in an anticlimactic battle!" Edwardo explained.
We stopped at the Sullens' house. The huge coffin looked menacing now, if that was even possible.
"Are you sure James will kill Bella if he gets the chance?" Rosalie asked.
"Basically."
"Sounds go- I mean, horrible! Bella, you should go fight James on your own. That should be fun! I bet the tape recording of your mother is actually your mother held captive!" Rosalie sympathized with me. I felt like I'd finally connected with her!
"You're wrong, you know," Jasper said suddenly, his face looking pained, as always.
"What?" I gasped.
"I can tell what you're feeling now- and you're not worth it."