A/N: This is inspired by an episode of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide. Thanks to all those who have reviewed, favorited, or followed this story! You make me so happy! :D Enjoy!

Bruce and Tony were working in the lab when Bruce's phone started ringing. It was Steve.

"Why on Earth would Steve be calling?"

"I don't know, just answer your phone, and your ringtone is atrocious by the way."

"Tony, there is nothing wrong with Adam Ant." Bruce answered his phone. "Hello. - Steve, you're going to have to speak up louder I can barely hear you. - What do you mean you can't talk any louder? - You're where!? How did that happen? Never mind. Just stay there. I promise you, Steve, we will get you out of there."

Tony was quite intrigued by the conversation, well, the half that he heard.

"So what wa-"

"There's no time Tony. Call the Avengers together in the living room. I'll explain everything when they all arrive."

~5 minutes later~

"Everyone, this is very important. We must rescue Steve."

The rest of the Avengers looked at Bruce in confusion.

"So let me get this straight," said Clint. "We are needed to go rescue the super soldier? He hasn't even been sent on a mission! What could he possibly need rescuing from?"

"Clint, he is stuck in one of the worst scenarios imaginable to man. He is stuck, in a women's restroom."

Clint and Tony lost it. The two began to laugh like hyenas. Clint was on the floor rolling back and forth and pounding the ground in laughter. Tony began snorting and was slapping his knees.

Thor looked confused, big surprise there; Natasha was indifferent yet bemused; Bruce...well, he wasn't looking amused at all.

"This is NOT funny."

Tony simply looked at Bruce. "Yes it is. Imagine Rogers, the poster child for 21st century awkwardness, being stuck in a women's restroom. The man can't even go to a beach because he finds bikinis too revealing. And, last time I checked, being stuck in a women's bathroom isn't exactly a bad thing." Tony flashed a suggestive smirk.

"Tony, you asshole! It is not a fun experience accidentally walking into a women's bathroom, let alone having to walk out of one!"

"Personal experience?"

"Shut up Clint! Tony, before you go digging to try and find out what happened, I was five, and I accidentally walked into the girls' restroom. I was teased for months, and I'll be damned if I let this happen to someone else."

"Would someone please explain why this is so bad? Some Midgardian customs still confuse me."

Tony pulled up a calendar on his phone. "Okay, today's Thor duty facilitator is...Natasha! Continue!"

Natasha sighed."Thor, do you remember what happened when you couldn't decide to walk in the restroom for people with or without capes, and you chose the restroom for people with capes?"

"Yes. From how you Midgardians called it, I was pepper sprayed, tazed, and kicked in the nuts." Tony involuntarily shuddered. "It was most unpleasant."

"Well, Thor. Steve has gone into the restroom for people with capes, and fortunately hasn't been seen yet. If we don't go get him, he might receive the same treatment."

"MAN OF IRON. PUT ON THY SUIT! WE MUST SAVE THE CAPTAIN!" Mjolnir was instantly in his hand.

"Now, calm down Thor," said a very wary Clint. "We have to figure out where Steve is first."

"You are correct Eye of the Hawk. My apologies. Please proceed."

"Bruce, give me your cell phone." Tony stretched out his hand expecting compliance.

"Why?"

"So I can trace back the call and find where Steve is." Bruce handed over his phone.

Tony began fiddling with Bruce's phone. "Okay. Got it. Steve is in the third floor women's restroom at, here comes a big shocker, the history museum."

"Why is that shocking, Man of Iron?"

Tony took the opportunity to hold up a sign. It said: SARCASM.

Bruce sighed. "Now we know where he is, but how exactly are we going to get him out?"

Natasha volunteered Clint as tactical advisor.

"Why him?" Tony was pouting.

"Because Steve is usually our strategist, but he's not here. Therefore it goes to Clint, who has the most strategizing experience. And because your plans usually involve a lot of unnecessary explosions...and AC/DC."

"Hey, don't you start messing with AC/DC."

"Guys! Can we focus on the task at hand?" Bruce was not happy. "Clint, get working on a rescue plan."

"Man, I can't do anything until I get my hands on some schematics."

"I got you, birdbrain." Tony pulled up a holographic blueprint.

"Thanks tin can." Clint instantly began studying the blueprint for access points. "Alright. The good news is, I can get to Steve through the air vents. The bad news, is that Steve cannot go through air vents. We'll have to get him out the way he came in."

At this point a phone started playing the Mission Impossible theme. Clint answered his phone. "This is Barton - Hang on, I'm going to put you on speaker phone. - No, it's not going to make your phone louder, it just means that the rest of the people with me who are currently trying to figure a way out of the bathroom for you can hear you." Clint put Steve on speaker phone.

"Guys you gotta get me out of here. There were people that just left a second ago. They came in here and did...stuff. Please hurry." Steve ended the call.

"I can't believe people did that in a history museum bathroom. Even I wouldn't do that there, and that's saying something coming from me. And Barton, the Mission Impossible Theme. Really?"

"Stark, I'm a spy. Spies deserve awesome ringtones. You don't get more awesome than that. Now, back to how to get Steve out. The only people that can pull this off are Bruce, Nat, and myself. You and Thor are just too high profile. No! Wait! That's brilliant! Okay, I know how we're going to pull this off!"

Clint began to explain the plan. "Okay, so firstly, Nat, Bruce and I enter the museum separate and at different times. Natasha will be first so she can get to the security room and she can loop video footage as needed. The last thing we need is a video of us rescuing the super soldier from a women's restroom winding up on youtube. I will enter second and work my way into the air vent system. Lastly will be Bruce. Natasha will tell us when and where to go. After we begin to get in positions, Tony and Thor will arrive in style. I don't care if you suit up or if you come in one of your cars, but you have to make sure you arrive in a manner that will draw all attention to you. While everyone is distracted with you, I'll make sure the women's restroom has no other women in it and tell Steve the plan. Bruce will come in dressed as a janitor going to clean the restroom. We'll fit Steve into a black trash bag and Bruce will wheel him to the employees only section where the two of them can exit at the first available opportunity. Thor and Tony will leave, and Nat and I will leave separately. Does anyone have any questions?"

Thor raised his hand. Everyone looked at Natasha. "Fine! Thor, I'll explain everything to you while the others get ready."

~1 hour later~

Clint, Natasha, and Bruce were all dressed casually and ready to go. They had decided to allot fifteen minutes between entrances. Natasha was up first. She entered the museum, and began to look for the path to the security room. She found it in less than a minute, but someone stopped her. So, she decided to speak only in Russian. This gave her the opportunity to confuse the unlucky guard and serve up some cognitive recalibration. Natasha took his ID card and made her way to the security room. She opened the door with the ID card. Lucky her, the person who was supposed to be in there was unconscious in the hallway. She relayed the signal that she was in place.

"Proceed with phase two of Operation Saving Captain Rogers. Why did we even let Tony name the operation?"

"Because if we didn't, he said that he would tell the press that Steve was in the women's bathroom and was too scared to walk out by himself. So Nat, any better vent access points than my original plan?"

"Doesn't look like it Clint. Go ahead with your planned vent of entry."

Clint made his way to the third floor and found his vent. It took him a second, but he managed the climb and made it into the vent.

"All clear Nat. I'm working my way to Steve now. You ready Bruce?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

Bruce entered the museum. Natasha gave him directions to the employee locker room.

"Okay, they keep extra uniforms in that closet over there. Look for one that says janitor."

"I found one! It's a good thing this fits me."

"Now you need to go get a cleaning cart. The janitorial supplies are through the double doors on your right. Once you get the cart ready wait by the elevator shaft in the room until I tell you."

"Clint, I'm about to cue Tony, are you ready?"

"Let's rock."

"Tony, proceed with phase four of Operation Saving Captain Rogers."

Natasha could hear the sound of AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" blaring from the security footage. For once, Stark's knack for making an entrance came in handy. Everyone was distracted by the billionaire and the Thunder God who were now exiting Tony's sports car.

"Clint, proceed with phase five, Bruce, head up."

Clint looked around to make sure that there were no women in the restroom. There weren't. That is, unless you count Steve Rogers sitting on a toilet and holding his legs to his knees so that no one would know someone was there. They need to get Steve out more, but the time for planning that would come later.

"Steve! Psst! Steve! It's Clint, I'm in the air vent above you."

Steve looked around and located Clint. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you. I'm positively gay."

"Steve, I'm going to tell you now, and you're just going to have to trust me, gay doesn't mean joyful or excited anymore. Don't say it again until Natasha, Bruce, or I explain what it means in modern English to you."

"Okay. How am I getting out of here? You know I can't do air vents."

"Any time soon, Bruce is going to come in dressed as a janitor with a huge cleaning cart. You are going to get in the cart and we are going to tie the black trash bag with you in it. Then Bruce will wheel you out and you can exit through the employee exit."

"Alright, but what exactly are you going to be doing?"

"I make the plan! Don't question my methods!"

Bruce entered the bathroom.

"Lock the door Bruce, no one gets in until we're ready to leave. Steve, you can exit the stall now."

Steve unlocked the stall door and noticed a laughing Bruce.

"What's so funny, Bruce?"

"The fact that you made an out of order sign so that no one would try to use the stall you were in!"

Then Steve heard stifled laughter from the air vents.

"Thanks for coming to get me, but can we please just get out of here?"

"Get into my car." Bruce motioned to the janitorial cart.

Steve climbed into the cart and Bruce tied the bag.

"See you on the outside Clint."

"Likewise. Natasha, let me know when they have exited the building."

After waiting five minutes, Natasha informed Clint that Steve and Bruce had successfully exited the building.

"Let's wrap this up then. As soon as I exit the air vent, tell Tony that he and Thor can leave. I'm going to leave out the back exit, and as soon as I'm gone, start fixing any video footage that needs fixing. See you out back."

"Tony, you can leave now."

"Good, if I had to explain the concept of autographs to Thor one more time, I think I was going to run him over. By the way, you owe me for covering your Thor duty."

"Do I need to tell Pepper that you put a tracking chip in her blackberry?"

"Nope, you're fine. I'd be happy to cover Thor duty for you any time."

"That's what I thought."

Natasha finished fixing the security footage and went to meet Clint outside. They rode back to the Avengers' Tower on Clint's motorcycle. As soon as they arrived they noticed that it was extremely quiet. Too quiet. Prepared for any attack, they made their way into the living room. Nothing could prepare them for what they saw next. Steve Rogers was looking very guilty while standing over one groaning Tony. Tony was clutching his nose. Bruce and Thor were standing and looking in shock. Then Steve noticed Clint and Natasha standing in the doorway.

"What? He called me a girl!"

At this point, Clint drew the conclusion that being stuck in a women's bathroom all day, if you are not a woman, is a traumatizing experience.