A/N: Thanks so much to all the people who have read, favorited, and/or reviewed this story so far; you guys are always so amazing. This chapter is dedicated to the awesome reviewer, Bookdancer, so I hope you enjoy it! Secondly, I have an announcement to make, and this is extremely important!
I am starting a Reference Scavenger hunt. I will give you a list of references to look for in all of my stories (Just Doing My Part to Keep Everyone On Their Toes references will be including this chapter), the first person to review stating what the references are will get receive the ability to ask me to write anything the desire (or have a chapter dedicated to them, whichever they prefer). Note: there will be two winners: one from deviantart (where I also publish my stories), and one from Fanfiction. Oh, I almost forgot! You lot need to know what you're looking for don't you?!
In Steve Did What?, there is one Doctor Who reference (It's hard, but I'm sure you guys can find it).
In Silly Cupid, there is a Sherlock Holmes reference (to the new movies with RDJ).
In Just Doing My Part To Keep Everyone On Their Toes, there are 10 references: 1 POTC, 1 Emperor's New Groove, 1 Big Bang Theory (It's used in a few different chapters.), 1 LOTR (This one's another toughie), 1 Julius Caesar (the actual historical figure), 1 Julius Caesar (the Shakespeare play), 2 Star Wars quotes (they count as one reference), 1 Sherlock Holmes, 1 Saving Private Ryan, and 1 Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Good luck and happy hunting! Oh, and if you want me to check what you come up with, I will totally do that for you guys. :D Sorry for the long note!
"Alright Avengers. You have created something that quite frankly disturbs me. I don't like being disturbed. And do you know what I do with things that disturb me?"
"Steal it's soul and harness its darkness into your horrible wardrobe choices?"
"Stark, do you see me laughing? That's right, no you don't. But back to my point. I destroy things that disturb me. So, unless you all can explain it to me, I will destroy it. Now, what the hell is Thor duty and how the hell did it get created in the first place?"
"Sir, do you remember all those natural disasters that happened around Avengers Tower a couple months ago?"
"How could I forget, Agent Barton. Now, you mean to tell me that Thor was responsible for causing all of that shit?!"
"Not exactly sir."
"What do you mean, not exactly? He either did or he didn't!"
"As Clint was telling you, sir. It wasn't exactly Thor that caused the natural disasters."
"Really Ms. Romanoff? Who do you expect me to think did it? Rogers?!"
All the Avengers sat quietly; no one moved. Steve was as red as Natasha's hair, and he began to fidget in his seat.
"Rogers? You mean to tell me that the man who can't work a calculator caused all that shit?! Damn am I getting too old for this." The Director sat down. "Well don't just stare at me like that, tell me what the hell happened!"
~5 Months ago~
Thor was feeling very hungry so he made his way to his " holy, secret poptart stash" which was neither holy or secret, but it sure as hell was a stash. As he was taking them out of their shiny wrappers, he noticed there was a recipe tip on the box: "For an excellent treat, try putting your poptart in the microwave for 30 seconds."
"Why yes, box of ambrosia. I will take thy most excellent advice!"
Thor made his way to the kitchen and located what he knew to be the microwave. He put the poptarts in the microwave and closed the door. Then he waited. Fifteen minutes later, he was still waiting. Unfortunately for Clint, it was at that moment when he chose to enter the kitchen.
"Eye of the Hawk! I require some assistance."
Clint grimaced. He recalled the last time Thor "required some assistance." He ended up with a broken nose and one hell of a headache. "Sure Thor, what do you need?" Clint barely managed to reply through his gritted teeth.
"I am most puzzled. The poptart box says to heat the poptart for thirty seconds. I placed them in the microwave and closed the door. I've been waiting here for fifteen minutes. What did I do wrong?"
Clint was shocked. This was actually something relatively simple to solve. "Oh, that's no problem. You just forgot to turn the microwave on. Just press that button for thirty seconds and the microwave will do the rest."
"Oh, that tis simple my friend! Thank thee for your assistance!"
"No problem big fella." Clint exited the kitchen as fast as he could. He didn't want to be the one around when Thor had another question.
No sooner had Clint left the kitchen, than a huge BOOM echoed throughout the floor. Clint ran to the kitchen and saw Thor covered in black food particles. More importantly, he saw the microwave, well...more lack of it.
"My friend, the shiny paper on this delicacy is most intriguing. I did not know it made lightning!"
Clint wanted to die. He really just wanted to not exist at this moment. It wasn't long before the other Avengers were in the kitchen.
"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BEAUTIFUL MICROWAVE?! I BUILT IT FROM SCRATCH JUST FOR THIS TOWER!"
"Thor left the tin foil on the poptarts..."
"AND YOU LET HIM DO IT, BIRDBRAIN?!"
"In my defense, I thought he had taken them out of the wrapper."
Tony was breathing in and out of a paper bag. Natasha made a bet with Bruce that he would go into the fetal position within five minutes.
"Thor."
"My dearest Man of Iron, I can assure you that I meant no intentional harm to your microwave."
"I know big guy. I just want to let you know about the new rule I'm implementing starting now. You are not allowed to touch the microwave without at least one of us in this room with you."
"Okay, my friend. Thank thee for being so understanding." Thor proceeded to give Tony what could only be described as a crushing hug.
"Oooookay big guy. Ugh. Can't breathe. Thor...Thor...THOR!"
"Sorry, sometimes I forget my own strength."
"My back."
"Want me to fix that for you, Stark?" Natasha flashed Tony a purely evil grin.
"No. Nope. I think I'm good now." Tony made the effort to straighten up as he hobbled out of the kitchen, presumably to the med floor.
The rest of the Avengers slowly left the kitchen, all silently praying that they would not have to be the one that Thor would come to for help.
~The Next Day~
After the new microwave had been installed, Thor was very eager to try the delicacy as described by the poptart box. So, Thor set out in search of a fellow Avenger. Clint and Natasha were nowhere to be found (in actuality, they had taken to hiding in the air vents due to their foresight that Thor would inevitably want to try the heated up poptarts as soon as the new microwave went in), Tony was out on a mission, and Dr. Banner had been called into a SHIELD meeting. That left Steve. As Thor walked to Steve's room he was overjoyed. A reaction, that was definitely not shared by the supersoldier as he heard the thunderous knock on his door.
"Good Captain Rogers! I do require your assistance as per the Man of Iron's new rule regarding the microwave."
Steve's heart sank. He knew he was doomed. "Thor, I'm a little busy right now, maybe one of the others can help you." There, he tried. As Stark said, "if you're not lying, you're not trying." Steve was just now beginning to see the truth in that statement.
"Oh," Thor looked devastated, "I was unable to find any of the others, it seems that they are not around. Thank you Captain. I wish you luck with your endeavors."
Thor looked so depressed, and Steve felt so horrible. "Well, I need to take a break anyway. My work can wait." Thor was beaming. Steve never recalled seeing the Asgardian god smile so much.
"HUZZAH! To the kitchen!"
Upon their arrival, Steve fixed four poptarts and left them for Thor. Then he took his leave, letting Thor know that he was going back to finish his "work."
As soon as Steve sat down on the bed, Thor appeared again.
"Good Captain! Would thou mind fixing another batch of that glorious delicacy?"
"Sure Thor..." Steve was not pleased. He had no idea how he could have eaten all four that quickly. Steve fixed them anyway. After all, how many more times could Thor possibly want poptarts?
Unfortunately for Steve, Thor wanted more poptarts, 41 more times over the course of two days. Steve was exhausted and sick of having to go make Thor's poptarts. He swore, that if Thor came up to his room wanting him to fix poptarts one more time, he was going to lose it.
Thor came to ask for poptarts a 42nd time. Steve could handle it no longer.
"I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE. IF YOU WANT SOMEONE TO MAKE YOUR STUPID FUCKING POPTARTS, GO FUCKING ASK SOMEONE ELSE!"
Steve was livid. His nostrils flared from his heavy breathing, and he was as red as a tomato. Thor stood there in shock. Natasha and Clint were watching from an air duct. Both of their mouths were open; neither could believe that their untainted little Captain had not only dropped the f-bomb, but had dropped it 3 times in succession. After a few seconds, all hell broke loose. It was like Armageddon within the Avengers Tower. For three whole minutes, the Tower was subjected to torrential rain, what Steve thought appeared to be a tornado, and an earthquake.
Natasha and Clint had fallen out of the air vent during the natural disasters.
"Um, Steve...that was not Thor causing that since he didn't have his hammer...so I would highly recommend that you never ever say the f-word again."
"Sure Clint," Steve gasped between words, "no problem."
~Present Day~
Fury stared at the Avengers, dumbfounded.
"You mean to tell me that all of that crazy-ass shit that went down a couple months ago was because you dropped the f-bomb?"
"Sir, I said it three times, the natural disasters lasted for three minutes. I am never saying that word again."
"It's about fucking time, Capcicle. You just don't fit the whole cussing thing."
"Ah, yes, Mr. Stark, you have still failed to tell me what Thor duty is or how it came around."
"Well, baldie, after the little cussing incident we decided that to keep that kind of crazy burden of keeping Thor out of trouble, we needed a calendar dividing who has to babysit Thor every day. Whenever he has a question and asks one of us, we check the calendar and tell him to go to whoever is responsible for that day."
"I see. And how many incidents have happened since then?"
"None."
Fury did a spit take. "WHAT?!"
"You heard me. We haven't had a single Thor related incident since we introduced the system."
"Oh...I see...well, keep on doing what you're doing. And, you wouldn't happen to have something like that which could be applicable to a very accident prone intern would you?"
"Nope. Only works on gods. Peace out, ladies. I've got a date with Pepper."
After Stark left, the rest of the Avengers followed suit. Fury sat down in his chair, still confused at the notion that Steve Rogers actually said the f-word.