Dear Readers,
Happy thanksgiving! Hope you enjoy this holiday present! It's not really related to thanksgiving at all... just thought you would enjoy an update. R&R guys! Thanks:)
Clove and Cato were standing face to face in the clearing of a forest. Clove instantly felt deja vu. She felt like she had been here, in this exact situation, feeling these same feelings before. Everything from the devastated look on his face to her instinct that she was in danger felt eerily familiar. She knew she should be making a fight or flight choice immediately, but she somehow knew she wouldn't be doing either one of those things.
She stayed rooted to the spot in which she stood, staring back at Cato. It was like she wasn't even in her own shoes anymore; it was as if she was watching the situation play out from outside her body. She had a feeling she knew where the situation was going, but knew she was powerless to stop it.
She suddenly struck out with her knife against him; he grabbed her by the wrist before she could make contact. He squeezed her wrist so hard that her hand involuntarily loosened on the weapon and dropped it. Somehow, she had known this exact exchange would take place, and yet she still initiated it.
She tried to punch him with her other hand, but he had been expecting that; he had ducked the punch and then rammed her in the stomach with his shoulder, smashing her into a tree. She had gotten the breath knocked out of her but she managed to recover quickly enough to duck out of Cato's grip and get away from the tree so as to not be cornered. She was losing her mind, that was the only explanation for how she knew the exact pattern of their actions.
"Clove, wait!" She forced herself to take a step backwards. As soon as her foot hit the ground, Cato's eyes were full of alarm. He grabbed her tightly by her arms. She tried to push away from him, but he was holding her too tight.
He then slid his hand up to the back of her neck, pulling her head towards his, resting his forehead against her. He was breathing heavy, eyes closed. She closed her eyes too, reveling in the moment. "I'm sorry."
All of this was too strange; it was like she had lived it before but couldn't change it at all; and she knew what was coming next, but she was dreading it more than anything in the world. Even knowing all of this, she couldn't stop herself from asking the question she already knew the answer to. "For what?" Clove asked automatically.
"This." Suddenly she felt him shift and then she felt a intense pain unlike any other in her stomach. She knew it had been coming, and yet she was still so shocked she couldn't even manage a scream. Her eyes flew open, looking down. He had run her completely through with his sword. She looked back up in his eyes and saw nothing. She felt her body going numb, and then she was falling and screaming into the black.
Clove woke up screaming. She quickly slapped a hand over her mouth. She looked over at Cato, and realized he was still asleep. He always could sleep through anything. Clove stood up, putting on her night vision glasses so that she would not get surprised by another tribute.
Then, without anything else to do, she sat down with her back against the cornucopia, watching Cato as he slept, his chest rising and falling slowly. She spun a knife in between her fingers as she watched him sleep, eyes locked on him unbreakably, as if she were in a trance.
It had been only a day since Marvel had died. A day since she and Cato had finally put aside all the bullshit and done what they always did; used each other for comfort and distraction. A day since Clove finally felt whole again for the first time since she had entered the games. And it had been a day since Clove had unknowingly put her guard down around Cato; and that was something she was not okay with.
She didn't realize how much her own mind rejected the notion of trusting Cato until a few moments ago; waking from the same nightmare she had experienced the night before they entered the arena. Clearly she trusted Cato consciously more than she did subconsciously.
And why should she really even trust him? He had proven over and over again that he was not worthy of being trusted. He had slept with Glimmer and he had tried to kill her; those being two of the many examples of why Cato was not to be trusted. And of course, there was the fact that they were in the middle of the Hunger Games with only six tributes left alive. That meant they were nearing the bitter end; five more people would die before this game was over. And one of those people would be Cato or Clove; there was no way around it, no happy ending where they both survived. The outcome looked grim. Clove couldn't afford to trust Cato any longer. If she did, she could find herself dead.
She hadn't realized just how deeply entranced she was until the sound of trumpets (following the showing that zero deaths had taken place that day, despite her and Cato's efforts to hunt down any of the four other tributes). She was so startled that the knife she had been playing with flew out of her hand, landing a few feet away. The trumpets had woken Cato, and when he saw the knife sticking straight up and down out of the ground only a foot away from his head, he rose his eyebrow at her. She averted her eyes, refusing to look at him.
Claudius Templesmith's voice echoed from overhead, congratulating the six remaining tributes. "He's probably just announcing the feast." Clove said. "It's getting to be that time-"
"Shh, wait a minute." Cato interrupted her, finger to her lips. Clove glared at him, but then realized immediately why he was silencing her. They weren't being invited for a feast. She caught the tail end of the sentence; the only words she heard were "A rule change." But that was all she needed to hear to know this was important, and she really listened closely now.
"Under this new rule," Boomed Claudius Templesmith's voice, "both tributes from the same district will be declared winners if they are the last two alive." Clove froze completely. She wasn't even sure if she was breathing. Cato's eyes widened to the size of saucers but that was about all he showed. As if he realized it wasn't sinking in, Claudius repeated himself. Then the announcement is over.
The silence was deafening as Cato and Clove sat frozen, not moving, not saying a word for what seemed like eternity. Clove knew they were both thinking the same thing; There is no way in hell that this is real. In the 74 years of the Hunger Games, there has NEVER been a rule change. Never, not ever, not even once. It had to be a lie, or some sort of trick. Or it was for them, Clove thought to herself, practically sneering. For the fake star-crossed idiots of District 12. But that didn't even matter; because they may be making a "rule change" to appease the audience and play up loverboy and the girl on fire... but there is no way that in the end, even if the two managed to make it until then, that they would let them both live. And anyone who trusted the Capitol would keep their word was an idiot.
"Clove?" Cato's voice, softer than she had ever heard it, broke her from her thoughts.
She looked up at him, startled that he had moved to be standing in front of her. She hadn't even noticed him move. "Yea?"
"Did you hear what he just said?" Cato asked, putting his hand out to pull her to her feet.
Clove just stared at his hand, and then up to him, slowly realizing that they had not been thinking the same thing at all. "I heard."
"And?" He asked expectantly. "There is only one other pair left, and LoverBoy doesn't have that much time left if I cut him where I think I did... And-"
She still didn't take his hand. "And what Cato? You have got to be kidding me. Don't tell me you actually believe that this rule change is going to stand? In the end, they could just make another rule change. It wouldn't matter which two were left... there can only be one. It's always been that way."
"But there has never been a rule change before now, and I don't think they'll make two in the same year-"
"Cato, if you believe that, then you are a bigger idiot than I thought."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He asked, yanking her up by her arm. Cato was starting to get angry, she could tell. He was being stupid though, and she couldn't afford to let either of them to lose focus at a time like this.
"It means they made the rule change because they felt like it, and what if they feel like changing it again? Nothing will stop them. They can do whatever they want, and the Games is proof of that." She said simply.
"That doesn't sound like the Clove I know." He said searching her eyes.
"Cato, I was never one to hold on to false hope." She said flatly.
He let out a breath, running a hand through his hair. Then he gripped both od her upper arms tightly. "Okay, I get why you are skeptical, but what if it isn't false hope, Clove? Huh? What then?"
She stared at him hard. "You really believe we have a chance."
"Don't you?" He asked seriously.
"Cato, I don't expect anything anymore." He let his hand fall from her arm with those words.
"Even if you don't believe it, isn't it worth a try?"
"Cato if it comes down to it and they remove the rule change..." She struggled to put it into words... mostly because it made her look weak. But at this point, she wasn't sure how strong she really was anymore. "I can't kill you. I won't."
"And you think I can kill you?" He asked, sounding offended.
"You act like you wouldn't, but I know better." She said, turning away from him. "Can we just forget about this whole fantasy of the both of us getting out alive thing and stick to our plan? This is no time to get distracted."
"This is not about the possibility of a fake rule change is it? This is about the huge load of dysfunction we have going on, isn't it?"
Clove froze, refusing to turn and look at him, she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right. "What are you talking about Cato?"
"I'm talking about us, this." She heard him take a step toward her, and she instinctively tensed. "And I may want to punch you in the mouth sometimes, but that is just us. We are fucked up together. And I don't care if the whole Capitol knows that I love you." Clove didn't move, didn't say anything. "I know you love me Clove."
"That is the weakest thing you have ever let yourself say." She said to him, but the edge in her voice was gone.
He put his hand on her shoulder, turning her around to face him. "Clove...Tell me that you don't love me." Cato demanded suddenly, challenging her. He had her backed into a corner. But she didn't love him. She did not and she could not. There was no way. Sure they had been through a ton together, but love? Clove didn't do love. Love meant weakness, and she was notweak.
"I don't love you." She told him, but she heard how her mouth rejected the words; her breathing hitched and her voice was flat. She cursed herself, not sure why she reacted this way. It was true after all.
For a second, Cato and her just stared at one another; the only thing that was heard was their breathing and the crackle of the fire. Finally, Cato leaned down to her and pressed his lips against hers, and she fought against him immediately. She went to grab a knife from her vest, but he grabbed her wrists, forcing them up against the tree. He kissed her neck. "Cato, stop it!" Clove hissed, her mouth now free. "Cato-" He bit down on her neck and her body betrayed her; her eyes snapped shut and she wasn't quick enough to bite back a moan of pleasure.
"Are you sure?" He said with his usual arrogance. "Because it doesn't sound like you want me to stop."
Before she could respond, he crashed his lips on her again. She couldn't cave. She wouldn't. She refused. She tried to turn her head away, but he grabbed her face with the hand not holding her wrists, forcing his lips on hers, opening her mouth with his own and invading it with his tongue. She bit his tongue, but that just got him going even more. He pressed his body against hers, and she tried so hard to fight it but she just couldn't anymore. She was just as powerless against him as she always had been.
She kissed him back with as much raw emotion as he kissed her. He let go of her wrists and gripped her by the ass. She gasped into his mouth and he smirked into hers. He pulled her body up, and she went with him, wrapping her legs around his waist like they were so used to doing. One of his hands ran up the side of her body, tangling into her hair. The other hand gripped her thigh tightly, scratching up her leg. He ground his body into hers, and he groaned in pleasure. He did it over and over and she wasn't objecting.
Finally he broke the kiss, and both of them were breathing hard. In her ear he whispered, "So do you want to try that again? Because I didn't quite buy that you don't love me. Did you?"
Clove was enraged at his tactics. She grabbed onto the tree and pulled her legs back, kicking him hard in the stomach. "Screw you." She spat at him, turning away.
"Where are you going?" He said angrily, grabbing her by the upper arm.
"Away from you." She snapped, pulling her arm away from his. "I don't have to prove anything to anyone. Least of all to you." She said, turning to walk away.
"And yet your whole life you've been trying to prove yourself to everyone around you, including me... and your parents..." She stopped dead in her tracks. He knew he was getting to her.
"Not another word, Cato." She warned him.
Cato continued like she hadn't spoken at all. "To prove you don't need any of them, that you are superior, that you are a victor." Clove was shaking visibly with anger.
"That's not true." She whipped around, looking at him with volatile desperation.
"If it isn't true then why are you getting so upset?" He pushed.
"Cato stop it right now." She said, trying to keep her voice as even as possible.
If he knew what was best for him, he would've stopped there and let her walk away and cool off. He didn't. "You know what? I don't see a victor. No, I see a psychotic little girl who will never amount to anything. Just like everyone always said." Cato knew how wrong of him it was to say her worst nightmare out loud, but he couldn't stop himself.
Clove cleared the space between them in the matter of what seemed like a split second. She used his body weight against him and tripped him so that she he fell with her on top of him. She slammed him hard into the ground, her knife pressing into his throat and she was screaming, "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! DON'T TALK ANYMORE! SAY NOTHING!" The look in her eyes was that of a feral animal, but he saw they looked glassy, which was as close to crying over this as she would come. "No more talking." She insisted. And he nodded, accepting it- mostly because he really fucked up this time and he knew it. He would be silent as long as she stayed with him. They stayed like that for what felt like hours.
"Christ you are easier to get to then you used to be." He said quietly and slid his hand up her wrist, holding it tightly. With his other hand he took the blade out of her hand; she barely resisted.
"Well that is your fault. Just like everything else." She said.
"I have turned you into a temper-tantrum pro, haven't I?" He said, putting his hand to his throat absentmindedly. "I think you might have actually nicked me."
"And yet, I still can't get rid of you. You would think me constantly putting your life on the line would caution you against being a first rate jackass."
"And yet... it really doesn't." He smirked up at her, sliding his hand up to cup her cheek. "You know I didn't mean all those things... I was throwing my own form of temper tantrum."
"Yea, well, what else is new?" She said rolling her eyes at him.
"Does that mean I'm forgiven?" He asked.
"That means I'm not going to cut your dick off. No one said anything about forgiveness. But if this rule change is real, I'm gonna need you on your A-game, and that means I can't have you bleeding out, even if I'm the one who caused it."
"Did you just say what I think you said?"
"I said if. I will believe it when I see it. Until then let's just go about our business as if it is real."
"Ladies and gentlemen, Clove Carson is being reasonable!" Cato shouted. "I am so glad someone got this moment on camera."
"Yea yea yea, you win. Shut your pie-hole; be lucky I am choosing not to gut you yet." She said.
"Didn't someone say something about no more talking?" He asked, pulling her closer to him, if that was even possible.
"Yea, and I'm saying it again; no more talking." She said, letting him pull her face down to his. He flipped her over so she was on her back, and he hovered over her. He started kissing her neck, and she dug her nails into his back.
He paused, his mouth moving until it was right next to her ear. "I know you said no more talking but this needs to be said. I am sorry. And I may be weak, but I don't care; you are the reason I'm weak. I love you even though your psychotic; because I am just as insane as you are. And now that we can both actually make it out of this alive, I need you to be with me to make it work. Are you with me? Because if not, we might as well go our separate ways right now."
She hesitated, thinking it probably would be for the best for her to leave and do the rest of this on her own; but she realized he was right. She did love him; even if it was in her own sick and twisted way. Which is why she hadn't killed him, no matter what he did to her. How seconds ago she was ready to slit his throat and now she was ready to fuck his brains out. There was a thin line between love and hat, and Cato blurred the lines so much that she felt like she might hate and love him with equal measure. But as much as she hated him and everything he was and how he made her feel; he still made her feel. She nodded. "I'm with you. Now shut up and kiss me before I change my mind and dice you into little pieces." He smirked, crashing his lips down on to hers as they did what they always did; use each other to get their anger out physically.