FYH Outtake 4
Carlisle vs Esme
Carlisle POV:
It was a long while after I retreated to my office that there was a soft knock on the door. I knew who it was but wasn't sure that I was in the frame of mind to deal with this and be rational yet. But there was no way, no matter how angry I was with her, that I would hurt her by ignoring her. Indifference and rejection can hurt worse than anger sometimes.
I knew that my wife had done some bad things in her attempt to force her agenda on Edward but I never knew that she had sunk that low. I also wondered what else she had done that she hadn't confessed to yet. I mean how could she do these things! He never had a chance to decide for himself what he wanted out of life, she made sure of that. And I'm sure that the gold digging whore and her sisters were more than happy to go along with my wife's idiotic plans. But hearing her confess these things to our son was more than I could handle. I was angry and getting angrier by the second so I retreated to my office to cool down.
So I sighed and told her to come in. She sat on the sofa in my office starring at her hands. "I know what I did was inexcusable."
"You realize we may have just lost our son for good because of that? Because of what YOU did!"
"I know that it is a possibility. But I won't keep the truth from him anymore. Even if I lose him for good he has a right to know what a horrible mother I was. Maybe I'd deserve to lose him." My wife was now quietly sobbing but I was still too angry to go to her. She may deserve to lose our son but that did mean that I deserved to be punished for her crimes.
"What about me Esme? Did you think about what this would do to my relationship with my son while you were forcing that whore on him, never letting him have a single say in his own life?"
I knew that I had made a big mistake by going there when she looked up at me with what were now angry tears in her eyes.
"At least I'm admitting my crimes and asking for forgiveness for them. I am not the only one guilty of the crimes that you are accusing me of."
"What the hell are you talking about? I never tried to force that bitch on him. That was all you, honey."
"I'm not talking about Tanya. I'm talking about your obstinate determination that at least one of your children goes to Dartmouth and become a surgeon. When did he actually SAY that he wanted to become a doctor? Let alone a cardio-vascular surgeon just like their daddy."
"Well….ummm…that's beside the fricken point! Stop changing the subject!"
"I'm not changing the subject at all you ass! I am just pointing out that you did things to damage your relationship with your son and push him away too. I am the first to admit that the things that I did were infinitely worse but I am not the only guilty party here and I will not take all the blame on myself." We were now standing face to face and screaming at each other at the top of our lungs.
And looked my wife right in the eyes and I knew at that moment that she was right. I slumped back to my desk and fell into my chair. I was just as guilty of the things that I had accused her of. I knew damn well that Edward didn't want to go into medicine at all but I never let that stop me. Nothing was going to stop me from getting him into med school. I also knew that what he really wanted to be was a writer. I would never get my dream of having another doctor in the family and I knew that and now I had to accept that. I also had my own sins that I needed to atone for.
Neither of us had ever taken our child's thoughts, feelings, or dreams in to consideration. But the one thing that I was absolutely certain of was that even though we had failed our children in horrible ways neither of us was really a failure as a parent. We had made mistakes like any other parent would have, although ours were on a much grander scale. But our children were good people and at least now they all were happy in their lives and found wonderful people to love them back. And I firmly believed that what we had broke and the damage that we had caused wasn't so bad that it couldn't be fixed.
Esme came over and sat in my lap, something that she used to do all the time but hadn't for years. She told me about her conversation with Edward and how angry he was. But even with that anger he let her speak to Bella. That gave us both the hope that all hope of total reconciliation with our son was not lost.
She told me that Bella was just as wonderful as Emmett and Rose had described her as. She was sweet and quiet spoken but Esme could tell she was a strong women. And most of all she could tell that she truly loved our son and was going to care for him and take care of him always. We knew that no matter where our son ended up and no matter what he did with his life he was going to be just fine.
I would need to talk to him and ask his forgiveness for the things that I did but first I wanted to have the chance to talk to our therapist about it. To figure out how to approach the subject and say to my son the things that I really needed to say to him. I needed to figure out how to let go of my dreams and help my children achieve theirs. We talked for hours and came to many understanding but the one question that we didn't have an answer for was 'how do you ask someone to forgive you for doing something that you still haven't forgiven yourself for doing?'.
I was starting to think that we were going to have to book a double session with the therapist this week to deal with everything. It had been my plan to inquire about starting to include the children in the therapy sessions, as I was thinking that it would be beneficial to all of us, but that would have to wait until next week now.
A/N:
There you have it. The argument. I hope that you like it. I am still deciding what the next outtake will be.