SURPRISE! An extra outtake this week!

FYH Outtake 6

Maybe What We Really Need is Electroshock Therapy

JaspPOV:

How the hell did I get dragged into this? Oh, yeah, because I love my wife. Maybe I can claim I have an exam or paper I need to work on a get out of doing this next time. But then again, if it wasn't so damn humiliating it would be hilarious watching this unfold.

What is going on you ask…family therapy…with my in-laws. I know why we need to be here. My in-laws while being great people have a lot of issues and pain that they have inflicted on their children, especially their youngest, Edward. Hell, we've all inflicted pain on Edward in some fashion. I don't blame him one bit for running off in the middle of the night, hell, I am considering doing the same thing right now. I must really love my wife to put up with this spectacle.

It had started off so well. We were all seated nice and proper and discussion things like rational adults. Now I am sitting here with my head in my hands and the therapist is looking horrified. It would probably be better to start at the beginning so you can understand.

First I should start with my brother-in-law Edward. The guy is completely controlled and owned by his parents. By both of his parents. The boy could barely order lunch at McDonald's without calling and asking what he should get. And that is not an exaggeration. It was ridiculous that neither of his parents saw what was going on and how miserable he was.

My mother-in-law, Esme, well, she is a wonderful lady and a loving mother and I do love her, we all do. She's just a little psycho when it comes to her children's lives and letting go. She's always refused to let her kids get too far from her. It was nearly impossible to keep up a long-distance relationship with Alice when she was rarely allowed to come back to LA to visit and I always had to go to her. My parents weren't all that crazy about me going that far to see my girlfriend while I was in high school. Once ten whole months went by between visits and neither of us was happy.

So, what did we do? We took it out on Edward. He was an easy target. We couldn't take it out on her parents because well they were letting me stay at their house when I visited. Rose stayed there too when she came down and until she moved here for school and got her own apartment. I did the same when I was finally able to move to Phoenix to be with Alice. Rose and Emmett were right about it being ideal for privacy and to just get away from the family drama at the house.

Then there's Carlisle, again a great person but gullible if he ever really believed that his daughter that took dance lessons for years and was graceful as all get out turned into such a total klutz when she entered a science class and only when she entered a science class. Or that straight "A" Emmett couldn't pass a science class to save his life. He wanted another doctor in the family so Edward was going to a have to be it.

I was so happy and proud of Edward when he took off. We all knew that there was no way that he should be marrying that woman. I hated her from the day that I met her. She tried several times over the years to get me into bed with her. The last time was about two months before the wedding that didn't happen. No way was that ever going to happen. First of all, I would never cheat on my Alice and second, I wouldn't touch that girl with a ten foot pole. I don't know if Edward ever did but I hoped that he was at least safe about it.

After the wedding was cancelled Esme had the sister's things packed and taken to a storage facility and had her lawyer contact them and tell them where they find their things. Because, Esme out of the goodness of her heart took them in when their mother was dying and let them stay after she was gone and this was how they repaid her kindness.

Anyway, back to this so called "group therapy" session. It had started off so well, too. The therapist had gone around to each of us and asked why we wanted to be here today. I told her that I just wanted my wife to be happy and she wasn't going to be happy if her family wasn't whole and happy, so essentially I was there for Alice. Alice wanted to learn how to be a better person that deserved not only her brother's forgiveness for her own forgiveness. Emmett and Rose were here for similar reasons to Alice and my self, respectively, and the therapist told us that it was admirable to want to be here for our spouses and support them in such a significant way.

Then she made the mistake of asking us what we thought about Tanya and why each of us didn't try harder to change things. She asked the room in general but Rose is the first one that spoke up.

"What do I think of the bitch? She's a whore like her mother."

"Don't speak about Carmen like that, she was a nice lady. Anyway, you should never speak ill of the dead."

"She was no lady, Esme."

"You would know, wouldn't you Carlisle?"

"I thought that we put this behind us years ago and that you believed me that she was lying?"

"hmm"

"That's all you have to say is "hmmm". I still cannot believe that you kept her in our lives and invited her into our home after that."

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Emmett finally broke into his parent's argument.

"What are we talking about son? We are talking about the fact that Saint Carmen accused me of having an affair with her and then tried to claim that Kate was my daughter. Which is nothing but lies!"

"She never did say who else could be her father, Carlisle."

"She never said because she didn't know! Just like with Tanya and Irina. She slept around so much it would be impossible to narrow it down to a few hundred likely suspects."

"Like mother like daughter, huh. Saint Tanya really was exactly like Carmen after all." Alice finally broke in.

"I had no idea that Tanya was cheating on Edward or I would have put a stop to it immediately." At this point Esme stood and started pacing them room and was becoming extremely agitated. Her comment, however, had made Alice so livid that she jumped up from the couch at marched over to her mother to face her.

"That is total bull****, mom. I went to you and tried to tell you that I saw her cheating. And you refused to listen. You called me and liar and just two weeks later YOU decided to put that damn ring under the tree and trap him in a marriage that the rest of us knew he didn't want!" Alice was now in her mother's face screaming at her.

"Did you ever wonder why she begged for you to let her switch rooms when she was sixteen that she just needed a room with a balcony? She needed a convenient way to come and go without you seeing her." At this point Emmett had now jumped up, and joined the fray with Rose right by his side.

Now they are all standing there in the middle of the room, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Alice, and Rose screaming and swearing at each other and laying blame and calling each other out on the most atrocious crimes that they've ever committed and it is loud until Carlisle drops the bomb, "at least I never had a child beat to within an inch of her life just because the poor child had the audacity to like Edward." You could literally hear a pin drop as that effectively shut everyone up for all of a split second before they started screaming at each other once more.

The poor therapist was trying desperately to get everyone's attention to no avail until she walked to her desk and pulled out an air horn and let in off scaring everyone in to silence.

"Everyone needs to sit down and be quiet. This is never going to work with everyone screaming and no one listening. Let's start this over and forget about, uh, "her" for a minute. I want everyone to tell me just one regret that they have it can either be about this situation or life in general. Jasper, you've been quiet why don't you start?"

Can I tell them that I am now regretting coming here today? That would probably not be a good idea at this time. I looked up and saw that everyone was looking at me expectantly. "I regret not getting to know Edward better and giving us a chance at being friends and brothers before he left."

"Rose how about you?"

"I regret not trying harder to get Emmett to agree to go to Esme with me and letting him talk me into letting Edward deal with it himself."

"But Rose, wouldn't you agree that Edward was able to handle it himself when he was finally ready."

"Yes, I do. I am glad he found someone worth fighting for but it doesn't alleviate the guilt that I just stood by for years and never did anything to help him."

"Emmett?"

"I regret not following my dreams and opening a body shop."

"We'll talk about that later. I really want to go into why you felt that you couldn't or at least decided not to pursue that. But we are almost out of time and I need to get through this first. Alice?"

"I regret a lot of things. I regret being so cruel and spreading rumors about him."

"Like what kind of rumors?"

"I kinda told everyone I knew at the high school that Edward wet the bed."

"Alice you didn't!"

"Don't start with me mother. You're no innocent bystander here either." She snapped at her mother.

"Ok. Esme since you're eager to speak you can go next."

"I regret every decision I made since the day of the fire. But to choose one, for now, I'll go with putting the ring under the tree without consulting Edward. I should never have tried to force him into a marriage with, uh, "her".

"Carlisle what about you?"

"For me it would be forbidden Edward from continuing his writing."

"Great. Now I know that most of you have more regrets in there that we will need to deal with but this is where we are going to start. Our time is up for today so what I want all of you to do for next time is to write down some ideas on what you can do to let go of these regrets and move past them. Also, Edward should be involved in this. I'd like to get him to agree to get involved by telephone if possible. Esme? Carlisle? One of you needs to call him and talk to him about it. Which one of you is going to do it?"

"I will." Esme spoke up.

"Good. Carlisle and Esme I will see you two next week and the rest of you I will see in two weeks so go in peace. PLEASE!

A/N:

Thought I'd give everyone a surprise treat of an extra update! I hope you enjoyed group therapy. It was fun to write.