FYH Outtake 7

Phone Call with Esme

EsmePOV:

We came home from the therapy session and I immediately went up to my room, lied down on my bed, and started crying. Carlisle joined me a few minutes later with a cup of hot tea and fresh box of Kleenex. He crawled onto the bed behind me and just held me as I fell apart.

My oldest child was now leaving me. I actually knew that it was coming. It wasn't that big of a surprise. I knew that Emmett never liked living in Phoenix. What was really upsetting was that I knew that they were trying to get pregnant and I was pretty sure that she was. I was just waiting for them to tell me, I was trying not to be a meddling mother. Nevertheless, they were going to have a baby and they would be so far away from Carlisle and me. Carlisle was not going to have his grandchild close and it would be all my fault. I did this. I deserved this. Carlisle did not.

But what was really upsetting me tonight was that my youngest child hated me and I didn't think that he was ever going to forgive me. Honestly, I still hadn't forgiven me so why would he. How could I even expect him to at this point.

We lied there for a while until I eventually fell asleep. I was awoken a few hours later by the ringing of the phone. As I sat up and turned on the light and grab my phone I realized that Carlisle was no longer with me.

"Edward I am so happy that you called." I answered the call after looking at the caller ID.

"Esme, It's Bella." I was surprised to hear her voice.

"Is Edward alright? Did something happen?"

"We're fine. He's asleep actually. Today took a lot out of him. He was completely exhausted. I actually called because I need a favor."

"Anything Bella. What ever you need."

"Well, Edward was telling me that you always made Thanksgiving dinner and I was wondering if there was a dish that you always made that he just loved and if I could get that recipe?"

"Really?"

"Yes. I'd love to include a piece of his home for the dinner and in essence it would be a piece of you, like a part of you was here with us for dinner."

At that I started crying again. This lady was so sweet. She really was everything that a mother would want for her son. Bella was still trying to calm me down.

"It's ok sweetheart. It's just been a really emotional day for me."

"Yes. It must be hard to hear that Emmett and Rose are leaving too. But like Bethany said you can always visit them and you can always visit us—when we figure out where we'll end up."

"Oh dear. You better clear that with Edward before you invite me to visit you."

"Esme, I know that he misses you. He's told me so. Please believe me when I say that he loves you and he knows that you love him, just give him some time and space to calm down."

"Do you think that it is possible that he'll get over his anger with me and forgive me someday?"

"I know he will, Esme, like I said he needs time. The wounds are still raw right now."

"Thank you, Bella."

"Are you really ok, Esme? Where is Carlisle?"

"I'm…I'll be fine and as for Carlisle, I am not sure where he disappeared to. He was here early until I fell asleep."

"You're really all right with Emmett and Rose moving?"

"I am. Well, more that I would be if Carlisle wasn't going to lose out on having his grandchild close."

"Is Rose is pregnant?"

"Ummm. Not that they've told me. By the way, Emmett wanted to call Edward but was afraid it was too soon, maybe you could ask Edward to call him?"

"I can do that. But Esme come on. Do you think she is?"

" I really should say anything Bella, I am trying so hard not to interfere.

"You're right. It is news for Emmett and Rose to share when they are ready. But don't be so hard on yourself Esme. You are trying so hard and everyone can see it."

"Really?"

"Yes really."

"My biggest fear is that I've done too much permanent damage to my relationship with my family. I may deserve not to have my grandchild in my life, but Carlisle doesn't."

"You don't deserve to lose that either, Esme. Please don't let this make you take a step back in your therapy. I know that Edward will forgive you. I wouldn't let him hold a grudge forever. I know what it's like to suddenly find out that your family is gone and never coming back. He would regret it deeply if something happened to you or Carlisle and he hadn't forgiven you yet."

"I'm sorry to keep dropping my problems on you, dear. How are you holding up with the holidays? Is it the first since they died?"

"No. It's actually the second holiday season since I lost them but that doesn't make it any easier. I miss them so much every day. I just want to pick up the phone and hear my mother's voice one more time. I want to walk into the house and hear my dad grumbling about having to have the perfect shine on his uniform for the city Christmas party. I miss so much when it comes to my parents. They were all I had and now my whole family is dead."

"No Bella. We are your family now and we love you dearly. You saved not only Edward but this whole family and I am so grateful that you walked into his life and talked him into running off with you."

"So am I." She giggled.

"He loves my cranberry sauce. I've always made it from scratch. You think you could do that?"

"Actually, I can. Mom and I used to make homemade jam every year."

"I've always loved canning, but Alice and Rose were never interested."

"Well, Esme, I guess that that will just our thing. You and me and some mason jars."

"It's a date. Next canning season."

"You're on."

"Thank you so much for calling me Bella. It was exactly what I needed tonight." Then I gave her the recipe that I memorized so many years and told her to call me if she had any questions and then I let her go. Carlisle reentered the room right after I hung up the phone. He was carrying a tray filled with Chinese food. He looked at me sitting the smiling and raised his eye brows questioningly, "I ordered your favorite comfort foods to cheer you up, but it appears that I am too late."

"Bella called. We had a nice talk and I feel better."

"Good," was all that he said as he placed the tray on the bed beside me and I picked up an egg roll and fed it to him. We spent the rest of the evening feeding each other and truly talking about the important issues that were happening in our lives. And I wondered, if Bella hadn't happened into our lives, would my marriage have lasted? Would Carlisle have eventually gotten fed up with me and left? These were questions that I was sure that I never wanted or needed to know the answer. Because I would continue to get the help that I needed and to become the wife and mother that my family needed me to be.

A/N:

It's apparently a two-fer day because here is the phone call reference at during the main chapter. I am going to write the Emmett call tomorrow probably at work and then I'll post tomorrow night. I will still have the Alice outtake to write this weekend too.