Castle turned around when he heard Beckett approaching. She did a little spin to show off her outfit. Castle pretended to look at her with a critical eye. It was hard to keep a straight face to see her in Alexis' 'Love Pink' sweatpants and her 'My Chemical Romance' t-shirt.
"Yeah, I really should have grabbed her SpongeBob t-shirt," Castle said lending his fashion expertise.
Kate just rolled her eyes, "Alexis doesn't have a SpongeBob t-shirt."
"Well, she used to." Castle said defensively.
Kate came up beside Castle as he stood at the stove. She put her arm around his waist and stood on tiptoe to give him a kiss. He turned his head to meet her lips. It was a quick good morning kiss, but wow, it was wonderful.
"Do you want toast? I could stick that in while you're cooking," Kate inquired. Castle nodded his approval. "Oh, and there's my coffee!" Kate exclaimed as she grabbed the mug off the breakfast bar. She took a deep whiff letting out a delicious little "ahhh" before she took a sip. "I can always count on you for coffee. Oh, the toast. I got distracted." Kate went back into the kitchen, found the bread, and stuck the slices in the toaster. Then she put her arms around Castle's waist and rested her head against his back for a few short seconds. Then she headed back for a stool at the bar.
"So what's for breakfast? I'm suddenly starving. Actually I don't think I ate anything yesterday except for a stale doughnut from the break room. Oh yeah and a few M&Ms. I really need to start eating better."
"We're having sausage and scrambled eggs. The choices were somewhat limited. I need to get to the store soon. OK, I'm just about ready to dish it up." Castle grabbed a couple of plates, put a couple of sausage patties on each plate, and then dished up the eggs. He grabbed the toast that just popped up and set the plates on the bar. "Butter or grape jelly?" He asked as he opened the refrigerator.
"Just butter," Kate replied. He returned with the butter and silverware and sat down next to her.
"Oh Castle, this is wonderful!"
"It's just scrambled eggs, Beckett." Castle had been watching her since she came out of the bedroom. She looked like the Kate Beckett he'd known for 4 years, but she wasn't acting anything like her. Her eyes were bright and she kept smiling. She just looked so…so happy. All of a sudden she had become a chatterbox and she was so animated when she talked. Plus she was talking faster than normal and her voice even seemed a little higher. It was weird. He never in his wildest dreams thought she would be the touchy-feely type either. She was hugging or kissing him whenever he was within arms length.
"But it's really good. This whole morning is just…," she looked up at the ceiling for inspiration, "I don't know, everything just feels so natural. Do you know what I mean?" Castle opened his mouth to reply but didn't get the chance. Kate turned toward him and grabbed his forearm. "I mean, you know, the morning after you have sex with someone for the first time can just be so awkward." Castle almost choked on his eggs. "Gosh, I know there have been times I wondered if the guy would even call me again and of course there were times that I didn't want him to call me. That's really awkward! With you though, it seems like everything is so normal. I guess it is too because we've done everything together before except the sex part. It's kind of strange – but really nice." She turned back to her breakfast.
Castle couldn't quit staring at her. Seriously, it was like the teenage clothing sent her into a time warp and made her act like a teenager again. Maybe he was still dreaming or maybe Kate was on some happy pills or maybe she'd been invaded by a body snatcher. He suddenly realized he had an opportunity to speak, "I think this morning is pretty great too." He said lamely as he smiled at her, stabbed some eggs, and shoveled them into his mouth.
Kate practically inhaled her breakfast. "Wow, Kate. Can I get you something else? You must still be hungry. There's more sausage or I could make more eggs."
"No, I really ate a lot. I'm good."
Castle quickly plowed through the rest of his breakfast. "I'll freshen up our coffee and we can sit over on the couch and you can tell me about yesterday." Kate nodded suddenly quiet. Castle filled up their mugs with more coffee and started to rinse their dishes and put them in the dishwasher.
"You know, I wish you could have heard Alexis' speech last night. She really agonized over what to write but what she came up with was really profound. It wasn't the usual fluffy little speech. She was just so grown up." Castle had stopped what he was doing staring at some memory of the previous night that only he could see.
"I know how proud you are of her," Kate said. She had always marveled at what a great father he was and how much he loved his daughter.
"You're right, I'm very proud of her." Castle quickly finished cleaning up.
Kate had already wandered over to the couch and was sunk down in it. Castle sat next to her. Kate was no longer smiling. Her eyes had clouded over as she thought about the events of the previous day. She set her coffee down and snuggled into Castle's side. He put his arm around her and held her close. "Whenever you're ready," he encouraged her softly.
Kate didn't want to look into his eyes and kept her head resting on his shoulder. She was ashamed of how she acted yesterday and she also didn't want to see his eyes when she told him about the fight.
"We figured out where Maddox lived." Her voice was back to normal. It was low and unhurried and emotionless. Castle realized it was probably just nervous energy that had caused her to chatter on in the kitchen earlier. There were so many emotions to try and sort through. "Espo and I were planning on going there and taking him down. Ryan wasn't on board with it. He tried to get us to take backup with us, but I said no."
Kate had taken Rick's hand in hers and was idly running her fingers over his hand, weaving her fingers into his, then brushing over his palm, not even realizing she was doing it just needing the contact with him. "We thought no one was there and started looking around. He came out of nowhere and took Esposito out with one blow. He's OK," she added quickly.
"Then he ran up to the roof and I followed him. He disarmed me with no trouble. We started fighting. I gave him everything I had, but he just smiled. I was like a child fighting an adult." She could feel how tense Castle's body had become. "He was just toying with me. Then he hit me and knocked me off the roof." Castle gasped and his grip tightened on her. "I was able to grab onto the ledge with my fingertips and he left me there to die." Beckett's voice was still emotionless but now tears had started trailing down her cheeks.
"I knew I couldn't hold on for very long. All I could think about was you telling me you loved me and I would never have the chance to say that to you. You opened up your heart to me and I just stomped on it. I just wanted another chance so I could make it right."
"Maddox had hurt my right arm and it didn't have much strength and soon I lost my grip. I swear I thought I heard you call my name and I called for you. Then my left hand slipped off the ledge and in that instant someone grabbed my arm and pulled me up. I thought it was you, but it was Ryan. He had gone to Gates and got us backup. Gates was standing right behind him." Kate stopped there. She could tell by Castle's shaky breathing that he was crying – or trying not to. She squeezed his hand.
"Kate, I'm so sorry. I should have been there for you." Castle's voice sounded so pained.
"No," Kate said softly. "You were right. If you had been there he might have killed you. Because you left me, it made me realize what I was giving up. I was the one in the wrong. I could have easily gotten Javi killed." She shook her head. "I was so wrong about everything and I just couldn't see it."
"I was so angry at you last night. You put no value on your life and my love meant nothing to you. It really hurt, but it hurt even more because I was so sure that someone would be calling me soon to tell me you'd been killed. I never could have gotten over that."
Kate sat up so she could look at him. "I can't tell you how sorry I am. Hanging off that ledge gave me a clarity that I've never had. Now when I think about my mom I know she would have been so mad at me for recklessly risking my life to get her killer. She would want me to live my life and she would want me to celebrate her life instead of blindly focusing on her death. And my dad. It would kill him to lose me to the same people that took his wife. And you. I know what it would have done to you if I'd died. Even after Ryan rescued me, I was afraid I had lost you for good. I would have deserved it too because I took you for granted and lied to you and hurt you. I don't understand what made you wait for me and then take me back after I rejected you. You're a saint Richard Castle."
Rick's eyes crinkled at the humor in that statement. "I think we both know I'm no saint, but I love you, Kate. You're worth waiting for." He pulled her close and kissed her. He kissed her reverently so glad that she had come back to him, alive and wanting him. As he pulled back, he knew he couldn't stop there. Her lips were too luscious. He kissed her again, then dropped kisses down her long neck. She shivered.
He looked into her eyes tenderly brushing the hair back from her face. "Last night I was like a sex starved teenager and I was so rough. I'm sorry, I know I had to have hurt you. Why didn't you tell me you were hurt?"
Kate laid her hand along the side of his face and gazed into his amazing blue eyes – so full of concern and guilt. She smiled, "The last thing I was thinking about last night was my bruises. I was a little too caught up in the moment. As you know, I was a little rough on you too and you have the marks to prove it. But if you'd like to make it up to me," she was using her sexy voice but couldn't help blushing a little, "I'm free now."
Castle's stomach did a little flip at the implied invitation. He smiled, a mischievous look in his eyes, "Why Kate Beckett, are propositioning me?"
"In your dreams, Writer-Boy." She stood up and started walking towards his office. She glanced back at him, "You coming, Castle? Maybe we can make your dreams come true."