Thank you for the reviews and to everyone following this story. I really appreciate it.
Castle wanted to pinch himself. The whole night and morning surely could have only happened in his dreams. For the second time in less than 24 hours, he was lying in bed with Kate Beckett after having sex with her. They were both lying on their backs. Castle wanted to pull her into his arms but she had groaned earlier when she had rolled on her side and he didn't want to hurt her.
This time Castle wasn't in a hurry. He wanted to take his time and explore her body. Find out where her hotspots were. His tongue and teeth slowly kissed, licked, and nibbled their way from her mouth to her ear and down her neck (her neck seemed to be particularly sensitive). He planted a gentle kiss on the scar between her breasts. Then he turned his attention to her beautiful breasts. Her breathing quickened even more. One hand grabbed at his hair, the other gripped his back. She was trying to maintain the presence of mind to not claw him again, but he was driving her wild. She finally pushed him off her, immediately climbed on top of him and planted hot kisses on his lips and along his jaw. She sat back up and pushed herself onto him and moved with a steady rhythm. Castle reached up to caress her breasts. Soon the intensity of sensations reached a new plateau. Kate threw her head back, closed her eyes and let out a moan. The rhythm of their hips steadily increased. Castle was already almost on the brink. Watching her reaction very nearly drove him over the edge, but he was trying to hold out for her. Judging by her breathing (panting?) she was almost there. She cried out just as Castle crested. Kate collapsed on his chest. She could feel his heart pounding. He put his arms around her and held her not wanting the moment to end. After a couple of minutes, Kate rolled off of him, lying on her back reaching out and taking his hand.
"That was amazing, Castle," Beckett breathed out.
"You were amazing, Kate." Castle rolled on his side and propped his head on his hand. His other hand reached over and his fingers caressed her cheek, along her jaw and brushed lightly over her lips. "I just can't believe you're here."
Kate took his hand and pressed it to her lips. "I don't know why I kept you waiting. What was I afraid of? Maybe that it was too good to be true. You know, Castle, I kind of get wrapped up in things and it's almost beyond my control – like my mother's case. I feel that way about you. That I could get so caught up in you that I could lose myself. Make myself more vulnerable than I want to be. You would have the ability to really hurt me and it's scary. This is really going to sound stupid, but you've become my best friend." Castle had a puzzled look in his eyes. That didn't sound stupid to him. He felt the same way. "Part of me was afraid that if we tried a relationship and it failed that I would lose my best friend." She smiled a small smile. "Neither one of us has a very good track record for relationships. I guess in a way I was willing to settle for just having you as a friend because I couldn't imagine not having you in my life at all." She looked into his eyes. Her eyes showed her determination. "I'm all in now, Castle. There's no going back and I don't intend to lose you because we're too hard headed to be honest and clear up our stupid misunderstandings."
Castle was stunned. Kate had never been so open and honest with him. It sounded like she was committed to making their relationship work. His love for her swelled even more. "Kate, don't be afraid of being vulnerable to me. I would never intentionally hurt you. I've loved you too much for far too long to do that. I've wanted to be more than friends, more than partners for a very long time. We can make this work." He leaned in and kissed her.
Suddenly the clock caught his eye. "We've got to get up. Alexis will be back soon. I want to talk to her about us before she finds out we're sleeping together. I'll go get your clothes out of the dryer."
They dressed quickly and went out to the lounge area. As they sat on the couch, Kate took Castle's hand. "I have more to tell you," she started. Castle stiffened slightly. He wasn't sure what was coming, but he assumed from her tone that it wasn't going to be happy news. "Like I said, Ryan got Gates involved so he could get us backup. She was absolutely livid that we went off on our own like that and she suspended both Espo and me. Castle, she said we weren't fit to wear the badge and I kind of lost it and resigned. I'm tired of not having a life of my own, a family of my own. My work was my life. My mother's case was my life. It's time I did something for me. I deserve to put myself first or," she shyly tilted her head downwards,"…or to put someone else first." She glanced back up at Castle looking through her eyelashes catching her bottom lip in her teeth waiting for his reaction.
Was she really saying she wanted to put him first? Did she quit because of him? Castle was really shocked that she had resigned. Had she really thought it out? He wasn't at all sure how he felt about it either. "Are you sure you really want to resign? You are a great detective. You are so good at figuring out the clues and reading people and understanding motives. You were always so compassionate with the victim's families." He smiled a little, "Not to mention you are so badass when you take down the bad guys in a really hot Nikki Heat kind of way. You just really seemed cut out for that job. What will you do if you're not a detective?"
Castle had some faint alarm bells going off in the back of his head. He kept thinking this was all too good to be true. Kate had a near death experience yesterday and now he finds out she also quit her job. Was he just a lifeline she was grabbing until she figured things out? He didn't think so based on her actions and what she had just said about being determined to make their relationship work, but Beckett was still often a mystery to him. Maybe in a couple of days or a couple of weeks she'll realize how impulsively she had acted and get her job back. Maybe if she quit because of him she will wind up resenting him for it and it will drive a wedge between them.
Here he was with the woman of his dreams professing her love to him – well, OK, she hadn't exactly professed her love, not in so many words – but he can't seem to accept it. He must really be damaged goods to have so many doubts. Despite his doubts, he was determined to do whatever he could to make this work.
Kate looked into his eyes. She thought she saw some worry there. She ran her hand through her hair. "I don't know what I'm going to do, Castle. Right now I don't have a clue. I don't want to think about it today."
"It's probably a little scary right now, but we…" Castle trailed off as he heard the door opening. He jumped up and walked toward the door as Alexis walked in.
"Hey, Pumpkin. How was your night?" Castle wrapped her in a hug.
"It was so much fun, but I'm pretty exhausted." Alexis did look pretty worn out but still seemed excited and happy. "Oh, hi, Detective Beckett, I didn't notice you sitting there."
Kate smiled at Alexis, "Congratulations, I heard you gave a great valedictorian speech."
"Thank you," Alexis blushed.
"Kate came by to discuss a case with me. How about I make lunch for all of us? I'm going to need to talk to Kate some more after lunch."
"That sounds great, Dad. I think I'll take a little nap after lunch. I was planning to spend the night with Whitney tonight, but if you want me to stay home I can." Alexis knew her dad was feeling bad about his little girl growing up and leaving home so she wanted to give him the opportunity to say no if he was feeling too sad.
"That's sweet of you to ask, but I think I can manage another night without you."
"Thanks, Dad," Alexis said giving him a quick hug then running up the stairs. "I'll be down in a few minutes."
"Wait, what do you want for lunch?" Castle yelled after her.
Alexis paused on the steps. "How about grilled ham and cheese sandwiches?"
"Your wish is my command," Castle replied giving her a little bow with an appropriate hand flourish.
Castle went to the kitchen. He got out the griddle and started putting the sandwiches together.
"Hey, Dad," Alexis yelled downstairs. "Have you seen my 'Love Pink' sweatpants?"
Castle's eyes went wide as he quickly looked over at Beckett. He turned back towards the stairs, "Uhh, they're probably in the dirty clothes, Pumpkin."
"OK, I'll grab something else." Alexis replied.
Castle looked over at Kate and mouthed, "Busted!" then grinned.