Shepard stretched out on the bed, smiling to himself. He rubbed his left wrist where it was still a little sore. He turned on his side, toward the sound of soft snoring, and curled up. He let his head rest on James' shoulder and closed his eyes again. He sighed as he both felt and heard the other's breathing change. "Didn't mean to wake you."

"S'ok, mi corazón. You okay?" James put his arm around Shepard.

"Yeah. No nightmares." Shepard smiled as he looked at James. "I think last night helped."

James chuckled and rubbed Shepard's back. "Sounds like it. You feeling okay?"

Shepard smirked at James. "Well, a little sore, but yeah, I'm feeling fine."

James nodded. "Good. I wondered if I'd pushed you too far."

Shepard shook his head. "No. I enjoyed it." He seemed a little surprised as he said that. "I really did enjoy it." He smiled and closed his eyes, trying to get a little closer.

James stayed silent for a moment, just enjoying the moment. Caleb back in his arms. Caleb remembering that it was him he loved and not Kaidan. He never would have believed it. Damned Esteban had been right. He sighed and looked down at Shepard. "Okay, your doctor is probably gonna kill me, but I'm going to answer any questions you have about the past. I'll answer them honestly and I'll be right here if you need support. Okay?" He felt Shepard nod, though the movement was so slight he almost didn't see it.

"I'm not sure I want to remember anything other than you, Jimmy." Shepard swallowed hard. "What if I did something so horrible that I don't want to remember it. Don't want to face it."

James stared up at the ceiling. He knew what Shepard's actions had cost them. The Geth. EDI. Hell, Caleb had somehow committed genocide while destroying the reapers. "It's up to you, mi corazón. Just remember that I am going to be here and I will always love you no matter what."

Shepard sighed softly and nodded. "That actually makes me feel better. You already know what I've forgotten and you're still here."

James nodded and rubbed Shepard's back. "Yeah. I do and I am."

Shepard sat up, pulling away from James. "Okay. So. That dream I had? A reaper on Rannoch? Real or just a dream?" He couldn't look at James.

James lightly caressed Shepard's cheek. "Real. You did that and I was pissed at you for it." His voice is soft, making it clear that he's no longer angry about the incident.

Shepard looked at James then. "Why did I do it?"

James sat up and knelt before Shepard. "Because if you hadn't, the geth would have destroyed all the Quarians. I hated that you did it. That you felt you were the only one who could have done it. I was terrified I was going to lose you."

Shepard just stared at James then closed his eyes. "I... I faced the reaper after. I think. I talked to it. It knew me. Harlequin. No. Harbinger. It mentioned Harbinger." He tensed suddenly. "Okay, that name scares the shit outta me and I don't know why."

James placed his hands on Shepard's shoulders. "Harbinger took an interest in humans, but you specifically."

Shepard leaned forward, resting his forehead on James' shoulder. "I made sure that reaper was nothing but scrap before we left Rannoch. Right? I think I painted it again after I talked to it."

James nodded. "Yeah, you did. Scariest thing I've ever witnessed and the bravest damned thing I think you ever did. I'm not sure I'd have been able to face down a reaper like that."

Shepard began to tremble a bit, then stopped, not even breathing until James thumped him on the back. "Legion!" He looked up at James, completely stunned. "A geth named Legion. I remember him."

James didn't smile. He only nodded. "Yeah. He gave up his existence to save the geth."

Shepard nodded. "I threatened the Quarian fleet. Told them if they didn't stop attacking I was just gonna stand by and watch." He shook his head, closing his eyes tightly. "They're all dead. The geth. Aren't they?" It wasn't a question.

James doesn't answer. He just rubbed Shepard's back for a moment. "Come on. Let's get something to eat." He got up, pulling on a pair of pants before heading to the kitchen.

Shepard didn't follow. He just curled up on the bed, staring off at nothing. "I let them die." He whispers to himself. "God help me, I let them all die."

Upon realising that Shepard wasn't behind him, James went back to the bedroom. He lay down behind Shepard and put his arm around him. "Want to talk about it?"

Shepard shook his head at first, then sighed. "I killed them."

James frowned. "What?"

Shepard turned around to look at James. "I chose to kill them, Jimmy." He closed his eyes tightly. "I let them die."

James rubbed Shepard's back. "You did what you had to. No one is gonna blame you. Okay?"

Shepard shook his head. "You don't understand. I did it for you." The words are barely whispered. "It was the only way I could have even a fighting chance of being with you again. I did it for you."

James stayed silent, not knowing how to take what Shepard just said. He opts for just being there, rubbing Shepard's back and letting his husband cry against his chest until he finally fell asleep.

Once he was certain Shepard was asleep, James got up and went to call Hackett. He was surprised when he was put through immediately and Hackett answered within seconds.

"Lieutenant, how is Shepard doing?" Hackett sounded truly concerned.

"Not so good, Admiral." James sighed. "He's remembering a lot, but he's messed up. He's convinced he's guilty of genocide."

Hackett nodded. "Hmm. In a way, he is, but no one is going to blame him for what he did. He destroyed the Reapers."

"Yeah, I know. He needs therapy but I can't take him to a city right now, not with all the destruction." James glanced off toward the bedroom when he heard a soft cry.

"I'll send one to you. She'll be there as long as it takes. I can't stress how important it is that Shepard is back in the field as soon as possible, Lieutenant." Hackett looked down, probably at a datapad to make the arrangements.

"That may not be possible, sir. Like I said, he's messed up." James looked back at Hackett. "I don't know if he's ever going to get over this."

"I have to believe that he will. We don't just need him. We need you as well. The N7 program decided that, with everything you helped accomplish, you've officially completed their training program. Congratulations, Lieutenant Commander Vega-Shepard, you're now an N7 soldier."

James didn't know what to say, so he stood straighter and saluted. "Thank you, sir."

Hackett nodded. "Take care of Shepard. I'll be there with the therapist soon." The communication was cut and James dropped his arm.

James hadn't expected to hear anything positive and it was hard for him to be happy that he'd somehow completed the training program and got a promotion all at once. He turned and went back to the bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed and just watched Shepard sleep.