Chapter Five

[Message Sent: 12:02]
How's the case going?-JW

[Message Received: 12:05]
Still nothing. I don't want to wait until he slips up.-SH

[Message Sent: 12:06]
If you think about it he already has.-JW

[Message Received: 12:09]
How so?-SH

[Message Sent: 12:11]
He made it clear this wasn't a onetime thing.-JW

[Message Received: 12:13]
I suppose that's something. Considering hacking Lestrade's Facebook.-SH

[Message Sent: 12:14]
He'll kill you.-JW

[Message Received: 12:16]
It's for a case.-SH

[Message Sent: 12:18]
Worth a try I suppose.-JW

[Message Received: 13:01]
Nothing.-SH

John sighed; Sherlock was going to be a pain by the time he got home. At the very least there'd be new bullet holes in the wall and the furniture would be reorganised ("But John the feng shui helps me think better this way") and at the very most… well, that wasn't something he really wanted to think about. The last time Sherlock couldn't solve a case he'd trashed the living room, bulk bought thirty packets of jammy dodgers from Costco (admittedly John was impressed Sherlock knew what a Costco was), attempted baking, drunk four shots of espresso, shot the wall and left the house to bother Molly at the lab. For a second John pitied her, but then again, she didn't have to live with the consulting five year old and put up with his tantrums daily. Of course, she didn't love him either but that was beside the point.

[Message Received: 13:10]
I'm coming to the surgery.-SH

[Message Sent: 13:11]
Don't you dare.-JW

[Message Received: 13:13]
But I'm bored. So so bored. Bored beyond belief. The amount of bored I feel is heavy enough to crush diamonds, end wars and blow up the moon.-SH

[Message Sent: 13:15]
Tough cheese 'Lock. If you come to the surgery and cause trouble Sarah will kill me.-JW

[Message Received: 13:16]
But I'm missing my other half.-SH

[Message Sent: 13:20]
*Better half.-JW

[Message Received: 13:23]
So you like to think.-SH

[Message Sent: 13:28]
So I know, for a genius with an abnormally large I.Q. you're making a lot of mistakes today.-JW

[Message Received: 13:30]
Say good bye to the jumper draw.-SH

[Message Sent: 13:32]
Do it and die.-JW

[Message Received: 13:34]
Calm down pumpkin I'm kidding.-SH

[Message Sent: 13:38]
Pumpkin?!-JW

[Message Received: 13:42]
Yes dear heart. I called you pumpkin.-SH

[Message Sent: 13:46]
Sherlock I thought we agreed that pet names were weird and we weren't going to do them.-JW

[Message Received: 13:50]
BORED.-SH

[Message Sent: 13:55]
Go piss off Lestrade or something.-JW
[Message Sent: 13:56]
In fact, ask your brother how his diet is going!-JW

[Message Received: 14:00]
That's just immature John.-SH

[Message Sent: 14:03]
You do it all the time when he comes over.-JW

[Message Received: 14:07]
He's my brother.-SH

[Message Sent: 14:15]
He kidnaps me.-JW

[Message Received: 14:18]
Touché.-SH
[Message Received: 14:19]
There's been another murder.-SH

Maybe the flat would survive another day, John could only hope. Of course, knowing Sherlock, he would've trashed it/ blown it up/ burnt it down half an hour after getting out of bed. At the very least a kitchen appliance would be broken. John simply prayed it wasn't the fridge. Body parts in the fridge was one thing, body parts at room temperature was another.

[Message Sent: 14:23]
If the flat is a tip when I get home I will not be a happy John. Also, have fun on your case. Spare the details untilafter I've eaten.-JW

[Message Received: 14:56]
Oh John it's brilliant, he's made it look like she hung herself but he clearly strangled her before. Although he's hand cuffed her hands together for some reason. He's done it after she died though, else she'd have cut herself while struggling to get away. And she's been left in this disused chemical factory. It's Christmas John I swear!-SH

[Message Sent: 14:59]
I'm glad someone's having fun. How does it help with the case?-JW

[Message Received: 15:04]
It doesn't yet but it will, she's bound to know the killer so it'll be easy to find him.-SH

[Message Sent: 15:08]
Well I'm glad someone is happy. I've got a ton of kids all needing their booster shots done. I've already been bitten twice.

[Message Received: 15:15]
You chose to become a GP, you could've been my assistant but no.-SH

[Message Sent: 15:18]
You're supposed to keep your work life and your private life separate.-JW

[Message Received: 15:22]
Which is, of course why you dated Sarah.-SH

[Message Sent: 15:26]
Piss off.-JW

[Message Received: 15:29]
Love you really John.-SH

[Message Sent: 15:34]
I'm all too aware of that. Now excuse me I have to subject myself to the tortures of giving yet another small child the chance to kick me in the balls.-JW

John turned his phone off and stepped out his office to call the next patient in watching as a small boy in a transformers t-shirt looked up from his violent game of smashing Lego brick structures up and trotted across the room towards his office. Perfect. Just perfect. Another small child who would not hesitate to bite his arm/ kick him where he really did not need to be kicked/ somehow do more damage his scarred shoulder. Either that or the child would pull on his shirt and reveal to his mother the giant love bite Sherlock had jokingly left on his shoulder a few nights ago ("No one will see it John, but I'll know it's there, you should be thankful I'm not leaving one on your earlobe!") and receive a disapproving look from the woman. Either way this was yet another appointment he was not looking forward too.

Fifteen minutes and a screaming fit from the small child later John emerged triumphant from his office with yet another small bite mark from the dangerously sharp teeth of a small boy temporarily visible on his arm. For some reason traipsing around after Sherlock in some dirty, cold, abandoned warehouse as he made snide comments at Anderson and Donovan about their "budding love affair," and making obscure deductions he appeared to just pluck out of thin air seemed pleasant for a second. Clearly prolonged exposure to small children (and possibly Sherlock) had sent John crazy. He sighed, looked at his watch and hoped that the final hour or so of work would pass quickly.

It didn't.