Lanie opened the door and squealed as she engulfed Kate in a hug. Kate grinned. Her shoulders relaxed. She was so relieved to be away from the loft. She really did love Castle but he couldn't be her whole life and she desperately needed a break. Lanie was just what the doctor ordered.

"Get in here," Lanie ordered. "You hungry? I made up some wraps for us to snack on and we are going to drink lots of wine until I know everything that is going on." Lanie had that 'take no prisoners' look on her face.

"I love your wraps! Here let me get the goblets. We going to eat off the coffee table?"

"Of course, we want to be good and comfy." Lanie grabbed the tray of wraps and the wine bottle and Kate followed her with the wine glasses. Kate chose the overstuffed chair that she loved to curl up in. Lanie settled on the tan chenille loveseat.

Kate decided to start since she knew she was going to be in the hot seat most of the night. "Have you talked to Javi?"

Lanie's eyes settled sadly on the floor for a moment. "No, he won't pick up or return my calls. Have you talked to him?" she asked hopefully.

Kate felt terrible. She should have called him, but she was too wrapped up in her own life. "No I'm sorry, Lanie. I haven't talked to him since we were suspended."

"You've got to tell me what's going on, Kate."

Kate took a couple of bites of the wrap trying to figure out where to start. "Mmm, these are great as usual, Lanie." She finally started talking about the case they had been working on. She explained Maddox's involvement and how her response divided and basically destroyed the team. She included the fight that caused Castle to walk out on her and ended with Ryan saving her as she hung off the side of a building.

Lanie listened wide eyed occasionally interjecting an exclamation but otherwise not interrupting. "Oh my God, Kate," was all Lanie could get out.

"Of course Gates was beyond mad and suspended Javi and me. We were both mad, but I quit. I need more Lanie. I need a life that consists of more than murders and people trying to kill me."

"But giving up your job? Are you sure you didn't overreact? Maybe you can still get it back."

"I don't know, Lanie. I was so sure at the time that I was through with it. Now I am having some second thoughts."

"OK, so Castle walked out on you for good and now suddenly you two are together and doing TV shows. I seem to be missing some huge puzzle pieces. Come on spill." Lanie said as feisty as ever.

"Well, after I nearly died I did a lot of soul searching. I realized that Castle was the only thing that really mattered. My mom's case, my job, none of that mattered any more. I went to see him that night. I told him how sorry I was and that I wanted him," Kate's mouth twisted as she tried to contain her smile, "and I convinced him to give us a chance." Her mind started replaying the 'convincing' she had done.

"Come on, I need some details!" Lanie demanded.

"Well, I spent the night with him. He has the most amazing…," she bit her lip as she paused for a second, "bed." Her eyes twinkled and she grinned at her friend.

Lanie rolled her eyes. "Come on girl were there fireworks? Give me something here." She said exasperated.

"There were definitely fireworks. He was amazing, Lanie. More talented in more ways than I could have imagined, but you're not getting details."

"OK, I don't need details," Lanie said scrunching up her face in a non-verbal 'ew'.

"Well, I guess I could tell you one thing," Kate said shyly.

Lanie looked at her expectantly, eyebrows lifted.

"He has a tattoo."

"No!" Lanie said as though she were savoring a tasty morsel. "Where? What is it?"

Kate couldn't contain her grin. "It's on his right hip." Kate lightly slapped the spot on her own body. "I don't know; it's some kind of design. He said Meredith talked him into it. I couldn't believe it!"

"I'm going to file that little tidbit away for future reference," Lanie said slyly.

They took a break to eat more of their wraps and drink more of the wine. Lanie related a story about a prank one of the ME assistants had pulled on Perlmutter. It was amazing how hilarious morgue humor could be.

Lanie narrowed her eyes at Kate. "You've gone through some pretty major life changes in just a couple of days. How are you really holding up? And what's with the TV appearances?"

Kate started nervously tearing at the remains of her wrap, her eyes studying her fingers as they worked. "Truthfully everything is a little overwhelming. We thought it was likely that I was still in danger and possibly he was too. We decided the publicity would show that we were no longer pursuing the case and maybe that would keep us safe. Castle doesn't want to let me out of his sight so I have been staying at the loft. It's starting to feel like a prison. I..I snapped at him today when he was trying to be affectionate." She hadn't looked Lanie in the eye once.

"Oh, Honey," Lanie said sympathetically. "Did you make up?"

"No," Kate said quietly still not able to look at Lanie. "I've been in the guest room all day."

Lanie got up and squatted in front of Kate. "There's something else isn't there?"

Kate chewed on her lower lip. Her eyes glistened, but she didn't want to cry. "I had a horrible nightmare, Lanie. It was so terrifying and so real."

"Tell me about it," Lanie encouraged.

Kate told Lanie about how her mind twisted the fight between her and Maddox making it even more terrifying. Then she told Lanie about how Castle refused to help her and she fell. Lanie gasped. "Oh Kate, that's horrible! You surely aren't mad at Rick for that are you? It's not like he would have really stood by and watched you fall. What did he say about it?"

Kate couldn't contain the tears that had been threatening. She sniffed, "I didn't tell him about it other than I was fighting with Maddox. I know it's ridiculous but I guess I do kind of blame him for it. The whole dream was so terrifying, but Castle refusing to help me broke my heart. It was so real and devastating."

Lanie got up and grabbed a box of Kleenex. Beckett gratefully accepted it. "You need to talk to Castle about it. Are you still seeing Dr. Burke?"

"No, since I quit I haven't checked to see if I can still see him."

"Do you love Castle? Do you want to make this work?"

Kate nodded emphatically. "I've never wanted anything more."

"Well if you're done mutilating that wrap, throw it away, finish your wine and get home so you can have some makeup sex."

Kate sat up smiling and wiped the tears off her cheeks. Nobody could put things into perspective like Lanie. "Is that doctor's orders?" she asked with the hint of a smile.

"You bet your booty it is. You be sure to tell Writer Boy about that dream too."

"OK," Kate replied pulling Lanie into a much needed hug. "Thanks, Lanie."

Kate stood in front of Rick's door. She was anxious to see him but nervous at the same time. It seemed a little strange to have to knock on the door after she had been living there for several days. It was only 9:45 so she knew Rick wouldn't be in bed. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Rick opened the door wide for her to enter. He gave her a cautious smile but was careful not to touch her. "Do you feel better?"

Kate was worrying her lower lip. "Can we talk?" she asked.

"Of course, Kate."

She took his hand and led him to the couch. She sat down and pulled him down next to her. She didn't let go of his hand. She looked in his eyes and saw a mixture of hope and worry. He was trying to keep his face blank just waiting for whatever Kate had to say. It had crossed his mind that she could have decided that this – them – wasn't what she wanted. He was trying not to hold his breath as he waited for her to say something.

"I'm so sorry about how I acted earlier. Everything just overwhelmed me and I really…I just need a little space once in a while. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I love you, Rick." She started tearing up. Her teeth grabbed her lower lip, "I love you so much."

Rick's eyes were watery, "I love you too Kate," he said with a catch in his voice. His hand started toward her but then he dropped it. "You scared me earlier. I was afraid you wanted to leave for good."

Kate suddenly realized that Rick was still sitting there stiffly wanting to hold her but afraid to touch her. God, she seemed to screw up everything. It wasn't going to be much of a relationship if he was afraid to touch her for fear of getting his head snapped off.

She reached her hand behind his neck and pulled him closer as she leaned in to kiss him. Their lips met delicately. Rick brought one hand up along her neck his thumb lightly stroking her soft cheek. He gently kissed her lower lip that she constantly mistreated, then pressed his lips against hers very gently and lovingly. Castle soon broke off their kiss. He hooked his arm under her legs and pulled her into his lap. One large hand cradled her head to his shoulder. His other arm wrapped protectively around her.

"I missed you today," he said quietly resting his cheek into her hair.

"I missed you too." Kate nuzzled into his neck and shoulder, breathing in his unique Castle scent, made up of his cologne mixed with a faint laundry smell and a hint of something totally his own. She loved being wrapped in his arms pressed against his warm, broad chest. She was a cop but she felt so safe in his arms.

Maybe their relationship would always be complicated, but moments like this made it all worthwhile. Kate sighed contentedly. She knew the makeup sex would be even better.