He grabbed her wrist. She twisted and kicked and hit him with her small fist. He laughed at her as she cried from the pain and terror.
Rick jerked awake after a fist caught his shoulder. Kate was mumbling something unintelligible. Her arms and legs were weakly flailing. It was obvious she was having a nightmare. "Kate," he called out. It sounded like she mumbled his name in response. "Kate," he said louder this time giving her shoulder a shake. She shot up to a sitting position, her eyes wide with terror as she gasped for air. Rick put a hand on her thigh. The other hand started rubbing her back.
"It's OK, Kate. You had a nightmare. Everything is going to be OK. I'm right here," Rick's voice was soothing. He continued to say whatever he could think of to calm her down trying to make his voice the lifeline to pull her back from the depths of her horrifying nightmare. Kate grabbed his forearm as if her life depended on it. As her ragged breathing evened out and her eyes lost their wild terror, Rick pulled her to his chest wrapping his arms around her.
Kate buried her face in his chest. She could feel his heart beating with a calming rhythm. She used it to slow her breathing. Her shoulders dropped as the tension left them. "I'm OK," she finally said.
Rick arranged a pillow behind him so he could lean back into the headboard. He settled back in a half reclining position bringing Kate with him. She snuggled into his side so that her head and arm rested on his chest. Her fingers idly played with his sparse chest hair.
"Was it the same dream?" Rick asked.
Kate nodded as she replied, "Yes. Maybe…maybe it would help if I talked about it."
"It might make it less terrifying to get it out in the open," Rick agreed.
Kate didn't really want to talk about it but she hoped that maybe it would help. "I told you all of the details of my fight with Maddox, but somehow in my dream I'm a child. I'm still trying to fight him but I'm just scared to death. When I'm hanging off the roof, you call my name and when I yell for you, you look over the edge at me. You refuse to help me and say I shouldn't have rejected you. Then I fall and that's when I wake up."
Castle had been soothingly rubbing her back but stopped abruptly when she said he refused to help her. "Kate, I don't know what to say. You know I would never do that."
"I know," Kate said, "but I think I was holding it against you yesterday. I know it's ridiculous, but it was just so real."
"Maybe if we analyze it, we can make some sense out of it." Castle offered. "I think you said your blows were as ineffective as a child's when you described fighting Maddox. So I can understand your brain making you a child in the dream. Of course you being a child makes it much scarier."
"So then why do I refuse to help you? Maybe subconsciously you are mad at me for walking out and not being there for you and that plays out as me letting you fall."
"Maybe," Kate said slowly thinking about the possibility.
"But I actually say that you shouldn't have rejected me." Castle's eyes were squinting as he thought about other possibilities. "Perhaps you feel guilty that you drove me away by rejecting my love and not giving up your mother's case. You punish yourself by having me reject you when you need me the most."
"You might be on to something there. I do feel guilty about driving you away. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve you after all I've put you through, so maybe I am trying to punish myself." Kate sat up so she could look at Rick. It was pretty dark so she couldn't really read his eyes but she could see his face. "I was struggling so much with you just letting me fall. I was seeing it as you letting me down when I really needed you. I don't know, maybe I was thinking it meant you would let me down in the future. It made me doubt you for no reason. I didn't think about the possibility that I was punishing myself. I feel better already knowing that there are other plausible explanations for my dream. Thank you, Rick. You always have my back." Kate was smiling. She brushed Rick's hair back from his forehead.
"Always," Rick replied pulling her back down into his arms.
They arrived early at Rockefeller Center. The sky was an amazing sapphire blue interrupted by a few puffs of white and ghost trails where jets had once streaked across the sky. Kate tilted her face up to soak in the warmth of the sun before she had to go inside. The gentle breeze ruffled her hair. Castle caught her arm and stopped to look at her. He didn't think she had ever looked more beautiful. Her hair shimmered with golden highlights as it cascaded around her shoulders. He let his fingers comb through the soft, loose curls, catching them behind her ear. She gazed at him with warmth and happiness. There was a lightness to her that he never saw when she was on the job. He smiled and leaned in to kiss her lightly, lovingly. He beamed at her then took her hand and led her inside.
Jimmy Fallon wanted them to come in extra early so he could go over his plans for their segment. The producer met them and ushered them into studio 6b. "Jimmy's already on the stage going over a few things." He got them to the stage door then gestured for them to go on out.
Jimmy was strumming on a guitar working on a song with the Roots. He stopped the song with a wave of his hand when something didn't sound right. One of the band members nodded in Castle's direction. Jimmy's face lit up when he turned and saw Rick and he strode toward them with a huge grin. "Rick Asshole," he said running the words together extending his hand.
Rick narrowed his eyes at Jimmy but a smile played across his lips. "Haha," Rick said taking Jimmy's hand and pulling him in for a bro hug.
"Oh, did I mispronounce your name?" Jimmy asked innocently.
"Close enough," replied Rick. "Jimmy, I'd like you to meet Kate Beckett. Be nice to her. She can kill you without leaving a trace."
Jimmy shook her hand, "It's wonderful to have you here."
"Thanks, I can hardly believe I'm here. This studio is huge." Kate was a little overwhelmed. She looked over at Jimmy's desk and the chairs that she and Castle would be occupying a little later. She looked out at all the empty seats that would soon be filled with a rowdy audience. It was scary. She slipped her hand into Castle's trying to steal some of his strength and confidence.
"It is. It's my home away from home." Jimmy couldn't quit smiling. He quickly introduced them to the Roots then turned back to them. "We need to go over our little act, but would you like to join Nancy and me for dinner later?" Jimmy's eyes darted between the 2 of them.
"Kate keeps track of our social calendar," Rick said looking to Kate to decide his eyebrows raised expectantly.
"That sounds great," Kate said graciously knowing Rick would want to catch up with his old friend. "We have nothing planned for this evening."
"Wonderful," Jimmy said. "I'll text Nancy later to get us some reservations somewhere."
"OK, let's get down to business," Jimmy said clapping his hands together. "I wasn't sure what to do with you guys, but Tuesday night I sat down and wrote a song about Nikki Heat. It's got 3 verses so I figured we could each have a solo as we take a verse then we'll all sing together for the chorus."
Rick couldn't believe it. He was hoping for an easy game of beer pong so Kate wouldn't freak out. He could already see the tension in her body. Her face was studiously frozen in a blank expression, but she had a death grip on his hand and Rick noticed that her breathing had sped up. Jimmy had picked up his guitar and was running through the song for them.
Kate turned to Rick. "Rick!" she whispered through clenched teeth. Her eyes were filled with accusation and fright.
Rick eyes widened a little to express his innocence as he whispered, "I didn't know."
"So what do you think?" Jimmy asked enthusiastically wrapping up the song.
Rick took a hold of Kate's upper arm. "Jimmy could we just have a minute?"
Jimmy's gaze darted nervously between the two picking up on the undercurrent. "Oh, uh, sure. I just need to check on something back stage." He quickly took off across the stage.
"I…" Jimmy was gone before Castle could get any further.
Castle looked down at Kate. "I didn't mean for him to leave. I just thought we'd step away."
Castle put his hands on Kate's upper arms. "Kate, you've been wonderful about everything. I think this appearance is important for us, but there's no reason that you have to do any more than the interview. You have a great voice. I've heard you sing, but if you don't want to do the song you don't have to." He smiled his warm smile and lightly rubbed her arms. "You know I'll love you no matter what and Jimmy is like a puppy dog. He just wants to please everyone."
Kate's eyes were watery. She couldn't believe how understanding he was. "I don't want to let you guys down. I mean Jimmy wrote a special song and everything, but I'm terrified of singing in front of an audience."
"Hey, you don't need to worry about letting anyone down. Jimmy and I are perfectly capable of making fools of ourselves without any help. You want to just watch us?"
Kate nodded as the tension drained from her body. "Thank you, Rick," she said reaching up to give him a quick kiss.
When they turned around they saw Jimmy standing at the stage door talking to someone. He quickly joined them. "Is everything OK?
"Fine," they said simultaneously. They exchanged a look and both smiled. Rick nodded, "Everything is fine but Kate would rather sit out the song and just do the interview."
"OK, no problem," Jimmy said affably. "Kate, why don't you take a seat by the desk and you can watch us. OK, Rick, cue cards are off to your right there. I'll sing the 1st verse, you take the 2nd, and we'll both sing the 3rd. This song is really cheesy. I thought we could dance around like a couple of dorky white guys as we sing."
"Ah, type casting," Rick smirked. "I'll follow your lead."
Jimmy sang his verse while Rick spasmed around doing the dorky white guy dance. Kate was cracking up. Rick may not have been John Travolta but he always did fine on the dance floor. Singing the chorus allowed them to synchronize their horrible dance. Somehow they were managing to keep just off the beat. Rick stepped forward and sang his verse but he was cracking up at the words and Jimmy's dance moves. Jimmy started giggling uncontrollably. They were both so adorkable.
"Kate, come on over and sing the last verse," Jimmy gasped through his laughter. "We won't make you sing on the show, but this is too much fun for you to miss!" Jimmy eagerly motioned for her to join them.
Kate paused for just a second then decided to join them. They were definitely having too much fun without her. Kate's verse had been written for Nikki to sing. It was slightly suggestive having Nikki promising to restrain you and having many ways to make you talk. Kate was getting into it, singing with a sultry voice and brushing a hand through her hair while running the other one down the side of her body. Castle swallowed hard. She was so hot! The Roots applauded and whistled as she finished. Kate blushed but she was grinning.
"Oh My God, Kate! You are so amazing," Jimmy exclaimed. "You know what would be so funny? If you sang your verse all sexy like that then started dancing stupid like us in the chorus. Let's try that.
Nikki Heat, Nikki Heat
She'll shoot you in the head
'til you wish that you were dead
Nikki Heat, Nikki Heat
Kate quickly picked up the 'dance' steps they had come up with. In spite of their laughing they managed to get through it.
"What do you say, Kate, do you want to do it on the show? You're really great. I thought maybe you couldn't sing or something when you didn't want to do it."
Kate caught her lower lip between her teeth and looked at Castle. It was tremendous fun but she wasn't sure she could do it in front of an audience.
Castle grinned at her, "It's totally up to you but you really were great."
"OK, I'll do it!" There were high fives all around. They ran through it one more time. It was as refined as it was going to get.
"I've got some other things I need to do before I go to makeup. Thanks for coming in early and I'll see you later at showtime." With that Jimmy was gone.