With A Broken Soul
"If you live in a past dream, you don't enjoy what is happening right now because you will always wish it to be different than it is. There is no time to miss anyone or anything because you are alive. Not enjoying what is happening right now is living in the past and being only half alive. This leads to self-pity, suffering and tears." ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
Previous Chapter
-"Thank you" He blurted, turning his head quickly to hide his face. It shocked me, but the shock quickly left and was replaced with gratefulness. "For what Sasuke?" I ask, staring at him with a small smile lingering on my features.
"For saving my life."
My eye's widened in shock, my mouth slightly agape. Since when did Sasuke care? Since when did he thank? Why did he know and accept the fact that I saved him? My mind was spinning making it hard for my eyes to focus on one thing. My eyes started to wander around the room rapidly and erratically before he spoke again, quickly getting off topic.
"Who is that woman?" My eyes fall on to his, still slightly confused. "U-umm, who?" I curse myself for stuttering. I shouldn't be so vulnerable.
"The blonde haired one, the one who was just in here." What am I supposed to say? I can't tell him the truth… "Oh, um, I don't know. She's just a friend of the hokage's" It's not like I'm lying. "Stop with the bullshit Sakura, you know her, quite obviously. She carried you to your house last night, how did she know where you lived? And why do you call her shishou?"
Oh well fuck. I need to avoid this, I need to get out of this situation, but he's cornered me. I can't exactly get out of bed, and yelling for a nurse would be too suspicious. Maybe I can place a genjutsu? No… That wouldn't work. I can't control genjutsu as well as I could in my future body. Plus the memory about the advanced genjutsu that can get passed the sharingan is slightly fuzzy. I sigh, resorting to my last resort.
"I can't tell you Sasuke… Maybe one day, but this is for the best. I know you may not like this, but not knowing will protect you. I need to protect you and Naruto. I don't want to see you guys get hurt, especially because of me." This earned a hard glare from the Uchiha. He was obviously not happy and if he had the curse mark, it would probably threaten to take over. I sigh, my eyes drooping as I lay my head back onto the pillow, looking up at the white white white ceiling. "We can protect ourselves Sakura. We aren't weak." Sasuke growled out.
I glare at the ceiling, but do not answer him as I roll over onto my side. My eyes downcast as I think about my future, why I'm here, everything that rests on my shoulders. I let another sigh out. "Please leave Sasuke. I'll see you tomorrow at the training fields." He lets out a low growl before I hear the creak of the door open and close. I let my eyes close letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding before I allowed the darkness to overtake me once more.
I walk down the streets, through the market area. My eyes wander onto the Yamanka Flower Shop. My mind debates with itself, but before I can make a decision, Ino comes outside of the shop with her two teammates, heading right in my direction. I take in a deep breath before facing them, ready to take the brunt of it.
"Thank you" I stumble slightly as I look at Ino, my eyes wide. What is with everyone lately? "F-for what?" I stutter out, yet again cursing myself. "You healed me when you didn't have to, and you didn't hold back when fighting me." Her eyes softened with remorse in her eyes. I let out a sigh before a giggle escapes my lips, earning an odd stare from the three ninja. "I'm sorry; I thought you were going to yell at me. And honestly Ino, I didn't want to fight you, I had so many arguments with myself on that field. I was within a hairline of forfeiting. I just want to be friends again Ino." I look up at the three, now baffled ninja. The guys both look at Ino, questioning stares lingering over her.
"Wow" The guys both put their heads down in exasperation, both thinking that was all she would say. Though, me knowing her better, I knew she just didn't actually know what to say. I knew she wanted this as bad as I did; it was more like getting a Christmas present that you really wanted but never asked for and never thought you would get. Speechless.
"Oh my god Sakura. I don't… Of course!" She jumps on me giving me a big hug. I can feel the wet salty tears fall onto my shoulder as she squeezed me tight. I let my hand on her back, rubbing slightly before pushing her away slightly, our eyes looking into each other's. "Want to go shopping?" This made her eye's brighten, the happy tears now drying before a giggle escaped her lips. "Wow, you know me so well." She spoke before she grabbed my arm and dragged me off, leaving her two teammates behind.
I smile as I lie down in the field where my team usually trains. I decided against going to the bridge because I knew if I was there or not, they would still come over here to train, not questioning my disappearance. I let myself to think over the most recent events, causing the smile to return to my lips. I finally got to bond again with Ino. We had gone to get lunch and with that we had been talking about everything that had happened to us. We had gone shopping a little and I had bought some different ninja gear and more supplies as I had been running on a short supply. A sigh escaped my lips as I felt the three familiar chakras of my team coming to the ground. Before they reach the area, I question myself on why I even came to the area. In the end, my mind concludes that it's because this training ground was relaxing. Even in the future, if I was having a good or bad day, I would come here and I would be in a state of bliss and happiness. Every time I came here I remembered good times, never the bad.
I sit up, grabbing a book out from my small bag. Since I've read every medical book and taijutsu book probably known to man, I began reading up on some ninjutsu books and scrolls. Maybe I could learn some knew techniques. Since the demon inside me is unsealed, I now have the ability to use and even master every element. Since my main is earth and I have already mastered that mostly, I decided I would work on that last.
As I began to read, my team entered the grounds, not noticing me at first until I flipped to the next page. All three turned around to look at me, surprised and probably scared. Once I reach the end of the paragraph I was reading, I looked up at them. I let a fake smile cross my lips before I let a "go train" roll off my lips in a slight mumble. When I said that, their bodies stiffened, scared that I'm probably mad at them. I sigh before I fold the page down, crossing one leg over another before I look up at them. "I already knew a long time ago that you guys wouldn't even question it if I did not show up, since it's not like Kakashi trains or teaches me anything anyways. The only reason I am here is because I had already said that I would be here, right Sasuke?" This causes the other two to look at Sasuke, who just grunted before turning his head away from me.
"Now that you guys know that I am here and have been here, I will be going. I have way more important things to do and learn. Enjoy yourselves." With that I exited the clearing, not paying attention to whatever Kakashi was going to answer back with. After finding a better and quiet training spot, I sense what is going on over with my team. It seems that Kakashi was yelling at Sasuke for something before Naruto yelled at Kakashi for something as well. I let another sigh escape my lips, before I grab the book I was reading out of my bag to search for a beginner water technique. Water should be the easiest for me to learn, plus I knew that when I advanced in it I could learn forbidden jutsu's including blood. I knew of one that would pull the blood out of the pours of my enemy allowing the blood to be a substitute for water, I could use any water Jutsu I wanted as long as there was enough blood for my disposal.
I put the book down and got into my fighting position, repeating the hand signs in my head over and over again until I felt ready to actually try it out. It wasn't long before I was able to pull water from the ground and the air. A large water dragon formed, as I controlled where it was going and how it was moving. One down, so many more to go.
I grumbled to myself as I refused to train with my team. I have been sitting on the side lines for 3 hours now and they are still going at it. I glare at Kakashi. Though, before I can think of bag things to say about him, something rings through my head.
You are at as much fault as he is.
My eyes downcast as I think about Sakura. I allow a frown to openly display itself across my features. This. Fucking. Sucks. Why am I such a horrible person? Why can't I do anything right? I haven't been treating her good enough, and I haven't even talked to her for 2 days. Stupid me didn't even go visit her in the hospital but fucking Teme did. Stupid stupid stupid. I'm not even hungry anymore.
I stand up, causing my sensei and Teme to look at me. I ignore their stares as I exit the training grounds, searching for our pink haired teammate that deserves so much better than us. A tear escapes my eyes as I dash off, looking for her untraceable chakra. If only I was good at sensing separate chakras. My eyes downcast yet again before I look up in determination. I need to find her and apologize.
It should take days or weeks to learn a new technique, especially one that is of an element that you haven't practiced or mastered. Though, for me, I can master a technique within a day. I can actually master about 5 techniques per day if I tried hard enough. Which today, I had done just that. The monster inside of me had woken up today, giving me pointers and making sure I do not overwork myself. Thankfully today I had no need for her extra chakra, as I had been observant and practical today. There was no need to be hospitalized just because I trained too hard.
I jog down the bustling streets, doing my daily run as I needed to work up my body endurance and my leg strength. As I turn a corner I ran into someone, flipping over the person and landing on my back I let out a low growl before I turn over to check who it was. Once I see who it was I let out a loud raspy laugh. Her hair was strewn across her face, her arms and legs open as bags of flowers lie next to her. Before I could apologize she beats me to the punch.
"GOD DAMN IT SAKURA!" Ino then jumps up and tackles me so to prevent me from getting up. I laugh again as she gets even more dirt on herself and her clothes. My laugh confusing her she stops and looks at herself before she lets out an ear-piercing scream. This causing me to laugh even harder, forming tears in my eyes. Though, this wasn't even the best part. No more than 2 seconds later, an orange blur runs around the corner I had just come from, and tripped over Ino as well, also flipping over and landing next to me. Before she could yell again I place a hand over her mouth, trying to keep my giggles in.
"Let me heal your bruises." I choke out between rough breaths. I had laughed so much that I had lost my breath. I hadn't checked the man who had fallen next to me yet and I decided that he could wait as I healed my best friends' bruises. After I was done, I had almost forgotten about the other poor fellow who had hit Ino until I heard a pained "Sakura-chan" escape his lips.
Turning around in shock, I let another howl of laughter cross me. Today was just too funny and it was getting hard to handle. I clutch my stomach as I crawl over to him, flipping him on to his stomach and healing his cut and bruised back. I help him up after I am done and look at him, now confused on why he isn't still training. "What happened?" I question, my eyes filled with worry.
"I'm sorry, Sakura-chan" he blurts out, making me panic slightly. What happened?
Naruto had noticed my worry causing him to shake his arms and head before saying, "Oh! No! Nothing is wrong! Sorry to worry you. No I was just coming to say sorry because I've been really rude and mean the past few days! Oh, I'm so sorry Sakura-chan!"
My eyes soften and my body relaxes before I let a smile cross my features. "It's okay Naruto. But, couldn't this have waited after training?" This earns a sigh from him, which surprised me. I give him a questioning stare, wanting some answers.
"Before I answer that, I also wanted to say sorry for not visiting you in the hospital. I didn't know what to do when I found out you had gone to the hospital and I was scared and confused. But I'm happy you're okay. And I didn't even train today. It was only Sasuke and Kakashi because I refused to train if Kakashi wouldn't train you either. That's why I noticed how much of a dick I had been and I'm so sorry for what I had done." Baffled by how he was able to say that so quickly, I wasn't able to answer for a minute, having to take it all in. Once I comprehend what was said, I let a real smile escape me. Naruto was always the sweetest person, and I swear if it wasn't for him I'd probably wouldn't have made it as far as I did in the future.
"It's all okay Naruto. Hey, how about we all go get some ramen, eh?" I smile, also nodding towards Ino who grumbled something about being dirty. "OF COURSE!" With that Naruto put his fist in the air while he jumped a few times. I laughed before I told Ino to get her team to come too. Taking Naruto's arm, I told Ino we would meet her there.
"Hey hey hey, why weren't we invited" This caused me to swivel around in my chair to find Kiba, Hinata, and Shino walking through the flaps of the Ramen Shop. "Shut up dog for brains" Ino yelled before throwing a chopstick at the poor boy. "Hey Ino, be nice. I like Hinata, so they can stay" I let a wink go towards Hinata before I continued "Hey Hinata, why don't you sit next to Naruto?" This caused the young heiress to blush wildly before shyly taking a seat next to my teammate/brother.
The shop had gotten loud as the groups conversed about their lives and current events. Happiness. This strange feeling, this foreign feeling. I need to get used to it still, I need to get those ugly pictures of the war out of my head. I shouldn't dwell in the 'past', because the future seems so bright. I let a content sigh escape my lips before I order another order of ramen. Maybe I'll go get some dango afterwards, who knows. I do need to confront Itachi sooner or later, and I feel like sooner is better than later.
"Dobe, why did you run off like that" There goes my mood. I turn my head to see my sensei and the Uchiha looking through the opening into the shop. I know the Uchiha isn't upset about Naruto leaving, but I feel like with all the chaos recently, he just wants someone to answer something. Naruto lets out a growl before apologizing to Hinata and saying he'll be right back, stepping out of the shop to go confront the rest of the team.
This little conflict causes everyone to look at me, wanting answers. I let out a soft giggle before I just shake my head. "Anyone up for fireworks tonight?" I ask, letting one eye to close as my other one lazily scans my friends. Even though there is a variety of personality's throughout the group, it was quite clear that every one of them wanted and probably needed to relax, and fireworks seemed to be a good way to get the stress off of their shoulders.
"Then let's get going!"
So sorry for the long wait, but for the wait, I decided to treat you guys to a thousand words longer on this chapter! Anyways, I can't promise you that the next update will be soon as if you didn't check my profile yet, you would see that I have other ideas for stories floating around my head. Please check it out though and let me know what idea you think is good and what idea I should write. I also forgot to add that I kind of want Dean and Sam Whinchester from Supernatural to make an appearance in the apocalyptic story. As well as Castiel (CASTIEL IS THE BEST!). Please review and tell me what you think.
OH P.S., I need a beta reader. I just read back on the other chapters and even though my mistakes aren't a large, there are some things that I just want to face palm at. I don't really read over the chapters before I post them as it seems too tedious and I never notice the mistakes anyways. Sooo~ Anyone up for it? Message me! :D