True Love Is...
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
"True love is a promise kept."
Pairing: SasoSaku
Comments: Dedicated to Stefanie92J and SingsWithWords for relentlessly putting up with my SasoSaku feels. Originally posted for SasoSaku month.
It was never supposed to be this way.
He left and took a piece of her heart with him. That was the end of it. She was done grasping at vapor, only to watch it float through her fingers and dissolve in the morning light. He was like mist, she thought ironically—caressing her skin with dewdrop kisses, but never really there. Never solid, never hers. But Sasori would never abide such an analogy, wedded as he was to eternity and beauty and other such fanciful notions so lost on Sakura when all she'd ever really wanted was him.
I brought this upon myself.
She'd known what she was getting herself into when she got involved with a missing nin. And now, Sasori was god knows where doing god knows what with only a parting, "Wait for me" as consolation. Sakura sighed and ran a hand through pink tangles as she remembered that moment, the way his eyes lingered on her just a moment longer than was necessary, the quiet strain in his tone he probably didn't want her to hear. Did he realize how selfish such a request was?
Yes, the bastard, Sakura thought bitterly.
But Sakura was patient. She had to be when it came to him, for all his impatience. They were a walking contradiction, the pair of them. He wanted forever, yet he couldn't even give her five minutes before dashing off to take care of unfinished business he'd put off for too long.
A crashing sound jolted Sakura out of her reverie, and she quickly made her way to her bedroom, the only one in the small cabin. Worried, she pushed through the door, tired green eyes darting left and right in search of her target.
A splintered heap of painted wood sat unceremoniously on the floor, the remains of a chair Sakura had brought with her from her parents' home back in Konoha. Hovering over the mess stood a small girl child looking like a deer caught in the headlights—innocent until proven guilty. Sakura crossed her arms and put on her best Disappointed Doctor face.
"Chisaki, I know what you did," Sakura said, looking down over her nose at the three-year-old.
Chisaki blinked dark green eyes up at her mother and frowned. For a moment, Sakura felt her No Excuses pretense chip away. She looked so much like him when she made that face. Unfortunately, Chisaki picked up on her mother's hesitation and beamed.
"Smash!"
Sakura looked between her daughter and the newest victim of her perfect chakra control. She hadn't really considered the full extent of the consequences when she decided to capitalize on her daughter's rapidly developing aptitude for ninjutsu. "I see that. What did Mommy say about destroying the furniture?"
Chisaki's expression faltered, sensing she was in trouble now. She hung her head a bit, bright red bangs shielding her face from view. "I'm sowy."
Sakura knelt down before the girl and ruffled her hair. "We only smash when it's training time, okay? You know that."
Chisaki nodded, and Sakura felt her resolve wavering. Thinking of Sasori always dampened her spirits, and the last thing she wanted to do now was spread her mood to her daughter. Smiling, she said, "How about we smash the trees outside? Does that sound like fun?"
Chisaki immediately brightened. "Yeah!"
"What do you say?" Sakura said, raising her eyebrows expectantly.
"Peese," Chisaki appended.
Sakura laughed. "Okay. Go get your coat."
The pair trudged outside into the snow shortly after. Despite the foot-and-a-half layer of snow, Chisaki was undeterred. With a level of concentration lost on most three-year-olds, she concentrated her chakra just as Sakura had been showing her and let loose upon an unsuspecting Aspen. The silver tree quaked and shuddered before snapping in two. Sakura nodded her approval, then picked up the felled tree and proceeded to swing it like a baseball bat, kicking up snow. Chisaki squealed as she was sprayed with snow and ice, eventually pulling herself on top of the snow with chakra to outrun the onslaught. Laughter filled the still forest, and Sakura felt any thoughts of loneliness slowly and surely ebb away with setting sun.
He'd crossed a continent to get here.
After a while, he stopped counting his steps through sticky swamps and verdant forests, barely noticing the landscape giving way to harsh, wintry mountains. His debt was paid in full with interest for old wrongs and past grudges.
And for the sheer personal enjoyment of it.
The Aspen trees shuddered with his passing, silver spirits that watched him through weeping eyes in their bark, following him. Tonight, under the cloak of darkness with only the light of the moon tracking his shadow, he would return to make good on the only promise he'd ever made in his life.
The small cabin was just as he'd left it, isolated and free from prying eyes. He paused only to eye the choppy snow that covered the front yard. It appeared as though a herd of wild mountain boars had torn through here on a rampage. A smirk tugged at Sasori's lips at the thought that he wasn't really too far off knowing the true cause of the destruction.
Silent as a wraith, he dismantled the lock on the front door and let himself inside. Darkness greeted him, but a glow around the corner alerted him to a fire blazing in the hearth. Quietly, he shrugged off his woolen travel wear and slipped out of his snow boots. A chill penetrated his underclothing, but once he came upon the living area the fire's heat was more than enough to stave off the cold. Honey eyes surveyed the area, searching for changes to the place he remembered from years ago.
A maroon blanket sat folded over the back of the only sofa in the room, and Sasori moved to pick it up. Slowly, he lifted the material to his face and inhaled. His eyes drifted shut as senses dulled by the interminable passage of time sparked to life with the memory of her scent. Sasori had never been a patient man. It would not do to waste another minute when what he wanted most was so close.
A creak in the floorboards made him react out of instinct, and he lashed out with his chakra strings at the source of the disturbance. A gasping sound filled the room, and under the soft glow of the fire he saw her. Honey met green in a show of shock he rarely displayed.
"Who are you?"
The small, high pitched voice cut through the quiet of the room and snapped Sasori out of his momentary tenseness. He took in her too-small frame, the shock of red hair, and wide green eyes. She stared back at him with only cursory interest, more concerned with why her little body couldn't move under the weight of his chakra strings.
Has it been so long...
Carefully, so as not to alarm her, Sasori knelt down and pulled her closer, one cautious step at a time. The little girl's eyes widened, and she looked about to cry out.
"Don't be afraid," Sasori said, cringing inwardly at his frigid tone.
"I dunno you," she said.
He could tell she wanted to call for her mother, but refrained. He knew that look, he realized. The stubborn crease between her eyebrows, the slightly protruding lower lip and set of her jaw...
"I'm stuck," she said before he had a chance to answer.
A sharp breath escaped him then. He'd seen every kind of reaction imaginable to his manipulation, but never one such as this. Slowly, so she could see him do it, he detached his strings from her and withdrew them. As expected, innocent eyes watched the translucent strings with a degree of awe only a child can possess. For a moment, he let himself wonder if, in another lifetime, he'd ever been able to grasp that feeling as she could.
"Do you want to know how?" he whispered, careful to remove the usual bite in his tone.
At this, she lit up like Christmas morning. "Yeah!" After a moment of hesitation she added, "Peese?"
Sasori took a moment to look at her. The last time he'd seen her, she was too small even to open her eyes. But it was enough to know she existed somewhere, waiting for him. Sasori hated keeping people waiting, but she didn't even know him. And yet, looking at her now, he wondered how he ever could have considered turning Sakura into a puppet all those years ago.
"Watch carefully," he said, showing her his hands.
One by one, he went through the requisite hand seals for the puppet technique. She squinted at his long fingers, bending with practiced ease. When he'd performed the series twice, he let his hands fall. "Try it."
Suddenly very serious with a new project to complete, she tried to twist her fingers into complex shapes. She misplaced her pinky on the final symbol, and Sasori reached for her hand to correct it.
"Like this," he instructed, guiding her finger into the correct position.
She's so small.
A part of him felt like he was looking down at himself interacting with the daughter whose name he didn't even know. Everything he'd suffered through, even in those times when he thought for sure he wouldn't make it out with his life... What had gotten him to this point? She was just a child...
"Like this?" she said, holding up the final symbol for him to inspect.
"Perfect," he said, reaching out a hand to touch her short red hair before he could stop himself.
"Oh my god."
He hadn't anticipated the physical reaction he would feel upon hearing that voice after all this time. A chill crept up his spine and he clenched his jaw involuntarily. This was the moment he'd been dreading and desiring for so long. It was the first time he was coming into a situation with absolutely no idea what to expect. Masking the questions with his usual blank look, Sasori rose and turned away from the little girl.
"Sakura."
She looked like she'd seen a ghost. Sasori just stood there, unable to look away from the sight of her after so long. His throat felt constricted for want of the right words to say. After so long without the need to indulge emotions other than black hatred, he felt exposed under her stare.
"Sasori," she rasped.
For a moment he couldn't breathe, suspended in time and space as she stepped toward him. Somewhere in the back of his mind he registered unintelligible speech from his daughter—their daughter—but he couldn't concentrate on anything but the woman approaching him—
"Umph!"
Pain erupted in Sasori's abdomen, and he was forced to stumble back a few steps. The world spun and he could have sworn he was seeing stars. Wheezing for air, he tried to calm the convulsing in his stomach in the aftermath of her beating. With much effort, honey eyes cracked open and fought to see through the pain. Tears fell down her face as anger gave way to unimaginable relief. The next thing he knew, she was clutching him to her and sobbing on his shoulder.
Sasori coughed from the pain of her assault, but she only pulled him closer. As the initial shock and pain wore off, he picked up on the fact that Sakura was hugging him. She was everywhere, her scent heady and all-consuming, her hair soft against his cheek. Tentatively, as though afraid she might break away from him the way she did in all his dreams over the past few years, he raised shaking arms to her waist. His grip was unsure and gentle at first, but when she made no move to loosen the death grip she had on his neck, he finally indulged the desire he'd been denied all these years.
"Damn you," he heard her whisper against the skin of his neck. "Damn you to hell."
A hand found its way to her hair, and he reveled in the softness. Even after nearly three years and the stress that must come with raising a child, she hadn't changed at all. And as always, where words escaped him, touch conveyed the message loud and clear.
This, he thought.
But he would never apologize for leaving. They both knew it had to be done, and it was a long time coming. It wasn't until this moment that Sasori realized how long he'd gone with only Deidara for company. It wasn't enough.
"Mommy?"
Sakura fisted Sasori's shirt, and he tightened his grip on her waist, a silent warning. She pulled away regardless. It seemed she still wasn't afraid to put them on hold for something more pressing.
"Chisaki," she said, wiping her tears with the back of a hand. "It's okay, come here."
Chisaki.
She hesitated in approaching, and Sasori wondered if she was afraid of him after all. He wouldn't blame the girl, but how could she know anything about him? How could she know what he'd done? How he'd almost let himself kill Sakura all those years ago? How Sakura had succeeded in killing him once before? He suddenly felt very uncomfortable being near this innocent child.
Sakura gave him a strange look, sensing the sudden change in his demeanor. She gave his hand a tug. "This is...Sasori," she said gently.
Chisaki studied Sasori as though he were a very interesting rock specimen. The moment of scrutiny ended and she smiled. "Hi Sasowee."
A moment of silence descended in which Sasori reflected that he'd never heard anyone mispronounce his name in such a ridiculous manner. When Sakura began to laugh, he felt his shoulders relax and his previous discomfort fade into the background a bit.
"Yeah, Sasowee," Sakura confirmed.
For the first time in years, Sasori did not mind the idea of a joke at his expense.
Sakura watched Sasori and Chisaki over the rim of her mug of hot chocolate. They were seated in the middle of the living room floor surrounded by Chisaki's stuffed animals and dolls, but this was not playtime.
"Release a steady stream of your chakra," Sasori instructed. "The technique only requires a little power, but it has to be precisely controlled."
Sakura wondered if she should tell Sasori to speak more simply with the girl, but the look of supreme focus on their daughter's face made her bite her tongue. Just when it looked like she might lose her concentration, the technique succeeded. Thin, blue chakra threads flowed from Chisaki's stubby fingers like so many tiny rivers. Wide green eyes marvelled at the sight, and Sakura found herself wondering if Sasori had ever looked like this when he was her age, before the cruelty of the shinobi world caught up to him.
"Look!" Chisaki said excitedly.
Sasori did not look impressed. "Now direct it to this...purple penguin," he said, holding the plushie by two fingers as though afraid of catching a disease.
Sakura watched as her little girl latched onto the stuffed toy and caused it to hover with only the use of her chakra.
"Haha, he's dancing! Look!"
The penguin wobbled to and fro in the air, guided by Chisaki's chakra strings in what could have passed for a crude dance. Sakura leaned her face on an open palm and watched Sasori carefully for a reaction. She knew very well what he thought about puppetry being an art form similar to dance.
"Very good," he said softly, the beginnings of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Now make it spin."
Sakura sipped her drink, content to watch them. Sasori had explained the dark details of his absence to her into the wee hours of the morning last night once she'd gotten Chisaki back into bed. It had taken longer than expected and the combined efforts of both Sasori and Deidara, but they'd managed to track down the ever elusive Orochimaru and eliminate him and his surviving supporters. With the old snake Sannin finally just a bad memory, Sasuke wouldn't have to look over his shoulder anymore. Sasori had his closure. And of course, Sakura could finally feel some measure of security for her young daughter.
Our daughter.
He was unsure how to act around her. It was easy enough for Sakura to tell, knowing him as well as she did even after such a long separation. He'd left before they could even name the girl, delaying his departure just long enough to rest assured that Sakura made it through the delivery safely. It had been hard without him, even impossible at times. But they'd managed, and Sakura had kept her promise to wait for his return or confirmation of his death. And Sasori, for his part, kept his promise to return to them.
He'd never been the type to make promises for as long as she'd known him. It was what had nearly driven them apart a number of times in the past, but the fact that he was here now told her more than words could ever say.
"Umph!"
Sakura immediately shot out of her chair at the sight of Sasori sprawled out on his back and clutching his abused abdomen. Shocked green eyes found her daughter, who retracted her fist just then. Sasori coughed, eyes squeezed shut as he tried to will the pain to subside. Sakura was about to yell at their daughter when the most unexpected thing happened.
Chisaki flung herself at Sasori and threw her short arms around his neck.
"Chisaki," Sakura said, immediately appearing next to the pair.
"I win!"
Sasori sucked in a labored breath and opened his eyes. Sakura held his gaze for a moment, but it was apparent that Chisaki wasn't going to let go. Sasori raised his free hand up, hesitated a moment, then awkwardly rested it on his daughter's back. Sakura suddenly felt the urge to cry.
"I see...you have your mother's brute strength," Sasori wheezed.
"I think you deserved that one though," Sakura said, wiping her eyes.
Sasori smirked and moved his hand up to twirl a lock of Chisaki's hair. The little girl pulled back and smiled brightly.
"Sasowee," she said.
"You can call him 'Daddy'," Sakura said, placing a hand on the girl's head.
Chisaki frowned at her mother briefly before turning back to Sasori. "Daddy Sasowee?"
Never in all the years she'd known him, in all that they'd been through, had Sakura ever seen Akasuna no Sasori blush.
"I'm..."
Chisaki was oblivious to his discomfort. Instead she pulled away to retrieve the discarded penguin plushie to try the puppet technique again now that she was done imitating Sakura's outburst from the previous night.
"Hey," Sakura said, putting a hand on Sasori's shoulder. "Are you okay?"
The blush was gone, replaced by his trademark stony facade. In spite of this, his eyes remained trained on the small child molding chakra a few feet away. Sakura suddenly grew serious as she studied this man that had somehow become so precious to her. She knew what he was doing; he'd tried it with her too. But she didn't stand for it then, and she wasn't about to stand for it now.
"Sasori," she said, directing him to look at her with a gentle hand. "You're her father. Nothing can change that. I won't let it."
"Sakura, I don't..." His eyes adopted a faraway look as memories, no doubt ones of his own ruptured childhood, clouded his mind.
"Stop," she said, shaking her head. "You're here. You kept your promise to me." She turned to steal a glance at their daughter, who was giggling as she attempted to dance along with her newly animated stuffed animal. "To her. That will always be enough."
Once, the first time she'd told him that she loved him just before he left her, he looked a bit like a lost child who'd just seen the sun for the first time after years of darkness. It broke her heart and mended it all at the same time, then and now. Without thinking, Sakura pressed a soft kiss to his mouth, hoping that he would believe the sincerity of her words.
When she pulled away, he instinctively sought to follow her and prolong the contact, but the injury Chisaki had given him earlier prevented much movement. He hissed, and Sakura smirked.
"Here," she said, pressing a glowing green hand to his abdomen.
The sounds of the crackling fire and Chisaki swinging her little puppet around filled the small cabin. Sasori watched his daughter with quiet pride. She would be strong one day, just like her mother.
"Sakura."
"Hm?" She looked up to catch him staring at their daughter.
"I want you to teach her everything you know about medical ninjutsu."
Sakura finished her healing and gave him her full attention.
"I want..." He seemed to struggle with the right words. "I want her to be able to heal, not just hurt."
Not like me.
"Okay," Sakura said, turning to watch Chisaki getting the hang of the puppet technique. "I promise."