I would like to thank my betas: ddielle, ana0625 and Captain Eliza Rae for helping me with this story. This chapter is short, probably one of the shortest chapters that I have. The next chapter will be longer, I think, so it would compensate for this one. I just wanted to focus on Narcissa a wee bit more. Enjoy reading! Reviews are highly appreciated!
Chapter 2 - Captured Moments
Narcissa's mind went into overdrive, pondering Severus' words. She thought and thought, explored the recesses of her mind. Her head hurt from the effort but still she had not reached a solution.
Narcissa was an intelligent witch. She was certain of that truth about herself. She believed that she was the embodiment of a female Slytherin ― regal and cunning ― so she did not understand how Severus could find a solution other than what she thought of. She could not comprehend his solution; even after his hint and verbalization, it seemed to flee from her grasp.
She was at the point of near surrender. It was only at that moment that she realized the impossibility of saving her son. The Dark Lord desired what he wanted with such wildness that whatever got in his way would, without a doubt, suffer. She considered the idea of offering herself, but she knew that her life wasn't enough to appease the Dark Lord's lust for cruelty. Once again, her panic started to awaken and tears threatened to fall from her eyes. She paused and took a few deep breaths. She needed to be strong. She could not allow herself to be overcome by her weakness because her defeat would mean the death of her son.
Narcissa needed to find strength and she knew that she would find it with Draco. She wanted to go back to Draco's room and wrap him in her motherly love. She wanted to look at him while he slept; to adore the boy that she cherished with all her life. But she couldn't. She worried that all the emotions that she has tried so hard to contain would burst from her being. She feared that instead of finding strength, her weakness would catch up with her and finally steal what little chance she had left of saving her son.
She must be reminded of the good in her life. She longed for the years when the Dark Lord was absent. She yearned for those days of almost freedom, when she thought that the Dark Lord was gone eternally and her family would never be again ensnared in his hands.
Photographs. She thought of photographs. She realized that she could find the strength that she was seeking for in those images. They captured the years that she held dearly to her heart. They were the perfect reminder. The motions and movements in the photographs still made them seem real, when in reality, those captured moments were already lost, forever.
Slowly, she found her way to the room where they were being kept. She touched the silver handles and opened the large wooden doors with the Malfoy crest embossed intricately, boasting the letter M that was done in ornate white gold. The candles that were housed by the luxuriant chandelier bore light upon Narcissa's entry, sensing its master. Even after living in the Manor for so many years, it still awed her, completely especially those places that she did not frequent often. For a little while, the beauty made her forget. For a moment, she was freed from the fear that imprisoned her.
The sudden glow illuminated the photographs and portraits that Narcissa desired to see. She looked at them lovingly and grazed her fingers against the glass that housed her prized captured moments. Seeing the memories outside of her mind made her dwell in an alternate world, a reality that would never exist anymore; a beautiful existence that was under the illusion that it was already and forevermore liberated from the Dark Lord. She roamed around the room, not missing a single one and lingering on those that she held on to most dearly.
The memories pained her as much as they elated her. It hurt to see what Draco had been and to be reminded of what they had made him become. Oh, what would she not give to take away the fear that was caged in his eyes, to give him a sense of safety and to give back all that the presence of the Dark Lord in their lives had taken.
She wandered in the world of photographs and she let herself be lost in it. She took to her heart all the beautiful memories she had with her family. She let her eyes linger on every single one. She relived each moment. Once again, she felt the incomparable joy when she first held her little blond boy. She was drowned in the love that she experienced when she looked into those little grey eyes. She saw the proud look of Lucius and his exhilaration upon seeing his son.
"How can life be so cruel?" She whispered to herself. They were not the best people but they were not the worst. She thought that nobody deserved to feel the pain of losing a son, no matter how horrid that person was. She was angry. Furious at the world for letting her commit the mistakes that she made, leading her to the place that she was in. She did not understand. She may not be the nicest person but she was never cruel. Besides, she was raised to be cold, to not show her true feelings. But she had never been greedy. She shared her wealth, gave to charities and supported worthy causes. She blamed Lucius for dragging her and Draco into the condemned actuality they were enduring.
The paradise that she lived in for a couple of minutes vanished. She felt like she had been Side-Along Apparated without her consent, like she was rudely awoken from a beautiful dream. "How can life be so cruel?" she yelled. She grasped the nearest thing she could reach and threw it on the floor. The frame made a loud crashing sound as the shattered pieces of glass fell on the ground. Her eyes followed the destruction that she made and she gasped when she realized what she had broken. With tears flowing from her eyes, she ran to the damage on the floor and held it tightly with her bare hands. The shards of glass cut her porcelain skin, leaving drops of scarlet, tainting a remembrance of her past.
"No, no, no," She cried as she tried to wipe away the blood that flowed to the photograph. Her action just damaged the picture more, leaving a trail of crimson over Draco's grey eyes and pale face. One by one, she removed the pieces of glass that once protected her portrait with her son. Blood surged from her wounds but she was too overwhelmed to notice the pain. Once it was free from the glass, she held it tightly.
The photographs gave her strength but they also unleashed her weaknesses. Guilt threatened to take over. Narcissa blamed herself, for Lucius did not know better. He was too blind, she thought. She thought it was enough to have Dumbledore killed. How could she let it escape her thoughts that the Dark Lord did not know mercy?
Her dread escaped her mind and fought her body. Narcissa walked slowly, still clinging on the photograph as if her son's life depended on it, and searched for the nearest chair. She needed to rest her body to help placate her mind. Narcissa was afraid that she was going to pass out and that upon her awakening, would not have a son anymore.
Narcissa's panic helped her reach the chair that her body so needed. Slowly, she sat, grasped its handle with her left hand and put the picture on the chair. She closed her eyes while fighting fatigue. She took a deep breath and opened them once again and saw a covered rectangular object beside her chair. Gently, she reached for the cloth that concealed what she wished to see.
When Narcissa saw the portrait, her eyes widened and hope filled her heart. Realization dawned on her and tears were falling freely from her eyes. She was thankful. She was not certain if it would work or what would happen, but at that moment, a glimmer of hope was enough. She closed her eyes gratefully, while reprieve fought off the uncertainty.
"Narcissa."
The sudden company shocked her and her eyes were suddenly wide open. She searched for the man that the voice belonged to. She found the eyes that she sought and motioned for the man to come over.
"I realized that maybe you are too distraught to find the solution that I was referring to and -" Severus explained but his eyes followed Narcissa's line of sight and realization hit him.
She caressed the portrait and looked at Severus. She allowed herself a small smile.
"I gather that you now understand." Severus turned his back from the woman. He was relieved that somehow, Draco was going to escape the fate that Lily had met. If anybody saw his eyes, a little glimmer of happiness could be seen.
"Severus," Narcissa called after him. "Are you certain that the Dark Lord will murder my boy?"
"He will have him killed, yes. If not, he will suffer a fate worse than death."
"Why? He spared Lucius and all those that have failed during the mission in the Ministry. He even aided them to escape from Azkaban." Narcissa wished for Severus and her sister to be wrong. Hope filled her voice.
"Lucius, although a failure, is not a weakling. Your son, in his hesitancy to kill Dumbledore branded himself inadequate in the Dark Lord's eyes. He does not have any tolerance whatsoever for useless brats."
"But…" Narcissa was yet again at the verge of tears.
"But despair not. There is a way. Always." Severus was unsmiling but one could see the optimism in his eyes.
Severus turned his back. When he was a few steps away, Narcissa whispered, "Thank you."
Once again, Severus left her but the hopelessness that had filled the room was gone. There was a mutual feeling of ease as they parted. He was grateful, probably even more thankful than Narcissa. His actions had caused Lily's demise but now his propositions could mean Draco's salvation. Draco may not matter to him as much as Lily had, but he was glad that this time he was able to save a life instead of risk it. He rejoiced that he could bring happiness to a family instead of despair; relieved that instead of ripping a family apart, he could help in bringing one together.
As Severus left, comfort enveloped Narcissa. She celebrated the fact that all hope was not lost, that there was a way to save her son from the fate that the Dark Lord had set upon him. The chance, no matter how meager, to save Draco from death, consoled her.
Narcissa did not find total solace because she knew that in the end, she was bound to lose her son either to the Dark Lord or through her actions. As much as parting ways with Draco pained her to the core, she knew that separation through her actions was better compared to Draco dying and being robbed of the chance to survive a life entirely different than the one he was raised to live.
The thought of Draco's death chilled her body, like icy water being poured over her being. Her mind was awake and her heart was beating fast. In that moment, she was more certain than she ever was. She was to lose her son and through that, she could give him a new life. Her torment was still there and she knew that it would never leave, but she knew that the pain would be worth it. Draco would experience another dawn, maybe different from all the sunrises that he had known all his life, but a sunrise nonetheless. She knew that Draco would experience the daybreak in another place, in another world. She could almost feel the wretchedness that will cripple her and damage her beyond repair, but every single sacrifice, every single tear that she shed, would mean another day for her boy. Narcissa knew what to do, but knowing, even being certain, did not alleviate her suffering.
Anticipating her separation with her son, Narcissa gave in to her desire to hold him. Slowly and quietly, she entered the room where she left Draco. She made sure that her beloved boy was already asleep. Spending the night with her son was a luxury that she allowed herself to have. Soon, Lucius and she will not have an heir anymore. The clock was ticking and the sun threatened to rise, robbing Narcissa of precious moments with him. She wanted to withdraw from the world and shut everything down. She wanted to immerse herself in that moment, seeing the peace in Draco's face. She held him tight, wishing for the danger to go away. But she knew that she had lost and she would be giving him up. The front that she fought so hard to maintain broke. Her whole body quavered as silent tears fell from her eyes.