A/N – third installment, time for the good stuff. I might finish it here, depending on what folks think, it was just a little something that crept into my head that really wanted to be written after I was listening to a version of the song this fic is named after whilst making Christmas biscuits and feeling cheerful. Anyway, hope you enjoy.
Nb – my amusing other half challenged me to fit the word 'exaltation' into this story, y'know, for the hark the herald angels ….. imho I'm far happier worshipping Olivia Benson than any other deity!
Same disclaimers that they're not mine!
Alex's mood lightened the second Olivia pulled her to the floor to sit beside her in front of their makeshift Christmas tree, grabbing a blanket and a couple of cushions from the seat as she did so.
"You go first." She said, taking a flat, neatly wrapped parcel off the table and handing it to the blonde.
Alex grinned, giving it a gleeful squeeze. "What is it?" She asked, not expecting to get an answer. She unwrapped the ribbon tied lovingly around and pulled off the paper to reveal two tickets to a play she'd been trying to get Olivia to go and see with her since it opened about a month ago, but the detective had been pulling funny faces and generally acting disinterested in the hopes she could put Alex off until Christmas. "Thanks Liv!"
She leant across the space between them and placed a light kiss upon Olivia's cheek, her eyes fluttering shut as she pulled away.
Liv sighed, smiling, recalling last year when Alex got super excited about one particular present and ended up in her lap, hugging her.
"Now your turn." Alex stated, looking over the two parcels with Olivia's name on beside their 'tree'. Her hand flitted between the two, unable to decide which one to give to the detective first.
Olivia laughed as Alex handed her the rectangular wrapped parcel, somewhat reluctantly. "You're sure now?" She checked, lightly mocking her.
Alex nodded, worriedly biting her bottom lip.
Liv tore into the paper gingerly, holding in her lap a slightly battered and well-loved copy of Nabokov's 'Lolita', unsure of how to react to such a gift.
"It was one of the first things you ever said to me …" Alex whispered, as Olivia caressed the delicate binding of the first edition book in her hands, able to appreciate – if nothing else – that it must have cost Alex a fair bit. "I said … 'how exactly does an English professor's daughter wind up becoming a sex crimes detective?' … and you gave me this acerbic look and said … 'haven't you ever read Lolita?' …"
Liv smirked, chuckling as she recalled the conversation as if it were yesterday; the way she'd nit-picked and pounced upon every statement that came out of the young blonde attorney's mouth. Alex seemed so prim and proper back then, quite up-herself and very, very green. Whereas she, on the other hand, considered herself wholesome, worldly and wise – despite being just a few years older.
She'd made Alex work for it, that's for sure. Yet here they were, with Alex remembering something flippant she'd said during one of their very first conversations, when thoughts of friendship were furthest from her mind. Thinking back, she'd done everything in her power to make the blonde feel stupid and small when she was around her – because she knew that if she didn't, there was a strong chance the young woman would get firmly under her skin and stay there. Which of course is exactly what happened in the end anyway.
"I can't believe you remember that." Liv said quietly. She reached for Alex's hand and squeezed it.
"I remember everything … where you're concerned." Alex replied, her voice thick and heavy as it had been intermittently throughout the last couple of days. Liv recognised it now as the strangled sound of someone with something to say. "Open it …" She whispered.
Liv opened the front cover of the book, expecting to find that Alex would have written inside on the dedication page, as she had in a number of ordinary books she'd given the brunette as gifts over the years. That simple recollection derailed her for a moment as she acknowledged they were some of her most precious gifts because of the sentimentality they carried within.
Alex had a flair for the romantic, but not so much that she would risk devaluing a rare classic by writing in it, so instead she'd slipped a simple note inside the front cover. It read, 'Olivia, I wanted to wait until the right time, Merry Christmas, with love – Alex x.' Behind the note was a receipt to a rare bookstore in Albany, dated September 2000.
Olivia picked it up and stared at it. "Alex?"
Alex moved to kneel in front of the baffled detective. "I remember everything …" She stressed. She leant her hands upon Olivia's knees as she sat crossed-legged with the book in her lap. "It's like you've been the most significant part of my life since … then …" She indicated the date on the receipt. "Only without actually being …"
Her voice tailed off as Liv's hand came up to trace the softness of the blonde's cheek. "I want you to open your other gift." Liv requested, understanding there was more to be said.
"But?" Alex suddenly felt that she wouldn't be brave enough, that she should take the moment and make the leap before retreating to her comfort zone of the past.
"Please …" Olivia asked, "just open it?"
She passed Alex the smallest of their combined gifts, edging closer, the book still clutched in her lap. Alex felt the intimacy, and her fingers trembled as she began to unwrap it, revealing a small black jewelry box with a purple velvet trim. Her eyes shot to Liv's, knowing the box appeared fancier than anything the detective had ever bought her before.
"Just open it …" Olivia appeased her.
Alex did just that; gingerly lifting out a simple gold chain with a large central tiffany cut diamond, flanked by several smaller ones. She frowned sternly at the detective, holding it across her palm to get a better look. "You cannot afford this Liv."
Liv set the book down and wriggled into Alex's space, looping her arm beneath the blonde's, she slid her finger beneath the diamond necklace and held it up. "I know …" She replied. "And I didn't … it's made out of the diamond from your mother's engagement ring."
Alex felt tears suddenly spring to her eyes and she shut them, remembering the first Christmas they spent together when she returned to SVU. She'd spoken with sadness and regret at missing her mother's passing while her life was on hold in Wisconsin, then showed Olivia the remains of the beautiful engagement ring they'd cut from her mother's hand when she was sick and dying. She recalled Olivia suggesting to get it re-set, then wear it, but she hadn't wanted to – since clunky, flashy, diamond rings were never really her style.
"Liv, it's beautiful …" A single tear rolled down her cheek and Olivia caught it with her lips, hoping to convey everything she struggled so hard to say when they were around each other. Alex leant against her, their hands jointly holding the piece of delicate jewelry. All of a sudden she began to sob real tears, abandoning the necklace as she turned and wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck, crying softly.
"Oh Alex …" Olivia soothed her with small comforting circles across her upper back, assuming that the blonde was overcome with emotion at thinking about her deceased mother.
"I miss you …" Alex whimpered. Her voice lost against Olivia's shoulder. Liv tried to pull her back to properly listen but the blonde wouldn't budge. "When I'm not with you … I miss you …" She ran on, the words keen to escape once she'd started. "It's like I imagine not being able to be with you anymore and all of a sudden … I feel lost …"
Liv listened to the tearful admission, hearing Alex speak about them she realised it was true; she relied upon the fact that Alex would always be there for her, they were each other's plus one, they spent the holidays enjoying each other's company, were each other's comfort if one of them was sad, and they rarely asked for time apart knowing that if they did – they'd wind up regretting it.
She used her strength to pry Alex away from her body, forcing her to look at her. "Alex, sweetie, I'm right here …" As if looking for some way to further cement their connection she added, "I'll always be … right … here."
Alex stopped crying and started listening. "Really?"
Liv nodded, "Yeah …" She blushed slightly as she began her own admission. "When you mentioned you were thinking of going away for the holidays … all I could think about was how much I'd miss you and …" She paused, wondering if this last admission would be a step too far.
"What Liv?" Alex nuzzled against the brunette's cheek, softly pushing her nose into the hair behind Olivia's ear. "Tell me …"
Liv sighed, her mouth hanging open. "And how sad I'd be to not be able to watch you open your presents, and give you the gifts I'd put so much thought and time into planning. It never occurred to me that you might not be with me." She added, revealing the bare truth about their relationship.
Alex cradled the necklace between her fingertips. "I love it." She handed it to Olivia, turning around so that her back was to the detective. She lifted the hair away from her neck. "Put it on me Liv …?"
Olivia slipped it round her neck, letting her hands rest upon Alex's shoulders once she was done. She leant forwards and placed a delicate, light kiss upon the attorney's bare skin, pulling away just in time to see Alex turn back around to face her with hooded, lust filled eyes.
"Liv …?"
Olivia merely nodded, as Alex crashed against her seconds later, their lips meeting as Alex crawled forwards along the floor, needing to be closer to the detective's warm body. Liv groaned as she felt Alex's tongue plunge into her mouth, pouring forth years of pent up love and frustration into that one single kiss.
They broke apart, gasping, quickly searching each others eyes to look for any hint of regret or revulsion. Finding none, Alex pushed Liv back against the wall, assaulting her lips as her hands went to work un-tucking the detectives top from inside her shorts.
"Alex … Alex …" Liv smiled at the attorney's fervor. "Alex … wonderful as this is, do you think we could get up off the floor?"
Alex laughed heartily, realising that a few seconds longer and she'd have more than likely had Olivia supine on the floor, her shirt off over her head. "I'm sorry," She chuckled, "It's just I've waited so long to do that I couldn't really bring myself to stop …"
She allowed Olivia to help her up off the floor, coming face to face with detective's sultry gaze.
"You don't have to …" Liv growled, wrapping her arms around the blonde as she began walking them slowly back towards the bed. "Just, if we're gonna do this," She paused, "After all this time … let's make sure we do it properly."
Liv placed her down upon the bed, so reverently that Alex almost cried it was that memorable a moment. She felt the brunette settle her weight on top of her, relishing the way their lines and curves fit together as if made only for that singular purpose. A gentle sigh escaped Olivia's lips as she began exploring Alex's revealed skin with cautious kisses and playful nips, taking far too long for the impatient blonde who squirmed beneath her, desperate for everything.
"Liv … please …" Alex whimpered beneath her, it made her pull back, studying the blonde's face as it was crumpled with need.
"Aaaalex …" Olivia's sing song voice teased her as she hovered above, holding herself away. "Relax …" She instructed. "I'd really like for this to last long enough for us both to remember it … forever."
Alex felt tears spring to her eyes at Liv's words, she turned her head to the side, swearing that she wouldn't cry. She realised then that her hurry was in part to ensure that she wouldn't collapse beneath the enormity of what they were about to do.
Luckily Olivia knew her better than she knew herself, so she understood just that. She sat back, her legs knelt either side of Alex's hips as she began to remove her own shirt before encouraging Alex to sit forwards so she could do the same. Beneath it, Alex wore a blue and white spotted bikini top, and Olivia's heart lurched inside her chest when the blonde simply stayed there, waiting, silently giving her permission to take it all off. She didn't stop until Alex lay beneath her on the bed, wearing only her matching bikini bottoms.
"Yours too?" Alex begged.
Liv slid off her Capri shorts and moved her hands to her back, planning to take off her bra until Alex's hands covered her own, asking to be the one to do it. Alex sat up in the middle of the bed, Olivia facing her in her lap as she began exploring the detectives golden skin and shapely curves.
"God Liv …" Alex's voice was thick with need and arousal as she brought her hands up to cup full breasts, running her thumb across pebbled peaks. She watched as the detective threw her head back in exaltation, exposing the taut muscles of her neck for further study with the blonde's tongue. "I love the way you taste …" Alex moaned, suddenly overcome by the thought that she might get to taste the brunette in other places as well.
Olivia had similar thoughts, pushing Alex back against the bed she began making her way down the blonde's body, sucking and lashing her tongue around both breasts, marveling at the way when she pulled one into her mouth Alex's back arched off the bed. She felt the blonde's hands tousled into her tangled hair, damp from the rain, silently urging her to proceed to where she needed her most. She watched Alex with her eyes, the way she chewed her bottom lip in anxious anticipation, feet pummeling the bed sheets that were gathered around their ankles.
"Oh … um …" Alex cried out as Liv's tongue dipped into her belly button, before traveling back up her abdomen towards the valley between her breasts, she closed her eyes, afraid that if she looked she might lose her mind.
Liv made it her mission to thoroughly devour the attorney, leaving no patch of skin untouched. When she reached the frilly edge of Alex's bikini bottoms, she stalled, inhaling deep into her lungs the scent of the blonde's arousal.
"God Alex …" She slid them down, revealing short blonde curls, glistening with moisture. Her mouth filled to equal measure at the sight, desperate to taste and bury herself deep inside. She felt an overwhelming sense of need to watch Alex as she came undone, knowing that no one, ever, would get to be the one doing that to her again beyond that moment.
Alex felt Liv hesitate, and looked down, catching a look of contemplation on the brunette's face. "Liv … what is it?"
Liv sloped her way back up long pale limbs, settling her weight fully on Alex's chest. "You're it for me," She whispered, "You know that right?"
Alex nodded, her eyes filled with tears such that she found it impossible to speak.
"I mean it …" Liv stressed. She kissed Alex hard, her tongue probing, exploring the younger woman's mouth deeply at first and then lazily, their tongues simply stroking each other in a way that would become well practiced over the years. She knew then that she wanted to be kissing her, the first time she made Alex come.
Alex moaned as Olivia entered her, two fingers filling her with slow and steady thrusts, she lay still at first, adjusting to the overwhelming sensation of Liv's hand touching her, within her, bringing her close to release.
"More …" She whimpered, "Harder … please … so …"
Liv could feel that she was close already, her body far too wired from the prelude to their intimate dance. Her own orgasm wasn't far off either, but she was far too engrossed in Alex's pleasure to have noticed.
Alex's hips began to put up a counter rhythm, her breath heavy against Liv's cheek. She sought out the brunette's lips, biting so hard on Olivia's bottom lip that the brunette thought she might have drawn blood except that she couldn't taste it. She added her thumb, rubbing in intermittent strokes against Alex clit, not knowing that what would happen next left red welts across her upper back as Alex screamed out loud before swearing explicitly and then calling Olivia's name as she rode out her orgasm, long and hard against the brunette's hand.
Liv collapsed on top of her, legs falling either side of Alex's right thigh as she continued to twitch with the aftershocks of such an intense orgasm. The subtle movements enough to send Olivia over the edge herself, she grunted into the nape of Alex's neck as her body shook, with a smaller but no less intense orgasm.
Alex ran her fingers through the soft hair at the back of Olivia's neck. "Did you just …?"
The brunette nodded, she clung to Alex, too temporarily satiated to move.
Alex smirked, "Awwww …" She faked a pout, "I wanted to be the one who …"
"You did." Liv cut her off before she could finish. "You did," She assured for a second time, her lips loose in the basking afterglow of sex. "Trust me, you've been doing it for years …"
So, stop there, or continue on to Christmas morning?