Nicole had been on bed rest at Antonio's apartment for two weeks of excruciating boredom. Her inactivity had made her both dependent on Antonio and inquisitive about the past since she had so much time to dwell over it. Every other sentence was a question but the one she wanted to ask the most was, "Where is my mother?" Not that she expected her to come; she just couldn't help feeling disappointed. Antonio climbed into bed beside her. That was something she could get used to.

"You said you'd call me." Nicole said out of tedium, not irritability.

"So did you. To let me know you were ok."

"I can take care of myself. Anyways, I wanted in on the action. I'm dying here."

"Luckily; you're not dying. No thanks to that bastard. Besides; Pollock took you off the case."

"What? Why?"

"You're a victim now; you can't solve the case you're a part of. And, I asked him to."

"You're out of your mind. Why would he listen to you? Plus; you solved the case with your ex-sister-in-law."

"That was different."

"What's the difference? Come on, be a man about it."

"Fine. I never had sex with my ex-sister-in-law."

"God, you're such a chauvinist. Even at the hospital you took it there."

"I can't forget about it Nicole."

"What are you afraid of? Until two weeks ago Darnell was my past. When I first met you, Darnell was my past. But I had a job to do. A job that made us who we are today. Give me some credit; at least I didn't marry him."

"It's always something with you. If it's not Darnell, it's her."

"What are you talking about?"

"Whenever we have a good thing going; you sabotage it, you can't just leave it alone. You have to pick at it."

"I. Do. Not. Do. That."

"Why did you get married, Antonio? Why do you still have wedding pictures in your garage, Antonio?"

"Stop,"

"Why do you try to protect me? Why do you love me? Why are you always there for me?"

"I don't do that," She said with her voice cracking on every word.

"I don't need your protection. I'm not weak you know. I just want you; when I want you, where I want you, how I want you. So wait until I give you the green light."

"I'm not selfish."

"No you're not. You're controlling. I'm not Darnell; you don't need to change me."

"He is not a threat to you. Or us."

"Sometimes I think that if you never met me you would be with him right now."

"Where? In jail? Believe it or not; you're weren't my only way out. I chose you. Now let's get back to this issue of my criticising our happiness to death."

"See? You're doing it again. Stop treating our relationship like a case. You don't have to know everything."

"I just want the truth. In everything."

"Here are the facts: I love you. I don't talk about my ex because she's not you. You're not here to recoup, you're here because it's our home."

Nicole didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She didn't know how to treat him any other way. Darnell had given her the run-around; if fact he had put her world in a whirlwind that she couldn't contain or control. He was right. He's not Darnell. Maybe it was the new intimacy of living together that caused Antonio to say what he did, but in all honesty Nicole knew that his repression was a response to her detachment. Antonio was doing press-ups on the bedroom floor, bare-chested. He only did that when he was frustrated. Nicole sat on his side of the bed, with her shadow covering his body.

"I did it on purpose."

"What?" He puffed out, between reps.
"I walked into her trap; alone. I thought if anyone would kill me it would be her and I knew she was waiting for me."

"Why would you do that?"

"So you wouldn't have to. I'd rather die than see you hurt again. Anyway I owe you one from Phoenix."

The doorbell rang.

"Nicole!" Jess exclaimed as she hugged her. "I'm so glad to see you,"

"Good to see you too. But why are you shocked?"

"Your apartment." Jess sat down on the leather sofa. It made a fart noise that Nicole laughed at.

"What about it?"

"There was a fire and I thought you might have…died." The smile on Nicole's face dissolved.

"Move over."

"Your mother I mean Nina, stopped by to see you and there was smoke coming out through the letterbox. She called Antonio. I think…" Jess said in a hurried fashion.

"…it's related to the case. Damn!"

"Well thank God you weren't there. I'm so happy you're okay."

"Thanks. What was that about my mother?"

"She's been looking after your place; she thought that you wouldn't want her around. And she didn't want to worry you with the hate mail."

"What hate mail?"

"I thought Antonio explained everything."

"Try the opposite, he doesn't tell me anything."

"To top it all off; I've been having a vision. This one is recurring. I think it's about you."

Nicole stormed into the bedroom to find Antonio rearranging is closet; an anally-retentive activity that he did when he was guilty.

"You've been talking to my mother and didn't tell me?" She yelled.

"She insisted…"

The doorbell rang again.

"Save it! I'm selfish, you're a liar and now the doorbell is ringing like a fucking Ricki Lake episode."

"Pollock?" Nicole asked in shock as she opened the front door.

"It's actually John after hours. And no, that's not an invitation for you to use that tenor. I think Lord will be appropriate. Or Sensei."

"Come in, Sensei."

"Comfy." Pollock commented on the sofa. "Though I'm not a fan of impromptu Missing Persons Bureau meetings, I have to take you off bed rest prematurely."

"Yes!" Nicole was ecstatic at the prospect of being free again.

"I'm sure that Agent Cortez informed you of the recent goings on." Pollock asked sarcastically, "Of course he didn't. Quarrel later. See what I did there? Both a suggestion and a premonition."

"Wonderful sir, is Darnell still at large?"

"You know the answer to that: whenever a criminal has influence…"

"He's always at large even if his minions are small."

"How, Agent?" Jess and Antonio were bemused at this one-word communication system they were using.

"It was provocation of a personal kind, sir. Revelations."

"Code Orange?"

"Red."

"Grudge material."

"Lifelong."

"Cortez, how long should it take a Red Miata with to drive 17.8 miles at 35km per hour with four three-minute stops en route?"

"60.8 minutes sir."

"What if they left at 11.15p.m.? Yesterday?"

"They should arrive in a minute sir, at 12.16."

"Then open the door." Nicole said and smiled a reminiscent smile. The doorbell rang.

In his kitchen, Antonio made coffee and sought Jess' advice.

"You can't keep that from her Antonio. Her mother's her soft spot. Does she know about Jasmine?"

"No."

"You've kept her in the dark?"

"Call it what you want. There's a method to my madness."

"There better be. I mean it; you can't just use this time to shut her out from the rest of the world."

"At least I gave her two peaceful weeks,"

"How noble, but Nic isn't that kind of woman. She'll never be satisfied with calm; she's an Agent through and through."

"We're building a life together."

"It's the unexpected that keeps you together. You don't have to be a solution to her past. You're not her father. She wants you for a soul mate not a childhood-fixer. If she didn't love you; she wouldn't be here."

"I just want to protect her."

"By hiding the truth from her? Women hate lies. Didn't it occur to you that Darnell's greatest ammunition is aimed at you and Nicole? You're helping him to tear you apart. Again.

"So…Darnell's trying to kill me." Nicole asked both Pollock and her mother.

"Tried Agent. Past participle." Pollock interjected, assuring that correct grammar was observed.

"Why would he want to kill you?" Nina asked.

"I think that's best explained in private." Pollock advised.

Nina looked across to Nicole for confirmation. "He's right. There's so much…too much." She couldn't believe that she was still trying to protect her mother's feelings.

"I never thought I would say this but; I think you're safer staying with Cortez." Pollock stated hesitantly. Nicole suppressed her inner smile from showing as an outer one. Jess and Antonio walked in with the coffee. Out of anger, Nicole couldn't look at Antonio. Her frustration made her eyes focus on everything else.

"Nicole, I have something to explain." Nina said anxiously. "Why I'm really here."

Typical, Nicole thought. You can't just be here because I'm you're daughter and I'm sick. Well, kind of.

"Erica Jones is best friends with Jasmine Egans."

"Erica from the case?" Nicole asked, abruptly.

"Yes. She was with Jasmine the night her mother and father were murdered."

"Does Jasmine use the name SweetJ.Azz online? Because I know her pretty well." Nicole mentally recalled the IM chats she read through.

Nina nodded her head. "Sixteen years ago I had a daughter and I remarried. His name is James."

Nicole put two and two together. "And her name is Jasmine." Nicole walked out without warning. She sat on the bed shaking with shock.

"I'll go and see how she is." Jess suggested.

"Maybe I should…" Nina started, "…no I've caused enough damage already. Tell her that I'll call. I don't think she's into surprises." Nina wiped her eyes dry and left.

"Cortez, see me out. Mastriani, I'll see you and Agent Scott tomorrow."

Jess knocked gently on the door. "It's me, Nic. Nina's gone and Antonio's…it's me okay?" Nicole opened the door.

"Don't watch me."

"What?"

"If I cry, look away. Understood?"

"Sure. Nic I don't know what to say."

"I have a half-sister and stepfather that I never knew existed. What's there to say?"

"Look; this isn't about you."

"Excuse me?"

"I know you were wronged-"

"Damn right I was. She thinks she can just come into my life, drop some emotional bombshell and drive back to her house and white picket fence."

"Nicole! Shut up. I know you're angry but the fact is: Erica is still at risk. And so is your sister."

"Half-sister and I don't know her from Adam."

"Well you better get to know him because this is our case and now it's personal. More personal than you're feeling at the moment."

"Jess, what is this?"

"Nicole I'm your friend. But I'm an Agent. I can't let you stop me from doing my job just because you don't like this situation. You're my partner and I'll need you there tomorrow. When this is over; you can interrogate you mother as much as you want. You can call her out for not being there, chastise her actions in the past and even blame her for your relationship issues with Antonio. But not now. I'm asking you. Be there." Jess closed the door behind her and walked past Antonio and Cortez on her way to the car.

"Sir, it's late, it's cold and we're outside office hours."

"Those are three accurate yet pointless observations. I suppose you want to know what my reservations are with this…"He paused. "…relationship."

"I do."

"A long time ago a soldier had fallen in the trenches. A colonel; recognising the promise and talent in that soldier, lent a hand. The soldier was grateful and asked what he could do in return. The colonel told the soldier to follow him and that his allegiance was gratitude enough. The soldier stayed loyal and grew agile and astute under the colonel's guidance. The soldier climbed the rungs of the ladder gaining respect and experience with ascendance. Though at times the soldier appeared to be beyond instruction, his loyalty never faltered even under the title of "Special Agent."

"I'm not derailing Nicole."

"The notion of a man sabotaging the career of the woman he loves to keep her dependent. Tried, tested, transparent. This colonel needs his solder back on top form. We never had this conversation."

The lights of Pollock car flickered on and Antonio went upstairs.

"Nicole." Antonio called her name softly. Nicole was sitting in a cold corner of their room, listening to Anita Baker and weeping into a pillow.

"Nic." She turned the volume up. "Just say it," Antonio shouted over the music. "Whatever it is, I can take it."

Nicole looked up at him incensed by anger and betrayal. She wanted to jump up and knock him out. A right hook to the face; but it wasn't worth it. Instead, she laid her deadly gaze on him for ten minutes, leaving him speechless. Anita sang of a sweet love while Nicole re-evaluated hers. She linked her hands behind his neck. He held her around her waist.

"Why did she leave you Antonio?"

"She said she couldn't stay and live in another woman's shadow. That I wasn't ready for commitment; that I rushed her into it. And, that's why I was never satisfied."

"Did you cheat on her?"

"Yes."

"Do you hate me?"

"Never."

"I'm furious."

"I know."

"I would say I can't believe it but I can. You shut me out. Was it your revenge? Finally you knew something I didn't and you could keep it from me. The ultimate lesson; role reversal."

"I didn't do it to hurt you."

"That's all we know. How to hurt each other. Well it worked. It cut me deep. So there; that's what I get for tearing your marriage apart. Somewhere inside you want to hurt me. Just like I know what hurts you and do it anyway. We don't know how to heal and be happy."

"We can be happy."

"I'm choosing to believe you right now because I know that all we have is the Bureau and each other. All we have is each other."

Antonio held her tight as he slept. Nicole cried herself to sleep thinking about the great feat that was facing her and the man she was laying with. The one that got away. The one that re-entered her life. The one that she loved to death. The one she was wishing, hoping and praying would come through for her and be with her until the end. The end. However far or near that was. She knew it wouldn't be easy. There's no pleasure without pain.

His voice broke her thoughts.

"Nic, are you awake?"

"Yeah."

"Are you scared?"

"Yeah. You?"

Antonio held her tighter.

"Terrified."