Title: Fruit Salad
Author: Tsubasa Kya
Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho and Inuyasha belong to their rightful owners. This story is the product of a lack of KuwabaraKagome fanfiction. Flames will not be tolerated.

WARNING: In continuation of Fruit Salad. This is a series of one-shots and the chapters may not connect evenly. Flames will not be tolerated and are rude so don't do them, please. Be nice and considerate. This is and will always be a series of one-shot Kuwabara/Kagome pairings.

Fruit Cake

She loved cooking with Kazuma. Every time she did, she got this feeling of warmth in her gut. They had been together for almost six months now and Christmas was nearing. Kazuma had wanted to host a nice dinner with his family and a few close friends, and that was why Kagome was cooking (though she thought it might have been a mistake...).

Most people liked turkey or roast duck or chicken for Christmas dinner, but Kazuma's family liked meatloaf and potatoes, and Kazuma's Aunt Danize (a real piece of work in herself, Kagome was sure... She had met dragons who were nicer, quite literally!) had invited Kagome to be the one to cook the meatloaf and potatoes. Everyone else would bring a dish to pass, but Kagome was the one who got the hard part, since everyone would eat some of the main course.

Kazuma knew how bad she was at cooking, and took it upon himself to try to help her get things right. He was, after all, her boyfriend. And he was spurned on by the fact that he just knew Hiei, Yusuke, and Kurama wouldn't do the same. He was bound and determined to be better than all of his friends at something, if he couldn't manage fighting.

Okay, maybe Kurama might have helped Kagome cook, but Hiei and Yusuke definitely wouldn't have, and if they would have, he didn't want to know! He was quite happy thinking that they wouldn't do anything like that.

But it was hard not to break into fits of giggles every time Kagome messed up with the meatloaf. She acted like it was a personal offense, and even accused the raw hamburger of plotting against her and trying to ruin her life. Still, none of her mistakes couldn't be fixed by adding more of everything else that the recipe required.

Basically that meant that now there was enough 'meat' for five 'loaves'. He wasn't expecting to have such a large party, just a few family members and friends, but since there was so much food, Kagome was off in the other room calling a few of her friends and family to join them.

Kazuma hoped Kagome's mother didn't bring her 'world class fruit cake'. It tasted god-awful. But then again, a sinister little grin spread across his face. He heard Kagome in the other room, "Oh, Mom, it's great here!... I know you don't like the idea of Kazuma moving in with me--Mom, please try not to yell--Yes, I know! My boss gave me a raise...Well, what do you expect, Mom? Souta's a man now... And well he should!"

Kazuma smoothed the grin off his face and turned away from the counter where he had been peeling the potatoes. Any second guests would begin arriving, or at least, Aunt Danize and her husband would arrive anyway. They always get to a party three hours early, which totally ticked Kazuma off when he remembered that.

"Kagome?" he called into the other room. The girl popped her head in. Goodness she looked so beautiful! She had her hair done in twin French braids, like pigtails, and she seemed to radiate innocence from her little smile. She was sucking on a tootsie sucker while she talked to her mom on the phone. "Is that your mom?" A nod was his answer. He placed his most pleasant smile on his face. "Would you ask her to bring her fruit cake? I just loved it last time I had it!"

Kagome blinked at him. He had spoken loud enough to be heard by her mother. "...Yes, Mom--that's right... Well, he said it, not me. You know I hate your fruit cake... She heard you Kazuma." Kagome looked suspicious of Kazuma, but he didn't mind. He would have to explain his actions and motive to Kagome, but he wouldn't do it until after his friends tried the "spectacular" fruit cake.

He turned back to peeling potatoes. That sinister smile was back. Oh, how fun. Finally he would have a chance to get back at Kurama, Hiei, and Yusuke for their laughing at him six months ago. Granted, their laughing did make it so he met Kagome initially. If they had never laughed at him, he would never have taken off, and in turn, would never have crashed into Kagome.

But still! He chuckled. Kagome's voice had retreated into the bedroom again of their apartment. Yusuke, Hiei, and Kurama would be fighting over the bathroom! Kazuma no longer had the problem of needing a bathroom immediately after consuming the deadly fruit cake. He'd had it enough times that his stomach was practically rock hard.

It was the only thing that Kagome's mother couldn't cook. But it was also the one thing that her mother enjoyed cooking most, and so she made it for every family reunion—and their family seemed to have reunions once a month, and sometimes twice for good luck!

"Mom! I'm thirty-three!" came Kagome's voice from the other room after a distinct silence. "I consider myself very lucky to have Kazuma. He's... Mom, he's not at all like an ogre... He does not look like one... His aunt is, and does look like one, but that's besides the point... He's a big sweetheart, that's what he is!... No, I'm not yelling at you, Mom. You're just complaining about my boyfriend... No I won't break up with him... Listen to yourself! You're hung up on Inuyasha, that's what you are! You know, if I could see Inuyasha again—which I can't and you know I can't—it wouldn't even faze me at all! I'd still say the same thing."

Kazuma raised an eyebrow and his ear seemed to move of its own will toward the door to the bedroom so he could eavesdrop better. He had not ever heard much about Inuyasha, except that according to Kagome's brother, he was the coolest guy ever and saved Kagome's life 'hundreds' of times.

And also he heard from Kagome's mother that he was handsome and would have had the most adorable grand-children with Kagome. And from Kagome's insane grandfather (really, the guy was mentally unstable, calling everyone demons and plastering papers on their heads!) Inuyasha was a dangerous demon from five hundred years ago.

But that wasn't the point! The point was that Inuyasha seemed to be Kagome's ex-boyfriend. "Mom, don't say that! Of, of course I'm still a virgin!" Great, subject change. Right when it was getting interesting... wait a minute! Kagome just lied. To her mother! Kazuma hung his head slightly.

Kazuma knew Kagome wasn't a virgin: she had told him her first time had been with someone special to her, but hadn't said who (could it be Inuyasha? He wondered...). Just because Kagome had no kids didn't mean she was a virgin.

He perked up and went back to the potatoes. Of course, then again, Kagome probably would lie to her mother about that. Goodness! Who would tell their mother that they weren't a virgin until they were married?

Chopping the potatoes up became a mindless task that he was working on. Kagome hung up her conversation with her mother and came into the kitchen again. "I better start working on this again, shouldn't I? Before your Aunt comes."

Kazuma grinned at her, not showing her that he felt a bit miffed that she had lied about being a virgin. He wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her close to her, earning a giggle of surprise from her. "Or you could work on something a bit more interesting... like me?" He suggested in a low voice, a bare whisper in her ear.

"Kazuma--"she giggled before he caught her up in a chaste kiss, holding her in his strong arms. He loved to hold her like this. He loved to smell the lingering scent of shampoo in her hair. He loved to run his hands over her back and her abdomen and sides. He could be like this in private. He could be like this with her, and her alone.

But she pulled back away from him before he could kiss her too much. A groan escaped his lips before he could stop it, and he supposed it was better this way. Kagome didn't even know he was a Spirit Detective, or that a couple of his friends were demons. And there was a whole stretch of her life that she wouldn't talk about.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, a teasing tone in her voice. "But the potatoes won't cook themselves!" She waggled her finger at him for a second, before reaching around him for a napkin and wiping at his lips. "My lip gloss looks far better on me than it does on you, sweetie." she explained.

He smiled, "Thanks." There was a knock on their apartment door. "That'll be Aunt Danize."

--

The party was going spectacular and most of the guests had already arrived. Kagome's mom was exchanging recipes with Aunt Danize, and the Fruit Cake that she had brought was already on the table. Kagome was entertaining a group of Kazuma's lady cousins andhis sister. Kazuma was talking to a group of his guy cousins and his uncle.

Kagome's mom and Aunt Danize were sitting at the table in the kitchen. Kazuma and his group were standing in the living room off to the side in a circle to talk. Kagome and the ladies were seated on the furniture in the living room. There was only three more guests to arrive: Yusuke, Kurama, and Hiei.

It wasn't like Kurama to be late, but he had figured if Yusuke showed he'd probably be at least an hour late, and he had a hunch that Hiei just wouldn't show up at all. But when there was a small knock on the door, he hastened to answer it, excusing himself politely from his group of cousins.

He opened the door. Kurama stood there, freshly showered. A vine was connecting Kurama to Hiei, though it was nearly invisible. However, Kazuma had no doubt it would be a very strong vine. Kazuma blinked and knew confusion was showing on his face. "What the..." he started.

Kurama smiled kindly. "Well, you did invite all of us, and to be honest, I wanted to make sure Hiei did not get lost on the way." The vine disappeared and Kurama nudged Hiei none-too-gently toward the entrance.

Hiei scowled and made his way in. "Oh." Kazuma replieduncertainly. "Glad you could make it, Hiei. There's...food, in the kitchen. We've been snacking on the hors d'ourves for a bit, waiting for you guys." He suddenly wasn't sure if he wanted to play his prank on them, or at least on Kurama. Really, the guy was a nice person. "Kagome didn't want to eat dinner without you guys here. Where's Yusuke?"

"He will be along in ten minutes. I told Keiko to make sure he comes." Kurama smiled, and Kazuma stepped aside so the man could get in. He wasn't like Hiei and could walk right under someone's arm without bending.

"Well, that's good. Aunt Danize was getting irritable, but Kagome placated her by saying the food wasn't even done yet." Kazuma shut the door behind them and they made their way into the living room, where Hiei separated from them and went to sulk in a corner. There was a necklace around his neck that was made of vines. Probably something Kurama would use to keep him from killing the rest of Kazuma's guests--which was good of course!

Kurama and Kazuma went to the gathering of men in the living room. Kazuma looked at Hiei sitting uncomfortably in the window seat of the living room and felt a bit of pity for the small guy. He didn't like social events, did he? No, really didn't like them. They were hell for him, weren't they? So should he play his prank on him?

Wasn't Hiei suffering enough, just being there?

"Kagome's a city girl, is she, Kazuma?" one of his cousins asked him. He nodded. "Well, why does she look like a country gal, hmm? You sure she ain't lying to you and screwin' some wierd guy on the side?"

Kazuma turned his full attention on his cousin and smiled. Be polite. He reminded himself. Be polite. Ram his head in! He clocked his cousin upside the head. "Say that again an' I'll just kick yah right out!" he said loudly.

"Or maybe she's screwin' him?" His cousin pointed to the corner Hiei had gone to, and Kazuma couldn't help but look for confirmation that it was Hiei he was pointing to. Hiei wasn't the type who would take another person's significant other, was he? No, he wouldn't. But his cousin was pointing at Hiei, and who was sitting next to his shrimpy friend? His girlfriend!

A scowl crossed his face as he watched Kagome evoke a small smile (or it could have been a smirk at Kagome's stupidity and humanity but...) from the small demon. How was this possible? Kagome wouldn't cheat on him, would she? "Kagome's just polite to people! That's the way she is!" Kazuma couldn't even make it sound believable in his own ears.

Kurama said, "Hiei is not cavorting with Miss Kagome. He has as little to do with humans as he can." Feeling reassured--slightly--Kazuma turned back to the conversation. With a glare at his cousin, the talk turned toward soccor and which of his cousin's schools would win, reminding Kazuma that all his cousins were twenty years younger than he. But no sooner had ten minutes passed by that Kagome stood and walked into the kitchen with Hiei following her with great interest sparked in his eyes.

What's going on? he asked himself, feeling unease settle in his gut. But he relaxed when he recalled that Kagome's mother and Aunt Danize were in the kitchen as well. The sounds of clattering dishes on the tables alerted him to the fact that Dinner was going to be starting very shortly. He tried not to let it worry him too much when Aunt Danize and Kagome's mother came into the living room and made a bee-line for the bathroom to check their hair, but three minutes was all he could stand, so he had to excuse himself.

"Excuse me," he apologized, disengaging himself from his cousins', uncle, and Kurama's conversation. He walked into the kitchen and looked around for his girlfriend, but there was no Kagome there. She didn't come out the kitchen through the living room door, so that left the only options to be that she left either through the front door of the apartment, or went into the bedroom. Hiei was nowhere in sight either.

He never had been able to feel Kagome's spirit, which in itself was very odd, but he could certainly feel Hiei's spirit and it was in the bedroom. What was going on? Why did this seem so very wrong? He approached the bedroom. How cliche, he thought. The bedroom door is open a crack. He peered into the room.

From this angle, he could see Kagome kneeling on the floor by the closet, digging for something under the floorboards. Wait? The floorboards? He didn't know they even came up! The closet had always been carpeted before. What was going on? He tilted his head and saw just a glimpse of Hiei's black clothes, farther back from where Kagome was kneeling.

Kagome wouldn't be cheating on him would she? He threw away that line of thinking as soon as itcame. Kurama was right, wasn't he? There was just no way in heck that Hiei would ever involve himself with a measly human like Kagome! He only associated himself with Kazuma and Yusuke because he was forced to.

"I've had it for years," Kagome was saying. "But it's not doing me any good to keep it, I suppose. There's nothing left in it. After I used it, I had to make absolutely sure no one else would be able to." Kazuma felt his gut clench slightly. No. She wasn't conspiring against him. She wasn't cheating on him. He wasn't just lucky to have her as his girlfriend;she loved him in return... didn't she?

There was movement in the small demon. He moved closer to Kagome. "I can't believe you've had it all this time and that orange haired moron didn't even realize it." He sounded amused. So he was going to talk about Kazuma like that, was he? It made Kazuma's blood boil to know that.

Kagome turned, her hands holding a small jewelry box. There was a look of disapproval on her face. Kazuma couldn't see Hiei's face, but guessed the demon was smirking. "Now, now. Be nice." she said, still frowning. "If anyone here is a moron, I would say it is you for refusing to accept the inevitable and refusing to associate yourself with others."

So there! Kazuma thought satisfactorily. The little demon was bristling. "You're delusional. I need not associate myself with anyone. All you humans do is hold me back." Kagome chuckled. "What's so funny?" Hiei snapped.

She waved her hand dismissively, now smiling (but it looked more like a smirk to him). "Oh, nothing, nothing. It's just that I had a friend who was just like you. It amuses me to no end when I remember what became of him." She held out the small box toward Hiei and he took it. "You're welcome, Hiei. I don't know what you'll do with a shell of the original, but you're welcome to it anyway."

Hiei opened the box but his shoulder was in the way of Kazuma's line of vision into the box. "So where's the original?" Hiei inquired. Kagome said nothing, but held her closed fist to her heart. "Ridiculous human." He snapped the box shut and stuffed it in his pant's pocket. It wasn't all that big of a box, perhaps the size of a wedding band box.

"Right, and remember your promise?" Kagome persisted.

Hiei scoffed. "I, at least, keep my word. I'll find this person for you."

Kazuma moved away from the bedroom door quickly, moving to the sink. Kagome and Hiei were only seconds behind him exiting the bedroom, but Kazuma pretended to be busy at the sink. "Thank you, Hiei." Kagome said as they reentered the kitchen, and Kazuma turned, mustering up anger (it wasn't terribly hard to do) and hiding his confusion. What was going on between his girlfriend and his not-so-close best friend?

"The hell? Why were you in the bedroom with him?" he demanded of Kagome, as if he only just now figured outshe was in there with Hiei. "Hiei, I swear if you did anything I'll--"

"Relax," Hiei said gruffly. "She's not worth my time anyway, and she's far too ugly." Before Kazuma could whack him for that rude comment, Kagome retaliated. She made it look like she was just yawning and stretching, but like a cruel little feline, his girlfriend "accidentally" hit Hiei in the process. With both hands? How did that happen?

"Oops! I'm so sorry, Hiei!" she apologized in a very unsincere voice. Hiei scoffed and glared at her, massaging his cheek before reentering the living room, at which time Kagome moved over to Kazuma again. "Don't worry, sweetie. I know Hiei has a sweet-tooth for candy, so I got him some and in return, he has promised to meet with one of my best friends on a date, since she hasa sweet-tooth for him! Isn't that cute?" Her little nose scrunched up and Kazuma relaxed.

It was so amazing how Kagome managed to figure Hiei out (and bribe him) into doing something. And live to tell about it! Wahaha! He had a very sinister girlfriend! It was just a very good thing that Yukina rejected him all those years ago. He was grinning and he knew it. There was a knock at the door.

"That must be Yusuke and Keiko!" Kagome said with a smile and walked over to the door, away from Kazuma. "Keiko called and said they were on their way just a few minutes ago." Finally! They could get started on the dinner party.

It wasn't until after all the guests had gone (Yusuke, Keiko, Kurama, and Hiei included, and Aunt Danize and Uncle both kicked out when it got late) that Kazuma remembered his evil little plot to make his friends eat the fruit cake.

Damn.

--

Hiei groaned. He must have eaten something that just didn't agree with his stomach. That's why he always said humans were dangerous in the kitchen!

A knock on the bathroom door told him that Kurama was on the other side. "Hiei, if you're that sick, you can sleep on the couch tonight." Kurama said. "I'm going to bed."

Hiei wanted to murder someone. But what did the bathroom smell like? Fruit?

End.