So yes, darn plot bunnies that turn into stories. This is how it always happens, isn't it?
My plan for this story is about 4-8ish chapters. Basically Chuck and Sarah refalling in love. But it won't all be hugs and puppies because I can't just make everything go smoothly, right? I have a few things planned out, and a few things I will probably make up on the fly. But I apologize because exams are starting up so I really won't get anything else out until after February 16th in which I am done all my pre-reading week exams.
If there is anything you want to see happen with Chuck and Sarah falling in love again (well, Sarah falling in love again), let me know and I'll see if it fits with my story plan. But I do want to thank every person who read this and review it and made my day/week/Chuck ending sadness into happiness and super amazing. I appreciate every single one of you, and just want you to know that I do read all of them even if I don't reply, and each time I get that little "1" in my inbox I squeal a little because you guys actually enjoyed my writing.
Okay enough talking, let's get to the story!
Disclaimer: I don't have enough money to buy the rights to Chuck. And if I did I definitely wouldn't be studying for a Biochem exam on Valentine's Day!
Heart vs. Mind - Chapter 2
To say that first evening together again was awkward would be the understatement of the year. Sure, Sarah knew where almost everything was without really thinking. But then there was the time she was changing into pajamas and Chuck accidentally entered the bedroom to get a pair of pajama pants of his own. Or when Sarah forgot to brush her teeth and accidentally walked in on Chuck using the washroom. Or how Chuck forgot something else from his bedroom and tried to sneak in while Sarah was already asleep, prompting her to wake up as Chuck tripped over the cord to his computer. Or how, after he left and Sarah attempted to fall asleep again, she realized just how cold her feet really were all alone in the large bed.
So that is how Chuck has gotten to this point in his evening – three in the morning, laying on the couch wide awake and staring at the roof. How did he even get to this point in his marriage? Sure, Chuck knew there would be days when he would be sent to the doghouse. Days when he would be forced to sleep on the couch because his wife is angry with him. But sleeping on the couch because she doesn't remember how to love him? This is just terrible.
He rolls over, standing up and putting on a pair of shoes. Chuck doesn't bother with changing out of his pajamas and walks outside into the courtyard. He looks over at Ellie and Devon's house, the boxes all neatly packed up inside and ready to be loaded into a truck in a few days. Their whole lives are ahead of them and waiting in Chicago, while as hopeful as Chuck is about his prospects with Sarah, he is worried that the best years of his life are over.
By now everyone is probably asleep, and Chuck really doesn't want to wake up Ellie a few nights before their move. Especially not at three in the morning. But what he really could use is someone to talk to. Who Chuck really wants to talk to is Sarah. They used to talk about everything – feelings, thoughts, likes, dislikes, random facts, personal problems. Everything. And now Chuck has lost his go-to girl and feels a little lost himself.
He walks over to the fountain and sits down, his hands rubbing circles on his forehead as he runs them through his hair. He needs to plan out the perfect date for Sarah – the perfect way to make her fall in love with him again. But what? What big sweeping gesture can he use to remind Sarah of all the amazing times they've had together?
Chuck perks up as he hears a door open, the shape of Morgan Grimes in all his glory (and by that Chuck means just a pair of Star Wars boxers) heading towards him. Chuck gives a small half smile then drops his head back down.
"I was getting a drink of water when I saw you sitting out here. So how'd it go? Did you find her? Did you kiss her? Did she remember?"
Chuck smiles at his friend's eagerness, knowing part of it is just rubbing off from the first night of shacking up with Alex. Oh what Casey would have done to them if he were in town.
"Yeah, buddy. I found her."
"That's great! So why aren't you inside that house kissing her or something?"
"It's more complicated than that." Chuck sighs out, his head falling back to his hands.
"Why? Did the kiss not work? Damn you Disney movies for giving me a false sense of hope!"
Chuck laughs. "No, the kiss worked. Sort of. She agreed to go on a date with me tomorrow night."
"A date?" Morgan asks. "But Chuck, you do realize she's your wife, right?"
"Yeah, I know that bud. But she doesn't remember. Well, she remembers but she doesn't feel it? Oh, I don't know. I just know she doesn't want us to sleep in the same bed, and she doesn't want to jump right back into things. But she does want to try."
Morgan nods slowly, taking it all in. "But, that's a start, right?"
"I guess." Chuck replies. "I think she is having the same problem you had with the whole brain-heart miscommunication."
"Oh, I definitely know how that works. But the ending is great," Morgan emulates Tony the Tiger, stressing the 'gr' in great. "Trust me, I just had three rounds of the ending tonight!"
"Gross Morgan!" Chuck says, sliding a little further away from the bearded man. "Don't tell me that then sit next to me!"
"Oh yeah? And who was it that had sex on the Carmichael Industries plane coming home from the mission in Minsk? Don't think I didn't know about that Chuck!"
"I… we… just…" Chuck sighs.
"So, really though, if Sarah is back then what's the big problem that keeps you up at 3AM?"
"Well, she agreed to go on a date with me tomorrow, right? And so I need to plan the perfect outing – something that will make her fall in love with me all over again."
"No, no, no. Chuck, with the heart-brain thing, you can't just jump in all willy-nilly and expect her to fall in love with you again. It takes time, and effort, and being yourself. Trust me, it took a long time to gain Alex's trust back, but look at how happy we are now?" Morgan looks over to his apartment, and then his eyes drift to Ellie and Devon's house. "Don't tell Ellie I am telling you this, but she told me that to get Alex back I needed to just be myself and she'd realize how great I am. I think you need to take her advice too."
"But how?" Chuck asks. "She is used to super spy Chuck Bartowski. And all she remembers for real is super spy Bryce Larkin. How is plain old me supposed to compete with that?"
"Easy, Chuck. By using this." Morgan reaches forward and taps Chuck's chest. "You are the bravest, kindest and most loving man I know. If anyone can make that girl fall in love again, it's you. But don't try to impress her with a super flashy first date. Try something simple like…" Morgan pauses to think, "Sizzling shrimp! Or, dinner and a movie. Maybe something fun like mini golf. Something that provides normalcy, makes her feel appreciated but also as if you aren't trying too hard to force her into love. Something that will make her fall in love with you completely against what her mind says."
"Something that makes her fall in love with me against what her mind says… thanks Morgan. That might actually help." Chuck stands up and makes his way towards the house. "And you better get back to Alex – she's probably wondering why a drink of water lasts twenty minutes."
Morgan nods, standing up as well. "Just remember," He calls quietly as he makes his way to his own home, "You are Charles Irving Bartowski. You can do whatever you set your mind to. I know that, your sister knows that, your dad knew that, even Sarah knows that. So go get her!"
"I will, Morgan. I will." Chuck smiles to himself as he heads back into the house, a plan formulating as to the perfect first date. "Aces, Charles. You're aces."
Sarah lays in bed, her eyes open and staring at the far wall. There is a poster there, something she can't fully recognize in the darkness. Ever since Chuck had stumbled over the cord an hour or so ago and woke her up, Sarah has been unable to fall asleep again. First off, her feet are cold. And though she knows what Chuck claims she did (no, what she must've done) if she was cold in bed before, the empty spot next to her makes warming up impossible.
Everything is so familiar, yet so strange and different at the same time. Sarah isn't this girl – the girl with a side of the bed (left, it seems, as this is where she is currently laying and where she had slept while undercover from Quinn), the girl who needs someone else to warm her feet up, the girl who can't get a damn song out of her head! It isn't even a song Sarah has heard before, or at least she doesn't think she has. Could this be one of her memories?
Sarah shakes her head, rolling over in bed and gathering the covers into a cocoon around her legs. Birds fly high, you know how I feel. She flips again, burrowing her face in the pillow. Sure in the sky, you know how I feel. She grabs the covers, pulling them up over her head. Breeze drifting by, you know how I feel. Oh this is hopeless.
Sarah sits up in bed, flopping the covers down and groaning. Where did she hear that song before? That's it, Sarah gives up. She can't be here, can't be this person that Chuck says she is. Maybe she seemed confident on the beach, but she was being vulnerable then, and Sarah Walker is not vulnerable.
It's a new dawn. Sarah pauses what she is doing, looking down at her hands to realize that she has started absent-mindedly twisting the wedding ring on her left hand. She instantly stops, pulling her right hand back and gazing at the thing in question. She pulls it off and stares at it.
It's a new day. A simple band, gold, nothing too flashy. Upon closer inspection, she realizes that the ingenious little thing opens up, turns itself into a lock pick. This must've been her idea. Wait, no. Was it her idea? Another muffled sound leaves her mouth, and Sarah's mind begins to trick her body. It tells her to leave, to run, to get away as fast as possible. That Sarah Walker doesn't put lock picks in wedding rings. That this girl that Chuck wants her to be, she may never exist again. How could she possibly live up to the idolized version of Sarah Walker that Chuck thinks exists? That's it. She has to get out of here.
It's a new life. Damn that stupid song. If only it would get out of her head! Maybe, if she just looks at the sleeping form of Chuck on the couch, she might get the courage to stay. Maybe her heart will start talking instead of her brain. Because right now her brain says run.
She creeps out of the bed, moving silently until something catches her off guard. Voices, from outside. She diverts her covert operation to the windowsill, sitting quietly to hear what is going on outside. The voices are muffled, but she can make some things out. If only she could get closer.
A voice breaks through the muffles, the sound of Morgan Grimes. He is talking, giving Chuck advice. And Chuck sounds nervous and worried. Worried that Sarah won't give him a chance, won't fall in love with him again. But Sarah's heart whines at her, wondering how she could not fall in love with this man who is so desperate for her that he wanders outside in the middle of the night in just pajamas and shoes? Their conversation ends, and Sarah silently sneaks back into the bed.
The song starts up again in her mind. It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life. And I'm feeling good. She looks down at the small ring of metal in her hand. She slowly moves it back to the worn in spot on her left hand. Oh, screw it. She is giving the nerd a chance. It took Sarah five hundred and sixty-four days to fall in love with this guy the first time, how long will it take now?
Chuck had said he would "pick Sarah up" around six that evening. What he meant by that, Sarah didn't know. He told her to wear something nice, something for a night out on the town, but still something she can move in, whatever that means. It sounds like the description of classic mission-wear, but Sarah is not sure how appropriate it would be if she dresses for their date like it is a mission. Isn't the whole point of this dating thing so Sarah can believe those mission logs, and believe Chuck's story that their love isn't just a cover?
So now she stands, staring into a closet filled with what must be her own clothes, the clock screaming 5:20 and she still has no idea what to wear. Has he already seen her in all of these things? Some of the items Sarah doesn't even know why she had purchased them – they are much too old for her. Although, the Sarah that purchased them had five more years of memories than the Sarah looking at them now.
All she has really decided on is a pair of black panties with a matching lacy bra. It seems this Sarah doesn't keep sensible undergarments either – except for sports bras. Maybe it's for missions; maybe the old Sarah really enjoyed making Chuck happy. Either way, there are some pretty revealing stuff in there and Sarah, though not sure how far she is willing to let Chuck get with this date, knows that she won't be showing him those outfits anytime soon.
And, though she knows this is a "real" date, and not a mission or a cover date, old habits die hard and she is still wearing a gun slung high on her left inner thigh and a small sheath of knives on her right ankle. You can never be too careful. Although this combination pretty much means she will need some sort of ankle boot that covers the sheath but still gives access. And it also means a skirt or a dress for gun access.
Why is it so hard to pick out an outfit for your first date with your husband? Sarah's mind stops, and she laughs at herself for even thinking such an absurd question. Who would've thought, Sarah Walker has a husband. If her dad ever found out, he would call Chuck a quack or a shmuck or something and would scorn his daughter for settling down. And, on the off chance that he likes Chuck, he would still do the same things only there would be the hint of a smile in his eyes.
Sarah groans in desperation and turns to the desk where she has laid out all of the makeup she found in the bathroom. Maybe if she starts with that, the clothing will come naturally. Or maybe she should just call this all off right now and just admit to herself that it is not going to happen.
Chuck paces in the living room of his apartment, waiting for his wife to come out for a date. Sure, they had date night as a married couple. But often it involved gunfire and swordplay. Something tells Chuck that this Sarah Walker would probably enjoy that more than what he really has planned.
He walks over to the mirror, giving himself one last look over. Black pants, a simple blue striped button down (one he knows used to be Sarah's favourite), and a dark jacket on top. Simple, easy, put together. Great for a night that, to tell the truth, Chuck hasn't fully planned out yet.
Back in the living room, something catches his eye. It's a wedding photo, a candid one that Alex had taken. Chuck is holding Sarah in a dipped position, his lips on her neck and a giant smile on her face. He smiles looking down at it, hoping he can one day have her smiling that same smile, feeling the same way he feels.
"I'm ready." Chuck hears, and he turns around to face the hallway leading to the bedrooms. Sarah is standing there in an outfit that makes Chuck's eyes pop out of his own head. Her hair is pulled up into some sort of bun at the top of her head. She has on a long, dark purple tunic with tight black pants underneath, and sexy black boots that stop just below Sarah's knees. But the one thing Chuck can't take his eyes off of is how she hasn't removed the small band on her left ring finger.
"You look…" Chuck can't form words. Because Sarah is beautiful and he will make her fall in love with him again, because looking at Sarah in that outfit is making him fall in love with her.
"Thanks." Sarah replies, looking down at the ground. "Should we… get going?"
"Yes, right, yes. Date. Us. Going." Chuck stammers. He pauses, smiling at Sarah. "I'm just really glad you agreed to this. I don't know what I would do if you didn't."
Sarah nods, taking a breath in. "Are we walking there or driving?"
Chuck's chest falls a little at Sarah's response. He had definitely imagined the start of this date to go differently, but then she entered the room in that!
"Car. We're taking a car." He composes himself, then holds out an arm to Sarah. "Shall we?"
She smiles and allows herself to grasp Chuck's arm with her own. "Where are we going?" Sarah asks as they walk outside and Chuck pauses to lock the door.
"Oh, just wait and see, sweetie." Chuck replies.
Sarah freezes, and when Chuck continues walking towards the street he realizes he is alone.
"Sarah?" He asks, coming back over to the shell shocked woman. "Oh god, what did I do wrong? Don't tell me I screwed up already. Was the sweetie too much? I'll just stick with Sarah. And now I've ruined it before I started."
"No, Chuck. It's okay. Just… caught me off guard a little. I'm really not used to pet names. But, I'll get used to it." She says, a smile forcing its way onto her face.
"I don't want you to get used to it. I want you to like it. So, Sarah it is for now, okay ba-." Chuck stops himself. "I'm assuming baby is out of the vocabulary for a while too."
Sarah nods. "Just for a little while."
The two stand there in the courtyard, Chuck trying not to stare while Sarah tries to preoccupy herself with something over than how good Chuck looks in blue. After a moment of awkward silence, Chuck holds his arm out again to Sarah. She silently takes it again and, in a mutual agreement, nothing else is said until they are safely in the car and driving to wherever Chuck is taking them.
"Really, Chuck?" Sarah asks, staring at her so-called husband. "This is where you are taking me on our first date?"
"I figured we've done worse. Plus, this gives us the action I know we crave."
"You could've told me we were doing this, I would've worn more sensible shoes."
Chuck looks down at the four inch heeled boots his wife is wearing. "You've done way more in way worse. Trust me."
"Okay, but still. A little warning would've been nice."
Chuck shakes his head, handing over Sarah's breast plate. "Yeah, but where would be the fun in surprising you?" He puts his own breast plate on, and slings the gun pack over his shoulders. He lifts his gun and aims it at Sarah's face, finger on the trigger. "So, partners or enemies?"
Sarah rolls her eyes, using a hand to drop the weapon from her face. "Isn't it always more fun as enemies?" She asks innocently, batting her eyelashes at Chuck.
"Oh, it is on!" Chuck replies,
"Just try not to shoot any of the little children." Sarah replies, heading into the direction of the playing field.
"Hey! Laser tag can be for adults too!" Chuck whines, closely following Sarah to where a man is going over the rules of the game.
"The number one rule is to have fun, everybody." The man says from his small podium. "But the second rule is no physical violence and no touching other players of any kind. This is sudden death – one laser tap and you are out. Last one standing wins, got it?"
There is a chorus of "yeahs" and "okays" from the surrounding group of teenagers and a few straggling adults, all wearing identical black breast plates and backpacks and carrying a plastic gun.
"Now, once in the arena you have sixty seconds to run, hide, get as far away from the other players as possible before your packs activate. And after that, it's show time."
The group moves towards the playing field, and Sarah can't help but giggle at what Chuck thought was a good first date for two grown adults. There is no way she is losing at this.
"You are going down, Sarah." Chuck whispers into her ear, his mouth a little too close so that she feels the warmth of his breath and a shiver is sent down her spine. It takes Sarah a moment to compose herself, but she turns around and stares Chuck straight in the eye.
"Don't even think about it, Bartowski. There is no way you can win."
"Oh yeah? Who's got a computer in their head, huh?" Chuck mocks.
"I could beat you anytime, any day. With or without the intersect."
"You're on." Chuck replies.
The two enter the playing field and, with one last glance of challenge, Sarah dashes off to find the best place to hide. Chuck stands in place for a moment, smiling at himself.
This is a much better date than trying to recreate their first night together. New memories, new experiences, but she will still fall in love with him. Chuck knows it.
Sarah laughs, a hand unconsciously reaching across the table to land on Chuck's arm. She is laughing so hard there are tears forming in her eyes, unable to hold it in any longer.
"So then…" Chuck pauses for a minute, feeling Sarah reach out to him. He looks down at her hand and she quickly pulls it away again. He takes a deep breath in to finish the story. "So then, even with Casey struggling next to me, I really thought it would save him, so I leaned in and," the laugher has returned again almost seamlessly, "and I kissed him. With tongue."
"With tongue?" Sarah asks, her hands now fully surrounding her drink.
"Well, how else do you transfer saliva?" Chuck responds, earning another gaffaw from Sarah and feeling his heart swell again.
"Did it work?"
"Not one bit." Chuck replies. "Eventually the scientist came in, took my blood and made the antidote, but it was pretty hilarious at the time."
"I can't believe you aren't dead!" Sarah manages to get out between chuckles. "The Casey I knew, he would never let anyone kiss him without putting a bullet through their head."
Chuck smiles, his face falling a little. "Well, when Casey gets back, you will just have to get to know the new him as well."
"Yeah." Sarah replies.
This is how their dinner has gone. Light, happy, bantering conversation filled with laughs and stories followed by awkward silences punctuated by the fact that Chuck remembers all of these stories and Sarah doesn't.
"Well, maybe when I see him, we can compare Chuck Bartowski kissing techniques." Sarah finally says, breaking the silence. And just like that, the conversation seems to flow again.
"Oh, please don't." Chuck replies.
Sarah pauses, unsure if she should say what is on her mind. Eventually, she decides to tell him. "For some reason, I don't think I particularly liked the ending of that mission, even with the hilarity of you kissing Casey. I just don't know why."
"Hmm." Chuck replies, knowing full well that leaving Jill out of the story was probably the best thing to do at this point, especially if Sarah feels this way without Jill even being brought up once. "I don't know why either. But it's good that you're getting these feelings, right?"
"I guess." Sarah takes a long sip from her drink, trying to remember why that particular mission feels so uncomfortable in her mind. Maybe she will think of it later. For now, she wants to keep the conversation flowing on something easy to discuss. "Okay, tell me another story where Casey looks like a fool."
"Did I get to the story about Casey being found in his underwear handcuffed to the headboard of a hotel room?" Chuck asks.
"No!" Sarah laughs, and she leans back in her seat ready to hear more stories that she can't yet remember.
After dinner, Chuck and Sarah went wandering downtown Burbank, not really talking but more enjoying the silence of being together. The entire way home, Sarah's mind and heart were grappling with each other. A goodnight kiss, or no goodnight kiss? Is he really that adorable, and how nerdy can he be? Could she ever feel the way he thinks she will, or does a part of her feel that way already. She has all these feelings and impulses about the stories Chuck tells, but none of them are concrete memories. The only memory she knows is real is the one of them writing their names in the doorframe of that small house. And she clings to that in her mind, clings to the hope that she could love him enough to deface property she doesn't own just to prove that love.
After unlocking the door, Chuck stops them just before they enter the house in Echo Park. He reaches out to grasp Sarah's hand. She looks down at it, staring at the still new yet so familiar sensation. It's like Sarah's entire life is a contradiction of itself – it all feels so normal and tangible, while at the same time so abstract and foreign.
"Look, Sarah," Chuck says, his eyes staring straight into hers as she raises her head. "I had a really great time tonight, and I hope you did too."
"I think that was my first real date I've ever been on, to be honest." Sarah replies.
Chuck nods, his mind replaying many other real dates the two have shared but for once his mouth obeys the orders to stay shut about that particular matter. "So, my question is… what about a second date?"
Sarah smiles, looking up into Chuck's eyes. She speaks before her brain can stop her, and her body tingles as she lets it voice its needs. "How can I think about a second date when I haven't even gotten my kiss goodnight from this one?"
Chuck is taken aback, definitely not expecting that reply. He lifts a hand, bringing it to stroke down the side of Sarah's face, moving aside a curl that had fallen loose of the bun during the course of laser tag. Then, slowly, Chuck leans in. Sarah waits, the anticipation killing her but her mind forcing herself to let Chuck come down to her. Finally, finally, their lips meet.
The kiss is soft, caring. Sarah forgoes all thoughts and lets her body control her movements. She leans up and into Chuck's mouth, but neither mouth parts to allow the other access. It is simple, lips moving in tandem as if they've done this a thousand times. Then, without knowing why, Sarah is pulling away. She moves her head back a few quarters of an inch, enough that their lips are no longer touching but she can still feel his breath as he breathes through his nose.
"Goodnight, Chuck." Sarah says, opening the door and moving inside. She shuts it behind her and leans against the hard wood frame, hoping Chuck realizes she wants a moment alone before he enters. A hand wanders up to touch her lips, and her tongue sneaks out for a taste.
Is it possible to fall in love with someone so fast?
No. This is not love, not yet. This is the idea of love, the idea of something more. Sarah is falling in love with the idea of Chuck Bartowski, and all he says they had, and that terrifies her. She is terrified that it will never be as good as Chuck thinks it can be, as he knows it was. Terrified that she will never love him as much as she loves the idea of loving him. And even more terrified that it is all true, and one day will fall for him just as hard as she did the first time. But can she ever truly fall for this man as more than an idea?
Tonight is definitely a good start, but Sarah knows it will take a lot of work to fully let her guard down, to let Chuck love her for the person she is. But still, she thinks as she remembers the goodnight kiss that made her warm all over, there is definitely something there.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, Chuck is leaning up against the frame mimicking his wife's actions. His hand is on his lips but they are no longer smiling.
His mind travels through the date, lingering on things he shouldn't be lingering on. How, as the only two left in laser tag, Sarah jumped out from her spot plastered to the roof and shot Chuck square in the chest. How that image gave Chuck a flashback to Sarah pointing a much more real gun at him in a much whiter room. How throughout their conversation at dinner, Chuck would say something stupid about their past and an awkward silence would fill the table. How Chuck kept their conversation topics light, bringing stories from their past that had nothing to do with their relationship. How any time he seemed to speak about something they had done together, Sarah would get silent and focus on eating until the conversation became light again. How the evening didn't really flow as well for Chuck as he thought it would, as he felt their first date five years ago went. Even if that was only a cover date.
And, though she wanted him give her a kiss, and though the kiss was almost electric, Chuck can't help but feel something nagging in the back of his brain. It's that nerdy, Buy-More employee, Standford-drop-out from five years ago. The one that says, "She's out of your league. Why would a girl like THAT ever fall in love with a guy like YOU? Look at yourself? You don't deserve her!" The one that doubts Sarah would ever be able to fall in love with him again regardless of the triumphant past.
No. Chuck cannot listen to five-years-ago Chuck. He has to listen to right-now Chuck, the one that knows that Sarah Bartowski is in there amidst all of the Sarah Walker. The one that knows she loves him more than she can express. The one that knows no matter how terrified she is of commitment, of losing all her stability and jumping into something that has no promises, that she did it once before. And it may have taken him three years, but it was worth all the effort.
Before his wedding, Chuck had thought back on the last four years of his life. On the struggles, the triumphs, the heartbreak and the love. And he remembers thinking, If I had to do it all over again, I would. Well, Chuck is pretty sure he didn't mean literally. But now he has that chance, to make her fall in love again.
Move aside five-years-ago Chuck. Because that girl is going to fall for this nerd, and she is going to fall hard. If it takes a month, or a year, or six. He will get her back. And how does Chuck know? Because, when they had that goodnight kiss, he could feel the shiver of happiness down her spine.
I couldn't make their first date perfect, now could I? But they both definitely over dressed for laser tag, right?
Hope you liked it. Hope you like what I have planned. Hope we all get to continue living in this world a little longer, even if it isn't on TV with new episodes anymore.
I love you all and can't believe you are still here with me. Until the next update,
BrittJK :)